• Published 24th Jul 2014
  • 5,464 Views, 65 Comments

A Mile in Her Hooves - DStone39



It isn't easy being fabulous. Nor is it being Twilight's assistant. Why does magic have to be so difficult on ponies?

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Chapter 1

A Mile in Her Hooves
By: Nickel Bristle

How could you ever know what it's like to be totally obsessed with a pony only to find out they're obsessed with somepony else?

Those words that Rarity said in a fit of tears and sobs still rang in the young dragon’s head even weeks after the Ponyville Days festival had ended and Trenderhoof had left to some other part of Equestria to continue his writing.

I don’t know, Rarity. You tell me how it feels to know that I might never get a chance to be with you.

Spike sighed heavily, flopping into his bed upstairs in Golden Oaks Library while Twilight still did her work throughout the night. He turned over as he pulled the covers closer to his chest, feeling the part of his heart ache as the same scene played over and over.

I know I’m young and… well, not a pony. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less. And yet, with every day we are getting further and further apart as you keep trying to find that special stallion that you want.

Closing his eyes, Spike gripped onto his pillow as he constantly tried to fight these recurring feelings that made his moments before bed even more difficult than usual.

Maybe, just maybe, if you knew what I felt for you, Rarity, you would understand exactly like it is to love someone and for them to not return that same love back.

As the young dragon tried to sleep, a shooting star flew across the sky over Ponyville, between both Golden Oaks Library and the Carousel Boutique. For when a star hears a wish, they do whatever it is they can to make that wish come true, whether they’re a pony or not.

---

The next morning, Spike opened his eyes slowly expecting to see the ceiling to the library but was pleasantly surprised to see the top of the canopy over Rarity’s bed. Now, Spike had dreamt of this scene several times with a few involving a breakfast made of cake and ice cream as the two woke up in a sweet embrace. But the young dragon couldn’t help to feel that this wasn’t a dream. The sweet smell of lavender that permeated Rarity’s pillows, the soft and cushioned mattress of her bed. Everything matched up perfectly from the few times that Spike had been in the mare’s bedroom for a short while.

Still looking straight up, Spike felt his tail swish against his back and sat up. He had been expecting the usual set of his spines to scratch against his scales, like every morning. But in this new setting, he felt a soft wave of curls brush against his plush back. Looking around the bedroom, Rarity was no where to be found. Once Spike turned his head back to looking at the bedroom door, a flash of indigo covered his left eye.

“Rarity?” Spike asked aloud before putting his hooves on his mouth. For one, the voice that came out was not his own, for it was more melodic and soothing than his usual tone of conversation, even in the morning. Secondly, he had noticed the two pair of perfectly white hooves that he had instinctively put against his muzzle in shock.

Pulling off the covers, desperately hoping that this dream would end as soon as Twilight woke him up for his morning duties, Spike had noticed the decent nightgown that covered his pony body that matched his exact thoughts. Fumbling with his hooves on the nightstand, he clumsily held up a mirror as Rarity’s reflection looked back with the same worried expression that he had.

Sweet holy Celestia! I’m… Rarity?! Spike thought to himself, not willing to risk another outburst in the mare’s sweet voice that was so unfamiliar from his own. At least in the mind that accompanied him in Rarity’s body he still heard how he usually talks. What happened last night? Did Twilight mess up a spell or something?

Running his hoof against his other, still getting over the feeling of losing his claws, a loud sound was heard at the door as an impatient filly was banging her hooves against the door. “RARITY!”

Caught off guard, Spike fell out of the bed, tangled in the covers from the bed over the casual nightgown. “Sweetie Belle?! What are you doing here?” he asked, feeling that would be something that her older sister would say aside from the loud thump of falling out of the bed.

“Mom and Dad dropped me off for the day before I went to school! I want breakfast!” the filly replied from outside of the door, trying to open it from the outside.

“Wait right there, Sweetie Belle!” Spike shouted, still trying to escape the clutches of the tight folds of the covers, shaking his hooves away from the silk comforter. “Don’t come in!”

“Why not! I’m hungry!” she whined, jiggling the handle even more than she was as she tried to get into the bedroom.

“Then go and make yourself something! I’m not ready for the day yet!” he shot back, looking up at his mane which was slightly frazzled from both the night of rest and the shock that he had woken up as Rarity, of all ponies, this morning.

