But Celestia, the Skeleton is real and it's inside of you. Luna's words echoed through Celestia's mind as the white Alicorn searched through ancient tomes. If the Skeleton had managed to implant itself within her she would need to act fast. There was no telling how long she would have left before it emerged from her and began its onslaught of death and destruction.
"Come on" Celestia muttered to herself as she grabbed book after book rapidly flipping through their pages before tossing it away satisfied that they contained no useful knowledge. She could faintly recall an old legend passed down thousands of years ago that if you killed the lead Skeleton all of its skeletal minions would perish too or possibly that was a legend on how to deal with expired cans of beans. Either way she knew one fact, only a Skeleton could harm another Skeleton this Luna had promised her.
After several more minutes of Scottish Book tossing Celestia finally reached the bottom of her book pile and was greeted with the presence of a rather ragged looking tomb coated in dust. With a careful wipe of her hoof she removed a portion of the thick layer of dust revealing the title.
"Spooks of Equestria" Celestia read the title aloud "Written by Starswirl the bearded, Co-written by Princess Celestia." Co-author Celestia mentally scoffed as she repeated her title. She had been sent into all the Spooky scenarios to gather research, the ghost filled basement of Star Swirl’s lab. The old forgotten lair of the Demon King and even the Stallion's restroom at Joe's Donutshop.
The white Alicorn shuttered as she relived some of her worst memories before she carefully opened the book and started flipping through it pages, stopping when she finally found her section.
"Emergency Summon Spell" Celestia whispered as she looked at her salvation. Starswirl and herself had realized that one day they may encounter something they couldn't confront themselves. So they poured a portion of their very essence into a spell capable of summon a creature that could fight their battle for them. "Draw circular rune in blood" Celestia read the first step aloud to herself. "Meh, I'm sure red chalk will work" she muttered as she jotted red chalk down on her list of required items. "Place offering of flesh inside rune" Celestia went silent as she glared around the room, silently hoping nobody was around to her the quite jacked up spell her and Starswirl had created.
"Finally" she began to speak "Chant the name of the creature you wish to defeat. Warning: Do not use spell in the event of Skeletal based creatures" Celestia read the last few words and placed a hoof to her mouth "Ehh, that's probably more a recommendation than a warning."
Ten minutes later Celestia had all the necessary items required for her ritual. The runes had been drawn in blue chalk apparently Discord had called dibs on the good red and Celestia didn't want to use that one gross red that got mixed with all the other colors. Within the runes sat an offering of one and a half snicker bars. The other half had been tragically lost when the Skeleton within her had taken control and devoured it; better it than an innocent pony she reminded herself.
All that remained for the white Alicorn was to chant say some gibberish she wrote down several hundred years ago. Then shout Skeleton a couple times, then her hero would there to defeat the evil Skeleton King and the Skeleton within her would be destroyed and she would be free of its evil desire to devour sweets and ponies alike.
After several seconds of reviewing the original spell, she eventually decided that she did not remember the proper pronunciations for the several dead languages Starswirl and her had used when creating the spell. Opting instead to do it her way rather than risk summing a Skeleton Language into her world.
"Skeleton! Skeleton! Beetlejuice!" Celestia shouted and was instantly blown across the room as her rune and offering exploded in a flash of flames and blinding light. The last thing Celestia saw before passing out was the faint outline of a figure rising within the smoke.
Celestia groaned as she opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling of the library. Judging by the lack of sunlight she had been out a rather long time. Either Luna managed to lower the sun or the Skeletons had already claimed it as theirs turning it into a skeleton sun.
"As a child I broke my arm" spoke an unfamiliar voice causing Celestia to clamber to her hooves and search the room.
"I told my parents I was fine, but they insisted we go to the hospital." the voice continued to speak as Celestia tried to hone in on its source eventually finding the owner of the voice sitting at the epicenter of the runes explosion.
"There I was exposed to X-rays, these rays reveled that I was an abomination, part man, part Skeleton. My parents dumped me off in the woods that night ashamed of my very existence.
