Thrice Upon a Mattress
Chapter 17: Thrice Upon a Mattress
The gingerbread house was complete and sat carefully enclosed inside of its box awaiting delivery.
The Cakes stood in the showcase room, listening to Pinkie Pie as she seemed to be both rehearsing her lines for the Hearth's Warming pageant and speaking about everything that she wished to do and see in Canterlot.
She would not be with them until late tomorrow. The young mare instead would be returning for most of the day to the rock farm where her parents awaited their daughters and the joy that came with their presence.
Carrot lifted his face and turned back towards the doorway. The holiday cards all hung across the doorframe before him.
He focused past the frosting that still stood upon his nose and saw the card from Clyde and Roxy that hung there. The happy greetings reminded him that Pinkie's family was now in some ways theirs as well.
The mares made little noises of surprise. Carrot looked up to see Pinkie showing Cup Cake something that had been growing during that long day.
Ponies that had been passing by had been drawing in the frost that sat upon their window. Even as the mares looked on, Pinkie Pie's friends arrived, each ready to trot to the train station.
Pinkie motioned to them before they entered, asking each to draw a little representation of themselves in the frost.
As the mares and dragon whelp entered, Cup Cake motioned to them, winking as they each noticed the white dollop of frosting upon Carrot's nose, imploring them not to give away that they saw it there.
Carrot had forgotten about it. It simply had become a part of him, something else that she had added to his life. Cup Cake marveled at this even as the giggles of the girls sent small waves of confusion over his features.
All too soon there was a flurry of hugs, and with that, the young mares and their dragon escort departed Sugar Cube Corner.
The Cakes watched them go through the big picture window. To their surprise Pinkie Pie came bouncing back and smiled to them from the other side.
As her scarf dangled around her, they watched as she too added something to the frost, smiled to them once more, and then bounded off into the snowy streets to the railway station beyond.
Cupcake and Carrot lowered their heads and stared into the frost where dozens of little ponies seemed to march and dance.
Three ponies and an alligator stood close together, each one of them looking very much like the residents of Sugar Cube Corner.
Cup Cake leaned into him, let herself rock and sway in tune with her husband as they pondered the window.
Soon the last of their customers with holiday orders had arrived, made their holiday wishes, and departed with their treasures.
With that they closed Sugar Cube Corner to the world, leaving only the magical lights shining along the picture window to indicate their cheer.
Wrapping themselves in their scarves, they went out into the cold and grey Hearth's Warming Eve afternoon, the box containing the gingerbread house perched carefully upon Carrot's back.
Ivory Script was living in her own small home now, her parents having departed for Foalida during that year. The large mansion where she had lived all of her life had gone up for sale. Now she lived in a more modest abode in the center of the city that she served.
The long afternoon was spent in the pleasant company of their oldest friend, the mayor of Ponyville so comfortable and relaxed in their presence that she let the grey come out of her mane and let her natural pink shine through.
As the time came for the reveal of the gingerbread house, Cupcake lead her into her own dining room. There a beaming Carrot lifted the box to reveal the structure.
As Ivory looked it over, she smiled to Cup Cake, motioning to the prideful stallion that stood nearby.
Cup Cake nodded her head, once more acknowledging the dollop of frosting.
Ivory embraced them both, carefully avoiding the frosting upon Carrot's nose even as she giggled, and confusion sat upon him once more.
Promises were made. Ivory would come to Sugar Cube Corner the next evening and spend dinner with them. She would bring her gifts tomorrow… possibly having found what awaited her deep within the gingerbread house by that time.
With another embrace, they left their dear friend and went out into the wintry afternoon. As they went, they stopped to listen to songs that lifted from carolers or watch skaters in the big millpond.
They lingered just for a moment upon the snowy bank across from the mill, the very same spot where they had first spent pleasant time in the company of one another. The big millwheel continued its cycle even as the building itself sat empty of ponies, as large icicles formed on the wheel and the festive greenery sat in each window.
The air hung over the ice-covered river coldly. With a shiver Cup Cake leaned into her husband, seeking his warmth.
Their scarves could offer little comfort against the frosty air. With that in mind they were off to the big house that stood beyond the lamppost, leaning to one another as they went.
As they entered the house, they were greeted, the flash of Cup Cake's eyes telling all within not to mention the frosting that still sat resolutely upon Carrot's nose.
Carrot watched her family greet one another, interact with one another. Her brothers talked with him, and he did his best to make small talk with the powerful businesspony and the army officer.
His mother, now a dear matron to that family, greeted her son with a long hug and kiss that avoided the frosting. She too promised to come around to the bakery for dinner the following day.
Still, it seemed somehow less. As the activity swirled around the house, Carrot found himself in the kitchen, missing a certain older stallion who had once stood there with him making sandwiches and speaking in a rumbling tone.