“But you said that I can’t use the kitchen ever since that one morning where the fireponies had to come and put the fire out!”

Closing his eyes, Spike had little patience for the filly as she was normally and even less having to play the role as her older sister. “I’ll be right out, okay Sweetie Belle?!” he shouted, grinded the perfectly crafted teeth in his mouth instinctively.

“Hmph! You’re more grouchy than usual in the morning!” Sweetie Belle yelled back through the door before trotting off. Spike let out a sigh of relief as he turned back to notice Rarity’s bed in shambles with her covers scattered every which way around the room.

Now if I was Rarity, what would I do first in the morning? Spike thought to himself, holding a hoof to his chin as he looked around. Off to the side was a small bathroom with a shower and he gulped as the thought ran through his mind.

Rarity isn’t one to start the day without a shower. His heart started to beat faster as he clumsily walked to the bathroom, using his hoof to close the door behind him to start the morning routine.

---

“Spike! It’s time to wake up!”

Twilight, why in Equestria are you yelling in my room, darling? And you should know better than I do that I wouldn’t let Spike sleepover at my place. Rarity slowly woke up expecting to find the sleeping mask over her eyes and the soft cushions underneath her. Instead she was met with the shining bright sun coming in through the window in Golden Oaks Library, packed tightly into a small dog-sized bed against a bookcase.

Dear Luna! What happened last night for me to be at Twilight’s library? She turned her head to see Twilight walking up the stairs and sigh as she reached the top of the staircase.

“Spike? You’re still in bed? Come on, we have a big day ahead of us!” she chirped up, using her magic to pull the covers away from Rarity. A chill ran over her as the warm blanket was ripped from her claws.

Twilight, why do you keep calling me Spike? Rarity thought to herself before seeing the dirty reflection of herself in a nearby mirror. She saw the young dragon’s body sprawled out on the small bed, looking back at her in the reflection with big eyes. Wagging her tail, the action followed suit with the spiny dragon’s tail in the reflection and her jaw dropped.

“Come on, Spike!” Twilight groaned, using her magic to pick up the young dragon and plop her on her back, much to Rarity’s surprise. “I know you like to look at yourself in the mirror, but you don’t seem to be getting any taller, sorry.”

Surely this must be a nightmare! Rarity thought to herself, not wanting to risk her thoughts out loud as she held on to Twilight’s mane delicately with her new-found claws. The smell of berry shampoo seemed to wave in front of her face, noticing Spike’s talent for catching the best and worst aromas around him. Either that or Twilight did something to get everypony mixed up again.

As the mare hummed to herself, getting ready for the day of errands out of the library, Rarity cleared her throat in the least Spike-like way to ask something. “Twilight?”

“Hmm? Yes, Spike?” she replied, turning back to look at her.

“Did you do something to somepony last night? Like, oh, maybe miscast a spell?” Twilight giggled at the line of questions.

“Spike, you of all my friends should have more faith in my abilities in magic.” She rolled her eyes, dismissing the idea altogether. Rarity bit into the tough scales of her claws, unsure if she wanted to continue trying to find an answer to this mystery.

“What about…” she began, trying to find the words while getting used to hearing Spike’s lower-pitch compared to her own voice. “Have you seen Rarity recently?”

Twilight thought for a second before giving a soft sigh, standing in front of the front door. “No, I haven’t. Did you want to try and see her?”

She looked back to see Rarity nod her head wordlessly.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, dah-” Rarity paused, trying to choose her words carefully. “I mean, yeah! I want to go see her!”

Twilight looked at her for a few seconds as a drop of sweat started to roll down her scaly forehead. Opening the door, she focused back on her errands. “Okay Spike, we’ll go check on Rarity as soon as we’re done."

Rarity sighed in relief as a scroll and quill were magically floated into her claws, unsure of their purpose. “But first, we have work to do!”

She tried to smile and hold the quill steady, feeling uneasy as she started to read through the checklist.

---

Coming out of the bathroom with a puff of steam, Spike wrapped a towel decently around his pony body slightly more relaxed with the situation at hoof. It wasn’t a seven-hour bubble bath, but it’ll do.

