... go the toils.
Princess Twilight’s eyes burned into him. “You’re late.”
Flash Sentry fidgeted in his apron. “I met Princess Celestia—”
“You’re. Late.”
He snapped to attention, wing holding a box of soaps and cleaning solutions. “A-apologies, Your Highness.”
Twilight looked him over. “I was wrong, when we spoke earlier. There was somepony else that enjoyed this little game as much as you did.” She pulled out one of the three rags in his apron. “Oh, Celestia had such the laugh when she saw me in court. She said—”
“‘What did you get roped into this time?’” His mouth slammed shut at her death glare.
“First, yes. Second, I don’t—nor do I want to—understand why she chose to wear that thing and spare you from that little deal you cut.” Twilight threw the rag into his face. “But since you were the one who suggested it in the first place, you aren’t going to sit by while she does all the work.”
Flash grinned as he pulled the rag away. He shoved it back in his belt and looked at the doors behind Twilight. “That doesn’t sound so bad. I’ve seen the mountain of dishes the boys in the kitchen have to deal with.”
Twilight grinned as well, a look that sapped the relief he felt. “You don’t know these three like I do. I want my throne room spotless, and you’re going to make sure of that all on your—”
“Zecora’s! Now!”
The doors burst open, and the three fillies bolted out. Twilight yelped and jumped to the side.
Sweetie Belle cocked her head as she ran past. “Doesn’t Twilight have a copy—”
“Keep runnin’!” Apple Bloom commanded.
“But—”
“The library’s gone! She’s useless!”
Flash couldn’t believe his ears. “TOO SOON!” he called after the fillies. “What in Equestria got into them?”
Twilight chewed her lip and gazed after them.
“Hey.” Flash brushed her side with his free wing. “You okay?”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and nodded. “Yeah. It’s... fine. It was home, and now..." Twilight looked up at the crystal ceiling. "Now this is.” Her lips pulled into a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “They’re just kids, anyway. They didn’t know what they were—is that cake frosting?”
Flash blinked. “What?”
Twilight pointed to a smear of red on the floor. “That looks like cake frosting.”
He looked down and pointed at a spot of yellow. “That does too.” There was another spot nearby, and another, and another. A trail of cake frosting followed the Crusaders’—
“Hoof steps,” they said together. They looked into each others’ eyes.
He swallowed.
She nodded.
They turned towards the open doors.
The box fell from Flash’s wing. “You can’t be serious.”
“Did they run across the table?”
Plates and bowls were strewn across the table and floor. One of the tea cups lay shattered in a blue puddle, and the other two lay tipped over next to each other. Melting ice cream dripped from the tabletop to stain the golden circle in the center of the room, and spatters of ice cream dotted the starburst in its center like a gruesome ice cream crime scene. Flattened pieces of cake and crumpets led to the door, then faded to the scattered streaks of cake frosting they had seen in the hallway.
“I’ll... um, pull some more guards from the kitchen to help you.”
Silver Wind dumped a pail of water on the bridge. The water splashed and ran in rivulets down the slope, soaking into the stains left over from the barrage of pies. He sighed and pressed his hoof down on his sponge.
“Oh Silvy, that’s not how you’re supposed to do it!”
He looked at the pink pony over his shoulder. “Why are you still here?”
“I’m helping, silly! WHEEEEEE!” Pinkie Pie launched herself forward and slid down the bridge on all fours, a soapy sponge strapped to each hoof. She hit the bottom and beamed up at him. “See? Who said cleaning up had to be boring?”
The guards sweeping up pie crusts and dancing around swarms of ants glared at her from behind.
Silver Wind blinked slowly. “Are you even familiar with the concept of punishment?”
Pinkie blew a raspberry. “Punishment, shmunishment. I launched the pies, and now I’m helping you clean them up! Cleaning up after yourself is all part of the Official Party Pony Credo!”
