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The Race487 words

The Race

Scootaloo turned toward the sound of her name. “RAINBOW DASH??” She cried, surprised. She thought Rainbow had given up on being a Wonderbolt and went to work at the weather factory or something. Scootaloo galloped over to Rainbow Dash smiling.
“Haven’t seen ya, Kid! Where’d you go to? You know, I looked all over ponyville for ya. It was like I lost a sister....” Tears welled up in Scootaloo’s eyes. She’d never heard
Rainbow Dash talk like that before. “I missed ya, kid. I did. What’ve you been up to? Wonderbolts business, I see?” Scootaloo nodded.
“You see, Dash, I, er, I was recommended by Soarin the day I learned how to fly. I left ponyville as soon as I could to start training. I can’t believe it’s been three years! How are Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom? Wait, how're you? I mean, you could’ve qualified for the test YEARS ago.”
“well, I had an accident. Couldn’t fly for a year.” Scootaloo gasped. “took me a while to get back on my wings after that.”
Both mares heard Spitfire blow a whistle.
“Catch up with you later, Dash. Good Luck!” Scootaloo called
“Oh, I won’t need it” muttered Rainbow Dash.

Scootaloo closed her eyes and breathed. She heard the roar of the cloudsdale arena, she heard the commands of spitfire, but she just focused. This was what she was going to do. Going to achieve. She opened her eyes and pinpointed the end of the obstacle course. That was it. The gunshot rang out, the fans screamed, and Scootaloo took off. She looped in and out of rings, soared through clouds, rounded a pole twelve times then flew easily through a straight tunnel.
Scootaloo easily passed and stayed ahead of all the other ponies. Now it was just a push for the finish between her and Rainbow Dash. The last obstacle proved to be an agility maze, with tunnels at different levels and confined areas. Scootaloo darted in just before Rainbow Dash. But the Blue Pegasus was catching up to her.
Red clouded Rainbow Dash’s vision. This was HER dream, not some petty ponyville filly’s. Even if she loved Scootaloo, she wouldn't let her steal the title. Angry,. Dash put forward a burst of speed. Wrong choice. She crashed into the wall the tunnel more than a meter above her. Scootaloo soared to the finish, amazed.
“YES! I DID IT! I DID IT!” she cried. “Hey, Dash, look, I-” She stopped mid-sentence, seeing the glare of fury in Rainbow Dash’s eyes. Suddenly, the victory didn’t seem so large. “I’ll catch up later, everypony. I - uh - im tired. I need to rest. I’ll meet you at the training complex tomorrow, Spitfire. Scootaloo sighed and turned around, flying off to her cloudsdale dorm, hot tears streaming down her face.

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Checkspark

Checkspark #1 · Jun 17th, 2014 · 1 · 3 ·

Checkspark

Checkspark #2 · Jun 18th, 2014 · 1 · 4 ·

excuse me? It was just a first draft at a story I was doing just for fun. I honestly don't care that much what you think of it. I also don't care that much how good it is. It was a first time try, and a rough draft. I'm sorry you think I've used cliches poorly, and thank you for your advice, but I really don't even care that much about this story or what you think.

Checkspark

Checkspark #3 · Jun 18th, 2014 · 1 · 2 ·

EXCUSE ME, I BARELY TRIED ON THIS STORY. IT WAS MY FIRST, AND IT WAS JUST A QUICK TEST. I DONT EVEN REALLY CARE WHAT YOU THINK. HOLY CELESTIA!

FlameingToast

FlameingToast #4 · Jun 19th, 2014 · 2 · 1 ·

4567067 4567021
Dude, calm down! This is not the appropriate reaction to criticism! If you weren't really trying, don't post it online for everyone to see! Seriously, when you post your story for all the users to see, you need to learn that people are going to leave their opinions, and acting angry about it will only make things worse.

Blackguard

Blackguard #5 · Jun 19th, 2014 · 3 · 1 ·

4567067
No offense but I, and everybody else, don't believe you for a second.

If you truly didn't care you wouldn't have responded the way you do. And since you did respond in such a fashion then it's obvious you do really care and all this talk is you trying to deflect any kind of criticism.

Welcome to the internet. Enjoy your stay.

Checkspark

Checkspark #6 · Jun 19th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4568080, flaming toast, and charzoid, actually, Howling Wolves and I worked this out on her page - i was just kinda mad about the rude way she said it, she apologizes, i apologized, we're all good. And it's true - this isnt a story i put that much work into.

nopeeeee