Walking over to the vanity mirror, Spike used his unicorn magic to style Rarity’s mane into the signature coiffure that she always has and did the same to her wavy tail, magically twisting it into curls. He couldn’t help to press the tail up against his plush pony coat for a second before tossing the towel aside magically into a dirty clothes hamper which was almost always empty, because of the mare who owned it would always wash her clothes the second they got dirty.

Taking a deep breath, Spike looked at the beautiful reflection of the mare in the mirror before lowering his gaze to the various pieces of jewelry in front of him. But one such jewel was missing as his heart began to ache. It was the fire ruby that he had given Rarity on his birthday. Slumping down on the ground, he pressed his forehead and unicorn horn against the vanity base and closed his eyes.

I thought she would keep that forever? Did that jewel mean anything to her? Spike asked himself as he opened his eyes slowly with the realization that he was leaning against a decently sized drawer in the vanity. Using his magic, the contents of the drawer shined brightly as his eyes opened wide.

It was the fire ruby in the golden setting that made a necklace among so many other mementos of Rarity and Spike’s friendships. Every card and gift that he had ever given her was here, stashed away for safe-keeping. It wasn’t an outlandish shrine behind a curtain in her closet or on the main floor of the shop, but it felt like this collection of everything that Spike had meant to her was closer to her heart because she kept it hidden like this.

Spike held his hoof to his heart, feeling as though Rarity was right behind him. He closed the drawer with the hoof and smiled, taking solace in the fact that the mare had not completely forgotten about him. His thoughts were put to ease as he stepped out of the bedroom to the sound of more crashing coming from the downstairs floor.

“Sweetie Belle!” he shouted, running down the stairs to check on the damage that Rarity’s little sister had done. Sure enough, a smashed plate was on the ground of the kitchen as the smell of burnt toast filled the room.

“I’m sorry Rarity but you took way too long with that shower of yours!” the filly apologized before pointing a hoof at her big sister. Spike couldn’t help to feel his cheeks redden at the statement. Still, he tried his best to play the role that he was cast into this morning and cleared his throat before addressing the filly.

“Never mind that, Sweetie Belle.” he said, trying to mimic the rhythm of Rarity’s voice. “I’ll clean up here and make you some breakfast.”

“About time!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as she sat down at the table with a wide smile. Using his magic, Spike did his best to sweep away the pieces of the plate and throw the burnt-to-a-crisp toast in the trash. The filly couldn’t help to notice how her sister was doing the chores as Spike put a fresh set of bread in the toaster.

“Uh, Rarity? Is something wrong with you?” she asked, looking at her big sister with a raised eyebrow.

“Of course not, Sweetie Belle! What would make you say that?” Spike replied, trying to keep a cool tone in his voice to not give away anything.

“Well, it’s just usually you’d get really mad at me and tell me to go to school early if I broke something like that.” She brushed her backhoof on the ground idly.

Spike thought for a second, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Then again, he could help improve the relationship that she had with her little sister. Much against the script of the role, Spike went up and hugged Sweetie Belle in his hooves.

“I would never get that mad at you, sis.” he said, feeling the filly return the hug. “You might make a mess, but it’s nothing we can’t fix.”

Breaking away from the embrace, Spike used his magic to float a plate of perfectly cooked toast in front of Sweetie Belle as she took a bite of the breakfast. He smiled as the filly quickly finished the meal and hopped off of her seat.

“Thanks Rarity! You should take more of those long showers in the morning more often!” Sweetie Belle chirped as she smiled innocently to Spike. He smiled back for a second before the realization of the statement hit him, making his cheeks redden again.

“That’s enough about the shower! Time to go to school, little filly!” Spike quickly said, pushing Sweetie Belle out of the kitchen with his hooves. Sweetie Belle giggled at the reaction, getting her school bag before waving her big sister goodbye. He smiled and waved back before slumping down on the chaise lounge behind him, hoping the rest of the day would not be this exhausting.

Several hours or so later, the all-too-familiar sound of Carousel Boutique’s bell rang, ripping Spike away from his nap of passing out on the lounge chair. Sitting up, he had to think quick about an excuse on why he couldn’t make any dresses today. With a short cough and a swift whisk of his magic to make a heavy blanket appear, Spike felt a horrible cold come over him. “I’m sorry, we’re closed because I’m sick today.”

