Unusual Experiments
Nice Save was a professional. A Unicorn born in Canterlot who had trained at the finest medical school money could send him to, he had passed at the top of his class and earned his doctorate while others tried to get an easy ride by flaunting their wealth... or appearance.
He took pride in the fact he had started out actually knowing where the heart was in a pony's chest unlike most of his classmates.
That urge to excel beyond the pack had been the driving force of his career in Equestria. Where others returned home either joined existing clinics or hospitals, Nice Save chose to wander. Each town he visited had problems and medical challenges for him to over come but none had soothed his thirst for something that truly perplexed him.
After the Collision he had been one of the first to cross the Barrier to the Human lands. He had been the first to discover, isolate and create cures for the Earth diseases that where harmful to Equestrian ponies. He had devised a way of inoculating any further visitors before turning his attention to Equestrian diseases that could harm humans.
He had made short work of those as well and spread the vaccine to every medical institution around the world for open distribution.
Even so that lust for the ultimate challenge remained unfed.
But now he was staring at a young human male who was busy glancing from a copy of 'Basic Magic for Foals' to the rubber ball that was levitating a few centimetres off his hand. The human held a mechanical pencil in his free hand was jotting notes in the books margins.
As much as Nice Save admired human medical technology it was the more mundane things that he just couldn't get over. Ball-point pens and mechanical pencils being on top of his list of 'Best Human Technologies' by a wide margin.
Still, the conundrum sitting in front of him was of greater concern. The pony doctor's mind began by reviewing what it knew.
First; raw magic was toxic to humans, causing rapid necrosis of any flesh that was touched by Thaumatic Radiation. The effect was virulent and even a tiny amount of contact was dangerous enough to warrant a full limb amputation. Refined Magic, such as spells or potion, where harmless unless misused.
Secondly; Casting spells required that the caster have an internal supply of raw magic. Thus; humans can't have a magic reserve.
Finally; magic required a medium, such as a horn, to properly use it externally. Other species either use it internally, like Pegasi and Earth Ponies, or through another medium, like Zebras with their alchemy.
In short; what he was seeing was impossible according to all previous evidence. But such is the nature of science, when there is evidence that contradicts the established model, first double check the evidence, then if result remains the same then the established model must be revised.
Still, he needed more evidence before he could formulate a hypothesis on what exact was happening. He licked his lips and felt a thrill that hadn't coursed through his body since he was just barely a stallion alone with his first marefriend.
Finally fate had thrown the ultimate challenge at him.
Taking a ginger step forward he cleared his throat and said, “Good afternoon young man. I am Doctor Nice Save and I'm here to...” He chuckled nervously as the young man reacted to his voice by catching the ball and looking at him. In a fraction of a second. He continued, “I'm here to help us both better understand what you are going through and why it happened.”
“Nice to meet you Doctor.” The young man replied, “I'm James Gwyn.” He continued to look at the pony doctor for a moment before asking, “So what would be done with the information once you have it?”
“Well regardless of what is done with it the final destination of the information would be to be preserved in the Canterlot archive.” Nice Save commented, “As for between then and now? Who knows? We could even find a cure and turn you into a pony.”
Nice Save shrank under the piercing glare James cast his way. The young man growled, “Being human isn't a disease.” The ball in his hand started levitating again as he added, “Humans only go pony because it is either that or die.”
“My apologies.” The stallion replied as he took a step back, “I meant no disrespect. I simply couldn't think of a better term to use in it's place.”
The young man leaned back against the raised frame of his bed and sighed, “I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have snapped at you. It's just...” He looked at the ball hovering in front of him, suspended in a green light, “I kinda thought I would have hooves right now. Yet here I am getting my cake and eating it.”
“You wanted to stay human?”
“Yeah.” James nodded, “I can't think of a human alive, save those with some form of depression, who doesn't want to stay human.”
Nice Save considered the young man's words for a moment as he walked up to his side before responding, “Yes, that would make sense. I don't think many ponies would wish for the opposite either.” He hazarded a few steps forward and asked, “So, what are you working on there?”
James looked at the book he had scribbled books all over, “I'm an amateur scientist of sorts. I'm comparing how the book says levitation works for unicorns and what I'm experiencing.” He explained before sighing, “I don't bugger all about the ins and outs of magic so all I'm writing is impressions.” He let himself fall back against his bed and pillows before giving another sigh, “I guess, it's a way of making sure a part of me remains long after I'm gone and humanity has been forgotten...” He lifted the book and held it up slightly above his line of sight, “A few scribbles in a children's book marking forever the fact I existed.”