Before long they were off again. As their extended family asked them to come around in the morning for breakfast and the opening of presents, they received their hugs and kisses.
Cup Cake could only giggle as the nieces and nephews her brothers had given them joined Ruby's in giggling at Carrot as they wrapped them in their forelegs, the confusion upon her husband's face only growing as the forgotten frosting caused the grown ponies to smirk and try to hide their expressions.
The restaurant in the Hotel Seabiscuit had a wide buffet laid out. As they found their favorite table, the waiter could only jump in small surprise as he looked upon the face of Carrot, not knowing if he should mention the frosting or not.
The room was largely unoccupied, giving them some welcome silence. As the fire flickered in the large stone fireplace, the waiter brought them their drinks. He removed the old plates as they slowly enjoyed all of the flavors and temptations that the buffet offered.
As they spoke a band played in the next room, and little remembrances crept into their conversation. Before too long they found themselves sitting there with their hooves upon the table, sitting upon the hoof of the other.
Carrot spoke about small things: the week now ending, their new ovens, wondered if she would like to try the Southwestern Reaches this year for a vacation.
As he did, he stared down into the rose colored eyes of his wife, lost in them as he had been for more than a decade.
She lifted her voice to answer: asked if they would have to put in a lift to access the attic when the new codes came into play, spoke about how nice it was not to have to adjust for uneven heating anymore, wondered if they would let ponies who were not on their honeymoon use a certain bungalow that she remembered very fondly.
As she did, he stared up to the green eyes of her husband, past the frosting that he was now oblivious to.
They said goodbye to their favorite table and favored the waiter with a generous tip as the crowds began to arrive. With that they left the restaurant in the Hotel Seabiscuit once more.
To their surprise it was actually a touch warmer than it had been when they escaped the chill over the river, and a light snow was now falling in the absence of the wind.
It seemed like an excellent evening for a walk. They decided to enjoy that night, together, before they headed to the dancehall. It almost was too perfect. As the lights of decorated homes shone out into the darkened night, they could be forgiven for perhaps thinking that some divine being had made it that way just for them…
The dancehall where they had first met had been rebuilt, a pony named Blues and his friends having once more filled the fabled structure with life and vibrancy. They slowly made their way there as the flakes of snow gently drifted around them, and holiday music, mixed with dances and other songs of all varieties, lifted from the distant structure.
They stopped as they went to peer over the holiday displays in the windows of the closed stores, swaying together as they leaned upon one another tenderly.
As they crossed through the snowy streets, they stopped to look upon the buildings, each one alive with decoration, candles, and lights.
Cup Cake had been walking towards the next group of lights, their hues already falling over her, when she felt an alien sensation… the feeling that he was not near her, the absence of his body touching to hers.
She turned around and panned the street. There she found him looking down into a perfect sheen of newly fallen snow.
She watched him, saw that he was contemplating something that stood within the white.
With that she saw Carrot plant his hoof into the snow in a slow, deliberate movement. He lifted his head to look at her, his eyes squinting to catch her in the light of a lamppost.
She trotted back, already knowing what she would find there, her heart leaping at the knowledge.
He had of course found one of her hoofprints in the freshly fallen snow. He had selected the best one, the one that was as perfect as he could select, and had pressed his hoof into it.
The two prints stood there before them, merged into one symbol. As she stood next to him, she wrapped it in a heart, the snow moving around her hoof placidly and yieldingly.
They stood there, staring down into it as she placed her head on his shoulder, the flakes falling through the lamplight around them.
Beyond them, music drifted out of Blues' New Blue Flag Club, the old dancehall seeming to fill with the soft tones of the notes that caught among the decorations that adorned it.
As she began to nuzzle beneath him, draw her face along his, there was only one ornament that called to her, only one decoration that caught her interest.
Enough, it was time.
She took his hoof, wordlessly asking him to follow her to the windows of the nearby Carousel Boutique.
Gently she drew him closer until their reflection stood upon the windows, the Cakes staring back at themselves as the lights in the windowpane caught them in a myriad of colors.
He looked upon her smiling reflection and then peered deeper at his own and tried to figure out what she was telling him.
He arched his eyebrow and stared at his reflection deeper, growing slightly perturbed as she began to giggle.
Cup Cake lifted her hoof and pointed with a wide grin to the dollop of frosting that still sat upon his nose.
Carrot crossed his eyes, concentrated and realized that it was still there. As he realized why Ivory, their family in the big house, and the waiter had all been giggling and smiling at him, a blush came over his face.
He had utterly forgotten about it. It had become just another part of him, something that she had placed there and made a part of his life.
He turned to her to try to apologize for embarrassing her, but at once he was made aware that was not her concern at all.
