Letters

equestrian post office15 stories ·6 members

Set in an alternate universe where Discord moves into Canterlot instead of staying in Ponyville after "Keep Calm and Flutter On," and where Tirek wins. It's my first attempt at sad, so constructive criticism is appreciated, but please be gentle :)

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Changeling-Drone

Changeling-Drone #1 · Jul 12th, 2014 · · ·

Not bad it does leave you with a sad feeling

Jakob the 1st

Jakob the 1st #2 · Jul 12th, 2014 · 2 · ·

Well, that was... New... Don't get me wrong, the idea is really good and the read was entertaining. Since you also wanted a little constructive criticism, I will give you my share.
For the size of your fic you made a pretty good job to characterize FS and Discord, though in my opinion FS was way too unsure and lonely. The idea that she feels a special connection to Discord is well placed, but maybe you should consider showing that the reason for FS caring to write to Discord is not so much for herself, but rather for his sake, since she knows how being lonely feels. I really loved the last Discord letter though, that was my favorite part!
I really feel kinda like a douche, but there is one last thing: it is really difficult, but the better you captalize the charafters in a fic, I helieve the better. You should try to sound more like FS and Dc, which I can't tell you how to do it. When raeding it just did't really feel like FS was talking to me...
Anyway, I am being nitpicking, I really think you did a good job and I cqn't wait to see more like that. Keep up the good work ^^

Lionpaw315