Spike’s eyes widened as he saw himself and Twilight walk in through the door of the shop, much to his surprise. He couldn’t help to notice the Spike’s reaction at the choice of quilt that was wrapped around him.

“Oh no, Rarity! Is there anything that me or Spike could do?” Twilight asked as she wrapped a hoof around the mare. The young dragon on her back was instantly hit with the sweet aroma of the shampoo that Spike had used on his mane this morning and almost knocked him off of his seat.

“Actually, if it’s not too much trouble, can I talk to Spike?” he asked, trying to process exactly how he was asking to talk to himself.

“Yes! That sounds like a marvelous idea!” the young dragon shouted before holding his claws at his mouth. Twilight looked at the two with a curious look before shrugging and making her way out the door. Once the Alicorn mare was out of earshot, the pony and dragon looked at each other.

“I would know that diction anywhere!” Rarity said from her dragon body.

“Yeah, only Rarity would say something like that!” Spike said from his pony body. The two looked long at each other, still confused as to how the two switched bodies like this.

“Tell me, did Twilight pull something funny on you Spikey-Wikey?” Rarity said as the mare smiled, even while hearing his petname in his own voice.

“Not that I know of. I was going to ask you the same thing!” he shot back, no longer keeping his voice back to mimic Rarity’s.

“Strange. Oh, and I must say, darling, your job is quite exhausting when following around Twilight to each and everything that she has to do. We even had to fly to Canterlot to speak to Princess Celestia about something!”

Spike couldn’t help to chuckle at the comment, but through Rarity’s body, it came out as a filly-like giggle. “Yeah, I guess you got a good look at what I do for you sometimes too.”

“Whatever do you mean, Spike?” Rarity asked, tilting her head at the mare.

“I mean, following you around and helping you out. You wouldn’t do that for me… or you… or…” Spike sighed, still trying to make sense of everything in his small dragon mind. Rarity thought for a second before walking up to the pony and holding her claws against her cheeks as Spike’s heart began to race.

“Spike, you know that I care a lot about you. And I’m sorry that you felt hurt during the whole ‘Simple Ways’ debacle.” she began as Spike watched on from the opposite perspective that he saw in his dreams. “It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I have a bad habit of only thinking of myself.”

Spike stayed silent, waiting for the negative side to all the words that he was hearing through Rarity’s ears. The one thing that would crush his dreams once and for all.

“But you do know that right now, I can’t be with you, darling. It doesn’t have to do with your age or the fact that you’re a dragon. I think you should be looking for that special dragon to make you happy instead of focusing so much on me.”

Stepping back, Spike looked at Rarity as she stood before him as a young dragon. With a long sigh, he only had this much to say to the mare inside of his body.

“Rarity, if you could do me a favor?”

“Anything, Spikey-Wikey.” she replied with a smile.

“Look at the seventh book in the bookcase next to my bed. There’s something that you need to read but I’m too much of a chicken to tell you myself.”

Rarity nodded at the instruction before turning to the door. “Twilight! Can you come back in here?”

The Alicorn stepped back into the shop, looking at both Spike and Rarity. “Alright you two, something must be up. Both of you have been acting strange lately and watching through the window, you guys had a long talk about something.”

The two looked at each other before turning to address Twilight. “We switched bodies.”

Twilight blinked at the news, looking at Spike and Rarity. “What? There’s no way. And before you ask, no I did not cast a body-swapping spell last night!”

“Twilight, you have to believe us!” Spike pleaded in Rarity’s voice.

“Yes, darling, it’s true!” Rarity added in Spike’s voice.

“Alright, prove it.” Twilight asked, holding a hoof to her chin. “Tell me something that only Spike would know and only Rarity would know.”

“You slept with Smarty Pants in your bed until Celestia took her away from you in your third year at the Academy.” the mare stated flatly, much to Twilight’s embarrassment.

“Darling, need I remind you of the ‘special request’ that you asked of me after the Crystal Empire Princess Summit and your wild adventure?” the young dragon added, forcing Twilight to cover her face in her wings.

“Okay, okay! So the both of you are telling the truth!” She flapped her wings, trying to get the red out of her cheeks.

“And?”

“Help us out, Twilight! I can’t be doing jobs like Spike forever!” Rarity pleaded, getting on her knees.

