Rumble hates Hearts and Hooves day. It's the most boring holiday ever, and does not deserve even a bit of the recognition and attention it gets. Why would you even like it? All you do is hang the paper cut outs (in form of hearts) everywhere and listen to boring lectures at school about the importance of love. How dull!
However, Rumble's opinion of this holiday is about to be turned upside down. For you see, he has never had a marefriend before, never even thought about getting one. He doesn't even consider dating. But he is about to experience just how difficult it can be when you try it yourself — and not just with anypony, no.
His (un)fortunate marefriend is none other than the princess.
100% approved by Celestia's Library!
[img]http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png[/img]
![http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png[/img]](http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png[/img]){kind=link}
This idea sounds awesome to say the least
Err... sorry man but give that he is a foal this is way to squicky for me, I'm going ot have to vote this one down
3771139 Are you serious right now? Have you even read it?
3771146
Actually yes I did. It is still very well written, and a lot better than a sizable number of fics on the site. It's just really can't get past the paring
3771163 Well, good job! You're the first user I've met on this site who downvotes stories because of their premise. Great fricking job.
I actually took time, put effort, didn't sleep at nights to write this fic, and then you come and downvote it because you do not like the premise. Oh my god, an underage foal cannot love Celestia, you see, because she's adult! And she cannot meet with him and have some fun (and when I say fun, I mean racing, shooting galleries and having some dinner together) because they do not match in age. IZ NOT POSSIBLE!
I hope you're proud of yourself.
3771163
You sir are a faggot
faggot
you're a fag
fag f
aggot fuck
dislike stories because you don't like the idea
i hate people like you you're a faggot
3771139 You should never dislike a story for the premise, just the quality of the writing. And as you said, it was well written.
You have brought shame upon yourself
3771218
I normally don't like when people resort to insults, but damn, I almost shat myself out of laughter when I read this comment and listened to Filthy Frank at the same time. Imagine it with his voice!
Really good setup and its well written, but the Celestias date part was pretty far fetched, and I didn't like it.
Also the "I hate Hearts and Hoves day because I am jealous of others" was pretty meh problem, with boring solution (the date part sucked). He could just not understand romance, be asexual, hate the buying of love for gifts part of the holiday, or something like that.
TL;DR Good job writing, but I did not like the ending.
Ok, I have some serious reservations about the plot of this story.
How old is Rumble? If he's a young foal like in the show, then having Celestia and him fall in love feels extremely farfetched. Even if she's going to develop feelings for him she also has the self-control to wait for him to be of the age of consent. If he's aged up to be more appropriate, then that should be clearer.
Love at first date is tough to sell because such instant attraction is very rare. Combining this with Rumble's undetermined but young age and the story just feels highly unrealistic. Especially because it does away with Celestia's normal motherly demeanor. If she had taken him out on a fake date to show him the ropes and teach a lesson about love, it might make sense, but having them fall for each other - especially with Rumble's initial reluctance - just doesn't work for me.
The characters periodically slip very out of character. Sweetie Belle uses the word "mayhap" which just sounds really weird coming from her. Celestia periodically breaks into faux old English - using archaic phrasing and words like 'thee' - which is really distracting since it is Luna who has done that. I'm not saying that Celestia can't, but such a thing deserves some explanation. Honestly, with Celestia using faux old English, I expected this story to be a dream sequence that Luna was overseeing in order to teach Rumble about the good things about love.
I would say some serious revision is in order to smooth out the hiccups in characterization and plot, to determine just what the story is supposed to be accomplishing, and to better link the setup with the ending.
I laughed at every word ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
You earned yourself Five out of Five Rainbow Dashs Laughing
hush. It was a fair down vote (I up voted btw). He read it first. If he down voted it without reading it you could yell at him. I can also see his point, the date was to teach a lesson to a school child and became a real romance. If they just became friends that would fine but for an older woman to say she loves a school child is not something everyone will enjoy. I saw it as still light hearted so I didn't mind
Ps also you should be able to dislike a story for the premise if you read it (or as far as you can go) I have read some stories where insest pops up. I will down vote these as it makes me feal uncomfortable even if well writen. Although to be fair to the authors I don't go seeking these out but I will often down vote it if I find myself reading it and it is a major point or highly visible.
3771799
Considering everypony in existence, even Granny Smith, is a foal compared to her, kinda hard for any relationship she could have not to be considered that
3771988 Yeah, but granny smith isn't a child, so I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be pedophilia.
3771819 3771806
I think the term "personal preference" as well as "autonomy" fits the bill with what you're saying here. People are just getting butthurt because others aren't liking the same things that they are, and are providing criticism and opinions that clash with their ideals/views.
3772024
Was making a joke more than being serious.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/060/f/5/princess_celestia_approved_by_ambris-d4rftlj.png
Approved for Celestia's Library.
3771736 No! Constructive critisizm, my only weakness!
3772201
Ok so time for some input.
1. I an see where a few people are oming from stating he is to young. The way i see it is he has to be around 12 to 13 MAYBE 14 becuase that is the age you would see males gettig attracted to females. So he is a few years to young so there is that.
2. Thats not a bad thing Look at Celestia she is an 1k+ year old immortal. to her everyone is young exept her sister and we arn't going that direction. She also sees everyone as being a small fragment of her total life. I can see her going out with rumble on the fact that he would last longer than say someone that is say 30 because again she would like to spend as much time as she could out of her life with him.
