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Sometimes you find your calling in life. Sometimes your calling in life finds you. And other times you get hit by lightning while drunkenly walking home from a bar, only to find that your life will never be the same afterwards.
Come in, sit down, have a drink if necessary (cause it might be), and read about the curious odyssey of Shaun Davis as he finds his place in a new world; full of magic, friendship, but sadly for Shaun, no booze.
Actually, for most of the time writing this chapter I was listening to AC/DC. I hadn't thought of a name for it yet and well....when I heard "You've been...THUNDERSTRUCK," I knew what I wanted to name it. 
Ask and you shall receive. Perhaps by next weekend if I get my real papers done first. 
Thanks. So.....you don't want this to die in a fire then, right? 
No harm, no foul.
Thanks for the compliments. I really appreciate them. 
Since there are more positives, or at least curious to see what happens, comments for this, I will be continuing it. (I think I already said that though.) But first I have research to do on making different types of alcohols from scratch. 
Lots of love from a random guy!
It worked though, didn't it?
You'll probably see an update by this weekend. I just started chapter two a few hours ago (currently at 900 words), but I probably won't get to work on it again until Thursday. Don't worry though, my proofreader (who is freaking awesome and explains to me why I suck at the English language clearly and concisely) and I work fast. I started chapter one after an idea and a few shots of tequila on Friday night, and had it posted early Sunday morning. So I prom- ....er...hope for an update by Saturday or Sunday.
I guess the morale of the above paragraph is this: Tequila makes one type with vigor and clarity. 
For some reason, my brain has decided that your narrator/main character is being voiced by the Nostalgia Critic in my head.
Love the direction you chose for this story, by the way. Not many people have been able to successfully pull off a truly belligerent protagonist/anti-hero that is still relatable/likable. It feels very... fresh. Anyway, there's a ton of potential here and I can't wait to see where you take it.
Now that I had a chance to think about it, the one thing that stood out to me was your complete lack of use of contractions.
It's not a big thing, or even necessarily a bad thing. In narration it's justifiable. In Twilight, Celestia, and an OC's dialogue, it's justifiable. I'm just a little scared that if Pinkie Pie or Applajack show up in the story, their dialogue will also be completely devoid of contractions, which would be very distracting.
You probably know this already... but there's nothing wrong with using contractions (I.e: you're, I'll, would've, etc). Especially when you're using a narration style that's so informal/conversational. Actually, it might even improve flow, considering the informality of the main character.
That's just opinionated nitpicking, though. I want to reiterate that I thoroughly enjoyed this story.
Psht I've read this five times over by now... at least.
Being serious though, this took him forever to write. All that silly schoolwork getting in the way. I had to bug him about writing when he didn't have work... while he bitched and moaned about his word count like you wouldn't believe.
And damn that social experiment... You crazy person.
Thanks very much.
I will try my best...though if you ask my pre-readers, they'd probably tell you it is initially just the opposite.
Ah, this chapter was not nearly as fun as the things that have gone into Chapter Three so far.
Meliron...just...gah... 
Although yeah, that is probably all true. 
>>558783 That does seem rather sketchy, doesn't it? Hmm, how about some bacon instead?
Hmm, All I can say to that is:
And hope that it involves the verbal obrital strike known as Pinkie Pie
No liking. Although, he might get along with Luna as a friend of some sort. Who knows?
Also...I found this and just imagined Shaun's reaction to it...
>>577638 I meant a liking as in a friend but in some circumstances sexualy. Further more meaning will he get along with Luna and Trixie and other background ponies then better with the main 6? 
Aaaand that picture is starting to creep me out 
, the more you look at it, the more creepy it gets
Ah, well...who knows. I couldn't see Shaun getting along with Trixie in this story. More than likely she'll ridicule him or something. Luna though, well...outsiders tend to band together a bit, don't they? I could see some sort of friendship there.
Trying to be as vague as possible.
Also, now you know what Shaun thinks of Twilight's smile. Enjoy.
Well, figured I'd return the favor, and I've gotta say... I'm really liking this. It's irreverant, but avoids the typical brony in Equestria mistake of making the human an unlikeable ass by the simple expedient of having him know when NOT to be a jerk. I particularly liked Princess Celestia's characterization, but...
She seems just a little too quick to use mind-altering/invasive magic. Perhaps this is something you are working in as a plot point, but at some points she actually does tread into potentially "What time is it Kids?" "It's raping time." territory.
Still, the story doesn't take itself too seriously, and I was perfectly willing to roll with it, because it was honestly funny at times. Take this as you will!
Thanks for writing this. It was an enjoyable read.
She does, doesn't she?
I actually thought about that one for a while. To me it came down to she could either be nice, or do what is necessary to keep her subjects safe. Ultimately, well, I couldn't decide on that one so I just flipped a coin. Sadly for Shaun, he lost that toss. But his luck is never going to be too good.
Another chapter read, another comment.
Overall I'm liking this story and it looks like it's going in a very fun direction. I honestly couldn't stop smiling through most of it.
There was only one section that left me feeling really confused. When Shaun states that he was wrong about the Equestrian Language not being English I didn't really understand why that was the case. I think it's supposed to be that the writing form is different, but I'm not completely.