He shook his head. “I can’t tell if you’re serious or not.”
“Of course I’m serious! You can’t have an Official Party Pony Credo if it isn’t official, or if no party pony follows it! Failure to follow standard regulations results in removal of the party pony from the Official Party Pony Party Planners of Equestria.” Pinkie snapped her hooves together and nodded. “Standard regulations!”
Silver Wind snagged the bucket with a hoof and flew over the railing. “Now you’re just mocking me.”
Pinkie looked horrified. “Am not!”
“Yes, you are.” He hovered over the creek and filled the bucket, flying back up when it was done. “There is no such organization as the Official Party Pony Party Planners of Equestria.”
She trotted back up the bridge to follow him. “Is too!”
“I was stationed at the Burro’s Bureau of Bureaucracy in Canterlot for five years. I know every official organization if Equestria, and there is no—”
“Well Cheese Sandwich and I just started it a few months ago, so HA!”
“And just how many ponies are in this organization of yours?”
“Two!”
He rolled his eyes. “Impressive.”
She stared and tilted her head. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
“I’ll just have to do better next time, won’t I?” he said, dumping the bucket down the other slope.
“GANGWAY!”
Silver Wind turned and saw his—the Royal—Guards jump aside. He watched the Cutie Mark Crusaders gallop past. “Well... at least they understand the value of exercise after a large meal.”
“Snrk!”
He looked at Pinkie. “What?”
She slid down the bridge again, grinning at him the whole way. “You did it! You did better!”
Silver Wind snorted and looked off to Canterlot in the distance. “Maybe I’ll ask after your little organization at the Burro’s Bureau when the debriefing is over tomorrow. I have a feeling I’ll need a hobby sooner than later.”
“Ohhh, don’t tease me like that, Silvy. You won’t have time for our little group with all the Royal Guards you’ll be captaining.”
He nodded. “There lies the problem. All the princesses are here. All the guards are here. I’m here. The ceremony doesn’t begin for few more hours, and yet the debriefing is delayed until we all get back to Canterlot. That doesn’t happen unless a notable decision is coming.”
Pinkie gasped... and gasped... and kept gasping. “You’re getting promoted!”
Silver Wind smirked and looked away.
“You smiled!”
“Pardon?”
“You finally smiled! You know what this calls for?” Pinkie Pie reached behind her and pulled out a cannon. “A PARTY!”
“Wait, don't—!” He barely had time to brace himself before—
BOOM!
He closed his eyes as the blast of streamers and confetti buffeted him. Silver Wind slapped the colorful papers off his face with a hoof, and snapped his eyes open to glare at her.
Pinkie Pie slumped over her cannon. “Awww, you’re not smiling anymore.”
He looked at the soaking mess behind him. “Can’t imagine why...“
Scootaloo pulled even with Apple Bloom. “How much longer?!”
Overnight change when Applejack and her friends touched it. Almost instant change when Big Mac drank his dose—accidentally. But that was crushed leaves mixed with water. This was tea with cinnamon and honey and who knew what else. Apple Bloom was left with one articulate conclusion based on her judgement of the chemical dilution and the rapid delivery of the digestive system.
“I don’t know!”
The Crusaders tore through the entrance of the Everfree Forest. They swerved around the patch of poison joke, slid down the hill, and ducked under the moss and vines hanging overhead. Apple Bloom grinned in spite of the stitch in her side as the light from Zecora’s windows grew closer.
Until she saw the mask over her door.
“Finally!” Scootaloo pushed ahead.
“Scoot, wait!”
BAM!
Scootaloo crashed into the door and bounced back. She hit the ground and rolled, toppling over Apple Bloom. “What... just happened?”
Apple Bloom swatted Scootaloo with her tail. “I told you to wait! She ain’t home!”
“But... but the mask! That’s the ‘Welcome’ one, isn’t it?”
“No that’s the green one with red stripes. This one’s red with blue stripes.”
