Go Falcons!
"Three of my friends have been...turned into punch happy maniacs!" Twilight screamed to Celestia. Who in turn nursed a very big lump on her cheek.
"My...condolences for your loss, dear student. But we don't have time to grieve over your friends. We should use this time to find and secure Applejack and Pinkie Pie, before it happens to-"
"FALCON!"
"Consarn it Rari-"
"PUNCH!"
The two in the tree house heard the exchange, and felt the earth shake with the force of Captain Fashion's punch.
"...Well, so much for Applejack." Celestia said as she and a horrified Twilight Sparkle watched a pair of sunglasses slowly fall from the sky.
"What do we do!?" Twilight cried to her mentor. "I don't want to get punched again, it really hurts!" she said as she nursed her cheek.
"Yes, I know Twilight. I was punched too..." Twilight looked at her teacher and friend as she hid her face from her. She felt a little guilty for not taking her feelings into consideration as well.
"Really?"
Celestia didn't answer right away. She waited and slowly revealed her face...
That had a pair of shades.
"Yes."
***
Gilda didn't like sweets, she was more of a steak and potatoes kind of gal. But, when a random and extremely delicious cupcake happens to present itself to you, who can say no?
It was just literally presenting itself to her. On a stand in the middle of nowhere that said 'free cupcake!' and a little smiley face next to it.
*Do do do, do do do do, do do do do, do do do...*
When the strange music played, Gilda thought it was all in the ambience of the stand. If she were to actually examine the stand, she would find out that wasn't the case.
...
On a hill, approximately two miles away from Gilda's stand, sat Captain Falcon, Captain Flutter, Captain Fashion, and Captain Apple. They all sported binoculars to see what was about to happen.
...
Gilda took off the cupcake wrapping and put it on the stand where she found the cupcake, she licked her lips and opened her beak to-
"Falcon..." Captain Falcon said from his perch atop the hill...
A flaming red falcon descended from the sky, a Mach cone formed around the falcons body and it reached the ground...
"Punch."
As soon as Captain Falcon said that, a massive sonic boom sounded, and the falcon made contact with Gilda's face.
A falcon shaped cloud rang as a mighty screech sounded. The explosion shook the world.
Captain Falcon almost shed a tear at the sight of the legendary sonic falcon punch.
"YES!"
They all screamed as they welcomed the new addition to their creed...
Captain Rainbow.
***
Twilight ran. She ran and she ran and she ran. What was she running from?
"Show me yo moves!" Captain Solar said as her fiery mane and swank sun glasses gleamed in her sun. Smoldering, fist shaped craters filled with either a random pony or one she knew littered the streets. Shades fell down like rain as the punched soon became the punchers.
Hue Jelly
Roseluck
That one pony with the tuba.
Blossomforth.
Time Turner.
And many, many others fell to the might of the solar falcon.
"C'mon!" Celestia said as she rained fist shaped fireballs on Twilight, her punches being narrowly dodged by the frightened mare.
Suddenly, she was pulled into an alley.
"Twilight! We're the only ones left!" Pinkie yelled to her as they both ran away from the masses of punch happy maniacs that littered their home town.
"Rainbow too!?" Twilight screamed. Her question was answered by a giant falcon sized explosion a couple miles away. She couldn't believe that she could see it.
"We have to flee Twilight, we have to-" her sentence was cut short when a pair of shades was flung at her, they smacked on her face and she dropped to the ground with a thud.
"Pinkie!?" Twilight screamed, trying to get her friend to stand up, the mass of punchers hot on their heels. Pinkie stood up slowly and smiled as her eyes were cut off from view.
"Are you alright?" Twilight asked as she helped Pinkie up.
...
"YES!" Pinkie screamed as she revealed her shades, Twilight screamed and ran away from Captain Sugar. Captain Sugar produced her Party Cannon and loaded herself inside.
"FALCON!"
*BOOM!*
"PUNCH!"
Pinkie's body surrounded itself in flames as she shot herself out of the cannon.
"Yes!"
Twilight looked behind her to see Captain Falcon dive-bombing while riding Rainbow Dash's back. Who was sporting shades as well. The Blue Falcon flew over and out dropped the rest of the mane six. Armed with flaming hooves as they dropped on her.
Twilight reached a wall and resigned herself to her punching fate, she closed her eyes and awaited for the-
Strange new music that she has never heard before, this sounded...inspirational, energetic...
Twilight opened her eyes, and stared in horror as the entirety of Ponyville flew in the air. They started spinning as they gained altitude.
They started to congregate and focus into a cone like shaped, all the ponies that were punched, except Twilight, flew into the cone shape as they blocked the sun.
"Drillaruuuu..."
The flames that surrounded their hooves started to engulf them all, the sun spit fire as the solar flare joined in the fire. Twilight stood in awe at the sight. Ponies held hooves as they spun, forming a drill shape as they gained altitude.
The earth shook as they reached their apex, they came barreling down with a mighty force as Captain Falcon formed the head of the drill, his fist out, and his helmet gone.