The pony doctor noticed a tear running down the young man's cheek and asked, “That is rather... forward thinking for one so young. Why, exactly, do you feel compelled to do so?”
“I always wanted to be a father.” the young man replied, “I know, it sounds silly, but that was always my greatest dream. Where other's dreamed of careers and riches I though only of finding a bride and raising a family.” He chuckled darkly, “Yet here we are, my world being destroyed and the one possibility I had to achieving that dream anyway ripped away by... I don't know, a mutant gene? The will of magic? Fate? Does it matter? I'm doomed to watch my world die and live out my years in the middle of a crowd and yet eternally alone...”
In the heat of the moment James swung him free arm down against the bedside table and, to the surprise of both himself and Nice Save, reducing said table to splinters in the process. The young man stared at the table in befuddled awe for a moment before looking at the pony doctor, hoping for an answer.
Nice Save glanced from the table to James and back again before muttering, “A magical surge...”
There was an awkward pause before James sat up on his bed crosslegged and coughed into his fist, “So... Doc... I take it the staff did some tests while I was out. What did you discover?” He asked, clearly trying to pretend nothing had just been utterly annihilated.
“Hmm?” the doctor blinked as he was snapped back to reality, “Oh! Yes, well... I should point that it is standard procedure to send a copy of the documentation of any unusual cases through to the Princess overseeing the Bureaus...” At the simple nod he received from the young man he continued, “For the most part you are just a healthy human male who happens to be able to use magic. However...” The sigh that James had been about to let out caught in his throat, “There are two... odd observations compared even the prior mentioned. First is that giving you additional Potion doses appears to do little beside accelerate your healing process , in short you can heal from a near fatal wound by simply drinking a dose of Potion.”
“Well, that sounds handy.” James admitted, “If I decide to take up Dragon Slaying or something in the future I'll be sure to carry a supply of the stuff.” There was a brief silence before the young man asked, “So what was the second thing?”
“It seems that each time you take a dose of Potion it increases your maximum magical output.”
“Well shit.” James laughed, “All I need now is spiky hair and to yell a lot while looking constipated and I could pass as an anime protagonist.”
“Actually...” the doctor added, “There was one experiment we where hoping you would agree to?”
The young man blinked and tilted his head slight as he looked at the pony, “What experiment?”
-----
The purple Alicorn alight gently on the grassy turf the temporary tent city made by all those that had been inside the destroyed Bureau had set up. Around her a token guard force landed and quickly dispersed to sure up the camps meagre defences. It wasn't much, but the white coats and golden armour of the few guards would be enough to keep casual threats at bay, and their training would leave the more knowledgeable threats away.
That only left the suicidal and the HLF, both equally dangerous and equally unpredictable.
Still, military matters where more her brother's department of expertise, she was here about a magic related anomaly. She would leave the soldiers to the soldiering while she focused on what she knew she could figure out. Hypothetically at least.
Shaking her head she reassured herself there was no magical puzzle she couldn't solve with enough time and patience. She was the Princess of Magic after all, there was no way something could stump her! Such a thought was inconceivable, almost heretical.
Taking a breath she turned on her heel and trotted straight towards the medical tent with a purposeful gait.
She was immediately stopped by a human female. It took Twilight a moment to remember the name of the human in front of her, having only seen her once before. She quirked an eyebrow as she silently invited the human to explain why she was stopping a Princess on a quest for science.
“Sorry Your... Um... Highness?” Sandy Valet stammered as she glanced towards the medical tent nervously, “But... you may want to take a raincheck on going in there...”
The former librarian blinked and raised her eyebrow further, “Why would I take a raincheck on investigating once of the most significant magical anomalies to ever appear on either world?”
“Well... you see...” As Twilight waited she noticed that Sandy looked plain ruffled and dishevelled, as if she had just finished a day pet sitting for herself and her friends pets. The reporter continued, “They decided to try and an experiment and I was waiting to get a one-on-one interview with James at the time and... well, I barely got out with my dignity...”
Unfortunately for Sandy that only made Twilight more interested in what was happening inside the medical tent. A determined expression found it's way as the indignant fury of being left out of an experiment with something she was so interested in filled her heart. She forced her way past Sandy and marched straight up to the door of the tent and through it open with her magic.
She froze.
It took her a full minute to regain her senses enough to begin to understand what she was seeing. In short, the interior of the medical tent had been taken from the controlled chaos of a triage to complete bedlam with ponies and humans scattered all over the place quivering in terror, and mirth strangely enough. The cause of their fear, and humour, was no where in sight.
Nice Save glanced at the Princess from where he hung, entangled in cords meant to hand lamps from, and shouted, “QUICKLY! SHUT THE DOOR BEFORE HE GETS OUT!!”
