Ahuizotl plans on stealing something from Rainbow and her friends after they stole his victory, the title would imply their pets but... it's their pets.
Oh and CMC do stuff... kinda.
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- Member Since 10th Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Jul 8th, 2017
Flashburn37
Brony since season two started, Male, new to writing. League player... Dnd Player... Geek without the Nerd part(Seriously Computers confuse me)
Flashburn37
Joined 10th Aug, 2013 ·
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Flashburn37 · 2.6k words · 1.2k views
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i didn't actually read it(i don't do teen books) but i just felt the need to do that since i read the apple outcast
4673841
I put the "Teen" label on it due to one set of lines,
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Grave Robbers!"
"Cutie Mark Crusaders Necromancers!"
"I don't know girls, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"Yes I'm sure! We've tried everthin' under the sun to get our cutiemarks, maybe it's time we branched out..."
Theses lines set up the "sequel" which is happening at the same time and is about the CMC getting an ancient mind controlling tome of evil. Now that one deserves the label simply because it has necromancy. Oh and use of alcohol. On Cherilee. I'm of the opinion that you should always round up on the rating, after all the one thing I hate more than anything is when certain artists post certain pictures without proper labeling... Such as spoilers and innocence spoilers.
4673882 I'm sorry i had to see that quote
i just don't but i read the apple outcast
and i wuved it
4675452
I will try to show more restraint in the future, but feel no loss at not reading my work that I throw the teen label on. That's the point of the label right?
Yeah, I try to write stuff appropriate for everyone, but when I wrote these two stories I was so tired every idea seemed like a good one, and my friend on the other end did not help as he laughed at every dumb joke.
4675467 Idk
Also I know what that joke meant. It's ok... I've already been through health class...*shudders*
You don't know how hard it is for a girl to heavenly teacher in health class
4675567 heavenly?
I wrote have a male
4675574
now I see it... 
4675567
Oh um... wow I uh... hmm... I didn't mean to make that joke...
Interesting concept. While it needs a few grammar/spelling fixes, the main issue I had was that it just doesn't manage to pull any real laughs from me. I like the idea, but I think it really needs some sort of twist or humorous turnabout at the end to send it home. The pets just sort of acted like prisoners, and managed an escape plan. But it showed more that Ahuizotl was simply a failure (as always) rather than it was a funny (read: unexpected) outcome.
Don't mind me though... I'm picky, and my sense of humor is even more particular!
5121478
but hey, the way I look at it, it's all about growth. I learned quite a bit from this and sure I could take them down, but if I only put my best stories out... I wouldn't have many stories, if any out.
Thanks for the advice! Yeah, this whole story is a train wreck as is the sequel. You see, I had some unexpected days off and I tried a little experiment. I noticed I always like to write late at night, I figured that it meant I liked to write while tired. So I stayed awake for three days straight then wrote for several hours and pumped out two stories, this one and "the CMC do bad things" I looked at them later and just...