'Why didn't I just buy one?'
"Oh, here he comes now. Perfect. Now all we need to do is ask him how to get to our destination and we'll be off." The stallion in a black bow tie spoke up to his mare companion wearing a matching cream blouse and long skirt.
"I doubt that. You know precisely what would come after this, and I doubt that all three of us would like it." His companion responded in a irritated manner.
"I do not know precisely, it could still vary." The stallion waved off his words at her, careful not to let go of the item he is levitating.
"Still, I feel a minor migraine already." The mare put a hoof on her forehead.
"Are you also going to tell me your nose is bleeding? Alright, how about we just go on our own way and push him out of the equation." The stallion raised an eyebrow, looking at her.
"Ah, yes, just mess around with the constants at hand, why didn't I think of that. There can't be any possible consequence to that indeed." The mare scoffed sarcastically at him, rolling her eyes in the process.
"Oh hush. Let's just get over this." He narrowed his eyes at her, stopping in his tracks and putting his item down.
"How about we just skip over this?" She raised her eyebrow at him.
"Then you and I would be missing the fun part." He answered back as he leaned on the back wall of a booth.
"What's fun about wasting all three of our precious time?" She asserted, stomping her hoof on the ground, flaring a breath.
"Not fun for us, fun for them."
"Them?"
"Yes, them. The already confused readers. But enough of that, just look presentable for the poor fellow." The stallion picked himself up and walked over to the bigger stallion approaching him.
Big Macintosh approached the twins who were muttering to themselves and cleared his throat to get their attention. It seemed like a friendly thing to do anyways. They obviously had no idea where the exit, or rather, anything, was. He couldn't just leave the two wandering about. Besides, it was already sunset and Princess Twilight Sparkle had already declared the festival over. After his little adventure at the Summer Wrap-Up festival with Princess Luna, he decided to loosen up a bit and try to be more open and friendlier to other ponies.
He didn't get a chance to meet up with other individuals that much after though, with all the hassle of learning about Pinkie's possible tie in with his family and the near death situation of his grandmother. Nonetheless, he made a promise to himself that he should start interacting with others more often, starting with these two ponies right here will maybe be a good shot. It had been a perfect day for him, trading in his old yoke for a newer one, with the trader thinking that the worn out item had some kind of sentimental value in it.
'Whatever gets the work done.' Big Mac thought to himself as he stood tall in front of the twins who were now looking at him with rather unreadable expressions.
"Lost?" Big Mac started off with a deep tone, raising an eyebrow to their direction.
"Well currently, no." The female twin responded, then turned to her companion.
"Come to think of it, we never get lost, do we?" She inquired.
"No, we never get lost." He responded in a smart aleck tone.
Big Macintosh was at a rather loss for words. His instincts seem to have been wrong. 'No pony is perfect. Guess they do know where to go.' He remarked to himself as he began to turn and head for the exit.
"Although, would you be so kind to give us some directions?" The stallion trotted slightly forward, catching the more massive stallion's attention again.
"To where?" He turned his head to the smaller individual. 'Wait a second...', he quickly snapped into a confused strain of thought. 'They just said that they never get lost...'
"I'd like to ask where we could possibly trade this cage for a bird?" The male twin then levitated the said cage in the farmer's line of sight.
"Fair's already over." Big Macintosh reserved his words, like he always does, as he responded to the inquiring pony.
"Ah, the way I see it, it may have not been over yet, however going back is such a hassle." The mare spoke up, breaking the two stallion's exchange as she stepped over beside them. "I also remember promising to ourselves not to travel that far, it is our break, after all."
"We could ask the yellow pegasus with the carnation mane. I do believe that she acquires the bird call every time." The male paced, tapping a hoof on his chin.
"Every time?" She raised her eyebrow and looked at him.
"Every time." He responded with a stressful, yet bland tone.
"Ah, I see what you mean." She nodded back.
Big Macintosh sighed. 'This is why I don't go out that much...' He rubbed his forehead with his hoof as he turned to the exit, dropping one last line for the two before he went off. "Her name's Fluttershy. Local animal caretaker of Ponyville."
"Ha. Annoyed already." The two began talking to each other once again.
"I'm sure he will be annoyed again." She noted with certainty.