Twilight got stars in her eyes as she finally saw his true face. Brown hair and a gentle smile as his hair started to elongate and turn a spiky blonde.
Super Saiyan Three Captain Falcon and everyone that formed the drill opened their mouth, and with one word, they ushered in a new age...
"BREAKERUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
The fire that formed the drill exploded in energy as it started its descent. Getting faster and faster. Twilight couldn't stop staring. She cried, not of sadness or anger, but of joy when she finally got it.
Ponies working together towards a common goal, a common purpose, a common life...
This...was true friendship.
She smiled and spread her forelegs to accept the drill, she knew a life of friendship awaited her...
"Yes..." she said as the drill connected...
***
Discord watched from the moon as a falcon shaped explosion became visible. He wore shades of his own as he watched the explosion.
"That...was awesome." Discord said as he stood up and clapped his hands. Almost crying at the beautiful chaos Captain Falcon created.
"You do realize, that he'll come after us next?" Luna said as she sat behind the god of chaos.
"Oh come off it. I'm the god of chaos. I invented stupidly unpredictable, he won't be able to come near me." Discord said as he ate his popcorn. He brought the popcorn to his back and offered Luna some.
"Popcorn?" He asked.
A shades wearing Captain Lunar replied.
"Yes!"
He didn't see it coming.
End~
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This... I can't... I don't *falcon punch to the brain."
4360437 *Ahem*
YES!
Is this ending already?
Aww, I was hoping for a Falcon vs Iron Will fist fight. But still, hilarious story, made me laugh
I don't have any words, just the fact that this earned it's spot in my favorites list.
4360655 *Thumbs up*
Yes.
4360674
Yes!
static.fjcdn.com/comments/Glorious+Captain+Falcon+fan+base+master+race.+God+_186dacfb9ba6450b1ca2a5f899e42523.jpg
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/292/2/1/captain_falcon_by_unskilledjourneyman-d6r3u8n.png
Make more to this please
You forgot to punch Garble and his crew.
I have but one word for this story:
YES!
PUANCH
4358863 The M in M. Bison actually stands for Master... sort of.
.... To be worthy to have gazed upon this magnificent fic, i need to Falcon Punch myself in the face.
*Falcon Punch Himself in the face*
YES!
4364518 warm and toasty too
Hi!
4364982 The memories...
I liked this… A lot… *shades float down onto face, and a helmet forms over* YES!
By the way, you should have used this link instead. Same song, way better picture:
… If ya know what I mean.
This is GOLD. I hope you continue it good sir, but...it zis compleet
...I enjoyed this more than I needed to.
YES! YES! YES! YES!
My G-d. This shit. This shit is beautiful.
dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133546243038.jpg
That ending was beautiful!
YES!
I.... don't....ca... I am so lost.....
There ain't enough lulz out there to express how hilarious this is to me. All I can say is... FALCON POSE!
This is literally the greatest thing I have ever read. Of all time.
My entirety disintegrated at the thought of Captain Falcon preforming a mass Giga Drill Breaker with at least tens of thousands of ponies.
If my heart was not devoted to Falconism, it would have been converted faster than the Blue Falcon can slam into me and splatter my brains all over the nearest wall.
I had to switch to a touchscreen device, so I could punch the upvote button.
4381759 Yes!
4386093 Blindness?
4392432 Thank you
Why do I like this.
-Spirit
4452771 Because your mind is full of F
K...
And you're loving every second of it.
4456098
YESSSSSSSSSS!!! I WANT TO BE A PART OF THAT DRILL!
Now i'm gonna watch Gurren Lagaan for the first time ever YES! YES! YES!
this is so awesome
greatest fic on fimfic
now i want to falcon punch
that pic:fuck yes
Glad to see Captain Falcon in his prime.
This was stupid.
STUPIDLY AMAZING!
My only woe is that we never got to see if Cadence, Shining Armor and/or Chrysalis were ever Falcon'd.
4458975
You're in good hands sir. Your final destiny awaits.
4985388 I'm glad I'm the source of your pain.
I'm not a sadist
4465750 Don't we all?
Hooray for apps that change the word god to nicholas cage!
Now this made this even more hilarious as I saw it.
Survivors notes: I enjoyed this story, but there seems to be a side effect. All of the people around me have started punching and yelling 'yes' afterwards. I have survived with my one month stockpile of hot pockets, coca-cola, and pornography. Any fecal relief has been taken care of out the window and urine recycled with the powers of a special system I rigged using two-liters, crazy straws, and electrical tape, since everyone is now just a mindless falcon puncher to bother with decency. Stocks are running low though, and I must soon go out into this wasteland of a world and scavenge. If any survivors of this madness hear me, please, I beg of you, avoid anyone wearing shades or dancing around yelling 'yes'.
Now all you need to do is the Knee of Justice.
This, this was...
tanakamusic.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/Jean-Luc-Picard-Full-of-win.jpg
This and the story after it made me cry.
I still can't tell if it was from laughing or that this shouldn't exist
(In a good way)
This brought tears of joy to my eyes.
It's like the conversion bureau with fist.
And decent writing.
4365859
Or this