Lyra Blew A Fuse
Lyra Blew A Fuse
Big wide empty eyes, uncontrollable tongue flapping, sounds which could best be described as farting, and a complete indifference to almost anything around her. These were all symptoms which Lyra currently experienced, and much to Bon Bon’s embarrassment, everypony in the Ponyville Hospital’s clinic had their eyes on this bizarre situation.
“Just hold on, Lyra. I’m sure the doctor can figure out what’s wrong with you,” mumbled Bon Bon while she reassuringly stroked her marefriend’s right shoulder. Although the stares annoyed Bon Bon, she did her best to ignore it.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with that mare?” asked a little filly, tugging her mother’s leg while pointing and staring shamelessly.
“Erk… Can they – pppffftt – just call us – ppffftt – in already,” grumbled Bon Bon getting more and more frustrated with not just Lyra’s constant mouth farts, but also the incessant foals and even adult ponies pointing out that something was terribly wrong with her marefriend.
“Bon Bon, Doctor Stable is ready to see you in room 103,” sounded a voice over the speakers.
“Finally!” exclaimed Bon Bon with both forelegs raised up high. She quickly scooted off her seat, dragging Lyra along by the hoof. Despite Lyra having seemingly checked out mentally, she was quite capable of walking around if just pulled or shoved a bit.
The two mares entered a small room with a beige tile floor and blue walls. A few cabinets aligned the right wall, and opposite to them were a couple of chairs and a gurney. Bon Bon guided Lyra onto the gurney and then sat down on a chair herself, listening to the still never-ending stream of farts coming out of her beloved marefriend’s muzzle.
Several minutes past by before their doctor entered the room, reading the chart as he opened the door. “Good afternoon, Miss Bon Bon, what seems to be th-“ said Doctor Stable before coming to a halt as he stared at the fully grown mare acting like a four year old on the gurney, “the problem… Oh my.”
“Please help her, she’s been like this all day!” cried Bon Bon while almost leaping out of her chair to grab the doctor. “It doesn’t matter what I say or do, she just keeps on doing… THAT!” She turned so she stood at Stable’s side, pointing at Lyra who still went about with her happy fart sounds.
“Well Miss Bon-“
“Just call me Bonnie.”
“Well, Bonnie. Could you tell me what happened to her, or what she did when she got stuck like this?” asked Doctor Stable.
“Well…” mumbled Bonnie while embarrassedly scratching the back of her head.
Earlier that day Lyra and Bonnie had gone to the marketplace to buy some groceries. That was until Lyra spotted Vinyl Scratch across the market, instantly running up to her friend.
“Hey Vinyl!” said Lyra while grinning.
“Yeah?” asked Vinyl before turning away from her conversation with Octavia to see the green unicorn standing behind her with a serious glimmer in her eyes.
“Fart battle, GO!” yelled Lyra before her body tensed up and her face contorted awkwardly with every mouth-fart escaping her lips. Vinyl did not even hesitate for a second before she joined in on this juvenile of competitions.
“They kept at it for a good while… That was until Lyra’s eyes became all empty of life and she just stopped reacting to us. I didn’t know what to do with her, so we went here. I think she’s blown a fuse or something.”
“Well, it was good you came here, Bonnie. I’m sure we can figure this out.” The doctor slowly approached his patient, holding a flashlight up to quickly flicker back and forth across Lyra’s eyes. He followed this up with doing several more small tests to see how reactive the mare still was. Meanwhile, Bon Bon paced back and forth behind him, hoping for an answer to this unusual problem. “So… Do you know what’s wrong with her?” she asked after a few minutes of examination.
The doctor turned around to face Bon Bon. His eyes were stern and lips bent into a frown. “I’m sorry to tell you this, Bonnie. But…” He cast one more glance over at Lyra before continuing, “your friend here has, ‘Silly-itis’.”
“Silly-itis?.. That sounds like a made up disease.” Bonnie was not impressed at all with this diagnosis. She kept on staring the Doctor down as she awaited further explanation.