“I can look for a counterspell but that could be dangerous since this isn’t a unicorn’s magic to begin with.” Twilight began, trying to think of a solution. “If this is still the first day that this happened, it could be that this is only for a day or three. Why don’t we get some sleep on it and if you two are still swapped in the morning, then we can try some spell to fix it?”

“Umm, Twilight?” Spike asked, rubbing his hoof against his other.

“Yes Rarity… I mean Spike?” she replied, getting the two mixed up.

“Is it alright if I spend the night at the library? I don’t want to be here alone by myself.”

Twilight smiled softly, still seeing the young dragon inside of her friend’s body. “Sure Spike. You can spend the night in the guest bed.”

---

As night fell on Ponyville, Rarity found herself unable to sleep in Spike’s bed of choice. It was a major difference compared to her usual sleeping arrangement, feeling as though she was sleeping on the ground instead of on any cushion at all. Fed up with the bed, she looked up at the bookcase and remembered what Spike had told her.

Look at the seventh book on the bookcase near my bed.

Reaching a claw out to the book, Rarity noticed the ruby red jewel heart embedded on the spine. She opened to the first few pages to find a few small sketches of herself in ink, much to her surprise. She didn’t take Spike to be much of an artist, but his sketches seemed to have a nice charm to them.

Once the pictures had ended, a short message was written in the most elegant script that she’s seen Spike write. Usually his writing was barely legible at the speed that Twilight would ask him to take the letters or lessons or journal entries, but this message had been carefully thought out and written as if he was trying to think of a way to say it.

“My dearest Rarity,

I hope that you enjoy this gift when I give it to you. I know that I’m not the most graceful dragon in your shop and sometimes you treat me as a kid because that’s all you can do. But know that my heart always belongs to you, even before I gave you that fire ruby. I won’t ever stop loving you because there isn’t a moment in time that I remember not ever loving you. I hope that one day we can be together but even if you push me away, I hope that you at least keep this book to remember just how much I do love you.

Always yours,

Your Spikey-Wikey"

Signed with an elegant heart, the final page has a picture that Spike had drawn of him and her together which brought a small tear to the young dragon’s eye. Holding the book close to her chest, she started to understand just how much he felt when she was slighted by the handsome writer pony that she obsessed on. The first thought that she had was that he would get over it like she did and move on, but after reading that letter at the end, she wasn’t so sure if that was the case. Closing her eyes, she drifted off to sleep as her heartbeat moved slowly in her dragon’s chest.

---

Waking up the next morning, Rarity was relieved to feel herself back in her own body with her elegant tail swishing happily underneath her. Slipping out of the bed, using her magic to make it neat and tidy for the next guest that Twilight would have over, she heard the gentle snoring of the young dragon, still asleep from the crazy day that they had.

Smiling, she slowly walked up to the sleeping Spike and kissed his forehead, rubbing a hoof gently on the spines on his head. “Thank you for the sweet letter, mi amor.”

As Rarity made her way out of the library, Spike smiled in his sleep as he was whisked away into one of the best dreams that he would ever have.

Comments ( 63 )

Nice lil' story.

Damn, I keep seeing your name on the new stories list!:rainbowhuh:

4742139 I've been uploading everything I've written for the Equestria Daily Writers Training Ground last spring. Thought it was time to share it with a more accessible audience. :D

love the story:heart:

Pretty nice concept. Only wish it could have been expanded upon.

4742528 Ah, well... it was mostly seen as a one shot for Equestria Daily's Writers Training Grounds. I sort of wanted to wrap it up as best as I could.

:ajsmug: i like iti love it!!!

Super cute ! "Twi Can we get some villina oat swerl ice cream?" Spikey asked:moustache:
Sure why? Wti returned the question,:twilightoops:
Spikey,,,"It must be great cause Raritys fridge is chuck full of the stuff, Must be yummy !":duck:

4743512 Heh... whether as a dragon or a pony, Spike does love his ice cream. :D

Good story, I give it a nice 7.4/10 :twilightsmile:

4743873 Oddly specific ranking... heh.

What stopped it from getting an 8 or 9?

4743909 Don't get me wrong, the story was awesome, it was a very good well-written story, it just I usually give people that ranking sometimes.

Nice, even if it has a vague feel of incompleteness to it. By which I mean that it feels like the intro to a story more than it's own complete story, even though it is that. Frankly, I'm not sure that it does anything real specific with regard to the title and doesn't quite seem to resolve the thematic thing. The end feels a tad anticlimactic somehow.

