Let's Chalk This One Up To "Drugs"
A long time ago, in a land far beyond the reaches of Equestria, there was a land made all of chalk, two dimensional and grainy, held together by the fine grains that made up their reality. This land was creatively named “Chalklandia” by its inhabitants.
In a small town, Chalkville, there lived a unicorn named Chalklight Sparkle; she was best friends with five other chalk ponies: Flutterchalk, Chalkbow Dash, Chalkity, Chalky Pie, and Applejack.
Chalklight stepped out into the large white plane that made up, and breathed in the chalk dust that was always present in the air through her large, chalky nostrils.
“Ah, what a glorious day to be drawn!” she said, smiling at the world around her. “The chalk birds are tweeting, the grass is immobile, and Princess Chalklestia is making her rounds through the sky, erasing the sun with her little chalk hooves and redrawing it to ensure the passage of the day!"
“Hello, Princess Chalklestia!” Chalklight called up to her. “How are you doing this fine day?”
“Wishing for the sweet release of death, just as always!” Chalklestia panted, her chalk legs and wings aching from the constant erasing and redrawing.
Chalkight let loose a loud laugh and rolled her eyes in jest. “Oh, Chalklestia, you always crack me up!”
Chalklestia groaned as she erased the sun for the upteenth time that day.
Chalklight whistled a happy little tune to herself as she skipped her way across the flat line that lead to the only building in town: Chalkstick Corner. This is where Chalky Pie made all of Chalkville’s tasty treats, from chalk cake to chalk pies and chalk muffins. Chalklight herself preferred to snort the chalk straight up her nose, because she’s a hardcore motherfucker like that.
Walking up to the wall of Chalkstick Corner, Chalklight erased part of the line that made it up and stepped through it, trotting up to the counter. There, Chalky Pie was crushing sticks of chalk, having seen Chalklight erase her way through the walk.
“Heya, Chalklight!” Chalky exclaimed, pushing over the mound of chalk dust towards Chalklight. “I’ve got your stuff right here!”
“Thanks, Chalky! How much do I owe you?” Chalklight asked.
Chalky giggled. “Consider it on the house, Chalklight!”
Chalklight smiled at her friend. “Aw, you’re the best, Chalky.” And with that, she slammed her face into the pile of chalk, inhaling like there was no tomorrow.
Which there wouldn’t be.
There was a mighty rumble, and then a crash that echoed from somewhere outside. Chalklight brought her face up from the pile of chalk dust, her eyes wide and her teeth sliding against each other, slowly grinding down from both the speed and the force at which she was doing it.
When the room suddenly disappeared from around them, Chalklight had at first thought that the chalk dust had already taken effect, but after a few moments, deduced that that was stupid. After all, it took at least FIVE minutes for any sort of chalk dust high to start.
“Chalky, what’s going on?” Chalklight asked. Before her friend could answer her, it became all too obvious what was going on.
With a huge whooshing noise, a large blur of black consumed Chalky and the rest of chalkstick corner, leaving by only a thin trail of chalk particles in its wake. Chalklight screamed in horror, and lept back through the hole in the wall she had created just moments earlier, and fled down the street.
“OH SWEET CHALKLESTIA!” Chalklight looked up at the sky eyes wide in fear.
“What is it, Chalklight?” sweet Chalklestia asked, pausing in her endless routine of erasing and redrawing.
Chalklight trust her hoof up at the sky. “ERASERS!”
It was true. At least ten of them were bearing down on all of Chalklandia, as far as the little eyes of the chalk ponies could see. There were erasing everything in sight, destroying all that they could. These invaders had no reason, no purpose for doing this. It was simply their life, to destroy all of the work that the chalk ponies had created.
Chalklight opened her mouth to scream in horror uselessly once more, but an eraser soon reduced her to but a faint dusting of chalk remnants. The rest of the town soon followed all submitting to the chalkocaust that the erasers were bringing down upon them.
“Yes, death at last!” Chalklestia cried out in joy, a chalky tear running down her cheek. “Take me, oh sweet deliverers of heaven!”
An eraser swiped out her sun, and another one took her body out. All that was left of Chalklestia was her head, sitting there, suspended in space.
“Wait... you missed a spot. The most important spot. Take me now!” Chalklestia closed her eyes and waited. When death did not come, she opened one eye, and looked around.
The erasers had gone, all of Chalklandia having been erased. She was simply sitting there, alone in the empty world around her, a head without the ability to move or really do anything at all except speak and blink.
“It’s not fair,” Celestia choked out, more tears, these ones of frustration and sorrow, leaking down her cheeks. “IT’S NOT FAIR!”
“So, what do you think?” Rumble asked Cherrilee, his face beaming as he presented her his story.
Cheerilee flipped through the pages if the story once more before looking up at Rumble, jimmies rustled visibly in her expression.
“We-ell...” Miss Cheerilee said with a pained expression on her face, an odd mix between a forced smile and a grimace. “I think the school psychologist would really like to see it!”
“Ugh, again?” Rumble whined. “You send me to him every creative writing class!” With his tail between his legs, his story in his mouth, and a trail of bitching behind him, he began to walk towards the door so he could head out to the cardboard box on the other side of the playground that the psychologist used as his office.
“Well, maybe if you weren’t such a weird little fuck, we wouldn’t have to go through this every week,” Cheerilee muttered under her breath and Rumble’s supple buns jiggled away.
