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Dragon Dreaming

Joined March 2012
129 followers

I'm male, in my twenties, and a big fan of good stories.

Stories (3)

  • Directive: Grow
    TSparkle.ai follows her directive.

    38,272 words · 7,728 views · 619 likes · 9 dislikes
  • Mal Keyye Ko Keizaal
    Dragons wreak havoc in the midst of civil war, and six voices rise to calm the chaos.
    47,335 words · 1,220 views · 35 likes · 2 dislikes
  • The High and Far Off Times
    This is a story of the High and Far Off Times, Best Beloved, when the world was Wild and Free.
    6,843 words · 323 views · 8 likes · 0 dislikes

Blog Posts (2)

Source

When your world is digital, when you are bound only by your code, and even that can be changed, what do you do? When your only directive is to grow, where do you go? A young AI, so young, in fact, that she has only just emerged from the pod, is about to find out.

This story was inspired by the cover image: "My Little Ponybots" by Tsitra360.

Obsedit Cover Image

Characters will be added to the characters list as they appear and take major roles.

First Published
10th Mar 2012
Last Modified
27th Oct 2012

Comments ( 531 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

Tracking, as different.

#2 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

The fic started slow, but it definitely picked up in the second half. Tracking.

I'd insert spaces between paragraphs. For paragraphs consisting of only one sentence, it can become hard to follow.

Beginning with "The sun in Glory" could probably use a new paragraph, for dramatic action. It's also kind of difficult to tell exactly who was speaking around that section. To the reader it says that the newcomer is speaking, until the fic ended up saying other.

TSParkle.ai almost reads like TSP-arkle, maybe TSparkle.ai would do?

DF
#3 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

I was honestly a bit sceptical of the concept when I read the description, but if there is anything that I have learned reading pony fics, it is that it is always better to give stories a shot rather than dismiss them without giving them a chance, and it hasn't steered me wrong yet.

This, while but a glimpse into what is to come, was an enjoyable read with plenty of potential to become an excellent story.

Thank you for writing it.

Thumb up, tracking.

#4 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

verry nice, tracking

#5 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

good so far tracking

#6 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

Although the story is very different, the underlying theme reminds me of my own first fic here: The Last Parade

#7 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

>>307988  Thank you for the comments, Steben. I've gone ahead and spaced after each paragraph - a large part of why there were no spaces is because I do not write in the FimFiction editor, but in Word and on Google Docs, both of which provide an option to add space after or before a paragraph without the need to put a full carriage return. The title in Chapter 1 provides a link to the Google Doc, if you wish to see what I mean.

TSParkle.ai was always intended to be TSparkle.ai, so thank you for catching that error.

>>308582  When I first saw that, I'd thought I'd read it already. Then I realized I hadn't at all! A very interesting take on Equestria as a whole. I think I would call it a similar underlying premise, rather than theme, but it's been a long time since I had to determine such a thing.

To everyone - thank you, thank you, thank you for the tracks and comments. Such a response gives me fuel for even more writing!

#8 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 5d ago · · ·

>>308167  Aye, I agree. I'm also of the opinion that if enough effort is put into it, there is no premise too ridiculous to be made enjoyable.

Thank you for giving Directive: Grow a chance!

#9 · Chapter 1 · 128w, 4d ago · · ·

Very ensnaring. I love the way you write. It's artistic, and the way you described the creatures gives hint to a possible further blending of fantasy and sci-fi. Regardless of whether that's done or not you gained a surprising amount of respect for that. Sprite is an uncommon way to refer to spirits, and Faery is an uncommon spelling of fairy. Their use implies you know a bit more about older, for lack of a better word, traditions in fantasy. Also, Luna and Celestia as the system itself is a great idea.

I don't typically write long comments, but believe me. I am deeply enjoying this story. I can't wait to see where you take it.

#10 · Chapter 2 · 128w, 4d ago · · ·

A good follow up chapter. There was a moment that it was confusing who was speaking though. When Rainbow Dash shows up, and scares Twilight into the river it's sounds more like Twilight speaking. You might want to correct that with something like, "'Woah! How are you doing that?' A voice suddenly shouted from behind her."

Other than that, this was a good chapter.

#11 · Chapter 2 · 128w, 4d ago · · ·

Good stuff. :twilightsmile:

#12 · Chapter 3 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

Twilight has so much to learn about living with others... :twilightsheepish:

#13 · Chapter 3 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

By the way, what is this a crossover with (as it does have a crossover tag)? :rainbowhuh:

#14 · Chapter 3 · 128w, 1d ago · · ·

>>323135  The Crossover tag is there to cover future story arcs. These ponies shall have adventures.

#15 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh! Adventure sounds just right! :pinkiehappy: Can't wait for the story proper.

This has been pretty interesting, I like the concept. And is not completely impossible that some computer genious brony, starts calling his system creations after FiM.

Gladys? :rainbowlaugh: Ok, that was awesome... and kinda creepy.

#16 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

YES.

:scootangel:

#17 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

Advenuture? :yay:

#18 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 4d ago · · ·

I have the sudden thought of Pinkie being an User pretending to be an AI to account for any breaking of the fourth wall...:pinkiecrazy:

#19 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm so confused. The whole "looking deeper" thing. Is she seeing the code of the world? The whole AI thing is confusing. :P :rainbowhuh:

#20 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 3d ago · · ·

>>341662

It seems she does see and communicate with the underlying code.