Nice short story.

I wanted to hear more about Twilight's 'special request'. :twilightblush:

4744999 *cough*

Might have to direct you to my sister account for that. ;)

4744122 Ah, so sorry about that! I was lazy and did a Google search. I found this gem and was like... "this fits really well!"

I'll be sure to credit the original artist when I get back on my computer. Thank you so much for notifying me of the mistake.

Comment posted by DStone39 deleted Jul 24th, 2014

4744175 Ah, well, one shots are kind of like that... my apologies if it detracted from your enjoyment of the story.

Good story, though the ending just didn't feel complete... I feel like it was really rushed, and it kind of takes away fom the story a little bit.

Fun little story. Doesn't feel entirely complete, as others have said. It did bug me that Rarity got the hang of having hands, and Spike of magic, as quickly as they did, but I guess that wasn't the point of the story.

tis well written tho i do feel it was a bit onesided i mean when ppl go to takel bodyswaping fics they usely ease into it and tho there longer it dose make for a marvalus read. I did enjoy the story regardless it actully quite an intresting concept. I hope to see more of ur work in the futer but for now peace. and good job. :twilightsmile:

An enjoyable read, thinking of Spike/Rarity's voice with Rarity/Spike's mannerisms was pretty funny. It just felt like a better story that had been overly abridged. It's not so much Spike picking up magic so quickly, he's been around Twilight while she studied it (extensively), he may have picked up enough to manage simple telekinesis. It's mostly that we don't get much time with Rarity as Spike other than reacting to Spike's feelings. Seeing her trying to convince Celestia that nothing was wrong, and why she wouldn't just tell her "Help, I'm Spike now!", could have been interesting.

Please make a sequel.:fluttercry: if not: :raritycry::raritydespair:

4746901 Oh... The last thing I want to do is make Fluttershy and Rarity cry... ;_;

But a sequel? I wouldn't even know where to begin... A different duo of ponies? A hero and antagonist swap... or is it that you all want more RariSpike? ;D

There may be something in the cards... The pot is percolating, so to speak when it comes to my writing process.

4747118 Yes, more Sparity. Maybe you could make it about their life together, make them learn a lesson about each other. Oh, oh, oh! You could make them start out by struggling to stay together, but then make them realize how important they are to each other!:pinkiehappy: I just thought the writing was beautiful and it kind left on a note that made me want more.

4747188 I'll keep your thoughts in mind. :)

Actually, I'm pleasantly surprised at all of the Sparity (or RariSpike, as I call it) support here, considering my... trilogy of sorts is getting the most attention. I figured all of you liked the more crazy ships between the Mane Six, not the one set up from the first episode... heh

4747118 do an afterwords kind of thing

“Okay Spike, we’ll go check on Rarity as soon as we’re done.

needs end " marks.
_________________________

4747118

More RariSpike. An afterwards, or even a small Multi-chap following the fallout of this would be adorable. Still nice little ship fic. Felt like it ended too quickly, but it was good nonetheless.

4747595 Fixed. Thank you for pointing that out. :D

Neat little one shot with a used-but-still-interesting premise. Could be better as a 8-12k word story with maybe a day or three of being switched, but since it was for a contest it is really smushed together into one morning/evening of revelation.

Well I've finished reading this so . . . let's get to the reviewing portion shall we!?

Synopsis/Plot/Tags:
Spike wakes up as Rarity and Rarity wakes up as Spike. Now both have to live a day as each other and along the way maybe one might have a change of heart about the way they feel towards the other . . . maybe . . . probably not . . . who knows?

First of all let me say that the potential for this kind of story is very little- chiefly because it's such a straight forward plot. You have possible shenanigans and in the end there is only three options:
1. Spike stops loving Rarity
2. Rarity begins to love Spike
3. Nothing changes

Yet at the same time while this makes the story highly predictable, it also means there is less chance of the author "not living up to the story's potential". You don't have to do much to do well for a story like this.

I'll have to admit I did like this story because of its vagueness and how it doesn't even resolve the conflict. It just leaves it be without an answer. Rarity discovers just how much Spike loves her and never gives an answer. It kind of leaves you with a sigh and the thought, "I wonder what will happen next?" And for me that's a good thing so bravo.