Scootaloo groaned. “So what does that mean?”
Apple Bloom gulped. “‘Back in five minutes.’”
“We don’t have five minutes!”
Sweetie Belle gasped. “Apple Bloom!”
“What is it?”
“No, inside! Apple Bloom!” Sweetie stood on a tree root jutting out below a window and pointed inside. “There’s a pot with your name on it.”
Apple Bloom jumped up and joined her. She saw Zecora’s biggest cauldron sitting inside, steam rising from the water inside, and a piece of parchment with her name on it was taped to the side.
Scootaloo pushed her way into the crowd. “Is that what I think it is?”
“One way to find out.” Apple Bloom dove through the window and reared up, putting her front hooves on the rim of the cauldron. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, not far behind, joined her in looking over the edge. It was hot, but not boiling. Tempting a scalded hoof, Apple Bloom reached down to test the water. "Not too hot, maybe a little much to be comfortable, but just right for the brew bath." She leaned in and sniffed. “It is! It’s the same scent!”
Scootaloo cheered and hopped in. “We made it, girls!”
Sweetie Belle pulled herself up and eased herself in. “Oh, this feels good. Thank goodness for Zecora, huh?”
Apple Bloom looked at the parchment again. “How did she even know?” Orange forelegs wrapped around her neck.
“In! Now!” Scootaloo dragged her into the water.
“Argh! Get off! Get off!” She struggled against Scootaloo’s grip. “I’m in already! Let go!” She pried off Scootaloo’s hooves and sank into the warm water, rubbing her sore neck. “C’mon, Scoot. I was just going to check—”
“To my gracious hosts,” Sweetie Belle said. The parchment hovered in front of her, flipped over so Apple Bloom’s name was facing outward. “I hope you enjoyed your stroll through the woods. Zecora and I—”
Scootaloo snatched the note and looked at the quillwork. “Luna.” She ripped it in half and spat the pieces over the edge of the cauldron. Her eyes darted around the hut. “So. Here we are. Potions and weird flowers everywhere. What are we going to do about this?”
“Nothing,” Sweetie Belle said. “She’ll be expecting it now.”
Apple Bloom nodded. “When the time is right, Scoot.” She leaned her head back and looked up to the ceiling. “When the time is right.”
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Foolish CMC, you should know that there is no escape from... the Moonbutt!
This made me giggle while editing it. Darn you for being so funny! I had to buckle down on the giggles. Still funny a third time around with giggle-buckles disengaged.
So will there be a sequel for the inevitable prank war 'twixt CMC and Luna?
Well, that was a fun if unexpected additional chapter.
5028161
A sequel would go that direction, yes.
5028163
5028127
Glad to hear it.
5028125
But can the moonbutt escape from the CMC...
Probably.
And here I thought this masterpiece of side pulling laughs was complete and then this happens?! All glory to the author.
hilarious. a delicious little ending there. old moonbutt pulled a double on them didn't she?
makes sense. i do not actually think she Would have poisoned them for real, not unless there was a cure for them nearby. and i do not have much pitty for old silvy though. fool dug his own grave, he did.
though pinkie pie......... only pinkie pie has that much goodness in her heart to actually try to comfort a jackass like that.
I honestly expect the CMC to win a prank war.....and somehow destroy parts of the castle in the process.
5028169 would say take you time creating a sequel. this was completely awesome in so many ways. it needs a story worthy of a follow up.
5028200 using cake batter and tree sap.
And excellent finale to a well-crafted story. I'm glad you didn't go overboard with their respective punishments, and the bit with Flash and Twilight was really cute.
Man.
Luna can really hold a grudge. I wonder what she's going to do to Twilight?
Well with the chaos caused by a prank war between the CMC and Luna would Celestia and Discord be able to stay out of it? Not to mention Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash...
5028205
The tree sap is inevitable, its only a question of WHEN it comes.
