ﾉ'ᄊ ﾌЦㄎｲ ﾑ ǤЦﾘ ЩんԾ 乇刀ﾌԾﾘㄎ Щ尺ﾉｲﾉ刀Ǥ 乇Џ乇尺ﾘ 刀ԾЩ ﾑ刀Ð ﾑǤﾑﾉ刀. Щんﾑｲ 乇ﾚㄎ乇 ﾉㄎ ｲん乇尺乇 ｲԾ ㄎﾑﾘ?
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Sometimes, we need somepony to help pick us up. Somepony to show us that we matter. Even an upbeat pony like Pinkie Pie occasionally needs some reassurance. Luckily for her, a local DJ is there to help.
As always, let me know what you thought once you've finished reading. Hope you enjoy!
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Great story! Liked, favorited, and I'll feature it on the blog I work for!
4594408 Wow, Thanks!
Not bad. A nice simple what if with not a lot of psycho babble. You could have made it a heavy piece with Pinkies doubt, I've even read one were Dash didn't answer the question nearly as well and in a sad fix it had predictable sad results. This didn't go anywhere near heavy and kept it nice and fluffy. A nice read.
Now, I do feel compelled to point out that a "one shot" generally referrers to a story with just one chapter with no intentions of continuing the current setup. The whole doing something in one sitting is more of a challenge, either supplied or personal, to test writing skills.
4594712 Glad you liked it!
Also, thanks for clarifying what one shot meant!
wow. the plot was well thought out. Me:
the first thing that came into my head (not a dirty joke
)was this face 
Hey Charles. I thought I would start off with the bad things first. To begin with, there are a couple of times where words are used repeatedly in close proximity. This can be easily rectified through the use of a thesaurus. An example would be :
This could be changed to:
Pinkie stared at Vinyl for a minute. During that time, Vinyl felt eyes on the back of her neck and brought her attention to Pinkie. They locked eyes with each other awkwardly for a brief moment...
I also thought that the joke about vinyl never talking before causing Pinkie to jump it of her skin was a little rushed in its delivery and was glanced over too quickly.
As a final point before I move onto the good things, I thought maybe a slight physical change in Pinkie's appearance could have been a nice touch. Maybe her bright pink colour dulls a little or her hair, while still curly, could have become a little more limp.
Overall, I kinda get the feeling you were still trying to find your feet with this.
Now... ONTO THE GOOD STUFF... HUZZAH
What I liked.
First off, the grammar is fine. I can't fault you there. The Ms. Smile Smile Smile sentence through me a little, but I think that is more my ignorance if anything.
The characters' interactions with each other is good. You get a real warmth from this. Vinyl is true to her character whilst Pinkie is in a more docile state. Being one who's personality has developed into much the same as Pinkie's, I found this story rather gripping. I'm not gonna lie, I think Pinkie may share my context-sensitive manic depression and I have had this exact conversation in my mind before. The questions Pinkie asked were all relevant and the answers received were like that of a friend (which I think Pinkie has been to us all really)... Jeez I've been rambling
OK next thing. You clearly know your stuff. I get the feeling that you researched into this prior to writing which is a good sign.
Finally, I think that this is a pretty good example that not every story needs action, death, comedy or rediculous plots. It shows the power of character development as well as character interactions between those we don't get to normally see together. And is why I watch this show.
Its simply written, short and sweet and most importantly- conveys an idea. I never wrote a story without having an idea. Unfortunately this idea normally comes at the end and I have to lay bread crumbs back to the beginning, but the idea is discovered, presented, explored and resolved. Start, middle and end.
Overall, I thought this was good. A very good story. I will check out some of you later works.
Whilst there are a few things to improve on, as there always are, I am happy that this story was not an endless one like so many others.
Hope my endless rambling helped
Oh god its 1'oclock. I'm gonna be tired tomorrow lol
5746387 Hmm... interesting. I hadn't considered that certain phrases got repetitive. And yes, that phrase does go better than what I had. Also, for the slight change idea, I did consider that at first, but cut it because I didn't want to give the impression that she was depressed, since she, y'know, wasn't. As for the joke... well, can't say much, really. I thought it was a funny idea, so I added it in. I guess I could've slowed it down a bit, though.
5746467
I agree. That's literally all I have to say.
5746482 I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!
5746753 you are very much welcome
And in regards to how you don't want her to look depressed, I think that ultimately this story is your creation and if you want to keep it as it is then by all means, keep it as it is
I've reviewed your story for the goodfic bin (at last) and I had a really hard time deciding what to do with it, since it's a very nice piece, with very little to dislike, but doesn't do all that much to make it very memorable either. In the end, I've decided to reject it for now, but frankly, with just a handful of tweaks, I think this'd be a very nice addition to the bin.
If you do have it looked at, be sure to give me a call.
Details are here.
this was a good one. Very interesting touch. And a nice depiction of Vinyl. Liked and faved.
6475252 Thanks! Glad you enjoyed!
This story is brought to you on behalf of the group: Angry Review Recovery Group.
Name of story: The Talk by Charles Spratt.
Grammar score of out 10: 7.5
Pros: While I rarely read stories where Vinyl is concerned I tend to look away from, not since I hate her, I just find the fact she's the only character in MLP that has to yet to talk which is weird to me. But this one was done rather the way I would imagine a scenario with her Pinkie happening would go about, which is nice. Pinkie's issue, while valid is kinda of unneeded. I'm sure this was fleshed out in Party Of One, where Pinkie should have learned not expect the worst: from herself, and especially her friends. Everypony Pinkie has met loves her, but do have their limits when it comes to what she does. I find it nice that Vinyl is helping out other than one of her main friends: a change of pace. The way it was gone about could be different to a small extent. The chat about inspiration with Cheese Sandwich also had me thinking.
Cons: just a few, but not a whole biggie: just small things to improve your writing. This is probably just a small lookover, but periods at the end of your sentence, like I said maybe just a small mistake. Second, you should avoid, and I admittedly do this too, but avoid: the lavender unicorn syndrome after your have already introduced the character's name to the story. Before then, to me would be okay.
Notes: Nothing at the moment, just take the time to think about the scenario in front of you and after and you will be on your way, slowly but surely you can be on your way.
Yeah! Vinyl Scratch in the house! ^-^ wOOt!
I liked this. For one, Vinyl wasn't doing drugs. (That seems to be a popular theme) And she was in-character, too ^-^
Also, I ask myself Pinkie's question sometimes, I can relate.
Brilliant story, love it! ^-^ I rate this: Ten and a quarter muffins out of ten!
~SoDF
P.S. I totally read all of Vinyl's stuff in Nowacking's voice.
This is the one of the best stories I have read on here. Good job!
Lovely character interaction