Rise from the Ashes: Book 1 - Canterlot

by Sparklecat

A Bargain

In a room not in the Canterlot castle, both Applejack and Rarity were having a serious discussion that had been going on for a while. “I cannot believe you darling, this is so unlike you! You tried to set those criminals free!” she scolded a bit, but Applejack didn’t flinch. “I know about your family and how Lightning cared for her cousin, but this is just absurd!” she went on giving her a look with her scratched eye. “You’re the Element of Honesty for crying out loud! Yet you lied when they asked you what happened!” she went on before Applejack cut her off.

“Ya’ll listen here! Ah just didn’t say ah was lettin’ ‘em go, not lying.” Applejack said with a glare.

“It is still perjury either way dear! Give me a reason not to-!” Rarity went on before stopping and seeing Flicker Blitz running through the hall outside, and the guards taking both Firebelt and Scorchhop right behind them. She couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at this. “Dear, let us discuss this later.” she said to her friend. Applejack nodded in agreement before they both went on to following the group. As the two mares followed the group, they saw them before Princess Luna in her throne.

Flicker Blitz nervously cleared her throat before speaking up. “My princess, we have to a conclusion by blood Firebelt and the creature are not related in any case. However, we can theorize that the creature and Firebelt are related through a forgotten part of his personality.” she went on, Luna looked interested as she explained. “We cannot be sure, but we believe that there might be more of these creatures out there… considering how Sol is back and if he created these creatures.” she finished up.

“Hmmm...I see, but what I was interested in was this so called ‘breakthrough’ you had shouted down the halls.” Luna said with a stern look. Flicker Blitz blinked and slowly in embarrassment, not realizing she was that loud.

“Mmm... yes. Firebelt brought up the Cryer Bells in a flawed theory, but then I was thinking what if that could be possible to wake up the Tree of Harmony?” she said with a nervous smile. “So… there are about six Cryer Bells in total, with one in each kingdom... with your permission I believe we could make a band of soldiers to...ring each of the Cryer Bells?” she finished, while shaking a bit. But when she looked up Luna seemed interested.

“An interesting theory my apprentice… but do you think it will work?” Luna said with a look, testing if she had confidence in her own theory.

“It’s our only shot at this, but I believe this will work.” Flicker Blitz said and nodded in response.

Luna stood up from her throne. “I see... and what party may you take in order to fulfill this task?” she asked as she stepped towards the party.

Flicker Blitz gave a look at Firebelt and Scorchhop, “Well... erm... you may not like to hear this, but I believe these two here, plus Firebelt’s cousin may be some of the best options we’ve got in this quest.” she said nervously, but Luna had a look that she would most definitely disagree with her. “Now listen Luna, these two are quite skilled and have outran your guards for years. Lightning also stood out among the guards and secretly helped Firebelt out more than you would think without anypony giving her a thought she could be behind it! They alone might not get it done, but if I and an element were to go with them we have a chance of succeeding!” she encouraged nervously as Luna approached them. Applejack and Rarity continued to watch from behind them, as perplexed about Luna’s decision as they were.

Luna didn’t like to admit it, but what Flicker Blitz said was true about the two thieves and Lightning. “While I do not fully trust the three, I can at least put faith in their skills and your credibility. These three may go with you to serve as helpers, but in return they must never steal any objects or commit any crime ever again. They break this code even once you have the right to send them to death’s row.” she spoke up with a stern look. “Rainbow Dash is busy with teaching the Canterlot Flying Squadron and has a wing that could break if hit too hard, while Rarity has lost one of her eyes. The best one in condition is Applejack, so she shall accompany you in this.” she spoke up in a steady gaze. Applejack blinked at this, as she wasn’t necessarily expecting to go on such an important task.

“How bothersome…” Rarity mumbled and sighed, knowing losing an eye guarantees a blind spot so she could see why Applejack would be the only fit one out of the three elements remaining.

“Your group shall leave in three days, prepare as much as you can.” Luna said as she trotted off down the halls. Flicker Blitz couldn’t help but feel joy in her body, knowing this could not only be the chance to resurrect the Elements of Harmony but even bring the kingdoms back together.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Flicker Blitz thought in her head with a big smile on her face. Firebelt and Scorchhop were happy too, knowing not only do they not have to die but they can also redeem themselves.

Rarity in the back shook her head, “Well Applejack darling, it seems you get your wish.” she said giving her a calm look. “But now it seems you are on an adventure of sorts. Shall I prepare some proper armor of the sorts for the lot of you?” she said now concerned.

“Ah would suppose that would be necessary. But less fancy and more durable may help here.” Applejack said looking back at Firebelt before the two of them went off while the rest of the group went to get Lightning.

