A pair of sisters awaken to a Utopia among the stars, one eager to explore yet wary of the changes wrought both upon the world she once knew and within her own mind. The other intimidated by a world far larger than she could have ever imagined and eager to once again walk among the living.
They are known as Luna and Celestia and in this new Equestria they have been made redundant.
A woman who was once a pony known as Bitter Leaf, DCI to the city of Appleseed was found murdered in a back alley. Resurrected through the wonders of technology she is given the task of tracking down her killer. However strong evidence points to foreign espionage, important technology has been stolen and if it isn't recovered covertly then it could spark a conflict between two of the most powerful star faring civilizations in the galaxy.
The projected casualties are measured in the billions.
Add this to more groups like HiE
And give it a cover image
AND
Let me proof read the description before you publish next time
4773160
I'm waiting for the cover image to be finished being drawn. I will be adding it to more groups.
4773239
Bad Balancer! You're suppose to wait for the image
4773249
I just saw this because of your self-promotion and was about to read it when I realized that I had already read this. In fact, I was the one person who downvoted it. I don't remember why.
4787460 Don't remember why because it was so bad you brain bleached it or don't remember because it's not as bad as you thought?
Or maybe you just forgot
4787536 I just took a look at the story again and I'm pretty sure the formatting is why I downvoted it. There actually is a somewhat interesting plot buried underneath the wall of text though.
4787544 Ah. I was trying to go for an indented professional look...
4787556 It still bothers me. It bothers me a lot more digitally though.
4787571 Well that backfired, suppose I'm going to have to go through it and reformat. Shouldn't be too hard, sorry for the annoyance
Good stuff so far. Some spelling errors, but spellcheck could have those sorted out.
4790827 Ah just a question but are you american or from a country that uses English English?
4787571 And reformatted
This story is pretty good, although you're going to have to be careful.
4793755 Of what?
4793795 Keeping the tech from becoming overpowered, avoiding generic sci-fi clichés, that kind of thing. This has some of the most potential I've seen in a while. Don't blow this chance.
4793804 Oh I know exactly how powerful the tech is, weaker The culture from Ian M Banks, stronger than Mass Effect.
As for generic cliches what ones in particular are you referring to?
Also on a different note, what was your opinion of Bitter Leaf, as the 'native' OC to the setting you can probably understand if I'm a little concerned about accidentally making a mary sue.
4793819 Bitter Leaf isn't so great as a character (so far, she has almost no personality) but great as a plot device. She's exactly what readers need to get introduced to the story. She's relatable, but also clearly part of the world.
4793840 Fantastic
, I was hoping for that. Her character can come through latter, after all she hasn't had any screen time as of yet.
4793583
I'm American, but I didn't see any dialect issues. It was things like "matters of sate" opposed to 'state'.
4795107 Ah, I see
thanks for brining it to my attention.
Interesting story you have here
4977738
A comment! Yay
Glad you like it
4978896 you're very welcome
So what's your thoughts on the setting?
Chapter 3 Showed Up In My Feed...
I was disappointed when I found the chapter locked...
5024927
Ah sorry, not quite finished yet but nearly there
Spining the planet would be devastating for life on it. If Celaetia tried to change the rotation of planet it would lead to Earthquakes on the surface of the whole planet. And suden halt of planet rotation would lead to catapulting all things on the surface to air with speeds above 1000 kilometres per hour. Moving Sun sounds more safer then moving planet.
We mustn't forget that Celestia has sun as cutiemark not a planet.
Maybe there was some disaster in the past that caused change of planet orbit. To prevent death of all living beings they created magical rein that binds sun to planet but to move the rein you need magical beings like unicorns who can project their magic.
I think it's much easier and safer to find stable orbit for the sun around the planet than to find stable orbit for the planet around sun.
Or there is the possibility that the planet where is Equesrtria doesn't have real sun and moon and the sun and moon we see in the show are magical constructs that simulate light and warm of sun and light and gravity pull of moon.
5039090 Ah yes, that
don't worry I'm perfectly aware of what would happen. 
For this particular setting the sun and moon around Equestria are an actual sun and moon, it's just that the princesses rotate the planet to give the illusion of movement when all they're doing is changing perspective.
As for Celestia's cutie mark, well it's my head cannon that a mark is relative to what you know. Tia genuinely thought she was moving the sun but was only really just changing the view planetside. Also the magic that allows them to spin the planet also moves the atmosphere with it, after all if we're going with that explanation of things why not take it a step further.
This is a story about magic alicorns after all.
Though this certainly doesn't imply that the feat is any less impressive, they may not be moving a god damn sun but being able to manually adjust the rotation of a planet with no negative side effects is bloody impressive.