Since this is tagged 'Romance' and 'Comedy' I expect to get all mushy feeling and to laugh a little bit. While I'll admit I didn't particularly laugh out loud at anything there were quite a few things that were . . . amusing. The reveal of how Spike and Rarity proving they swapped bodies was probably the best joke aside the the implied things Spike did while in the shower (or maybe my mind is just going into the gutter for that one). Beyond that there wasn't anything very much funny. Romance, on the other hand, was knocked out of the park with this one.

Characters:
Spike:
In this story you not only get a very strong sense of just how deeply Spike is hurt of Rarity being ignored, as he notices the fire heart ruby isn't on display with the rest of her jewelry, as well as how much he loves her, with the letter telling her how he truly feels. Though the thought that he would so easily be able to use unicorn magic seems a bit far of a stretch to me; yes, you could argue growing up with Twilight would give him knowledge on how to do it, but there is a difference between knowledge and experience. Spike in this is done very well and in a respectable light, seeing as even though he is in Rarity's body not only does he not take advantage of the situation but helps smooth out her relationship with Sweetie Belle.

Rarity:
While a mushy Spike is easy to write, the true challenge would be the romantic angle for Rarity. In the show she hardly ever shows affection towards the little dragon- so for a story to have her gushing over him would be too out of character. This made it work perfectly (big praise as I dislike Rarity out of all of the mane six). The idea that, while she understands his feelings, she wants him to first look for a dragon girlfriend sounds very much like something she would do. We don't get to see Rarity in Spike's body that much, most of it being glossed over, but the comment she makes towards how hard Spike works is a nice addition; as well as the comment Spike makes about working for her.

Sweetie Belle:
Sweetie Belle just gets a cameo in this and is played up as the generic annoying younger sister.

Twilight:
Alicorn Princess Twilight Sparkle also plays a little role, though bigger still than Sweetie Belle, as the one to try and "figure out" how the two swapped bodies. Though all she really does is confirm both swapped bodies in the first place and then just suggested to wait for a day- in which the body swap naturally reversed itself. So she really doesn't do anything, but doesn't act out of character. I can see Twilight suggesting that as well and even telling "Spike" they will go visit Rarity once they're done working.

Writing Style/Grammar:
The writing style is just detailed enough for a story like this. Not too bogged down in describing every little thing yet not so lacking in detail you don't know what is going on. An anesthetic qualm I have is that the paragraphs aren't separated, nitpicking but it makes the writing look so much neater, which can be easily fixed. There aren't any major grammar errors that I could spot but a few oddly placed commas that add an unneeded pause to certain sentences.

Final Grade: A

4747918 Phew! You had me worried there when I saw such a length review on my story... heh.

Umm, thank you, first and for most, for taking your time to review in such detail what you liked and didn't like about the story. And since you spoke mostly of positive things, I don't have too much to reply in kind other than... thank you for such a good review. :raritywink:

4748289

No problem. If anything I view myself as the fan fiction reviewer for the community- though I'm highly unknown but I digress . . .

And yes I enjoyed the story.

This is... :raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry:

But this needs a sequel, something more than a "mi amor" only and more like "mi amor, mi luz, mi cielo, mi estrella morada y verde de mi firmamento nocturno"... :raritystarry:

Ups, too much spanish :twilightblush::twilightblush:

I like how everyone's first instinct is to blame twilight.

4748446 ¡Ay que papí! XD

Wow, another request for a sequel... like I said, the pot is percolating... :D

4748493 Hey... After Magical Mystery Cure, if something went wrong in Ponyville, I would blame Twilight. XD

4745032 Can't tell if serious, or...:duck:

Comment posted by TheGameGenie deleted Jul 25th, 2014

4748501
...I wasn't being sarcastic. Honestly...:ajbemused: Honestly, I would blame her for just about any magical disaster in Ponyville/ Equestria that happens within her lifetime.

4748740 I know. I just like that I pulled off that running gag that well. :D

4748742
Oh well neat then. Keep up the good work or something motivational of the like...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! :raritystarry: so adorable! :raritystarry: so many feels!:raritystarry: and a bit of funny :moustache:

rarity worst pony :yay:

4749798 Hey now, Fluttershy, how can you say that?

I like this. If only this was longer, but aw well.

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