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A Shelled Tale

Source

Rainbow Dash brings Tank to his first Pet Play Date. However, the rest of the pets may not get along very well. And if they do, it probably won't last long. Opal is a snob and has a short temper, Angel is picky about everything, Winona is too hyper, Owlawicious is boring,and Gummy is just plain wierd and creepy. Can Tank survive his first day? Can he make new friends, or fail?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 8 )

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Frosty35

Frosty35 #1 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Arrival ·

Perhaps you should indent the paragraphs?
Other than that, this seems like it may be a fun read.

SugarPesticide

SugarPesticide #2 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Arrival ·

Bluh wall o' text bluh

Well looking at how the pets interact is an interesting change. There are some spelling errors and punctuations problems (it's/its for example), and there are missing spaces in some spaces, but it doesn't seem too bad otherwise. Just separate the paragraphs before they burn everyone's eyes, if you would.

Fernin

Fernin #3 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Arrival ·

Hah! Interesting idea. But let me reiterate what those above me said about wall-o-text.

thewaffler

thewaffler #4 · Mar 26th, 2012 · · · Chapter 1: Arrival ·

Really, it's not bad, the only thing I'd change is the wall o text format. I'd like to see more. I mean everyone seems to like your fic, it just needs some small fixes other than that It's a decent read.

Zariyo