I should have been dead and wandering the void, exploring the Cosmo's, or even enjoying eternity in heaven, yet Fate had other ideas. Fate never told me what its plans were, aside that in order to gain the love of the one I love, that I had to earn it. So now I had to earn her love rather than just telling her, yet the only way I could see for completing such a task is to gain her attention first through the form of hard work.
As they say, not everything goes according to planned...
Chapters (1)
That's good!
Some pacing issues and a few small plot issues, but not bad overall.
Good very good and i hope to see more
4306020 If I do write more, I have a full series idea ready, from the way nightmare moon comes to be, and the third story being where Luna is reawakened (When the elements are used).
4305022 yeah, I know. then again, that happens to all my One-shots... occasional issues like that will always arise.
I'm guessing that's supposed to be "Tongue"
Only thing that caught my eye.
Always a pleasure to read more Luna love
Great story i hope you continue it or at least make a seque.
Another chill ran down my spine as she shifted to sliding her tongue over all my fingers at once, before she would slowly and firmly run her finger underneath a single digit.
im sure you didn't mean finger
SO TELL ME did they live happily ever after (BOY THAT SOUNDS CHEESY) But you get my point what happened after this chapter. Care to explain?
6676390 No, not forever.
I have an idea for a sequel, two really, but it will have to do something more along the lines of how Luna's mental state slowly degrades. If you remember everything in the show, something unfortunate happens to our human friend before Luna's confrontation with Celestia, before she turns into Nightmare Moon for the first time. I haven't started writing it yet, as it will take my full attention, and my first attempt was a hideous first try.
I have the general outline of what will happen ready, but actual application is a little different...
The next story wont jump right into the negative inflow however, but it will ease into it...
6676864 awww I thought everything will be OK *sniff* tears
BUT I can't when it comes out
So..why is the protagonist so in love with Luna in the first place exactly?
6916611 Slight self-insert idea. A human from our world with prior knowledge and feelings sent into early day Equestria.
I say slight, because I would've done things MUCH differently than he.
6678158 I won't be making that sequel anytime soon... I tried my hand at it, and the results are less than stellar. Do you have a Skype...? My usual help is mostly busy and writes along different lines/genres.
7090210 Sorry for not responding. The answer to your question is no, I don't have skype and as much as I really, really want to help you, I have to focus on my assignments from uni. It's Literally four assignments due each week.
Quite a few spelling and grammar issues found, but the story itself was strong enough to carry new through them. Well done.
Such a sweet story , should it was a little fast but the guy was just too sweet for that to be a complaint ( he earned that mare )
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( Praise the most beautiful thing in the sky ... The moon)
*sigh* What a sweet and delightful little story. Thank you.
That was a beautiful fanfic working hard to earn affection from the one he loved