“Before who gets out?” Twilight asked right before she felt four limbs wrap themselves around her body.
“HII'MJAMES!YOURPRETTYFORAPONY!SINCEYOURSOPRETTYHAVEYOUEVERTHOUGHTOFMATINGWITHAHUMANCAUSEIHAVE!WITHAPONYIMEANIT'SNATURALFORMETOWANTTOMATEWITHAHUMANBUTIWANTTOTRYITWITHAPONYSODOYOUWANNATRYHUHUHUH?!”
“What did you DO?!” Twilight cringed as the human known as James nibbled on her ear.
“We fed him a litre of potion in under a minute just to see what would happen... current consensus is to call this state the 'Triple H State.'” Nice Save explained with surprising cheer considering his position.
“'Triple H State?'” Twilight deadpanned.
“High, Horny and Hilarious.”
The clack of hoof meeting forehead echoed around the tent.
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Rape time.
......I DINDT DO IT
Feed Pat to him.
4947773 You may want to explain what that means in the thread
Oh this is going to be good. *reclines against his tank with popcorn* Can't wait to see the bombs fall though... Explosions are cool.
Translation:HI I'M. JAMES ! YOUR PRETTY FOR A PONY ! SINCE YOUR SO PRETTY HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF MATING WITH A HUMAN CAUSE I HAVE! WITH A PONY I MEAN IT'S NATURAL FOR ME TO WANT TO MATE WITH A HUMAN BUT I WANT TO TRY IT WITH A PONY SO DO YOU WANNA TRY HUHUHUH?!”
Is this going to be Rated Mature in the future?
Lol
Awsome chapter, the ending was just hillarious.
ok I know what happened
earlier in his life he was a Afro maker
and because we all know Afros are magic he got magic powers and his superhero name will be Afro man
he will throw Afros that explode/heal/ or become something similar to a bullet at the scum of earth and uh earth 2.0 (the pony earth)
his teams name will be Crazy Wankers Making Afros or CWMA
wish these came out faster
DBZ References are best references.
4948474 No
4951288
Thank you for your answer. Cause it might turn into an unexpected surprise for me.
4951490 Once I pick a rating when making a story I stick to it. I want my readers to know exactly what the limits will before I write everything, that way there are no unpleasant surprises.
It's a rule I set myself throughout the decade I've been writing fanfics.
TIL: That 'alight' means to land like a bird, and not be set on fire.
The original image I had in my mind of that scene was hilarious.
4950365 Falcooooooonnnnn high five!
WHOOPS
THERE GOES SANITY. IT'S BEYOND INSANITY.
4947775
very nice cover pic.very nice
love this story keep making it!!!
He became a human Pinky equivalent !!!
What's next??? Op there goes reality or is it gravity.
5155207 I'm... not sure what you mean by this...
5155210 It's better than the crud they serve at Mc D's at least.
5408163
Watching the speculation in the comments is probably the most fun part of being a writer.
Update. NOW!
Do kinda like this. Hope to see more.
Finally! An author that realizes that the potions are made of magic, and gives an actual explanation as to why they don't necrosis people too! Common Sense has finally been found!
RIP?
5586159 No, just development hell.
5586427 Ah so RIP.
[LOGICAL FALLACY] You say that raw magic is the only thing that causes the necrosis, but spells don't, and yet somehow the magical barrier generated by Celestia's spell she cast in panic works like raw magic?
Okay, This story is awesome! I must have more!
5605043 Is it? Or are there mechanisms going on that I've left unsaid so that I can amuse myself by watching people speculate in the comments?
5789757 Knowing you it'd be both.
5814887 Who the hell has toast with jelly?
Jam I can understand but jelly goes with icecream.
more please
so will there ever be more of this great story?
6179915 I'm trying, however I have no idea what to do in this next scene...
6179981 well if you need someone to bounce ideas off I'am here
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ah, man, i actually like this conversion bureau a bit. i usually don't. but this is good. its like different types of soda: a lot of them suck, but you eventually find that one that you fall platonically in love with.
6190150
My life.
*meanwhile in denmark...*
...HOW DOES HE KNOW
"Hvordan fandt den person ud jeg er dansker?"
yeahh... or you could be a murderous 12 year old schoolgirl.
or you could have an evil book, or eat super fruit,climb shittonnes of walls or you could have, like, 9001 weapons that you can pull out of nowhere.
I need more of this story
The triple H that is so funny make more plz
more
please make more this is very funny and the triple H is still funny
4961853
I'm kind of worried, when was pinkie pie horny
make more please