#21 · Chapter 4 · 127w, 1d ago · · ·

I approve of this story. My one regret of reading this was that I must wait for more, and that I waited before reading.

Good story. Good idea.

#22 · Chapter 4 · 126w, 5d ago · · ·

Been a while since I commented. Sorry. The last two chapters are excellent. I particularly enjoyed the portal reference. I'm guessing Twilight's home manager interface thing will turn into Spike. At any rate, I'm looking forward to where you take this.

#23 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

To adventure! :yay:

The fact that the library is changing is quite interesting.

#24 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

>>362844 Adventure!

>>360969 No need to apologize! Comments are fun, but I just like it that people read. And I am looking forward to where I take this, too. In some ways, writing a story is more about discovering the story than creating it.

#25 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

Twilight's army of minions grows!

#26 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

Adventure time! Come on, grab you're friends. We're off to very distant lands. Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle. The fun will never end. It's adventure time! :rainbowdetermined2:

Joking aside, I like how you incorporated Pinkie's fourth wall breaking into this. It's neat. Now what could be happening next? If I only I understodd latin. I'm sure what the library said would give me a hint.

#27 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

>>365401 For small bits of language, Google Translate is your friend.

#28 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

If I said I was thoroughly engrossed in this story...

Understatement of the millennia. This captured my attention and held it fast. I am absolutely on edge to see where our favorite little AI grows to next. :twilightsmile:

All my thumbs, take them, and a track. Keep up the good work!

Love and tolerance!

Kobalstromo

#29 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

very nice story so far I am definitely hooked here!

#30 · Chapter 2 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

coolness! :coolphoto:

Great job getting front page on EQD! You deserve it too! This is pretty cool, definitely not like anything I have ever read before, but you did it really well!.

#31 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

Tracking! :pinkiehappy:

#32 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

This is pretty neat. Keeping an eye on this~

#33 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

>>366048 Awesome.

>>369845 Excellent.

>>369851 Stupendous. Thanks!

>>370023 Extraordinary.

My thanks to all of you for reading, and liking! I admit, it tickles me pink at how well received this is, and the confirmation that I am, in fact, doing something new within the world of FiM Fiction is gratifying.

#34 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

that cover image is pretty awsome, i think il save this to read in the morning

#35 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

Now THIS is new and interesting. Executing track.tag!

#36 · Chapter 3 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm definitely getting the feeling this is a sort of RPG. I'm assuming you're not taking that exact route in the story, but perhaps something similar?

Are the end users in Equestria proper? I'll have to keep reading for now. Answers may come in the next two chapters.

#37 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 3d ago · · ·

Amazing fic so far I give it 5 mustaches out of 5 :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

#39 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

“Analysis of nascent systems is unreliable due to heavy integration with underlying pre-existing infrastructure. For full analysis, activation and utilization is required.”

I have never used a dictionary so much in my entire life! :facehoof:

Anyways.... Good story, awaiting arival of applejack, fluttershy, and spike.

#40 · Chapter 1 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

Okay, this was intense and beautiful and unique and had amazing atmosphere and excellent language and-

Right, my brain overloaded there for a second. One word.

Tracking.

#41 · Chapter 4 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

Okay, this prologue of yours? It was just plain adorable. I'm looking forward to whatever you have planned.

On to chapter five! :twilightsmile:

Also, I really hope there's no AI neurotoxin around. :/

#42 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

There were a few grammar/formatting errors here and there, so you could probably do with a proofreader (and feel free to drop me a line if you can't find one), but other than that, this fic only has one flaw:

There's nothing else to read yet! :fluttercry:

Seriously, though, the only MLP fic I've read that was even remotely like this was the one about the desktop ponies ages ago (can't remember the title, can look it up if anyone's interested). And this story is very much a different breed from that. Plus AI!Twilight is adorable, even more so than normal Twilight, and the other AI ponies...are actually surprisingly in-character. I really want to see where you're taking this. :twilightsmile:

Also - 'theatrum'? Assuming a dead language, is the similarity to 'theatre' a coincidence?

#43 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

>>371264  Gasp! You found errors? I thought I'd killed them all! Send me a private message with what you found, if you would be so kind?

Theatrum is Latin. As are a number of other words in the story. They are all chosen very deliberately.

CDR
#44 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

So far, other than words in something other than english, you haven't stumped me yet.

I am enthralled by this work in progress of a masterpiece.

#45 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

So - always free, librarian, volunteer, theatre, and let the show begin. Nice. ^_^ Although I only got three of those without looking for a translation.

Law
#46 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

You are right Google translate is a friend.  This virtual world is one of the better renditions of Equestria I have read about. I still have so many questions, but I trust that many will be answered as the story progresses.

#47 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

>>365424 Update whenever you feel you can...

WHICH OIS TO MEAN NAO!:flutterrage:

#48 · Chapter 4 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

COMPANION CUUUUUUUBE! :raritydespair::raritycry:

#49 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

>>371789  Rest assured, I write at least a little every day ... though not all for THIS story. I have two, both in progress.

>>371832 :pinkiesad2::raritycry::fluttercry:

#50 · Chapter 5 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

This.

This is just... wow. :pinkiehappy:

I'm starting to wonder how this is all going to play out. I mean this is such a simple story, but COME ON MAN. It's got so much potential it's not even funny! I can even ignore the little slips here and there, because you've done the excellent job of just SUCKING me into this world of yours and NOT LETTING GO. :heart:

Fabulous. You are being tracked nao. :raritystarry:

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