Link to sequel
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5481/MLP%3A-A-Favor-Returned
Eeyup. Here it is. The fun has begun, now to find a spot to make the Doc run!
-
Also, for the alternate sequel,
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/5793/The-Necro-Walk
Unlike the description given at the end of this story, The Necro Walk will be following a different route: Mythica is in the process of being conquered than already having been, but as stated before he'll need to win the trust of the ponykind once again. Another thing different is that his age will NOT revert.
Whichever storyline you choose to pursue (if not both), enjoy! : )
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123305
Really? I thought the sketched face was mediocre at best, and ridiculous at worst. Interesting.
As to being obvious...Keep reading.
125333
In hindsight, it was a little cheesy to have Jacob write back, and burn the book page-by-page instead of just tossing it in the fire. Hell, the fire could've burst out and onto the walls behind him, only leaving burn marks that spell out his final threat to Twilight.
126467
Have you ever tried to burn a book by just tossing it on a fire when it's thicker than a hundred pages? it's not as easy as you might think. Usually what happens is the cover will burn, and the first page or two or even three ( on both sides) will burn under that, and all the exposed edges of the pages will burn or char inward a bit, but after you've left the fire to burn out and you come back to it after it cools off (if you don't poke at it and stir it up after tossing the book on), the majority of the pages in the center of the charred book will usually still be intact.
The most efficient way to burn a book (when you don't have a paper shredder to shred the pages first, which then makes the paper burn easier than a pile of dried pine needles) is to tear out the pages two or three at a time, crumple them a bit, and toss them on. Sometimes magazines will resist being burned too if they're thick enough. (Usually they aren't)
On the 'burning things' note
, Fire is not a toy. 
Take it from a careless guy that once singed off one of his eyebrows and has stepped on hot coals barefoot many times while not paying attention. 
Remember kids (and teens and adults too), burn things responsibly, and no matter how much fun it may seem
152388 Bill and Ellis are my fav survivors
.
Curse you the sacrifice dlc!
324381
I doubt it is. Most of the research that I did for this story revolved around looking up origins and meanings of names that I'd come up with, along with a few legends. You'll find major evidence of this further along in the story.
For the money amount I did use google to find out what the translated amount would be in US currency, but unfortunately I've never left this country, so needing to know these things wasn't really a priority in my life.
329722
We're already several chapters into both of the main two. A Favor returned only has a few more chapters left for me to do. Necro Walk will probably turn out to be longer.
330029 Yeah, I'm gonna be reading those this weekend. Can't wait!
Alright, finished.
Well to be honest, I've got a mixed opinion on this. It's more violent than I think a MLP fanfic should be. It's a self-insert story (at least in my opinion), and I'm not especially fond of those. And I didn't care for either epilogue (bad form to introduce a cross-over so late in the game, and the other one was way too bleak).
On the other hand, you've overcome one of the main flaws of a human in Equestria story, by giving the human some way to make a difference on Equestrian terms (using magic) rather than human terms (blowing the bad guy away with a BFG).
I applaud all the background you've put in with the first unicorn horn and the history of Jacob's ancestors. I also commend the audacity of opening Equestria up to all humanity (without going the way of the Conversion Bureau series). It seems pretty clear that you've thought all of this through very carefully, and were willing to follow through on many of the consequences of your ideas.
Another thing I liked were the little bits that came out of nowhere. That scene of Jacob and Fluttershy dancing, for example. The character of Queen Elizabeth II (however far she may be from the actual Queen). And the first time the parents came back into the story. Some readers might complain about how the griffons became a major part of the story with next to no foreshadowing (we knew they would be allies of the dragons, but not that they would become the key players), but I loved it. I would have liked to have seen more from Gilda, though I understand how you had more than enough characters to juggle as it was.
What else? For the most part, I completely agreed with all of your decisions about plot elements to not include in the story.
So my overall opinion? Promising, very promising. Keep up the good work.
651831
*Bows*
662173
You write "praise the maker" & variants at least seven times in the story.
Not that it is a bad thing, I just noted it.
668494
Oh. I forgot about that.
731281
probably for the same reason you drive in a parkway and park in a driveway.
1248828
Because I like Left 4 Dead and the idea of killing those undead cannibalistic-Pony bastards.
1248994
Bear in mind, this was written before the episode where Granny told the story of Ponyville being founded and I didn't really think much of the non-developed grandmother character at the time. I needed somepony to die that would impact the characters on a personal level, but I have a bad habit of not actually killing the characters that I or others are fond of even though it hits a bit harder emotionally which is why this story ended the way it did.
And if you think Granny Smith dying is bad, you should have read the Escape From Bug Island/Zelda/semi-self-insert crossover I wrote a few years ago. I killed off almost the entire main cast at one point.
1275587
If it's safe in your area and you can see the stars and the mosquitoes aren't too thick you should. It's relaxing. 
It's not as if my Spell-check has 'Ye Old English' in it (most of the time it gets marked as wrong even when it's not), and considering almost no one speaks it anymore except at the Renaissance fairs and such and in movies and TV shows that take place in that time period (and not all of them use old-English nowadays) and only a handful of the roughly 900 or so books I've read (including graphic novels and children's books) over my lifespan, I think one word being incorrect ain't so bad. Besides, you know what she meant, right? 
