A dare's a dare. A total stranger dared me to write this. And I accepted.
On one lazy morning, our friend and heroine Rainbow Dash is woken up by one of her dearest friends.
It's not just a friendly visit though. It's a special occasion.
An occasion special enough to change two lives, maybe even more.
This doesn't even go in my own headcanon, so don't expect too much out of it.
Then again, this total stranger told me it was good enough to maybe try and publish it. So here you go.
Enjoy.
Chapters (1)
You need a comma between morning and Dashie.
Don't need the comma here.
The two is a bit extraneous. Generally speaking, we know someone/pony has two eyes; if it's not the case, it's something worth mentioning.
You only need a comma after an and if there's another and somewhere in the sentence.
Getting might be a better word, there. Also, closing speech mark missing.
Don't really need the at it part.
Nitpick, but most default to pony anatomy: i.e. hoof-made.
Day needs a capital.
Somepony.
Nothing wrong with it. It was just too adorable to let pass without a mention.
Extraneous comma, again.
Cute story. Sweet, lovely, and a nice job of capturing the characters. With a little of editing, it could be really good.
I got butterfly's in my tummy after reading this.probly shouldn't have eaten all those catapillers last month. Have a up vote
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Why, thank you!
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It's all those little details where I make mistakes, yes. Thanks for pointing them out for me.
As for the "too much commas" part, I do a lot of commas. I basically try out what the sentence sounds like before writing, and when I hear a comma, I write a comma. So yes, oxford commas happen. I don't mind that.
Same issue with Pinkie saying "Good morning Dashie" without a comma. I don't feel she'd say a comma there. If that line came from Twilight or Rarity, I probably would've put a comma there.
Still, I'll try my best to edit those mistakes out.
EDIT: There, I fixed it. Thanks again for pointing the mistakes out.
That was so cute
awww
This is why I love PinkieDash so much.
They just work so well together, and its adorable
While I'm a SoarinDash shipper at heart, I'll admit this was pretty adorable.