Tell Owl: Our Won
Tell Owl: Our Won
by Present Perfect
It was bright day in Equestrias place, and the suns were up and clouds, and in corner of Ponyville is peace of quiet where that roof cottage sits
Inside: Hugh, Unicron.
"I really don't want to devour Equestria today," said Unicron. She make apple pies and bring to hugh Jelly.
"Thats nice deer," said hugh.
Outside, theire is two foals, who are child of Hugh Jelly and Unicron. They was a pegasus colt name Hot Shot Jr. and a unicorn filly who is Supafly. The favoring game from them is to find Spike and beat him up, so that is what they did with sticks and rocks.
"ow ow Twilight halp" Spike ran to liberry but its gone Tirak blewed it up
"Now children," said Unicron, who is in apron on front porch, "play nice."
"Yes momma" said Hot Shot Jr. and Supafly. they run off to plays.
Hugh Jelly likes to relax with newspaper after work (he works at jam factory that he made and its supply jam to all equestria ponies) and Unicron is very good housewife because she can cook good pastry and eat all unwant salespony. The house is most quiets.
Unicron washes the floor and the dishes and Hugh Jelly watches tv and smoke a jelly pipe and when Unicron is done she says "I don't feel like devouring Equestria."
"That's good, sweetie, I'm proud of you."
Then Unicron settles on couch to watch televisions and they watch together.
Later comes over Lyra heatsings and Bonbonbonbonbon.
"Howdy neighbors!" shrumt Lyra.
"Howdy there!" Hugh says
"Say me and my heterosexual life partner were having a potluck at our pony church would you two like to come?"
Hugh nods. "o honey that sounds just swell doesn't it?"
Unicron nod.
Lyra grin wide. "Okay good it's on Saturday at noon don't be late, k? Bring a desert!"
"We will!"
And Unicron went to find her cookbook for making a desert.
Just when Hugh Jelly is puts his slippers in and go up to bed the door knocks and who could it be but Hot Shot Jr. and Supafly.
"What'd you kids do now?" says Unicron out of the kitchen.
"We're sorry." both kids with ears back and sad and hoof at ground
"C'mon," Hugh says and taps his hooft "out with it"
"She started it!" said Hot Shot Jr.
"nuh-uh it was him!"
Unicron come up by Hugh Jelly who click his tongue and say "I don't care who started it I know the Jaam Force so you will tell me the truth before I extracts it from your heads, savvy?"
Hot Shot Jr. and Supafly both they know their dad is bluffed, but he's also mad and also mom could eat them again so they says it true
"Well uh we were playing with Spike"
"Yeah like we always do with sticks and stuff"
"And we maybe got carried away"
"And we're really really sorry"
Hugh sighed and rolled his eyes and look at wife. "You'd better show us kids"
So Hugh Jelly and Unicron Jelly and Hot Shot Jelly Junior and Supafly Jelly all get into pony car and drive down road. Hugh wave at neighbors who have no idea what the fuck he's driving and he said hi to postpony who was Love Letter, and then they stop in front of place where the kids said to.
"He's over here." they show red smear everywhere
"Oh, kids."Hugh shock his head because kids would be kids.
He looks at Unicron and they laugh, and hers is kind of evil so he has to turn up the Jaam Force just a bit to keep her in line
Just then Twilight Sparkle Princess Twilight come down and says "What seems to be the trouble, officer?"
Hugh shrugs because what can ya do "Well, it looks like my kids were a little rough with your Spike again"
Twilight gaps in shock and looks down.
"We're sorry," say the kids and they try to look very very sorry with big eyes and everything
Twilight frowns but sighs because what can ya do.
"Wel, I hope you kids learn a valuable lesson about friendship and ponies" she said. "And don't let me catch this happening again, okay?"
They nodded. Then Twilight says to Unicron, "How are you today?"
"I'm not even thinking about devouring Equestria" Unicron said with smile.
"Good to hear it! Anyway, I'll see you and Hugh later. Okay? Take care!"
So Hugh and Unicron and Hot Shot Jr. and Supafly get back into car and take off. And then there is just Princess Twilight stand over ground and she frowns again.
"Now where am I gonna get another Shia LaBeouf?"
And there was never another sequel ever ever again never.
The Total End For Realz~!!!!
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Hmm...
HMM....
HMM.....
I am going to laugh my ass off, aren't I?
Best. Stroy. Ever.
Blueshift is gonna shift himself when he sees this!
Oh fuck yes...
4417149
I saw your other comment, lol :V I am very glad you know the comics, I just didn't want to plagiarize too much V:
4417138 Dammit. Beat me to the Blueshift comment.
What a perfect present!
4417237
All right, you win. Best pun ever.
*sees notification* OH GOD, HE POSTED IT
ARMADA
HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN
4417138
EXPLODE
Transformers eh? This brings back memories. Why, I remember when-
BLUESHIFT WROTE THE ORIGINAL JaAM COMIC? WHAAAAT?
I did not know that. I guess you learn something new everyday.
P.S. This was exactly as glorious as I thought it would be - that is to say, very.
4417722
NOT NEARLY LONG ENOUGH
4419401
Hasbro wouldn't even send me a Universe Hot Shot!
4472748
This story is your ultimate reward. :(
4472748
That is positively scandalous.
5053644
obviously I am better at ponies than him
5996744
I am a winner of win :D
6977206 Sorry a reference to a particular badly written fiction "The lusty Argonian Maid.". Which now that I did a bit a research is actually based off the original The Eye of Argon. Oops.
As for why I thought my (badly done) reference was appropriate... Well it is a party game for geeks and nerds since th 1970s. You go around and try to read The Eye of Argon or when I did it The Lusty Argonian Maid (Which in turn was a variant put in the game Skyrim. I had the opportunity to use the Ponyfied version.). Noone really loses or wins unless you do a phenomenal job at reading it...
So yeah. I was a bit tired last night and tried to give a quick quip. Didn't think that through. Still stands though. You did an exceptional job at being awful writing this. So much so that it was a bit entertaining to read.
6978720
Ah! Eye of Argon I am familiar with. :) Glad you enjoyed my terrible writing. :D