-- THREE DAYS LATER--

Firebelt, Scorchhop, and Lightning were waiting for the others to arrive down near the front of Canterlot. Each one of them had their own armor which were hoofmade by Rarity; Lightning had her royal equestrian armor with a blue and gold color scheme, while Firebelt and Scorchhop had their own lightweight armor with a combined steel and leather for less movement restriction. Firebelt was given back his weapon, a blade-like dagger with a chain in between the blade and handle to whip around it like a flail. Lightning was given back her large spear, which was about 5 feet long with a blade tip about 1 foot long. Scorchhop was first without a weapon, so she was given two sais that slide into her armor’s sleeves for a concealed blade. “So Flicker Blitz and Applejack were supposed to meet us up here so we can ring the first bell here in Canterlot?” Firebelt asked with curiosity.

“Yes they were, but I cannot believe they actually said we could help out with such a grand quest!” Lightning said in both happiness and confusion. She then perked her ears up as they saw Applejack and Flicker Blitz approaching them. Applejack was wearing royal equestrian armor with an orange and red color scheme, while Flicker Blitz was wearing the same equestrian armor as Lightning only wearing her hood still and has a bag filled with maps along with the three elements.

“Ya’ll remember, absolutely no funny business! If ya do something wrong you’ve lost yer chance.” Applejack said with a fierce glare towards the three. Firebelt couldn’t help but notice she was giving him a firm glare out of the three, though he did understand since he was the usual pain in the neck out of the three.

“Great I’m on the Element of Honesty’s bad side.” Firebelt thought irritated. “So anyways...where is the first Cryer Bell suppose to be here?” he asked Flicker Blitz as she pulled out a large map with her magic.

“It says the first Cryer Bell is supposed to be at the catacombs below Canterlot.” Flicker Blitz said as she carefully examined the map.

“Catacombs? Those exist here?” Scorchhop asked raising an eyebrow.

Applejack nodded, “Each kingdom has ‘em since each of der own had a great lost in the Equestria War. They had to make catacombs for a burial, and out of respect they made them around the Cryer Bells.” she said with a sigh. “But now ain’t the time for moaning, let’s ring that bell!” she said triumphantly as she and Flicker Blitz went off into the city. Firebelt shrugged and followed after the two with Lightning and Scorchhop behind them.

After about a fifteen minute walk they arrive at two large doors with a lock and chains on the front of it. Flicker Blitz used a key to insert it into a lock and the chains fell apart as it unlocked. “Each catacombs have chains and a key on it, usually protected by the leader of the kingdom. It is a highly sacred place, to which is why it is so heavily covered.” she explained as she moved them aside and opened the doors. They moved into the catacombs, and the entrance was already unnerving as it was covered in webs and old bricks. “Ngh…creepy.” Firebelt said as he observed the walls.

Upon entry the webbing and the bricks were still in the same pattern as the entrance, but in the walls there were openings about ten on each wall with a door sealed on them. Lightning couldn’t help but shiver upon the sight of this knowing each one of them contained a body of a soldier, or a medic, or any pony that died in the terrible war. “Poor fellas…gotta be hundreds of them.” she thought out loud.

“Try millions, there are about a hundred corridors here. The only way you can guide yourself through these is with a map each leader carries.” Flicker Blitz said using magic to look at a different map rather than the one she was carrying beforehand.

“Erm...where did you get all the-” Firebelt was about to ask before Flicker Bliz cut in.

“Maps? I’ve got some of these that Twilight Sparkle discarded, and others that I’ve made myself.” she answered as she took a few more corners and halls before looking up. “We’re here.”

The others look and saw a chamber that was about twenty feet in both length and width, the walls strangely look more strong than the ones before and were covered in the what appeared to be the doors they saw before which contained bodies. In the center was a giant bell in the center of the room, which was dangling from a gudgeon and a stay made from brass. The bell alone looked like it was made from stone and was cracked all around. “It may appear as stone but it’s made from the toughest diamonds...or obsidian...or other stuff…” Applejack said with a small sweat, forgetting what the bells were made of.

“Now isn’t the time to be studying the geology of the Cryer Bells Applejack.” Firebelt said with a smirk. “Let’s ring this puppy!” he spoke out. Before looking at the bell around it, “Erm...where is the lever that usually rings the bell?” he asked.

Flicker Blitz observed the room, “There is a secret switch that rings the bell, since it is a tune that few ever hear.” she said before seeing Firebelt forcibly trying to push the bell to get it to ring. She just shook her head as she walked over to a random part of the catacombs and pressed in a block. They watched the giant bell swing with one mighty push...with Firebelt still holding on to it.

“Waaaagh!” Firebelt shouted as it swung. Lightning just facehoof’d and just groaned in irritation. As the bell swung again it let off a large “DONG”...and that was it. Firebelt blinked and fell down from the bell. “Wait...that’s it?” he spoke up and fell off the bell, rolling back to the group.