"How sure?" He responded and in turn raised his eyebrow.
"Always." She pointed to the red stallion.
"Oh." He nodded.
Overhearing their conversation, Big Macintosh huffed a heavy breath out and turned back to face them.
"Lost?" His face ever so slightly hinting a sour expression.
"Oh my, I think we broke him already." He held a hoof on his mouth.
"I knew this world wouldn't hold that well." The bow tied stallion buried his brows in his face.
"Then why pick this world for a break?" Her partner asked.
"Well, it just seemed out of the norm of our usual-"
*Ahem* Big Macintosh cleared his throat loud enough to get their attention, deciding he had enough of these two pacing around.
The twins turned to him, their faces returning to their void and stoic expressions similar to a while ago.
"Look, I'm sorry fer intrudin', but if you really need a bird, you could just catch one for yerselves. Now ah dunno what you two are yappin' about there, but if ya were lookin' for a specific kind, I'm afraid ya'll need to wait fer the next tradin' fair, or if ya don't fancy waitin, just scoot over to other private or public trades." Big Macintosh looked at them, proficient at hiding his irritation at the two.
"Ah, right, why didn't I think of that?" He frowned slightly.
"I think the other yous thought of that already." She held up a barely visible smirk on her muzzle.
"Well, that's comforting to say the least." The male twin rolled his eyes at his partner's remark.
"What I'm more concerned about is his nonchalance to our discussions." She then raised an eyebrow and pointed her gaze at the stallion in front of her.
"That we can agree on. Usually the subject just faints and we go to the usual routine again." He looked at the apple farmer as well, deep in thought.
"Yes, indeed..." She then trotted to the red stallion who is still looking at them, his face unreadable like theirs. "Say, we didn't catch your name yet."
"Big Macintosh, mam." Macintosh nodded and held out a hoof.
"Lutece, Rosiland. A pleasure." She returned the gesture and the nod.
"The stallion with ya, is he your brother?" He tilted his head and gazed over the skinnier pony.
"Robert isn't, yet he is." She replied and looked at the red stallion, waiting for his reaction.
"Mmm." He nodded again, looking back at her. "Well, it's best that I be headin' out now, good luck with yer trade."
"Traded, trade, will trade, one thing's for sure: We're going to find our bird, Mr. Mac." She mused as the pony in front of her trotted away.
"Eyup." He turned back one last time and gave a final nod, then head out to the Friendship Express.
The Luteces walked off to the opposite direction, deep in conversation yet again.
"Do you think we should have asked for the way out?" Rosiland asked.
"I think he was heading to the way out." Robert pointed out in a matter-of-fact manner.
"Ah, well, we have all the time we need, we could just go there ourselves." She insisted.
"Then why ask for directions?" He asked sarcastically.
"Because we need to." She responded with a lecturing tone.
"Well, we won't need to if we didn't come here in the first place." He stopped for a second, turned his head and picked up the cage he was bringing.
"Just be happy that nothing massive was changed." She smirked and nudged him lightly.
"I was hoping that we could have gotten the bird call instead." Robert looked straight at her.
"Cheer up, there's always next time." She tapped his chin upwards and looked at the road ahead.
"What piqued my interest was that red stallion." The mare stated after a pause in their talk.
"Quite. He didn't seem to show any signs of relapse." The stallion returned to his train of thought from a while ago regarding the red stallion.
"Odd. We should look for him again." Rosiland smiled and chuckled lightly.
"We will."
"We will?"
"No, but we still will."
"Agreed."
Big Macintosh didn't need to knock, he already knew that he would return this late, although courtesy still mattered to him, and he might think he was another intruder...again. "I'm back" He announced as he entered the tightly fit entrance, taking off his new yoke and placed it on a table.
"Welcome back. Did you replace the dreaded thing?" A stallion responded as Bic Mac went over to take a mug of cider from the fridge.
"Eyup." He took a sip of the ice cold drink.
"Ah, perfect. Did you check out the disturbance I picked up as well?" The voice asked, clearly waiting for an answer.
"It seems that there were two of them, but the odd thing was, they didn't have your characteristics at all." He took a sip.
"Oh?" Responded a muffled voice.
"Eyup." The red stallion finished his drink while walking over to his companion.