Not in the slightest.
She placed his head in her hoof and guided it down to her.
Cup Cake rubbed her nose to his, the small gentle motions sending their familiar and welcome feeling between them.
She kissed his lips, moved up slightly and planted another kiss on his nose. She then reached the frosting.
She took a few tiny bites of it, nibbled at it and then simply began to lap at him. She let the warmth of her tongue slide up the space above his nose and under his eyes.
He closed his eyes, felt her tongue as it traced the spot, let the sense of her closeness and the heat of her body enter him.
In a few motions it was mostly gone. As he opened his eyes he saw her standing there before him, a happy little smirk upon her face.
She stuck her tongue out at him, her cheeks and eyes wrinkling up into the devious smile that had long ago captured his heart.
In an instant he knew what she was doing. He knew that a flavor must still rest upon her tongue. He moved to answer her offer to share it.
As the flakes gently fell around them, he lowered his lips to hers. Together they chased the taste of the frosting between them. Its flavor was so much like a sugar cube long since dissolved, one whose memory they had savored ever since.
No, it was more than just that uncomplicated flavor.
The ingredients of the frosting filled them with more than just a simple taste of sugar. It was stronger and more practiced. The frosting was much more than just sugar, just as their love had only grown in that time. It had been beaten and whipped, but it had become that much better.
They lifted from the kiss. Soon their heads were touching to one another once again, the long and slow motions letting their familiar feel drift through the other.
In a moment any thoughts of dancing at the club fell away, became an instant impossibility.
As they stared softly to one another, they both knew the welcome sensation that drifted from their heart to the heart of the other. An implore raised itself in her eyes, and tenderness grew in his. With that they both knew in a happy instant to where they were being drawn.
As the music drifted from the club beyond, they turned towards the street leading back to Sugar Cube Corner and the warm bed within.
She trotted ahead of him for a second and then began walking backwards, staring at him with her little smile. She touched her nose to his once again, and then she turned and trotted ahead, his heart leaping at the sight of her bouncing, buoyant steps.
She looked over her shoulder at him, her cheeks still lifting in her cunning smile as she began to weave through the lampposts, asking him to pursue her.
He began his little chase, Cup Cake looking back to him as he slowly gained upon her, her laughter guiding him even more than the sight of the rosy mane and beautiful coat of his wife as the lamplight fell over her.
He listened to her hooves going across the cobblestones, the sound muffled by the snow, watched her mane bounce as the snow swirled around her.
She stopped and let him catch up to her for an instant. His lips fell to hers for a lingering moment before she giggled again and was off once more, turning back to him as his smile grew.
She brushed the snow from his mane as they gained the doorway of Sugar Cube Corner. As he did the same, she laid her head to his chest. He let her lie there, his head upon hers, until she lifted it and looked up to him once more. With another inviting touch of their muzzles they entered their small home.
Their scarves barely made it to the drying rack before they were cantering up the stairs, Cup Cake still giggling as she went. The wonderful sound filled the stairwell as she removed her earrings.
As she finished, she placed them on the table at the head of the stairs. She felt his hoof upon her, slowly tracing the length of her stifle, coasting slowly down the length of her rear leg and back up again.
She turned to her husband as he gained the last few steps, lifted his touch from her.
She leaned forward into another kiss, and with that they entered their bedroom.
A moment later they came trotting back out again, both laughing.
Pinkie had opened the upstairs windows to let the moisture of her accidental deluge escape the bakery. The bracing chill that filled the upstairs sealed it against their intentions.
No matter, they would make their own heat.
With the windows closed in all of the upstairs rooms and Gummy seen to be safe and happy upon his warming rock, they trotted back downstairs.
The two trotted down the stairs and to the kitchen so quickly and filled with expectancy that a few holiday cards fell from the doorframe with the rush of their air, not to be discovered until the next morning.
They lit the ovens, left the doors open so that even as the room was left dark, the blue flames wafted about merrily in their confines.
The fireplace in the parlor roared to life, and as the blinds were closed, the futon and its mattress were arrayed, the pillows carefully set.
The light of the fireplace fell over them, joined in its illumination by the Hearth's Warming tree that stood in the corner. As they lay upon the mattress and pillows, the lights upon the tree shimmered over them, cast them in its colors.
They pondered it for a good long while, studying the tree and the presents beneath it as they lay against one another, as they nuzzled their faces to one another and wrapped their hooves deeper and deeper together.
The ornaments upon the tree, many as old as their marriage, were each filled with some happy thought or cherished memory of those they knew and loved and the times they had shared together.
They laid their heads to one another and thought of all the ponies whose gifts awaited them tomorrow, thought of all of the faces that were attached to the names upon the little presents beneath their tree.
As they did, it filled them with a sense of completeness, wholeness, a feeling that all was well in their world. They sensed that their love had indeed grown to include so many, that they were a part of a great circle, one that would be drawn here to their little home inside their bakery tomorrow.
That though was tomorrow. This evening was for the two of them alone to share.
Carrot felt her lift her body, felt Cup Cake place her forelegs across his shoulders.
Her kisses fell in a wobbling trail up his withers and along his neck. The cadence and soft feel of her lips went across his cheek before catching his ear between them.
Slowly she nibbled at his ears, first one and then the other. Not hurting him or biting them, simply letting her lips embrace them, her teeth touching to them just enough to show her affections.
Carrot felt the wonder sensation of her light frame close to his, felt the heat of her body over his.
With that her lips once more planted kisses to him, her hooves signaling him to roll to his side.
As her mouth reached his neck, her hooves ran along his chest, his shoulders, and her teeth caught along the ancient bow tie lightly.
It was weathered with age and perhaps fraying, but it was something she had given him. It was like the frosting she had placed upon him, the single small line of white still showing where it had rested. It was something she had given him and so he had kept it, cherished it.
Gently she touched her mouth to it over and over, undoing the knot with small movements, carefully releasing it from the amber neck upon which it lay. As she went, she first pulled at it and then let her mouth find some spot upon his neck to lay a small kiss before once more tenderly pulling upon the cravat.
Cup Cake alternated these motions in turn until it pulled free, the bow tie hanging in her mouth as she lay above him, her hooves lying upon his chest as she gazed down over her husband.
Even as it still dangled in her mouth, Cup Cake touched her head to that of Carrot. She stood and smiled to him as the bow tie swayed in her mouth, seemed even to chuckle wordlessly as she did.
Cup Cake moved slightly, parted the pillows and looked across to Carrot as he sat up and settled his eyes across her.
She dropped his bow tie across the pile of pillows, across the deepest part of the futon. As the cravat slid from her mouth, she looked deep into his approaching eyes, signaling to her husband the spot where she wished to be made love to.
As he wrapped his forelegs around her, she leaned backwards into him, just as she had done once upon a distant and happy time when flour had poured over them.
As she rested against his chest, he touched his head to hers, his hooves stroking her forelegs tenderly and gently, the awareness of his welcome touch sinking into her.
In the kitchen the blue flames fell down inside the oven, the room having met the temperature they had wished. The little sounds of their home, this small segment of the world that they had built together over long years, these floated into their parlor as she sank deeper into her favorite place… the place in the world where she felt most at home, safe, and loved.
As she lay further into his chest, he wrapped her closer, let his lips fall across her neck once more, press to and nibble gently upon the space behind her ears.
After long moments of their embrace, he felt her nudge him, press against him with an entreat for his actions.
As Cup Cake leaned backwards, she did so without hesitancy, trusting and knowing that he was there for her, feeling the sweep of his body as he lowered her to the mattress.
Her head rested in his foreleg until her husband arranged the pillow beneath her, Carrot not placing her upon the cushion until it stood just so, made it so that she seemed to hang above the mattress more than lay upon it.
Her head tilted to the side, her forelegs folding to her chest as he returned to face her, standing over her and looking upon her supine presence.
"I love you, Mrs. Cake," he said as he grasped her offered hooves, standing over her and staring down into the rosy eyes that he had long adored.
"I love you, Mr. Cake," she answered, kissing his nose and brushing a waft of his mane from his gentle eyes.
She sought his eyes, held his wandering hoof to her face for just an instant before ushering it off to its explorations once again.
As his touch floated across her, she slowly rocked her head back and forth from one side of the pillow to the other, giving small sounds of contentment as he lingered upon her body with small circles and lazy patterns.
She ran her hoof up his foreleg, reaching up until her own rested against his face. He leaned against it, let his head settle to her hoof.
The warmth of the fireplace fell over them, and the lights of the tree caught across them.
They could not know, as they gazed upon one another, that this was the last year that children's toys would be absent from under that tree.
They could not know that this would be their last year for many years that they would be able to sleep in on Hearth's Warming Day, that soon foals would be calling to them at early hours or leaping into their bed and begging to be allowed to go downstairs into the parlor.
They had been through so much together, had suffered so much to be together.
They had learned so much, learned from each other and from those who their love had brought into their lives.
They had been made stronger; strong enough now that the deep magic sensed their strength, knew that they were ready for what would now happen.
The magic knew that they were strong, resolute… that they had planned, made strong stands against that which they feared.
The magic knew that they could accept loss, hardship, could get through it all because they relied on one another… that they had made a long journey together.
The magic knew that they would never stop trying their hardest to live up to the task that had been set for them… that they had never stopped loving one another, had never broken down because of the strength they shared.