3. She enjoyed the time spent that above all else will set someone on the coarse of romance. Especially when all you have to deal with regularly is people Bowing a scraping to your every beck and call. Having someone show you a good time is a rare and wanted occurance. She would love this and thats what happened. It plain out stated it in the story.
4. Now a negative. I don't see them both straight up falling in love with each other right away. What i could se happening is her and him both enjoying this date and her wanting to continue hanging out with him and that over a few years 2 or 3 developing into a very heavy romance that would last for a VERY long time. This would cut those people saying he is to young to be going out because again if he is 13 or 14 by that time he would be 16 which ALOT of stories count as the legal age in Equestria.
overall did I like the story YES very much so but i would like to see the ending edited a bit to count out the love right away from celestia but would liike to see it go on as a deep friendship that blooms into something more.
3775405 I hear ya, mate. I'll do something concerning the ending.
This was surprisingly compelling. I went into it wondering how in the world this could be made to work, and found that it really did work quite well; you've built up some fun characters here.
I find myself wanting to see more stories from this universe.
Also, an idea this inspired, based on the initial conversation between the two, as an alternative to Celestia simply thinking of this to teach Rumble something (which oddly felt like the only really strange moment in the story):
Celestia has the same idea that Rumble needs to try going on a date to learn what it's like. She tells Rumble to take the time to ask one pony, just one, if they'd be willing to spend Hearts and Hooves day with him, just to give the day a proper chance before hating it. Rumble grudgingly agrees, despite not really wanting to go on a date. He thinks through the same list of fillies he considered in the story, but decides what he really wants is somepony who will turn him down, so he doesn't have to deal with Hearts and Hooves day after all. Rumble thinks for a moment about who would be the most likely to say no (perhaps with thoughts about the risk of asking Diamond Tiara and her saying yes), looks at Celestia, marvels at the absurdity of the idea, and proceeds to ask Celestia for a date. Celestia catches on immediately, laughing at the stunt he's trying to pull; after all, it seems like the kind of thing she would do in that situation. She thinks about it for a moment, and realizes that he's set up a situation where he can go right back to hating the holiday after all. She says as much to him, admiring his creative approach to outsmarting her proposed condition, and then points out that there's one thing he didn't account for in his plan: he assumed she'd say no. While his brain is flailing desperately trying to process that one, she gives the same "see you tomorrow at the fountain" parting line, and he promptly realizes what he's gotten himself into. Cue remainder of the story.
Just an outline (hence the lack of actual dialogue) for a bit of AU for this story; feels like a more natural way for this situation to arise, with it not being Celestia's idea at first, but with her being the one to dare to take that idea and run with it for the same reason she did in this story.
3775792 I might make some more stories in this universe, though, I'd rather write more stories starring Rumble now, since he's my bro, it seems.
That actually does sound like a better idea for that scene, but you have to understand - I was writing this one shot to relax my mind and concentrate on some cuteness. So, my logic was off at that moment.
3775826
It doesn't seem like a failure of logic, exactly; it's logical that Celestia might think to get Rumble out of his shell and out of hating the day by having him go on a date. It's purely that it doesn't seem like the very first idea she'd have would be for her to ask him on one; that's really the biggest suspension-of-disbelief moment in the story. Hence the notion of making the date Celestia's idea, it being with her Rumble's idea (and him never even considering the possibility of the date actually happening), and then the only out-there moment being Celestia choosing to go with it. That way, neither of them had the entire plan of a date between the two of them, which seems just a bit too far outside the realm of ordinary possibilities for either of them to have come up with right away.
MOAR< FOR THE LOVE OF
GODCELESTIA, MOAR!!!!cute enough to love
Finally had the time to read this!
.
The story had many funny moments and the ending had so much dawwww
It was just so cute!
That was so cute
And that how you make a new ship! RumbleXCelestia is the best ship!
So cute! I wonder if there would be sequel at some point with much older Rumble who shocks the world when Celestia announces that hes her royal boyfriend WOO.
So cute! I wonder if there would be sequel at some point with much older Rumble who shocks the world when Celestia announces that hes her royal boyfriend WOO.
I enjoyed this story very much. We'll done!
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbdr8bV7gK1rvs979o1_400.gif
Please make a sequel ! ! !
Please tell me your making / planning a sequel for this !? PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE
A SIMPLE YES OR NO WILL DO !
4003699
I have some ideas for a sequel. Can't guarantee it will come soon, though.
This is an awesome story. And I love it so. Just one question... WHERE IS CHAPTERS 2-????
LOL!!! But yeah I'd love to see a few more chapters of this... Its adorable...
3771192 Truth be told... I loved this story! And honestly! She is immortal! If I was Immortal and everyone known that I was! I would go after them when they was young to. Because I know that within a blink of an eye they would be gone... And I'd want to be with them for as long as I could.
I love this story... And I will ask... Even knowing other most likely asked before....
But can there be more? Maybe? If thats alright? I mean... Meep
4179498 There will be a sequel in the future. Of that, I am certian. Multichapter too
4181723
Wooooo!!!!
(\
4181723 Yes !!!
good to hear that youll continue this
Hello, 12 year old me!
Awwwww
Hope I'm not bothering or anything, but are you still planning on making the sequel ?
4181723
man its been 3 years. how time flies.
7552451 I'll do it, eventually. Atm I have 2 big fics in need of finishing and a novel in need of writing. Once that is out of the way, there shall be a sequel. Always wanted to try my hand at light-hearted romance/comedy