I’m a feminist woman looking to write stories on a male dominated site. It’s an uphill battle but a satisfying one, only as long as I succeed.
Do you know how it feels to wake up in another world and you aren’t yourself and yet you aren’t the creatures around you? Hi. That was me for an hour in Equestria.
This was my very first story on here. So if something seems a bit off or not right or maybe there are words missing or the story seems a bit jagged, then that's why. Either way, I hope you enjoy it.
Page generated in 0.083 seconds
Total duration
1,006 users online
1,411,953 hits today, 2,156,967 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
You might want to slow down your story a bit. .-.
I make my stories a millenia long by habit, but this is just a little too rushed for me.. You could have spent a bit longer in the human world, possibly describing what the room looked like.. Or explaining some things to the reader about our main character here, rather then just saying the main character came home from a friends house then fell asleep on their bed. You could have them trek through their house, building up their life, saying what they are into, and how normal their life is. That would have a much bigger impact than just saying the main character went to sleep and awoke in Equestria. I won't dislike your story, nor will I like it. I'll save my rating for later, if the story gets better or worse.
Also.. Uh.. Just.. I'd suggest editing that 'sonic rainboom' part out, or else you're going to get a million dislikes in a minute.
If you add some more description, and work on your pacing, you'll extend the amount of words you have in the chapter. I rely on description WAY too much. I can literally just have my characters walk into a town, talk to some ponies, and that would be the end of the chapter. Barely anything would happen. I keep my chapters to a 1k Minimum, but I extend up to the 2ks, so that the chapter won't feel lacking. Also, that way, the chapter will be bite-sized.
If you need help with pacing, characters, or descriptions feel free to message me! I'll keep an eye on your story though.
ImgoingtokeepaneyeonitbecauseyoumentionedsombraandIlovehimdon'tjudgemeI was hoping for something SEMI series
But this ?!?!?!
Thanks for the advice. It is my first story on here so this is a lot of help!
You did rush, but there's always mistakes in a fanfic. Just remember there are haters out there, but just ignore them. Turn a haters hate into a compliment. And don't get too upset if you can't think of achapter. Just give it some time. I just thought this being your first fic, that you should have some advice for the long-run.
interesting. I thought this was gonna be about a human turned pokemon getting stuck in equestria. But none the less unjoyable
lol
wait question is the guys pony version a girl cause that would make a lot more sense espeasially since he/she was a latias
yeah I'm confused what happened to this being a human turned pokemon in equestria situation?
Timeline 3
explosion sound xddddd (like the stroy even though its a bit short)
co boya