The magic knew that they were ready, that they could accept those whose lives were so very different from their own as part of their lives… just as they had for a young mare who had filled their house with love and laughter.
The Cakes were ready, had shown themselves to be ready, and the magic moved to answer their long-spoken Invokes.
They could not know that with their acts that night, the seeds that would be scattered would not find the barren rocks and sandy ground that had laid there over the long decade of doubt and uncertainty.
They could not know that this night the deep magic moved within her, and fertile soils rich with life opened at its call.
They could not know that the magic had awakened two souls and was ready to answer their pleas that they had long spoken, was preparing to make their love corporeal.
The magic had waited, knew that for the two earth ponies raising twins would be hard enough, a test of their skills.
It also knew that raising two foals of races different from themselves, a unicorn filly and a pegasus colt, would be harder still.
There would be challenges for them; heartbreak, fear, frustration… but also happiness, joy, and love.
These emotions and more would meet the new lives that they created this night, but among them love stood tallest. The greatest among them was the love that Carrot Cake and Cup Cake would drape over their foals all of their long lives.
The magic had waited until they were strong enough, smart enough, had learned and loved. They had never stopped trying… and now they had won.
The magic conceded the round, saw that they were ready for this task and applauded them their victory in "The Game of This."
They could not know it was so very happy for them and that it waited patiently that much longer to bestow them with their prizes.
They of course could not know these things as they lay there.
All that a happy Cup Cake knew was that her husband was leaving soft kisses across her neck, her chest, her barrel…
Her body arched, calling for his, but he was lost in the act of draping his kisses across her. Instead he denied himself that pleasure that much longer to focus on the small, happy sounds that were lifting from her. She raised her hoof, called his lips back up to hers.
Something caught in the firelight, in the lights that cascaded off the tree.
Seeing it there, she pressed her lips to the ridges between his nose and beneath his eyes, grabbing the last of the frosting that still clung to his muzzle.
With one more deep, long kiss they chased this taste between them, let it catch on their tongues. With another long, loving glance, Carrot then continued to lay his affections upon his wife.
As the feeling of his soft touch swept through her, she wiped her head across the pillow. As a taste remained, it was not the flavor of the frosting that stood out most on her lips.
No, a different taste jumped to the fore, a taste that Cup Cake adored more than anything that had been prepared in their kitchen over their lives together. Their happy lives, their journey.
Carrot crept down her body, his lips touching to her chest, her stomach, her navel, and farther still. As Carrot did he gathered a taste that washed the frosting from his mouth until it receded as a happy memory.
No, a different taste sat there, one that was dearer to him than anything else in this world.
A taste drifted across both of their senses as Carrot lingered his lips across her. It was a taste sweeter than any in the world, a taste as wonderful and intoxicating as any meal they had ever eaten and yet at once as familiar to each other as the feel of their shared touch and the glance of their eyes.
It was a taste of themselves: a taste of the friend, a taste of the lover, of the partner, of the husband and wife, of the two ponies who had shared the journey… a taste of this other self.
It was a taste that they cherished and embraced more than anything else in the world, a taste that had long washed through them and still bound them closer and closer to one another…
… a sweet taste of Cake.
End.
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Man... you beat me to it. I love this couple. There's just something so sweet and innocent about these two that makes reading about them such a treat.
Well that was a trip worth taking. What's left to say? We had a well written story about the show's second most important side characters right after Cherilee in terms of actual lines and appearance.
It goes in this order:
1. Cherilee
2. The Cakes
3. The Mayor
In general the fic was heartwarming, funny, sad and then triumphant.
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Peace Out. I can't wait to see the next story, maybe one about Davenport or Screwball.
Holy long.
Nice title drop on that last line. :P
I thoroughly enjoyed this fic. It was happy, sad, exciting, romantic, all those things.
547645
this was before
CLICK THIS
601459
Agreed. There's a lot to be said for two earth ponies going about their lives, their defining characteristic being their love for one another.
Sorry to "beat ya' to the punch". That's happened to me a lot... don't feel that you can't write it though, there's always room for more stories!
601503
I'm very glad that you came with me on this journey, Waff. A good readership is what makes me want to write, and you definitely provided that!
Next story is about another background character, and is also a romance, but it doesn't go nearly as well...
601595
Agreed, but I feel each chapter holds up on its own. I hope you consider reading it!
601711
I'm very glad you enjoyed reading it. You were an excellent help to me in terms of encouragement. Thanks for coming with me on this trip!
601729 Well, I gave it a like just for the content alone. And congradulations. There aren'y many stories here that surpass 100k words. This is longer than mine, which is currently at only about 92. Great work here.
Thank you for writing this story, its really wonderful.
601763
I'll accept content praise! I'm good with that!
602282
Thank you so much for saying so! Thanks for reading and commenting!