5028214
Yes. The honor of the prank war must be preserved.
5028178
Please don't bring the wrath of Hypno-Toad down on me.
5028208
Thanks!
5028205
5028238
Hmm... the tree sap could be how they climb the castle walls...
5028214 the answer to that is no, not at all
Woohoo! Bonus content!
Thanx for extending this fun little story.
5014497
To be fair, I think her hiding in a potted plant was all in Twilight's mind.
Also, I've seen The Blue Man Group use streamer launchers that, with some special ordinance, could be adapted to being party cannons.
On another note, she couldn't control the clones so... eh. that's more a swarm more than an army.
A.G.
5028515
Pinkie Rush! For the swarm!
5028534 ... that is the most epic idea for a starcraft mod I've ever heard. o.O
A.G.
You know, the more I see them, the more I start to possibly like Flash Sentry and Twilight together.
Also, I'd love to see a sequel starring CMC in a prank war against Luna.
5028161 5028200 5028649 The Great Equestrian Prank War will end with at least three new alicorns
5028708 Those three as alicorns...
*shudders* God forbid...
So glad to see an author capture Pinkie so perfectly. Thank you for that.
this is a promise of good things to come.
Anyone else getting the feeling that maybe that WASN'T really poison joke in the tea? Also makes you wonder what else is in that cauldron they're bathing in....
5028711
5028708
Hmm... who said it had to be those three...?
5028732
Thank you. This was probably the most page time I've given her. Good to know I got it right.
5028735
And thus the Sundering began.
What? You KNOW those three are going to rupture the Well of Eternity when they summon Sargeras.
oh gerd...THEY NEED TO GET OUT OF THAT POTION.
my RPG'er senses are tingling and that could mean any number of bad things...........
*Monstrous Squee* OMC! To arms! Or would that be "To hooves!"? Now I'm excited to see the CMC work out their revenge against Luna. Let the pranks begin
.
5029557
Bad things? Or awesomely amazing things? Just as long as the CMC make sure to read the game guide, and level up before facing off against the Princesses / Luna.
5029662
Nah, it would still be "to arms".
Arms, in the term you are thinking of, are human appendages.
Arms in the term that is used in "to arms" is meant as 'to armaments', and armaments are a collective categorization of weaponry owned and directed by an official organization or government.
The More You Know!
5028788
Spike, Iron Will, and Gustavo the Gryphon are best Alicorns.
5029792
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMTAvMTUvMThfMjRfNDlfMjM2XzEyMzYzNl9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcmFpbmJvd19kYXNoX3JlYWN0aW9uX2ltYWdlX3RoZV9tb3JlX3lvdV9rbm93Il1d/123636__safe_rainbow-dash_reaction-image_the-more-you-know.png
Then yes, "To arms!"
I have to echo the complements about Pinkie, she was very well written all fic long.
5030152
Considering it was Pinkie who suggested he was getting promoted, don't take it too seriously.
5030273
Thank you.
5030587 he is being promoted as head maid of the castle tree.
The CMC's are essentially forces of nature when they want to be, so when the time comes, as all forces of nature do, Princess Luna won't be expecting it. And it will be glorious. I just hope Canterlot and the Nobility survive it. Because I can just see those three overthrowing the Princess's as a prank...
CMC Crusaders Revolutionaries! Yay!
5029820
I should make a list of all the people who have sent that image to me.
5035648
*falls over laughing*
. It's a good image XD.
5033187
Please refer to you picture for my response.
5065882
Of course! Can't make the dragon work on his birthday!
5070967
5071180
Glad you enjoyed it!
That was fun. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
5083168 Thanks!
What a fun story. Good job. I guess Twilight learned why 'military intelligence' is considered an oxymoron.
5158055
You could say that. Thanks for reading.
This was a wonderful read.
5029557
Didn't even bother to make a secondary perception check...
5201880 Thanks!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/299/265/3bd.jpg