Well that's my two-bits. Overall 4.8/5. Good job.
It's not strictly going to be only show plot. There are just some episodes Shaun wouldn't be able to fit into. Also, he has WAY more important things to do with this time than stick to the show script (like invent alcohol maybe.)
Edit: Actually, that is his single greatest driving force perhaps.
Hey guys, it's only been 7 weeks!
Er, right. Uhm ... uh, herereadthisanddon'tkillmeorRandomplease!
Yeah, it's been a long time ... Hopefully this 15k word chapter satisfies you guys. Now, you just have to wait another two months for the next one!
Just kidding (hopefully ...).
And thus, Meliron the cartoon squid has spoken.
Hmmm I expected Shaun to be at least a little nicer by now. Comparing it with the previous chapters, it seems like he has gone backwards, but maybe that's just me....
And by the previous chapters it also seems like Twilight and Shaun should have a slightly better relationship (not best of friends, just not THIS bad). Adding to that, the way he interacts with the new ponies seems a bit off and keeps me as a reader a bit disconnected with him and not able to empathize.
Besides that, good story and keep it up.
Right now, they are both annoyed at what is happening. Twilight's just annoyed in general because of what's going on. Shaun, he's annoyed as well. I went with the idea that they are basically just rubbing each other the wrong way. I kind of based it on what happens when both my girlfriend and I are having a bad day, and are around each other. Negativity just feeds off of more negativity.
This is probably going to be the low point between the two though. I agree that you would think it would be better by now, but it might take a few timberwolves, manticores, cockatrice's, a cliff, and a river to improve Shaun's mood.
I grew up using two spaces as this is what was taught to me numerous computer classes (apparently wrong by today's conventions even though that was in the 90's.) Personally, writing something of this length, it helps distinguish sentences for me while writing.
Now, I know a number of people in the know have said the one space rule is the correct way, but I tend to go with this article's reasoning:
Why two spaces after a period isn't wrong (or, the lies Typographers tell about history)
Ignore his caustic nature towards the end; it was written as a rebuttal to someone that didn't do their homework and made up history in another article. His basic argument in the end though is just not to worry about the use of a single to double space after a sentence so much. My preference is just two spaces for any document not submitted for a grade.
Had to look that one up. I've tried to read that one apparently, but it's not my type of thing. I tend to not like stories where the human is turned into a pony. Nothing against that particular story, just not what I'm interested in.
If anything, Thunderstruck was more inspired by totallynotabrony and his crackfics. I wanted to try my hand at writing something funny, create a somewhat caustic character, and write about his "adventures" ... or rather "hell" while in Equestria.
Anyway, thanks for the compliment! I'll try to keep up the good work.
It's a lot of fun to read, keep it up!
Okay, I must first say that the way this story is going is epic. Great characters, and great plot idea. I really really really want to read more, but it will have to wait till tomorow. 
I do have a question... Are you planning to do the whole season one? That would make it about 20% more epic. Just sayin.
Well, I did say I'd get it out on Monday. And it was 10 PM for me ... so bwahahahah!
Yeah, seven weeks was due to a number of factors to be honest. I released a second fanfic for instance; tests were another issue. Ideally, I'll have chapter four in a month.
It depends on the episodes. I know for sure there will be at least three covered from season one. I'd like to shy away from more except in an offhanded mention at times.
Will he be good Friends with Berry Punch? She is the town Drunk for the matter.
And will be good friends with other OC characters? Like...Derpy *Ditzy doo* Hooves? or Zecora or Octavia or Carrot Top or even Surprise (note: im just saying some of my favorit OC characters, you don't need to take any of them).
Oh and Shauns Ipod (Iphone whatever) May it rest in peace R.I.P (Because I forgot to say it in the last chapter)
This is really spectacular. Honestly and truly.
This is one of those few stories I've read that genuinely make me laugh out loud. One such example of that is 'Through the Eyes of Another Pony'.
I mean, sure, other fics will make my face break out into a manic grin that would terrify many small children, but this is just something else.
Maybe the sense of humour used here is just something I'm particularly receptive to...?
*Shrugs*
Well, whatever you're doing, you're doing it right.
... but I'll never understand just how this story doesn't have more likes.
That's my life's motto.
You can't lose when you are technically not wrong. I consider it a draw.
Thank you very much! 
Friends might be too strong of a word for Shaun to use in the context of ponies (at the moment.) But yes, a lot of those mentioned will be introduced and grow on him as time goes by.
Eh, likes would be good. But in the end, I enjoy writing this story a lot (even if this particular chapter wasn't my favorite), and a number of people seem to enjoy reading it. That's what matters mostly for me. Well, that and putting Shaun through hell at times.
Oh look ... a comment from Invictus! *clicks on the link*
... I somehow saw that one coming.
I was starting to wonder about Twilight being in Canterlot so long, then she bust in looking for "predictions" and shit got real. 
Gotta say, the idea of Mr. Sarcasm trolling Nightmare Moon is amusing as fark.
Also, screw your Easter eggs, man! It's not even Easter!
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