Spike’s been feeling down lately, he feels anxious, bored, and confined. Something’s bugging him, but he doesn't know what. So when Rainbow Dash tells him that Twilight has a spell to change his form, he figures that turning into a unicorn would impress Rarity, as well as get his mind off of things.
Shenanigans ensue, and Twilight relents. However, instead of doing what they asked, she genies them. Turning Spike into a mare, and Rainbow Dash into a male dragon.
Now they must survive the week like this.
Written for Greenpony32's body swap contest
And as a side story, come with me, and watch as I grow as a writer with every comment, and every chapter!
Cover art created by me.
by the maker's holy plotpoint... This story got FEATURED!! 6/18/14 *Fangirl scream*
Capitalize your I's. Also, punctuation: it's a thing.
Still, not bad from a plot standpoint. But you're gonna lose most readers in the first section unless you clean it up a bit.
won't lose me as a reader, unless grammar is absolutely horrid. I\m not gonna be too fussy over a few misspells or capatazaltion errors
This story is really good
4394132 Just reread it.....
Yeaaaaahhh, not gonna lie, I was drifting in and out of consiousness when I was editing this. I'll fix it up cuz my stuff's not usually this bad.
Advice: Don't write while falling asleep
4394132 Try it now
This is what happens when you piss off Twilight. Funny shit so far; it's getting all my likes and faves.
Interesting start and funny to read, keep in mind it's not so much a transformation contest as it is a body swap contest. Though this could easily be interpreted as a 'body swap' in that twilight swapped their forms around which would technically count. Very Nice
Noice.
I look forward to
relentlessly judgingreading this fic!Haha as soon as I realized it was a photocopy spell and Dash wanted to be a dragon... so silly!
derpicdn.net/img/2014/5/15/627630/large.png
Pleeeeeease pick a better title.
The second I saw the cover art, I remembered
"Congratulations Spike, you're the new element of loyalty"
-Twilight Sparkle
4397048 good cuz thats what i was going for when i drew it.
plus i plan on using that line in ch 2
*I'm; I'll; I
*I'm; I'll; I'll
And poor Pinkie missed her chance...
It was going to be a 'Surprise'!
4399127 Look I've learned something new
Fixed\
4395428 Yea i feel that I could do with a better title, what would you suggest
Very entertaining story. I love the concept and the fast-paced humor. I rate this with a Pinkie and Dash for awesomeness and clever use of jokes.
However, you need to work on your general grammar skills. I can edit in my head what was (probably) intended but do not expect everyone to do the same. The best advice I can give to that is the same advice my English teacher gave me: Have someone else read it. You receive an angry Twilight for insulting the Grammar Police.
In spite of that there is potential and you just got a fav for this story. Keep up the good work.
4397220
I understand Twilight wanting to teach them a lesson, but that last part with switching genders on them was just for spite.
The 'please' scene was funny!!!
This was great read! I can't wait to see how they struggle with new bodies.
Here goes like and favorite encourage you.
This is going to be all kinds of fun, I can tell. There are so many directions you could go with this. I will just have to see what happens, but I have a feeling it is going to be hilarious no matter which way you go.
I agree with multiple commenters— this sounds like a fun concept that I'll enjoy reading, but you REALLY need to go over and edit again, or get someone else to edit for you. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be fixed up.
A like and a fave for you because I want to see where this goes, but I hope the future chapters are cleaner.
I am a bit surprised that a chapter featuring Pinkie Pie lacked in the random department. Not to say that there were no moments of me scratching my head, I just felt as though it were reigned in a bit. Still funny though.
So now they have a place to sleep, first problem solved. Now they just have to walk a mile in each other's hooves/claws.
Overall good job. My grammar police tendencies were not triggered here and I am still intrigued for what may happen next.
Why do I have a feeling that Dash is going to trigger some sort of hoarding complex before this is over?
This a perfect opportunity for them to screw with Twilight's mail. I'm sure Spike can forge his own claw writing.
I presume you meant Spike's.
Anyway, it desperately needs editing and proofreading, but the fact the humor is fresh makes up for it.
4405725 No offense, but your Grammar Police must be out for donuts, because mine are circling the perimeter with multiple sets of handcuffs. Err... hoofcuffs.
4405790 With his mouth? I doubt it.
4405822 No. They came back, smacked me around, and made me clean this up a bit. Check it again
Also, they're gonna be suspicious of melted locks when they get back
4405826
I'm sure that between them, Dash and Spike can come up with something. Or he'll just have to start mailing Twilight's fanfic. Or Lyra's.
Tell me.. do the humans in Lyra's fanfic... do they sparkle in the sunlight?
ok time to get my critic on, first your chapter one transformation sequence, it was fine. kinda boring to read but all and all it was fine
second wow the sex tones are massive here
third I don't see where this story is really heading to so I guess you just need to fine a place to throw it and you will be fine
4405826 If that's the case, they didn't smack you around nearly as much as they should have. There's still a LOT that needs fixing.
Long Live Pervert Dash!
4405822
My grammar police definitely not on duty when I read this. That's what I get for leaving a comment when suffering from sleep deprivation.
Ed, Edd, and Eddy reference? (double d's secret compartment of school supplies)
4406338
finally someone got it
Yeah, lot of grammatical issues. Sent you a note going over the first section of the first chapter. Multiple issues in most paragraphs, though most are repeats... messed up conversation punctuation, failure to use commas properly when addressing someone, apostrophe usage, failure to capitalize the word "I", and so on.
This is NICE ! Theehee !~
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/329/3/b/creepy_pinkie_pie_by_silverlininggirl-d6vm6qf.png
Pinkie Pie Smile HD.-
Havn't even read any of it yet, seems good already.
4408713 Visit my user page.
P.S. Come On And Smile
4410073
Okie Dokie Lokie !
4410146 Smile HD is my favorite YouTube vid
4405836 Of course not. They prefer to live in the daylight. But....they do sparkle when the moonlight hits them.
Pervert home invader Dash is best Dash
Poor Spike. Err...Spines? Um...Spikerella? Eh. Whatever. I enjoy the humor, but the writing does seem a little stale. I don't think you use "as" too much, but I've been told I
use too many commas.
Maybe I'll actually put something up here someday.
(Also, I feel like someone needs to combine these two icons for this story.)
I'm pretty happy that the flipped bodies are serving to solidify Spike and Rainbow Dash's friendship. That is probably the coolest part of this fic... Pinkie helping out doesn't hurt either.
This is hilarious, though I feel Rainbow is starting to come across as kind of a jerk to Spike a little. I suspect she'll get her comeuppance though
Gaya more story!
He beat Angel to Fluttershy's virginity?
Mother of God. SpikeLAD
And another fine piece of your work, but there are quite many obnoxious typos.
Should I be worried your trying to turn dash into a cupcake? Someone already did that.
(I'm guessing that fanfic)