“Yes, I’m quite serious. There has only been one other documented case for this very rare disease. We’re not completely sure what causes it, but it was first found in a pony named Fluffle Puff.” The doctor searched through one of the cabinets for the documented case’s file to show Bon Bon. “Aah, here it is.” Stable hoofed over the file for Bonnie to read, and sure enough, it was an actual documented illness.
“But… There is a treatment right? I mean, she won’t be stuck like this forever, right?” Bonnie looked up from the file with hopeful eyes.
“I’m sorry… We’ve yet to figure out a cure for Fluffle Puff. It does seem like she has come around some from the illness. She moves around, communicates in her own unique way, and is fully capable of living a rich and wonderful life. I’m sure Miss Lyra will eventually come around and be just as functional as Fluffle Puff. I’d suggest you to simply show her as much loving care as you can while she recovers.”
“Okay…” Bon Bon gave her marefriend a distraught glance as they were led out of the hospital, and sent on their way home. They had gotten nothing of help, only the answer to what was wrong. There was apparently no help to get from the professionals, and maybe there was no medicine or magic in all of Equestria that could cure Lyra. Bonnie sighed in defeat while walking inside her and Lyra’s home.
“It’s okay, I still love you, Lyra… even if you’re a bit sillier than usual.” Bon Bon’s smiled carried the weight of her worry for her marefriend, but also tender affection for the mare she’d spent so many years with, building a wonderful life together. Watching Lyra in her broken state as she sat on the couch brought back countless memories of them snuggling up in loving embrace… and how the last time they did so could just have been, the last time.
“I always will love you.” Bonnie kissed Lyra’s cheek before wiping her own, sighing heavily afterwards. She picked up a newly arrived package and placed it on Lyra’s lap. “Look, that thing you wanted for your ‘human research’ has arrived.” Her tone had returned to its usual state in hope that if she acted like her usual self, everything would return to normal.
“Ppppfffftttt…….” Lyra finally stopped her fart sounds, her eyes normalized, and she finally moved a limb on her own accord. “Huh? When did we get home?” asked Lyra while looking around in confusion.
“LYRA!” shrieked Bonnie in excitement as she clasped both forelegs around her marefriend, much to Lyra’s surprise. “Huh? What’s wrong, toots?”
Bon Bon pulled back to stare into Lyra’s eyes, explaining everything that had happened. Her absentminded stare, the doctor’s diagnosis, and Bonnie’s plan to nurture Lyra back to normal.
“Geez, sorry about that. But, did I win the competition?” she asked with a wide grin on her face.
Bonnie stared back with cold unmoving pupils as Lyra awaited validation for her awesomeness. “Yes, you did. I’m glad you know what’s important,” groaned Bon Bon while planting a hoof in the middle of her own face.
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Aw, this is cute
[youtube=tpnPSg94TN8]
4260449 Glad you like it
4260453 What?
Reminds me of this guy...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ludeznVtLV1qd1072.png
4260462 He did that on my story too :/ I don't get it either.
4260495 Aaah XD I won't question it
LYRA IS THE CURE
FLUFFLE RISING 3
...Pft.
Ok. This is win.
Pure and total win.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I... I loved it.
I could sully the experience by dissecting the various reasons for such - as in my furious love for all things Lyra AND Flufflepuff, but... I shall resist.
As when one accidentally sits down and eats an entire carton of Oreo ice cream - which I assure you is very easy - there is a moment of panic and guilt that follows. Also, a bit of a headache and gratuitous belching, followed hours later by a likely bout of diarrhea.
Eventually, one must accept their irreversible fate and simply bask in the wonderfully decadent afterglow, as there's nothing left to do.
I am basking happily.
4260600
Hey! HEY! YOU! HI! HI YOU! HELLO!
... yes, I react similarly to unexpected encounters in real life.
4260693
Greetings friend!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Fart battle!
This is genius. Pure, unadulterated genius.
That was beautiful mang... Beee yooo teeee ful.
4261223
Reminds me of that Rap Battle videos on Youtube.
Ponyville Fart Battle...!!!
4260462 He's spamming that everywhere. But he's an idiot, so just ignore him.
This was...well...silly.
But a good kind of silly. Also, that doctor is a quack. 
