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Human and Equestrians have been in contact for five years after a strange event occurred during a solar eclipse. Now, after those five long years of peace, Celestia decides it is time to take Luna to the human world to celebrate her birthday. --Longer description near top of story--
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imagine if celestia ask the club to give her sister for her special day a birthday song and vip party of celebrity rock'in fun proportions!
just skimmed over because I'm distracted trying to write my own story, but i think with "clicks" the word you are looking for is cliques
Mmmmm sandwich...
I've never heard of such transportation companies...
Seriously, if you're gonna post a story, at least proofread your synopsis.
Best story ever!
3254551 Synopsis? Dude, I don't even know that word...
Do you know how hard it is to proof read a 9k chapter? Pretty dang hard...
3255414 Synopsis = that little description of the story right below the title.
And yes, I do. I was a consistent fanfic proofreader before university started.
3255427 I just looked through both versions of the Synopsis, and I still have yet to figure out what it is that is wrong with the wording. Care to tell me what I did wrong then? Or was it in the actual story?
I want more.
I want a sequel.
such a master peace.
I like this a lot
Any chance on continuing?
I would very much like to read how their affection for each other progresses
Hmmm... You wouldn't happen to be planning on continuing this, would you?
3255488 I suggest removing the " 's" from Human and change the word, Equestrian to Equestria. Kinda like this:
really good. you should do a sequel!
3255488 First off, "Humans" has no apostrophe when you're talking about plural. The apostrophe followed by an S indicates ownership, possessiveness.
Secondly, you wrote "EquestrAIns". See the letter mixup?
It's those small things that make you look bad, homeboy. You gotta pay more attention to them.
3259432 lol, in any story, everything, no matter if it looks big, is a small mistake. It's only because there are a lot of small mistakes that they are considered big sometimes.
This has POTENTIAL! I am not trying to be mean if you don't understand what I mean but this has POTENTIAL TO BE A STORY. a multichapter story that I would (like with my friend writing Warped Paths) wish the next part to come out within the next week.
If you were to expand on this it would be awesome. ( I know it is a one part because a birthday can't really last a few months, but if you made a split off that continued like a sequel)
3264287 I have been giving it some thought, but I normally write 2k-5k chapters... asking for a continuation like how I made this one-shot is a big... big... BIG order from me. I put off 3 other stories, post poned another, and left myself tired from every night and day I wrote this. Now, maybe when I complete 2 stories im currently on, and post pone another once more, I might be able to write a sequel one-shot to this, but I don't intend on making this into a full fledged story.
That was adorable
I loved this story. There were a few grammar errors. Other than that I loved this tale. If you decide to continue this as more than just a one shot you will have an avid reader. The transitions were spot on, the dialogue was beautifully separated. I can not find anything really wrong with this. I loved every minute. You are an excellent writer. Keep up the good work.
please let it be a sequel plz!!!!!!
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The sequel is up and running, as in im working on it now. Don't expect a post anytime soon, but expect more than a usual length... it will be my longest one-shot when it is finished. For a spoiler. Half a day ended up being 5k words.
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Thank You!!
I shall be greatly looking forward to it
Now this is how humans and ponies should be interacting in more fics these days.^_^
The royal sisters aren't deities. That said, this wasn't too bad.
3410080 Still waiting for more of this my friend.
4071547 Wanna give me some ideas for what Luna and Mark can do for activities around Canterlot? I kinda hit a standstill because of that...
Aside from that, I am at 9k words... but I wanted to be at triple that amount weeks ago...
4071556 Yes I can but that depends on how much the human world has crossed over to Equestria so with that said I will pm you with ideas.
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3348689 For all you I just replied to, I know you all exhibited an interest in this story before, and (due to it receiving bad ratings so far) you all get to be alerted that I posted the first chapter of the sequel!
...I feel like that guy that mass-messaged everyone on the site just to get better ratings now...
3264287 You sir, now get the chance to read a chapter story of their love.
4553017 Ah I see it! Luna's week off.
Yea
the misuse of Elizabethan English is extreme
This was great. Onto the sequel.
are you just throwing thou in randomly or is Luna already drunk? There is some other stuff as well but whatever. Overall pretty heartwarming :)
7143269 Yeah... I only had 1 teacher in highschool that even had us read text that was written like that, and that was Macbeth. That's why in Luna's Week Off you will see the first chapters using that, and then the later chapters not at all... I'm not going to pretend I know exactly how to use those words, so I will just stop instead of butchering my own stories.
7143660 hehe yeah, it is pretty hard to figure out, and I'm not gonna pretend that I'm perfect at it XD I have an editor that is good at that kind of stuff, thankfully XD
7143696 I had a fellow author that would look at my work, but he isn't an editor... I kinda unofficially handed him that responsibility, but I have since stopped. I didn't have anyone but readers give me tips on this story. I tried to see what the people in "twilights Library" thought of it (20 or so people at the time), and the story was just shot down... so I kept it to myself.
7143735 Oh. I'm not sure how Twilight's library works, but with almost 200 likes on this one shot, I'd say it's doing okay, even despite the flaws :) I'm reading the sequel now, it's clearly better so far ^.^ I guess it's because you've learned a lot since this story :3
turns out I've read another one of your one shots, The Night's Friend.
I'm jealous.
Thine old equestrian speak of years past could've had a bit of cleaning up.
For thou needeth represent our princess most accurately, for she is of favor to thee!
I smell a sequel, and I'm loving it.
7238009 Luna's Week Off.
7238173 found it two seconds after posting the comment, but thanks :)
7238626 heh, sorry about that. Well. hope you enjoy.
Finally got round to reading this. I'm glad I did. You've got my attention to your work, good sir. A like, fav and follow from me.
I only just discovered this piece. What a wonderful read it is. Excellent job. I look forward to more.
Epic story loved it luna seemed to act real cute that i loved seeing. Keep writing great stories