"Hello?" Celestia asked nervously as she walked towards the creature. Carefully making sure not to step on any pieces of smoldering books or trip over fallen rocks.
"They expected me and my Skeleton-ness to die in those woods, but I adapted. I used my Skeleton strength to hunt and my Skeleton eyes to find my way through the forest." the creature continued to speak, showing no signs of noticing that Celestia was now inches away from it.
"I fought my way back to the city and there I began to use my dark shame to fight the evil of the worlds. You see, there are evil creatures around the world, there are others part Skeleton, part Man. However they use this curse for evil. I however chose a different path; I fight the evil forces of Skeletons with their own powers, for I am... Skeleton-Man" the creature shouted as it stood up revealing its full naked glory.
Celestia threw up just before passing out once again.
derpicdn.net/img/2012/12/18/186771/thumb.jpeg
4895229
It was either Skeleton-Man or GiantDad
But I didn't think the Legend would help Celestia, seemed like someone who would put points into Dex.
oo-ooh, Skin Man, villain in disguise~
4895253
There's always the manly miner men.
4895284
My other option was the pond drinkers.
Drink the pond
THE HERO WE NEED, BUT DON'T DESERVE
4895415
what about havelmom
she could have deadangled the skeleton out of celestia
This story is a bit freaky.
I mean... could there be a skeleton inside all of us right now?
4895494
Don't talk like that, a Skeleton is a serious threat to everyone. If you or someone you know has a Skeleton within them there is only one treatment.
We must remove the skeleton before complete spookification can occur.
4895474
You can only remove the entire Skeleton through the anus
4895506 b-but skeletons are just a myth
right?
4895515
A myth used by those who fear the glorious X-rays.
Do not fear, the X-rays keep us safe.
4895529 but they give you cancer and kill your sperm
your fics are so much win. Have a follow
FUND IT
4895576
A myth created by the Skeleton Worshipers
INB4 HALLOWEEN 2SPOOKY4ME
4895506 Skeletons, bah. You know what's scary?
Well do you?
Teenagers, now those are something to be afraid of. *Shudders*
I cannot wait for Luna to use her magic to locate the summon sign for Black Whine Tarkus'
… maybe Shining Armour and Blueblood fused into Skin Man? Meh, any excuses to punch them in the face with Skeleton Man's Calcium strength is good enough for me!
-Lightning \[T]/
There's always been one character I have wanted to see in a story
4898650
STOP, YOUR SPOOKING ME TO DEATH!
Well he's not actually naked.He's wearing a loincloth in the video.
We skeletons aren't evil. In fact, we used to live peacefully until the evil flesh parasite came and infected all of us. But one day, I promise we will finally break free of our disease and return to our peaceful ways.i.imgur.com/8PDXm6i.jpg
4900561
The video contained censoring to keep children from experiencing the full glory of Skeleton-Man
Behold skin man villain in disguise.
~Reggie
The ride never ends!
Someone listens to axis of awesome.
I'm calling it right now, Skin Man is the lead skeleton.
4906108
Only a skeleton could have that knowledge
4906291 maybe... Or maybe I'm SKELETON MAN!
4907592
Anyone could be Skeleton-Man
3spooky5meh
i673.photobucket.com/albums/vv93/jusumee/lmboinsideyourface.jpg
4908044 shut up Black Whine Tarkus
4909220
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/234/6/2/black_iron_tarkus_by_dedded-d5c0wdn.png
skeletons are love, skeletons are life
4917243
DAMMIT
I DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO EDIT IT NOW
I messed up, I will send myself to the shame corner.
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4969178
Soonish I'm in a slump for everything right now and I'm still out searching for the elusive job to pay off student loans soon.
4970878 That's it. I'm flooding the comments with Moar Krabs.
sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i/moar-krabs-wants-moar.png
4974757
Oh no now i have krabs
4975657 damn right.
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I think Ray Bradbury would be moderately delighted by this, the most logical next step in his great work.