4262903 So I've figured since he commented
Well, I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the story, thank you for the compliment 
And yeah, that doc man 
4262493 Glad you like it
I don't think I did a beautiful job with it, but I'm happy as long as people enjoy it 
I don't normally fave one-shots, but this is too frickin' good!
Oh, and also...
Following.
Definitely following.
4263548 Aawww, thank you for the lovely compliment
I really don't think my story is good. I certainly didn't spend much time writing this and I know I can do much better than this quickly written thing 
Also thanks for the following
4263596 No problem!
I'll be sure to check out your other story, too!
These are characters from a kid's show - why will they be interested in a romantic relationship? Just stop, okay? Write something else.
Preferably something that won't result in pony porn.
4263804 Why are you so aggressive?
I didn't write pony porn, and what's wrong with couples? The show has already established that romantic couples happen (In example: Shining armor & Cadence). The only purpose it serves in this story is a loving connection between the two characters. No reason for you to leave a comment like this, especially so when it makes no sense..
4263804
WAY too late, bro.
I was on a public transit bus while reading this. A man a couple seats away from me was making an odd gurgling noise the entire time. He was wearing a Dora the Explorer backpack and holding half a frozen pizza.
4264268 Did he at least share?
4263804 I believe you have the cure for butthurt on your profile, please use it.
4264328 Not a fan of cold pizza from a man with sweaty palms.
MAKE MOAR!!!
4264611 more what?
4264623 Stories like this. Or a continuation. Just... Moar.
4264628 Aaah. Well, I have an idea in mind for a mini series of 1-2k words stories about Lyra and Bon Bon. It will still be cutsie and silly, but a bit different. I'll see if I can get to it soon
4264662 P.M. me when you get it put up!
Amazing. A triumph of the human spirit.
When they said that the only case found so far was flufflepuff, I was like:
Not to be the resident stickler for proper English-
-but I do believe the phrase is, "blowing raspberries"
4269373 But but but... mouth farts sounds so much dumber!
PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
That was quite enjoyable
So cute
This seems so fitting... I'm drawn to a story by the picture of an absolutely adorable looking Lyra to find that the author has a strangely mesmerizing avatar pic as well. If you don't mind, could I have a link to the picture you used? (Avatar pic)
~SolidFire
4273511 The story was solely inspired by this drawing btw
and my avatar is of my OC pony named "Passion Quill." There are a few drawings of Passion, but why do you want a link?
Mixture of cute and funny.
I do like.
4274511
I honestly don't know. I love the expression on (I'll assume 'her') face and the radiant blue eyes. It just really stood out to me and I really liked it.
~SolidFire
4276007 Fair enough X3 Just remember in this pic, I had yet to decide Passion's cutiemark, so the one in the pic is wrong. There you go http://d.facdn.net/art/wolfshy/1349636077.wolfshy_qxmgxz.png
The real cutiemark is a heart with a quill going through it, hence the name "Passion Quill" X3 I keep on switching PQ between mare and stallion. In the pic it's a stallion. Though, if I get around to writing the story about PQ, it'll be a mare
For a moment, at the commencement of the "fart battle", I thought it was going to be actual farts.
(The face contorting is why.)
4276048 I would have guessed tomboyish female or California dude. Actually, there's an old anime trope of gender ambiguous characters that this would fit with.
Anywho, I liked the eyes as well. 
4264662 Whenever you make that and do a blog post announcing it, tag this story so we all might hear about it please?
Bonbon: Doctor what happened?!
Doctor: I'm sorry it appears your marefriend suffers from a case of sillitus
Bonbon: Is there a cure?
Doctor: Buggered if I know I just get paid to stand here and sound fancy.
Police Officer: Right then, Right then, silly silly silly, get on with it!
Scene transition to man behind desk.
Man behind desk: Oh! Right, sorry, and now for something completely different.
This except has been brought to you by Monty Python's Flying Circus for Ponies.
4269373 And I hope you realize Raspberry is a shortened version of Raspberry tarts, rhyming slang for fart. It was farts all along nuuuuu
4277066 Sure, I can do that