Written for the Twilight Sparkle's Secret Shipfic Folder Contest. The core concept of the contest is to write a fanfiction generally classified as simply "awfully coherent". Hear my cry, for this piece of writing is not meant to be taken seriously and will be very, very, BAD. (Or if you do take it seriously, it's fine too. Whatever floats your boat.)
"The two titans circled each other, like dragons, like tigers, like sharks. Rarity, the immovable object, Pinkie, the unstoppable force. The East battlements exploded over Rarity's shoulder, as behind Pinkie, the sounds of shots being fired echoed in the palace. The pawns fell around the two deadlock queens...as they looked into each other's eyes, wondering what the hell they were fighting for."
I saw the name, and was really expecting a clop fic.
4615888
That was the minor intention.
Lol I don't really care what anyone thinks. The writing style was superb, save the actual theme behind the story that I failed miserably to justify in any manner. Despite the story this made for an interesting little read seeing as I do not read or write to many passages with words that flow so well. Good job.
4615940
My objective exactly. Thank you.
To me, bad writing isn't only about grammar or spelling errors, it's also if the subject at hand is incoherent or has been done to many times. *coughAlicorn OCscough*
I am very glad to hear that you think that the technicalities in the writing were fantastic.
4615987 Actually, the story style and manner of writing is quite compelling. However, I could not suspend disbelief about what was going on as far as plot goes. A prologue or other form of explanation about how this situation came about would make it more believable and more enjoyable. The way Pinkie was acting was totally out of character even by her random standards. And as for Rarity, that does seem to be a stretch even for a snooty stuck up <censor> like her. And I certainly would like to know what the hay a "fascist sovereign" is supposed to be. The nature of a Fascist Government precludes the premise of entitlement and inherited authority. They are elected by popular vote, although the legitimacy of said elections can be often called into question. And while opposites attract, I just don't see why they act like lovers having a spat instead of leaders of opposing factions.
4616061
To cut the extensive comment, I'll do my best to condense it.
First off, I would like to direct you to the "Alternate Universe" tag and the fact that I made this with a prompt at hand. It was not my intention to further elaborate on the idea, but instead to make a snippet out of said prompt. To elaborate though, the situation given was that Rarity was a heartless dictator, and Pinkie was a leader of a rebellion group.
Secondly, a "fascist sovereign" left a big question mark on my head as well, but again, noting the purpose of this write up, I wanted to convey the notion that for this half baked story was that the writer was simply throwing 'fancy' words all willy nilly to try and impress the readers, an error a lot of writers actually do.
TL;DR version: It's because of the AU tag, and that this was written for a contest to produce the worst fanfic written.
Thank you for your insight, also, I would like to encourage you to research on the prompt I was actually given. Head on over to the link in the description to see what my intention for this story was.
4616097 I must say that this is a failure at being horrible. Oh, and just change the term to 'fascist dictator' or 'mein fuhrer' and you'll be just fine. I suppose some of those things just had to be written like that for the PG rating then?
4615987 I must agree, overused themes do at times became quite the bother, however everyone wants their chance at writing their own little version of whatever they have read in the past. I'm guilty of if as well. Though I don't like alicorn OC's. Hell I'm not even a fan of Alicorn Twilight. Lol
4616387
I know, I honestly had a hard time writing bad. I really did. Alas, opinions, opinions, and I already sent it to the contest proper anyways.
4616604
Well let's be honest, we can't be original ALL the time. What we can do however, is write something amazing out of a given, 'overused' prompt. Although I still don't like OCs that much.
As for Twilicorn, meh. Doesn't do anything to me.
4620547 Oh no no I actually enjoy most OC's, just not when they godmod them. Hell I made my own cast of OC's, lol.
I'm sorry, but now I have to do this: