Gildaloo

by Bysen

The Cat in Gilda's Pants

They arrived at Gilda’s place, a reasonably sized apartment, nice lounge room, kitchen right next to it separated by a counter and hallway to a few rooms. Standard block unit. Scootaloo was still a little shaken from what had happened. “Go take a seat, I’ll get you a drink.” Gilda said to her as she pointed her towards the couch in front of a giganormous TV. She did and tried to relax. “Beer, AJ, water…?”

“Water’s fine.” Scootaloo said. She was a tough girl, but who wouldn’t be scared after what she could only assume was attempted rape? Of course it could’ve just been a mugging but people tend to assume the worst. Gilda leant down over the back of the couch and handed her a glass. She put it on the table in front of her before jumping over the couch and landing in her seat. Rrrriiiipppp!!!!!

“Oh you’ve got to be rutting me.” she said as the middle seam of her jeans torn almost all the way to her belt. She felt down there and it went half way up the back of them too. “Wha-ti.. uh damn it.” she said as she stood up, moving her hands over her jeans and looking back at the couch to figure out what just happened.”I've jumped over that thing like a thousand times…”

“Must’ve been when you round-housed that guy.” Scootaloo told her. She knew from experience that high kicks in long pants either hurt like hell or lost you a pair… of jeans .

“Celestia damn it!” Gilda yelled as she grabbed the torn seam and just ripped her pants off into two separate pieces, one in each hand. She then calmly let out a sigh and said “That. Fucking. Hurt.” just because the middle seem was ripped, didn’t mean the ones running down the legs of them where, and she’d just torn the very expensive and very well made piece of clothing of from her legs. And those threads didn’t break easily. Not to mention the tips of her fingers hurt from putting so much force into them.

“Uh…” Scootaloo said as she looked at the woman standing in front of her wearing a wooly jacket up top and nothing but a pinkish-white pair of knickers that had to be at least one size too small down below. Gilda had a fat arse… in a good way though. And by that I mean it was mostly muscle.

“What?” Gilda said, sliding a thumb underneath her undies at the back and skimming it from that side to the front as she turned around. Scootaloo almost lost it at how positively opposite Gilda’s panties were to her personality. She was gruff and butch. These were the girliest pair of underwear Scootaloo had ever seen. At least since she was like three.

“Pfft-hhaha… hello kitty.” she laughed as she greeted the iconic cat on the front of them.

“Har-dee-har… well what do yours look like then?” Gilda said as she put her hands on her hips and tilted sideways a bit more… only making herself look now like a valley girl. Scootaloo just lost it then. She laughed hard and loud. Until Gilda leant down and put her face right up to hers and told her, leaning with one arm beside her against the back of the couch. “You know I ripped them kicking someone’s arse right?” with more than just a hint of threat in her tone.

Scootaloo quickly shut up. The two stayed face to face for a few moments, Gilda frowning, Scootaloo slowly growing back to the fear levels of about ten minutes ago. Then Gilda started laughing as she pulled away. “By Celestia, Gilda… I just about shit a brick there!” Scootaloo said as she joined in laughing lightly. Gilda plopped down beside her on the couch once more and through an arm over her shoulder.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Gilda said softly as she turned her head towards her friend. Scootaloo turned to her as well and gave a questioning look. “What do yours look like?” Gilda asked.

“Like… underwear?” Scootaloo answered. Gilda raised an eyebrow but before she could speak Scootaloo added “No way, I am not showing you.”

“Quit being such a tease…” Gilda replied with a smirk.

“What? Listen, I’m not gay or anything.” Scootaloo said. Thinking back on it, it was possible this chick hadn’t been just striking up a conversation, instead she’d been flirting with her.

“Yeah, sure.” Gilda said as she leant in and kissed the girl in her arm. Elbow to the face! Scootaloo pulled away and put as much distance between herself and Gilda on the couch, pushing right up against the arm of it, leaving a full person’s space between them.

“The hell did I just tell you!” she yelled and started eyeing the door, starting to think she may’ve been safer hoping it had just been a mugging from those guys than in here now with this lesbo.

Gilda coughed and groaned a bit from Scootaloo’s hit and raised a hand to the side of her face. The angle hadn’t let Scootaloo hit as hard as she had with the other guy before but it still hurt. She looked up at Scootaloo, pressed up against the other side of their seat. Her eyes were switching back and forth between Gilda and the door. “What the… what the hell Scootaloo?”

This surprised her. It didn’t stop her from preparing to bolt the second Gilda made a move but it still surprised her. “What the hell ‘what the hell’?” she nearly screamed. “Stay away from me dyke. I say I’m not a lesbo and you try ta start making out with me? Whaddya think was going to happen!?”

“Wait… you meant that?” Gilda asked as she continued to rub her sore face. Scootaloo’s expression screamed ‘dafuq do you think?!’. And at that point Gilda felt like an arse. “By Luna… I’m so sorry Scootaloo. I uh… I guess I misread that.”

“You think?” Scootaloo replied. She started to calm now. She was freaked but at least saw how it could’ve been an honest mistake. “Listen… I uh... next time you hit on another mare, tell them you’re hitting on them first. And... oh god! ESPECIALLY tell them that if you invited them back to your place!” she said, realizing what had been implied with her coming here.

“Uh... yeah. Sorry about that.” Gilda said, sounding genuinely apologetic. At this point Scootaloo had calmed down again. Her throat still hurt from screaming though. She hesitantly picked up the glass of water, 99% sure it wasn’t drugged, and took a few sips. Gilda continued from what she’d said before with “But… you know that was a gay bar right?” Spit take!

Scootaloo nearly choked on the water as half the glass dribbled down her face. “Seriously?!” she shouted.

“You know this is an apartment right? Mind keeping it down.” she said, receiving a deadpan expression from Scootaloo. “Yeah, it is. Well it is on Thursdays anyway. And guess what day it is.” Gilda said. the briefest smirk appeared on her face from her bad joke but was quickly washed away by Scootaloo’s obvious disarray. “Look, I’m sorry about this whole mess. You can sleep on the couch tonight and I'll drive you wherever tomorrow. Deal?”

“Yeah… thanks.” Scootaloo replied. The two then just stayed there for a few moments, awkwardly meeting and breaking eye contact until finally Gilda spoke up.

“Right, well... I’m gonna go put on some pants.”

Author's Note:

What, you think Scootaloo was gay just because she likes past-times that are generally more male-centric? Well shame on you!

Told you this wasn't a shipfic.

Comments

[The Literary Lord]

Gilda likes Hello Kitty?

[Gaia]

The Hello Kitty.....

It haunt's me always....

P.S.
First line, spelled 'apartment' amusingly wrong

[Pen Expers]

In the second chapter, there was this:

This may’ve been the closest pub to where she lived, but that was still about five K’s [kilometres] away.

This apostrophe isn't needed.

I dig this story. I dig homophobic Scootaloo (because I wanna see her face when she actually falls for Gilda ). You've made Gilda likable enough in this story (she has a habit of being a total dick, but you've succeeded with making her cool without taking out her Gilda-ness). Good job. Can't wait to see another chapter.

[Skunkiss]

This is getting better and better

Poor Gilda, all too realistic outcome

[Wade]

Good chapter. I like how Gilda’s a bit overly-aggressive, but isn't a full-on bitch.

[Seether00]

Awww... Come on man. Do the shipping.

[Shpoople96]

tshirthell.com/shirts/products/a195/a195.gif

[linksbro1]

Told you this wasn't a shipfic.

...
THEN WHY IS THERE A ROMANCE TAG?

[Bysen]

4902038 The same reason it has a Soarin' and Rumble tag.
We're only at chapter 3 of 10
4898699 Actually, using a comma before either 'and' or 'but' is the equivialnt of starting a new sentence, however the rule of not starting a sentence with And or But overrides this one outside of speech.
Trust me. I may not follow the all the same rules of grammar as everyone else but I heavily enforce and maintain my own ones, thus keeping constancy as a priority.
Yeah! You just got grammatically owned bitch!

[Pen Expers]

4902093 I don't feel like I was just owned, so it's okay.

[Bysen]

4902105 Give it time...

[Pen Expers]

4902167 Nah, man. You've said something about 'ands' and 'buts' but the only thing I've pointed out was the damn apostrophe.

[Bysen]

4902174 and delete comment...