Yes. Or, at least she thinks that she did.
1275888
Luna knowing about Humans is better explained in 'MLP: A Favor Returned', and the bit about trouble following the Lighthands is also covered there in more depth. But aside from that, which was written later, think a bit; both Unicorns and Dragons, according to the journal, used to be around in the original journal-owner's time, and there was a mentioning of Equine Forest, which is where the Gateway that led to Equestria was on Earth. With this information, one could assume that just as Unicorns had been to Earth, Humans might have gone to Equestria, and in Greek Mythology, there is tell of a winged horse named Pegasus, and this story was around a couple thousand years before the date given in the journal.
Several ancient cultures worshiped a Sun and Moon Deity among their Gods/Goddesses. Is it so hard to theorize, given their daily and nightly duty, that Celestia and Luna might have been the origin of these Deities (in that universe)?
To Luna being out and about, have you never felt the desire to go on a night-time stroll just too see the area you live in at night and maybe look up at the stars?
Her doing her duties in regards to the night is what needed to be done. The alternative being that she sat around at home and did nothing while her sister still carried on night and day 'rotation'.
To getting the word 'be-ist' wrong,
The part about them not being born was to be part of a prequel that I started but lost interest in and never finished (and probably never will, now). There is a brief reference to the explanation in future chapters of this fic, when Celestia is speaking to Twilight and SPOILERS, but I don't remember if his family name was ever mentioned. Been too long since I wrote/read it. Reading my own works when I'm not looking for mistakes feels like tooting my own horn, as it were.
Lastly, to things not adding up, there's a few things in the show that don't add up, either, such as during the reenactment of the three tribes coming together to found Equestria. The flag they planted at the end of the play showed Luna and Celestia, and yet they had not been mentioned once during the play, nor had they apparently been around until much later.
The story starts good but the protagonist becomes so bland and simplistic and lacking noteworthy flaws that I decided to call him Shrug. The end fight is also anticlimactic. There was so much potential in the premise but the story wasted it.
1544277
i never was much good at writing final fights.
As to him becoming 'bland', at what point does this begin so I know where to improve in the future.
Really, once i had a basic personality-frame established for Jacob I no longer really felt the need to elaborate further and chose instead to focus on events occurring in the story itself and (trying) to keep the show characters involved in-character at least for the most part. Since this seems to have been an error, I'd appreciate any constructive advice you can offer.
1654744
whoops. I'll fix that sometime later this week. I'm sleepy right now, though.
1820596
Oh.
Took me a second to get that one.
2176063
Who's Commander Shepard? Do you mean from Stargate Atlantis? That show had Wraith; what's a reaper? And why would there be Klingons when this has nothing to do with Star Trek?
One of these days I'm going to need to go back and edit her name. At the time I was just spitting out whatever names came to mind. I guess I could make the excuse that she has an accent which explains the 'Rosa' bit, but then I'd need to mess with the rest of her speech too. (Gol-den Rose-sa)
2782025
Can you not take away the sense of achievement I get from making a smart comment by saying something that makes sen-hold yer horses.... Celestia raised two giant balls of light for a thousand years daily and still does one every day. The elements turned a being into stone and made a pony weaker... AND THE ELEMENTS ARE ALL POWERFUL?! SHE FLOATS A GIANT BALL OF GAS THAT'S MILLIONS IF NOT BILLIONS OF MILES AWAY ON A DAILY BASIS! Plothole #82455 in the mlp universe. Celestia alone is stronger than the elements. EoH is unimportant. Smart pony doesn't delay. Can I have a hug from best pony(Luna) now?
1822352
2782025
2813145
Ooh
An argument/debate
TIME TO GET INVOLVED
Celestia had her ass handed to her on a silver platter by Queen Chrysalis
EoH are used to cleanse evil (and as far as we know, make garden ornaments)
Celestia's magic is probably going to burn things in a, by pony religion, holy fire. But since the being that "moves" the Sun itself got whooped by an insect hybrid looking thing I believe most would be calling bullshit by now.
Now lets throw this all aside
I am going to say to go with Twilight due to the fact that the guards got their asses also handed to them by changelings. Trained, armored, and possibly armed guards. Got their asses handed to them. Twilight and her six untrained friends beat more changelings than the guards themselves.
Now that I said my part.
IM OFF TO ANOTHER PART OF THE INTERNET.
TALLY-HO
2817870
Yes but from what we can tell from rank, size and usable limbs(horn included) Crysalis is the bug equivalent of an alicorn. Not only that but she'd been taking the love from a powerful unicorn and converting that to magic. Plus Celly had already raaised the sun. I MAY HAVE MENTIONED THAT MOVING GIANT BALLS OF GAS TAKES A LOT OF ENERGY! Shift the sun raising to Luna(best pony) so that Celestia can come back all refreshed and kick some flank.
2817870
Perhaps you also forgot one weakness... War has been non-existent in Equestria for a loooooooooooong time... Like a 1000 years. It makes sense that training will have become lax.