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I'm sad to see that this is over but it was well written and I'm glad I favorited this when I could.
The Descendant I must give you props for writing what may be THE BEST fanfic ever!
(M Bison: Yes, Yes!)
602871
The dancehall hasn't been in the show, but it plays a crucial role in another one of my stories. I thought it was a nice little touch... good luck with your computer!
602961
You know that I've loved having you along for the long and winding story that this turned out to be. Thanks so much for coming along!
603081
John, you're far too generous as always... and I thank you for it.
Thank you for being an excellent reader, as you always have been. I'm very glad that you enjoyed the journey, and I can only hope that the next story earns you readership as well.
603478
There are no bad ponies, just those who have lost their way and need guiding back (Personal Fanon).
I'm sorry to sound this way, but your first line and the sad Applebloom avatars... did I do something wrong? Was there an element that didn't work? Not the love scene, was it?
In any case, thank you so much for coming along and following the story as it progressed. It was great talking with you and being in communication! I hope we'll see you back here for other works as well!
601729 I have to concur that each chapter I was afraid that this was going to be the one that jumped the boring shark, but I should have shown more faith. Each chapter did stand on it's own, and the pacing was very good, even if it did take them three weeks to make that gingerbread house (from my perspective at least).
The only thing that bugs me is that the single Mom from Blues' story was...in tune with the magic when the dad was not? or maybe they were but only very temporarily. Don't let that convince you that I don't squeal like a filly when the continuity nods happen though.
606141
I guess that the best way to put that is that there are any number of reasons to want children, not all of them high and lofty. In Tangled Up in Blues Taffy Twist wanted a child because she thought she had found someone who she loved and Penny's biological father was interested in, well, having his genes go forward ("I'm not some buckin' breeder, only in this for my genes!" shouts Carrot at one point in this story). The Deep Magic only answered Taffy's wish because it knew eventually a stallion of far more worth would enter the life of Penny and her mother, namely Blues.
I'm glad that the story didn't jump the shark! Any suggestions on how I can make the dollop scenes more fluid? Thanks as always!
In reply to your previous concern, I was saying that quarry's death was even more sad than the violent deaths you have mentioned which made me
You aren't the fist one to misinterpret my comments. I'll try and be more clear in the future.
That's a perfect answer about the magic. I felt that the dollop intros were all good, but the only one I remember from the second half is the one with the umbrellas. Maybe if half the intros, the first and fourth quarter had been about making the house and there had been something else in between, I wouldn't have felt they became rote (which the being quarry chants never did). Then again, maybe I'm just trying to rush through these too fast. You can't please all the people all the time and you defintley don't need to try
606646
Ah! I see now. Agreed! There's always going to be something to cry over in most of my stories... but hopeflly laugh and "D'aawww" at as well!
Hmmm... interesting point about the dollop scenes! Maybe I can do something about that before I submit this to Equestria Daily.
I feel it needs to be said that this is one of the best fice I have ever read
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Thank you so much for saying so! I put a lot of work into it, and I'm glad that you felt that it came out well! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
*massive applause* I should probably stop clapping since two kittens, a rooster, and my dogs are all giving me strange looks, but I don't care.*continues applause* This fic was, in short, perfect. One of the best romance fics I've ever read, if not the best. I hate to see it end, but I enjoyed the ride. Can't wait to see what's next!
Excellent ending to a fantastic story, easily one of my favorites in the entire fanon. Headcanon achieved.
So many things in this story touched me deeply.
Quarry. I didn't expect to like him as much as I did in the end. There is a certain parallel between him and a certain someone who was once in my life that made it hit me fairly hard.
The nods to Tangled Up In Blues were great, another one of my favorites. I smiled so widely at the mention of the New Blue Flag Club in this last chapter.
Lastly the simple phrase "She was beautiful too!" will stick with me for a long time. Seems like a pretty small thing to focus on, but all this last week whenever I got upset about something I just thought about Pinkie saying that and it brought a smile to my face and to my heart. Part of that is probably Pinkie's influence as much as yours, but when you work on a canvas the paint you use is important.
I need to finish this up and go to work, so let me just finish by saying: Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us.
To be honest, I had marked this as a favorite because I didn't know about the ability to mark stories as Read Later. Once I discovered that, I began marking out those favorites I never read as Read Later in order to clean this up. When I came across this, I left the Favorite tag on and decided to actually read it.
In the short time I've been with this fandom, I've read some stories that were flat out bad and stories that were mediocre. I've also read stories that were good enough for me to favorite and like and others that were so good that I did that and left some small commentary about how good they were. This story wasn't good.
It was brilliant.
