I'm a fairly skilled hermetic wizard, and I could teach you the esoteric arts, if you can prove that you are worthy of my instruction.
The Smith lived in an age of wrought iron and sundered steel. Where Knights in Shining Armor were as commonplace as the town bard. But The Smith fell to his own hubris, his own stubborn focus. He lost everything he held dear, and even then, that wasn't enough to achieve his goal.
I found the cover art on google images, so don't hate.
Page generated in 0.066 seconds
Total duration
952 users online
59,332 hits today, 2,591,549 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I quite like this story as well. Rich with description. And a funny ending to boot.
4503619 I am getting better
At writing I mean...
I still suck with proper dialogue though...
And thanks for reading this.
4503630 Dialogue is always a complicated part. Just because no one will speak exactly like you. It gets even harder if you are writing for several characters. You have to make sure one character doesn't sound like another.
. . . I think I quite like this narrator.
bestdemotivationalposters.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/no-medication-for-stupidity-mental-insanity-best-demotivational-posters.jpg
In any case, another good story. Nowhere near Regret when it comes to impact, but the storytelling aspect was done in a very refreshing way. 6/10
4504455 I wasn't trying to hit the feels this time, I was experimenting with new writing styles again. But thanks for the feedback.
Hmm. Well, props for attempting a new writing style.
IMHO, it helps when you set up the narrator's setting that he's telling the story in, like in a camp around the fire to a bunch of eager fillies and colts, or on his deathbed, etc. I'm trying to remember what the name of the TV show that did it, as an example. But it involved teens going camping, that would gather around the fire and go back and forth between the story, and their reactions. The new Lone Ranger movie does that. The desired effect is to create a bond with the narrator.
Another story that might help you, if you want to pursue this style further, is reading a Halo short story called "Dirt", but the narrator is one of the characters. I find reading some examples of things I want to write before writing, helps me get in the mood better. Maybe it will help you too.
Now, with that you tell a story through the narrator, even include interruptions which can be comedic or lead to different points. But I feel like you might have wanted to take this even further and have it more like a letter.
4507899 I actually read 'Dirt', so I know what you are talking about. Also, I was going more like the narrator in 'The Twilight Zone' than anything...
4663429 I wasn't planning on a sequel to this fic... I don't even know where to begin with a sequel for this... Sorry.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4663510 Actually, I could always have a fic about someone in the blueblood line, and his struggling with the 'curse' throughout life or something, but it wouldn't be as interesting and I would probably botch it horribly.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
4706392 No, I am not here.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
Figures that Discord would know a lot of interesting tales over the centuries.
6810927 Oh my sweet Molestia did you just give me a great idea. I need to make a sequel with discord telling another story. Thank you for the idea.
6811071 Cool! You're welcome!
6811101 I still need to figure out what story to tell. Well, what kind of story I should tell, and how I should do it.
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
2:1_8/1/2016