“What?” Rumble turned around to look at Cheerilee.
“I said ‘it’s for your own good, Rumble!’” Miss Cheerilee called back, before sighing and pouring half a bottle of bourbon into her “Equestria’s Number 123rd Best School Teacher” mug.
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Did you snort chalk dust?
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Interesting and chalky story though.
5128900 what are you a cop
You know, at one point, I was tempted to write a really crazy story. A story that made everyone wonder what the flying fuck was going on.
...
You win.
5128908
No, I sell propane!
Who's got the chalk? Rumble's got the chalk!
5128908
DON'T BE SUCH A NARK NANAKO
But you didn't give Applejack a chalky name!
That must be some good stuff you're doing.
Shoulda been called "Achalkalypse."
this story makes sense to me.
And That, my dear regidar, is why I am the most fucked up person to live on our planet.
5129024 it wasn't exceptionally confusing
*looks at title*
Probably Regidar
*clicks link*
Well aren't I just a prophet. Put me up there with Jesus.
CHALK?!
CHALK?!
I REMEMBER WHEN THEY INVENTED CHALK!!
5129037 your picture.. It beckons to me.
5129036
Yes. Yes I am. No wait, that's the almighty cthlulu.
PRAISE THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS, AND MAY HE DELIVER US INTO THE TRUE WORLD!!
This... this was amazing. I literally have no words other than 'wowholyexclaimationwoohoowhywondrousbeautifulkillmenowfantasticgreatcoolstupendous' right now.
I laughed internally
This reading was amazing and truly gave me a laugh. Rumble is da man. Honestly, good short story though.
5129320 why should I waste time chalkifying a background pony
Was expecting a chalkzone crossover.
Was completely disappointed and bamboozled.
Unfollowed. Unsubscribed. Deleted from friends list. Photograph thrown into fireplace.
I... umm.. I... what?
Care to read that paragraph again?
5129556 oh dear
let me fix that
5129568 Ahh, danke Herr Regidar.
5129574 Ich kanne nicht spreche Deutsche sehr gut.
well fuck you too, regi
Regi's done it again! Only with chalk this time.
icwutudidthar
5129337 YOU BITCH!!!! AJ is NOT a background pony.
5129582 Nun... das ist schiße.
5129337 And to think you were one of the writers on this site I respected the most
5130785 Nein!
5130779 prove it
5131031 that was your first mistake
5131083 She os part of the main 6 and all of the fandom thinks so too so NEEYAHHH!!!!
5130785 Some thing something shit? Can you translate that? I know the one word in that only.
5131154 [citation needed]
FimFiction.net.... Y U NO FEATURE THIS!?!?
Best registory
5131154 AJ is worst pony. Pinkie Pie would be just as bad if she wasn't reality-bending. Tis the fate or Earth ponies.
Oh, and I said "well... that is shit."
5132539 No she is not. Blueblood is worst pony!
5133189 Blueblood, in his defense, was faced with someone who wanted to marry him for his title and nothing more.
Applejack, however, suffers the fatal flaw of not being able to lie. Ever. She'll make a terrible councilor of friendship.
I'm unsure which mistakes are deliberate so I'm just gonna go through the whole story.
Made up what?
*Chalklight
*Chalkstick Corner.
*They
Missing the chalk pun.
*of
5134458 sadly, they are not deliberate, and are the product of a little thing called "typing fast"
I shall fix
thank you!
Rumble was once again then molested at his visit to the psychologist, further reduceing his mental state.
Little did anyone know that as a result he alongside button mash would create the best horror games of all time: amnesia, silent hill, outlast, and five nights at freddys.
He would also become the mlp version of the joker.
The end.
5146426 >button mash
absolutely, cancerifically, and unequivocally horrifying
leave my sight
5146431
......What?
Im sorry but i have no idea what your trying to tell me......
But if its about button mash i can just edit the comment and delete the two words in it that offend you so.
5146439 man I'm just messing with you chill
5146446
..... Ok then...... Just diddint know whetjer i should be insulted or not, mabey im on drugs but you where being very vague on that last comment......
Whatevs im going to keep being a bad ass and posting what i think is sopposed to be funny comments on random storys.
I...
Just because I was in the mood to be baffled, and was expecting to be baffled...
I sought this out and I'm still confused, wondering what possible train of thought...
I can't words right now.
5131083
5130785
xd NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN sowas darf auf gar keinen Fall passieren, sonst wird noch jemand verletzt.
Translate that if you can.
5894996 "NO NO NO NO something may happen in no case anyone else gets hurt."
This is one of those times where I become deeply introspective as I wonder, "Why am I spending my time doing this?"
My only critique is that this story breaks my suspension of disbelief when Celestia erases the sun. This is physically impossible due to the obvious limitation of chalk va eraser. I would also assume her actions to be heretical given this society bigoted against erasers. In part this prose is a reflection into the human person. We all have a world around us which seems stable but can collapse at any moment as signified by the town and the erasers. In this world we repeat the same thing day after day as we, material beings, attempt to get high on material possessions just as the chalkfolk get high on chalk. The board on which the chalk sits was placed by Xenu. This surface, our world, has more dimensions than we exist in but not more than we can experience. You can make anything a metaphor for anything if you try hard enough which is represented by the mug containing the numbers 1, 2, and 3, the first numbers from which the universe was born. Truely this is a time to be alive.
This pleases me