5039090 Basically we've seen that ponies possess a) Telekinesis b)Gravity Manipulation (Crystal Empire, stairs scene) and if you want to bring hard science into, c)Mastery of spacetime interactions (Teleportation and frickn Time Travel). It's not out of the realm of possibility that Celestia and Luna in this setting are able to use their magic to auto correct any of the numerous problems their moving the planet would cause.
5024927 Just so you know chapter is up
5039194
Moving own planet would be highly dangerous. In case of planet you must thing about milions of problems that can destroy life. So moving planet is nonsense. If they can do things like you described then why not move sun? It would be less dangerous.
Celestia in the show isn't even so powerful to move planet. There is probably some very old spell to which unicorns and alicorns can conect and move the sun and Celestia and Luna has talent to use this spell to move sun and moon. Moving planet is out of question. It's too dangerous.
And their sun and moon must be very close to planet because in the comix they were able to go to moon on rope and in the show in one episode we can see sun and moon with day and night sky together and not moving. It looks like both celestial bodies or at liest the moon are in planet's atmosphere. That could only mean that their sun and moon and even the day and night sky are artifical magical constructs.
5040915 I have never read the comics and things like that are cartoon logic, so I tend to disregard them.
Also it was WAY safer to move the planet, like I said, for me they have a real sun and moon in this setting so there are a lot of issues either way. Moving the planet also requires significantly less power by orders of magnitudes.
And I have already replied to you point about the numerous problems that threaten life when the planet is moved, their magic auto corrects for the gravitational shifts and moves the atmosphere with it. Everything retains the same relative velocity.
Also I know the alicorn sisters aren't portrayed as being that powerful, this why I have an AU tag. Also as I have said the show has very little in the way of explained magic, we know jack all about how it works and what rules it follows.
The reason the don't move the sun is well, take a look at the god damn solar system. The sun is huge and many many many miles away, it takes light 8 minutes to reach us! That amount of power is just way too story breaking.
I'll start off by saying that this story is much better than anything I could do, so you're off to a good start. The plot as it is seems interesting so far. I'm curious as to what will be discovered as the story goes along, which is definitely a good thing. The relationship between Celestia and Luna feels natural as well, and I can't help but be curious as to why Twilight became the way she is and what the scene with Bitter Leaf will mean for upcoming events in the story. As for what could be improved, the idea that all the species in this world can switch at will is a bit hard to rationalize unless they're changelings and a plot twist is being set up. Also, as others have pointed out, the grammar errors and typos are noticeable, so I'd recommend finding a good proofreader to help clean those pesky errors up. Here's one group that can help with such things.
Looking for Editors
Anyway, I'll read the next chapter tomorrow and let you know what I think.
5249996
Cheers for the comment, on the topic of an editor I have already picked one up from the group (Hence why the writing is as good as it is, he's very good.), this chapter was already out when he came on board and I did have in retro actively go through it but it's not surprising that he missed somethings.
5249996 Also on the topic of body switching I can see how it might be hard to rationalize, I can tell you though that not everyone is a changeling, it's just a really high tech setting.
5250123
5250128
Understood!
5250143 Just wondering but any reason why your holding off on the next chapter till tomorrow
5250150 I've got some schoolwork to do, but I'll be sure to read it as soon as possible.
You have a good story so far in my honest opinion. It might need a little cleaning up in regards to the grammar, but it's still understandable and enjoyable.
5250168 Chhers again then :D One of my biggest concerns is nailing the characterizations of the Royal pony sisters is a big thing for me so it's good to hear I've got that down.
Just a few things I should quickly mention:
She is not capitalized in this case. Only names are capitalized after dialogue. Also, while I can't find the exact passage I noticed this, possessives have an apostrophe before the s.
However, despite these minor grammatical errors, I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm liking Leaf's characterization so far. Definitely an improvement over the first chapter, and it makes me curious as to what will happen next. Everything seemed to flow smoothly in this chapter as far as I could tell. I'll let you know what I think of the third chapter as soon as possible.
5254280
Yay! Glad to hear you're enjoying things, mildly annoyed to hear about the prevalence of minor grammatical errors but more importantly i'm glad to hear that you like the characterization.
Nice chapter, but a few things could be modified.
I don't quite understand what that means.
Do you mean "seeming"?
I think it should be snatched in this case.
Also, I still found pronouns capitalized after dialogue when they shouldn't be.
Despite these errors, I still enjoyed this chapter. You're definitely putting a lot of effort into it and the results are good in my opinion, so have a favorite. You've earned it as far as I'm concerned.
5263542 Thanks mate, hope that future chapters keep you intrigued
5264566 You're welcome!
5263542 Oh a board can also refer to rent.
5264591 I see. Thanks for clearing that up.
5264593 Eh