“The bell only rings once mystically, when all of them have ringed the Tree of Harmony will wake up.” Flicker Blitz explained, while helping Firebelt up with her magic and standing him on his hooves. “Now let’s make our way back to Luna, and tell her we’re ready to move out to our next kingdom.” she said as she picked out her map again and started trotting back.

“Wait, to where?” Firebelt asked intently.

“Kasaitatki, land of the deer.” Flicker Blitz.

An hour later, the group was meeting up with both Princess Luna and Rarity in front of the gates of Canterlot. Rarity gave a bag to Applejack, “Here you go darlings. Food and healing potions to help you out in your little quest.” Rarity said politely and smiled. “Eat only when you’re hungry and those potions there are limited. Also those armor pieces I made look FABULOUS on you two.” she also said looking at Firebelt and Scorchhop. “Now I highly recommend you don’t go breaking them!” she said with a grin that did seem somewhat threatening since she held clothings that she made so dear.

“Eh...hehe…” Firebelt chuckled nervously, thinking what punishment Rarity would have in store if they even scratched the armor.

Luna stepped forward, “I hope you are all ready for this grand task.” she said boldly. The group knelled before Luna as she looked at them, “If what Flicker Blitz says is true, we may finally have peace with all the kingdoms once more. At nonetheless, you must stop Sol for his scheme to destroy the Elements of Harmony. So you must get to them before he does!” she shouted loudly. When she looked again, the group was against the floor. Luna let off a sigh, “I used the equestrian voice again didn’t I?”

“Yes, yes you did dear.” Rarity answered.

As the group got up a bit shaken, Luna got back in focus. “Now then…” she said and stopped as the large gates and the sun drew over the skies on the group. “...I give you the best of hope in your quest, and in hope you succeed.” she added on as she and Rarity gave a bow in return.

Flicker Blitz beamed as they started walking out the gates, “I will not fail you Luna!” she shouted as they left.

“We’re gonna succeed no matter what!” Firebelt shouted out with a grin as he left too with Lightning and Scorchhop.

“Ah’ll be back faster than you can say apple!” Applejack grinned and raced off with the rest.

Luna smiled as the group went off, the gates slowly closed behind the leaving group. She knew that the kingdom’s fate depended on their success, and she had full confidence they could pull it off.

Author's Note:

I'm not the greatest in grammar, if you pick out any errors in this chapter please point them out to me! Thank you. :)

Comments

[Sea_Swirl]

AWESOME!

[Sturleght Glommar]

LOVE IT

[Sparklecat]

5128489
Glad you do!

[Cheesey Microwave]

Will try to do a review of this. Later.
Looks quite promising, though!

[Sparklecat]

5394759 Thank you! I do hope that you will enjoy this.

[Sparklecat]

5397450 Holy wall of text. XD I definitely admit... grammar is not my strong suit at all. I highly thank you for fixing up the grammar.

Hm, I see. Though you seemed to have more time picking at the grammar then more at the story. Not saying that's bad I need to have a proofreader but I just want to hear a bit more about the story as well.

As for that Great Antler guy, there is going to be a background behind him but rather it's not going to come up until the next book which feature's his kingdom. The same will go for all of the other rulers as well. I hope I didn't unintentionally make a gary sue though.

Also, thank you so much the story sounds so much better with your corrections!

One other thing though, you think you could send the grammar fixing errors by message and rather do the story critiquing by comments? It's just so it won't take as much space up as your previous comment and won't get in the way of any other comments.

[Sparklecat]

5463883 He definitely does.

[PaulAsaran]

You can expect to see a review form me this coming Monday, but the gist of it is that while you have some good ideas you don't seem to have a way to properly convey them. I'll tell you now precisely what I told you before: practice. Practice, practice and practice some more. Write short stories, not sweeping epics. Save those for when you feel more confident in yourself. More importantly, look for critical reviewers who won't sugarcoat their views.

You can check The Writer's Group for a plethora of conversations about writing methods and debate. You can find good critical reviews from:

Twilight's Library and The Equestrian Critics Society and The Pleasant Commentator and Review Group – You can't submit stories except when they open the submission folders (which isn't often and doesn't last long due to high demand), but you can always check their many links to other writing technique and help groups.

If you're really well protected from criticism, you might try The Writers and Reviewers Institute for Technical Excellence, or W.R.I.T.E. These people are hardcore and pull no punches. If there's something wrong with your story in any way, they will make it absolutely clear. Don't go to them unless you're prepared to feel the burn.

Alternatively, you can look around for beginner's writer groups. There's a significant number of them that are devoted to helping new writers refine their craft, and may be just right for you.

I wish you luck in your future writing endeavors!

[PaulAsaran]

You can has review.