You did something that not many writers could do and that was give some minor show characters an excellent story arc without betraying what we know about them from the show. Not once did the reader feel like either Carrot Cake or Cupcake acted out of line but they did show character depth and were made even more likable as a result. You also gave the reader a healthy amount of original characters that didn't feel like Mary Sues and gave them the same amount of character and depth to make you care about them. Both are very commendable traits and something not many writers seem to fully grasp yet you've done it easily here.
The inclusion of Pony beliefs fit in well. The wind whispers, the invokes, the heavy belief in magic and the idea in the afterlife gave depth to the world but it didn't feel unnatural. It was almost as if you crafted a belief system that didn't just mirror current popular religious beliefs and that should be recognized as a great move on your part.
Then there's the actual writing itself. There were a few spelling errors here and there but the structure itself was well done. The sentences were very descriptive but what was impressive was the paragraph length. Each paragraph was short but it flowed well and it never became a struggle for the reader to go from one line to the next without having to re-read lines. The pacing also felt natural as you never feel that things are either going too slowly or too quickly. Everything flowed at a natural pace and the time jumps weren't jarring at all. The chapter breakdowns also happened at just the right spots to either give closure to put in the right amount of suspense without feeling jolted.
The story itself ran through a gamut of emotions and genres and I had the pleasure of experiencing them all. It was very romantic throughout but the sense of drama hit at the right points as did sadness. There were times where I was on the verge of tears, both happy and sad ones, and the final chapters did make me shed a few. There were also very humorous bits that didn't involve Pinky at all, whom some writers use as their backup for ensured comedy considering her character, and that was refreshing to see. The roller coaster of emotions is what got me addicted to the story, so much so that I finished a good chunk of it throughout the night, savoring each word and forgetting to eat. I even woke up in the middle of the night and got through the last two chapters simply because I couldn't sleep and wanted to know just how you ended everything.
I may have rambled on long enough but all I wanted to say is that you did a better than excellent job with this tale. You have some writing talent in you and I look forward to seeing you cultivate that into more stories.
Well done, dear writer. Well done.
Looking at some comics of DA, and this on made me think of this awesome story:
http://toxic-mario.deviantart.com/gallery/32558218?offset=48#/d4le0hy
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I, of course, was very happy to have you along for this journey! It is dedicated readers like you that made the onerous task of writing this lengthy work worthwhile, and you deserve applause as well.
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It makes me happy to know that one of my works has achieved "head canon" or "personal fanon" status for someone else. It kind feels like I've accomplished something!
I'm glad that something as simple as a little phrase like that hung with you. It means that my attempts at creating memorable situations worked!
It was my honor and privilege to share this story with you, DJ, and I hope we'll see you back here for more.
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Oh, wow!
I am very, very, very glad that you chose to read this story in full. I know that there are many stories out there that deserve a read, and that you chose mine is deeply appreciated.
Creating characterization is one of my writing traits, I'm told, and that you saw that as a powerful aspect of this work really helps me believe that to be true. I enjoy painting stories about the background characters, and if you enjoyed this one you may also enjoy my stories Tangled Up in Blues and A Cup of Joe. My original characters are important to me, and I'd never subject them to being merely self-inserts.
I rapidly formed a set of beliefs that I felt would fit well with the Equestrians. I'm glad that it worked on this level.
Thank you so much for your compliments about my formatting and mechanics. I worked very, very, very hard to make sure that each chapter was individually strong and supported the larger narrative. The shift between time periods is one that I'm working on improving, so I'm glad that you felt they worked well.
There are authors here in this fandom that do exactly the same type of thing to me with their emotional writing that I unintentionally did to you here with this one. Thank you so much for including me in their ranks! Sorry about the sleepless night, but I'm glad that it was strong enough to warrant your nocturnal investigation!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I hope I'll hear from you again with comments about my older stories and my new ones as a good contemplative reader makes it all worthwhile! Thank you so much!
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Heh, hadn't seen that one!
Lovely. You wove this story together with such finesse . . . constructing a tale of such depth for these characters. Everypony has a story, and this was definitively theirs.
Bravo, bravo, and much applause!
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I'm very glad that I was able to construct an O.C. who was interesting and believable, even likable, enough to cause you so much emotion. I'm also happy that my characterization of Pinkie came off well!
Thank you so much! It means a lot to me that you've been reading my stories, and this one in particular. I can only hope that I continue to write up to this standard!
Beautiful just
ing Beautiful.
.
I laughed, I cried, I got angry, and uplifted.
Beautiful
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I'm so happy that the story played upon so many of your emotions! Thank you so much for your comment, and especially for reading!
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Who Quarry is, and why that is important to know, will become more obvious as you read the story.
The dollop of frosting is the core metaphor of the entire work. Just keep in mind that the scenes where they are building the gingerbread house take place years, even decades, after the continuing action of the story and they will make sense.
