Daughter of Chipshoulder and Legally Blonde, Unicorn, Canterlot School for Gifted young Mares and Stallions, Happy, Crazy pinkie-pie like personality. Loves Pink and Green.
After years of no flying and then years of work, Scootaloo can finally take her final test to become a Wonderbolt. But there are opponents in this test, and only one can win. One of those opponents is Rainbow Dash. Dash fractured both wings in an accident years before and so took the test later than she could have. But did she ever expect Scootaloo as an opponent?
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This is a very sloppily written story. Events happen and go by on a whim and nothing seems fluid or natural. One of the worst cliches (Dash breaking her wings and not being able to fly for x amount of time) is used and used poorly. Dash also becomes unrealistically cruel to Scootaloo during the test.
I suggest either getting any editor or just scrapping this story, nothing in here is original or worth getting invested into.
excuse me? It was just a first draft at a story I was doing just for fun. I honestly don't care that much what you think of it. I also don't care that much how good it is. It was a first time try, and a rough draft. I'm sorry you think I've used cliches poorly, and thank you for your advice, but I really don't even care that much about this story or what you think.
EXCUSE ME, I BARELY TRIED ON THIS STORY. IT WAS MY FIRST, AND IT WAS JUST A QUICK TEST. I DONT EVEN REALLY CARE WHAT YOU THINK. HOLY CELESTIA!
Hello there! I've already read some of your comment to howling Wolves but you might be taking his comment the wrong way. Its not that anyone is saying you shouldn't of bothered posting stuff or you should change your theme. Many people will judge your first story as their first impression on you as a writer all together.You've now tested the water so to speak and know what kinda critics you can expect here but don't take it as a bad thing. When you really do wanna start making stories that you care about,its people like this that can be helpful so you'll know what to improve or what to think on.
There are multiple groups on this site for both beginners and long time writers that will help with editing,story ideas,story art covers,plus everything else.
Also a piece of advise on replying to comments. Do you see where there's a line with a thumbs up and thumbs down on people's boxes? Follow it to the far right where you'll see an arrow and click the arrow. If you see a bunch of random numbers appear in your box then you did it correct and that person should receive your comment.
4567067 4567021
Dude, calm down! This is not the appropriate reaction to criticism! If you weren't really trying, don't post it online for everyone to see! Seriously, when you post your story for all the users to see, you need to learn that people are going to leave their opinions, and acting angry about it will only make things worse.
4567067
No offense but I, and everybody else, don't believe you for a second.
If you truly didn't care you wouldn't have responded the way you do. And since you did respond in such a fashion then it's obvious you do really care and all this talk is you trying to deflect any kind of criticism.
Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay.
4568080, flaming toast, and charzoid, actually, Howling Wolves and I worked this out on her page - i was just kinda mad about the rude way she said it, she apologizes, i apologized, we're all good. And it's true - this isnt a story i put that much work into.
I don't understand why there are so many thumbs downs for this. I love this story, I think everyone else is on drugs.
4560914 What makes you say that?