Anti-Aging Spell

A dark and lonely night in the Canterlot archives is broken open when Twilight breaks in and roots through scroll after scroll, struggling to find a way to cheat death.

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Comments ( 8 )

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dawn seeker

dawn seeker #1 · Aug 27th, 2014 · · ·

the ending was a bit cheesy but over all good writing. it does need a bit more original content but that's just my opinion feel free to accept my advice or deny it i won't be offended

silvadel

silvadel #2 · Aug 27th, 2014 · · ·

If Twilight wants to never lose her friends, what she should have done was "encourage" at least one of them to ascend with her. That means putting said pony into situations where she can grow beyond the limits of a single pony life.

Awesomo3000

Awesomo3000 #3 · Aug 27th, 2014 · · ·

Wow. I wonder if they'll bring up this situation in Season 5?

xSorrow

xSorrow #4 · Aug 28th, 2014 · · ·

4911738 This was just kind of an idea I had that I decided to act on. Personally, I like the headcanon that says Twilight is an artificial alicorn, so she'll have the same lifespan as her friends.

And all criticisms (good, bad, or in-between), are always welcomed

niceguy89999

niceguy89999 #5 · Aug 31st, 2014 · · ·

This story was amazing. I really loved how you displayed twilight's emotions and her feeling's about her friends. I LOVE the ending of the story too. It felt almost like a cliffhanger, at least in my opinion. I feel like you can make a sequel to this story. I wanna know how Twilight reacted to applejack death. What did she do? Did she go to Celestia for help? I feel you can make a great sequel from this story.
Now for things you could of done more of.
1. You could of explained more of Twilight's friends condition. All you really said was applejack was very old. You could of explained how Twilight's friends are. For example, Fluttershy was suffering from a rare disease she caught from one of her pets, and was suspected to live for a few weeks. The non ageing spell could of stopped the disease from causing any more damage.
2. Celestia's relationship with Starswell the bearded. I wanted to know more about how celistia felt about Starswell. You did great with twilight. Know you just need to do the same thing with celestia.
Other than that it was pretty good. I felt sorry for twilight's current situation.
Suggestions.
Just be more detailed on the pony's realtionship with other pony's. How the pony's are doing and you story could become that much better.

I shall rate this story out of 10
This story is a 8/10 or 4 stars
Thanks for reading and hope my suggestions help.

Raichu