Sorry to hear about your computer problems! I look forward to your thoughts on this chapter and the others!
I don't know what to say that others haven't already. You continue writing stories that are above and beyond any other writer I've seen. I didn't read this when it was first posted as it was marked Incomplete, because I knew I would not be able to put it down once I started. I recently saw it was completed, and you did not disappoint. Than you for writing a wonderful, emotional and heartwarming story!
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Thank you so much! I hope you believe me when I say that receiving this message from you was a real moral booster, as I'm going through some difficulties at the moment. It means a lot to me that you enjoyed it! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
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Oh, yes, it most certainly should be! Can you remember where you saw that error. If you can, than I'll fix it.
I am very glad that you are enjoying the story! I'm actually doing a very fine sweep of it now (due to reasons I'll mention in a few weeks), but you know I'd love to hear anything you have to say about it. Thank you so much for the compliments!
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You are just racing through this thing!
I could go on for many, many lines about how wonderful this fic is, but I think I can sum it up by stating that I've stayed up 'till 3:30AM to read this fic, its that good.
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I can't remember the exact number, but it was the one where the Mayor leaves to Canterlot.
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Sorry to make you lose a night of sleep! May the happy vision of the Cakes draw you off to your rest, however, and thank you so very much for taking the time to read, comment, and reply!
loved your story an underated couple in my opinion btw possibility for a sequel about the cakes trials with having children maybe please if you dont do a sequel you,ll make
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A possible sequel? Huh, perhaps! Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!
Damn. I just spent the better part of the day reading this story slavishly, hanging on to every single word in an emotional rollercoaster of a romance story that felt more authentic than any other I've read in this fandom, and I can't even think up a comment that sufficiently describes just how engrossed and immersed I've been through all of it. It was such an amazing read, my headcanon will forever be branded by it
Ow, my head - I was reading this when I should have been sleeping. Staying up for the last few hours before work so I don't wake up at two in the afternoon.
Just a fantastic story, man. (Well, another one, I've read Cup Of Joe too). I laughed, I cried, I cursed you occasionally seeing where you were leading the story. Quarry is an impressively imposing character! Definitely headcanon now. One more disjointed thought - it was a great combination of a love story, a romance, a life story.
Also I *just* now finally got the significance of Ivory's hair, haha. Let's see if I can get another one of yours started at my desk today!
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I'm sorry that it took me so long to reply to your comment! I must have misplaced it! Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I'm very glad that the romance felt "authentic" to you. I tried very, very hard to write an engrossing story without falling into any of the "traps" of shipping. Thank you so much for taking the time to read ad comment!
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I'm very glad that the aspect of this being a story of lives filled with romance, rather than just a story about romance, showed through for you. I definitely wanted this to be another one of my stories that explored the lives of minor characters. I'm so happy that it now ranks among your "personal fanon"!
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Heh, I hoped that twist would be effective for the readers.
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Stolen one-for-one from Hazel-Rah's death... best freakin' novel I've ever read.
Oh my...
Would you like to know how good this was? I haven't written any today because I've sat here in this chair reading through the entirety of your story. Have you ever read "Enchantment" by Orson Scott Card? I felt similarly at the end of that one as I do at the end of this one.
Beautiful work!
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I honestly can't say that I have, but it sounds like a good read. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the story and leave a comment... even if it did cut into your own writing!
Okay, wow. That took me a lot longer to read because... uh... something was obstructing my view about 90% of the time.
You owe me a box of tissues.
Now that's out of the way... Seriously, wow. Again. I'm actually sitting here utterly lost for words. Keep it up Descendant!
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Don't worry... it get better for them, I promise! Thank so much, and I look forward to your thoughts at the end!
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I'll send you that box of tissues. You know I always appreciate the support and readership!
758781 You've got a lifetime fan in me
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I began pre-writing this in November, bore down hard on the actual writing in December. I was interrupted briefly due to writing The Song of Syhlex, and spent February-March fighting through those 108,000 words. I'm very glad that you can find them worth reading. Great to hear from you!
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Yay!
OK, I'm officially sleep deprived and I couldn't be happier! You have a real gift for writing and I look forward to reading and re-reading your works
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Forgive me if I reply to all of your comments in one post so you don't get ten reply notices.
I'm very glad that you enjoyed "the journey" that this story presented. The chapter with Granny Pie's funeral was the turning point of the story, so I'm glad it stuck out for you. I'm sorry to keep you up so late, but I appreciate your readership!
So, you know Egophiliac's Slice of Pony Life ask blog? I imagined this whole story in that art style. (If only you had a pony named Gâteau... ) Anyway, that style definitely added to the adorable factor of this fic, not that you needed any help.
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Heh, well, it was one of her works that inspired the story, so you're on the right track!