2818891
(Not really taking a side)
Not to mention all that cake she's rumored to have been consuming.
3022076
I know and i kept reading and since it is not a fluffy show universe, then the fact the guards are fucking useless, the elements keep getting owned in the most crucial moments save few cases and Celestia was ready to let Elements of Harmony get fried to 'save the peace' i declare that the whole bloody nation should have died out ages ago due to piss poor leaders and military in a world full of monsters. I just can't keep reading it since my brain wants to kill me after pointing those flaws over and over.
3022177
So be it. *Shrugs*
3043443
Pretty much. One of my later fics explains why this version of Humanity can use magic when in contact with Unicorn horns.
3081880
You can't prove that!
3078735
What about the unpredictable weather? Or the villainous government? Or the chavs that wander the streets speaking in text talk?
3318735 I see. It's really just a focus, isn't it?
3320992 I've heard of a book series where a wizard's staff absorbs magic from around them, maybe they could make something like that?
3329707
I think I know what series you're talking about; read something like that in middle-school. Heck If I know what the titles are now, though. Don't remember. *Shrugs*
Not really. and it has to do with your previous question
3329698
The sequel, A Favor Returned, explains why Humans can use magic at all. As to the here and now, no. They really do need the horns. It has to do with how the Humans started out on Equestria instead of on Earth.
3331297 oh. So if humans were native to Earth in this they'd be magic-capable? Also, how hard would it really be to make a staff like that? Unicorns undoubtedly do the same thing with their horns, so using a horn, making a staff like that wouldn't be too hard.
3334681
In regards to making a 'perfect staff' as you called it, you'd need something that could maintain the horns.
You see, just as a copper pipe eventually wears down from years of water flowing through it, the horns eventually wear out from magical energy flowing through them. Now, when the horn is attached to the living body, just as a muscle is torn up a bit while exercising and then it the body rebuilds itself, so too does the horn become more durable as the Unicorn uses it. Unfortunately, once removed from its owner's body, it's no longer being repaired, and the wear and tear stays until it eventually falls apart.
To make a staff last forever you'd need a repair spell active on the staff either after each use of it, or perhaps you'd need to somehow attach it to the Human using it so that his or her body would fix it over time (assuming that the subject's body would not reject it and try to get rid of it.)
But in the case of the repair spell you'd need to know exactly where each wear on the staff occurred if it did not happen evenly everywhere (which, assuming the staff was made correctly, it should) in order to repair it, and if you're repairing your staff using your staff, it seems a bit pointless.
-
3334681
No. Earth in and of itself has no magic. At least not anymore, what with Humans having had exterminated Unicorns from it in the past. Because Earth of this (fic) universe imitates what happens in Equestria (though not perfectly event-for-event, obviously) it is quite likely that a breed of Humans did evolve on their own, and then interbred with the Equestrian Humans later. I just had not thought of that at the time and did not put that in either this fic or its sequels.
The simplest and laziest way I can explain it is to simplify a bit from a conversation in the sequel:
SPOILERS BELOW.
Humans and Ponies were genetically engineered by another race a LONG time ago when that race mixed their DNA with both the Earth Ponies of that time and what would become the Humans, giving Ponies wings for some and horns for others and leaving the rest the same. Humans were closer to being apes back then and when their DNA was altered that became a smarter and gained the ability to walk upright due to their altered shape. Humans being able to use magic is a side effect of the shared DNA that they all possess. Humans had not been designed to use magic, but when the DNA of a Unicorn or Alicorn comes into contact with living Human DNA the two react and interact. This is why a Human loses the ability to use magic as soon as he or she lets go of the horns; the 'circle' is incomplete.
3335656 I see, to recap though, a perfect staff is possible, but it would take years of magical study, practice, and work.
3349089
Yes.
3349241 cool. Did anyone make one?
3349252
Not as far as my current storylines are concerned.
3351948 okay then.
Oh god, I just realized you were the author to this fic. One of the first HiE's I ever read, and one of the best in my opinion as well.
4069610
Well that's a boost to my ego!
Thanks.
4207429
I wrote this fic back before the episode with Iron Will.
4301563
No it didn't, 
but I wasn't thinking. I guess I could make the excuse that his mother used that 'reasoning' and told him that and he was just repeating it, but it'd be a rather flimsy, and lazy excuse.
) and I've not ridden in a Taxi cab since I was five.
At the time that I wrote it it made sense!
4301691
yeah, I know crap about their money system (I used Google to get that answer and the 'point 8 pounds' bit came along with it. I asked what 100 dollars would 'translate to'. I got that.
And yes, looking back, that dude would have charged a HECK of a lot more than that.
4791042
they would, you are correct. This is another case of 'i wasn't thinking in-depth when I wrote that'.
4793638
No, I just got tired of reading where it says 'he or she swore in their native tongue/language' and then didn't actually write anything.
4880260
Don't know what to tell ya, mate. Endings were never really my specialty save with comedy-themed fics. Like that experiment-clop fic I wrote. Most readers found that funny. Albeit gross.