Coming out from under the destroyed robot piece of junk, he dusted himself off and looked at the stallion in front of him.
"Last question: Did they have pears?" The Doctor asked with a scornful tone.
"Nope." Big Mac shook his head as he blinked.
"Well then, Allons-y! We shall set off to find those two again! A new type of time lord, possibly? How exquisite!" He announced with joy.
Big Macintosh sighed as he planted a hoof on his face. 'Here we go...'
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needs a sequel. If you would
Good job writing the Lutece Twins' lines. I know that they can be hard to write and these are amazing.
4306262 Ooh man, I needed to play some bits of the game just to get a feel for them
But thanks, I had tons of fun writing this 
4305538 Soon...who knows
Lutece twins equal instant great story.
Well, that explains why Big Mac was so nonchalant about those two...
Sweet! Didn't notice that frame of the Lutece twins there in Trade Ya. You should definitely do a sequel with the Doctor and Luteces!
4307451 Keepin' it cool, Mac.
4307452 Well, if the sequel requests keep up, I might just be forced to o_o
Would you kindly write a sequel?
4314240
"A pony chooses, A slave obeys."
Unless you whine enough.
Moar.
...
...
...
That is all.
4328036
I shall think about it
4329633 Thinking takes too long. Don't think, do.
Most excellent!
One small problem.
It needs to keep going, be it sequel or more chapters. It's too cute of a story to pass up.
4341889
Wow, people have honestly asked the same thing just below you, mate.
My original intention was to leave this as a prompt for others to make another story off of it, but since demand has been growing...
I'llconsider it in the future, but for now, I got other stuff in my mind
4341900 Perfectly fine and understandable.
I suppose I can relate, working on two stories currently, but still vexed with the ideas of a MLP style Ghostbusters story, as well as a The World Ends With You MLP:FiM story.
In due time. Was in time. Will be in time.
4341911
Besides, TWO timeless figures?
....Oh my
4344735 Mhmm.
And they were looking for...
THIS!fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/101/d/1/bioshock_songbird_meme_by_maestrander-d61daef.png
4468392
"Uhm, Would you kindly be calm, please...?"
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140421135724/mlp/images/f/f3/Fluttershy_blowing_bird_whistle_S4E22.png
And who knows... There may be more than one set of Lutece twins out there in the Multiverse, confusing the heck out of people as they go. How knows, those Lutece twins may cross paths with our Lutece twinsderpicdn.net/img/view/2014/6/3/643908__safe_monochrome_human_crossover_ponified_bioshock+infinite_bioshock_lutece+twins_rosalind+lutece_robert+lutece.png
"Brother, it appears there exists a reality in which we are… rather adorable ponies."
”Horses… why bloody horses?”
4526087
A crossover to meet with yourself?
May Celestia have mercy on our souls.
4528629
And anypony unfortunate enough cross their path
4528715
Don't worry, Big Mac's got this.
4528719
Bioshock Infinite is in no way related to this... but this is still one of the funniest things I have read this week.
4573158
Ah, but the Luteces nonetheless
Epic
4305538 would you kindly
Love it need more. I can see the ultimate crossover of all crossovers the Doctor and the twins.
Bring us the sequel and wipe away the debt.
5443298
Chin up, there's always next time.
GOD, I hated the conversations of those two in the game.
You have perfectly recreated that sense of irritating, aloof pretentiousness in those two. Congratulations.
This is brilliant! You MUST continue this!
It makes sense
yet no sense
yet will make sense
or not
hehe jolly good read.
This captured them perfectly which is very impressive as they have such odd mannerism it would be nearly impossible to capture it.
also am I the only person who both enjoyed and understood(at least to an extent) what they were talking about in the games?
they were honestly one of the things I loved about the game.
Bring us the sequal and wipe away the debt!
6971711
Yeah, the Luteces were probably my favorite characters in the game. Infinite had weirdly wonderful characters.
Truthfully, I found all of their conversations fascinating to a large degree. The way that they speak, the way they dance around each-other...
7961058 oh man im.so glad to hear I'm not the only one who enjoyed when they showed up.
FOURTH WALL BREAKER!!!
I started to think they were time travellers, but...I just cold not for the life of me figure those two out. Although I loved their arguing, there will never be a dull or annoyed moment with them.