On The Wings of Wind

by Chazonic

Chapter 12 - Meet the Princess... Kind Of (A Bird In The Hoof)

"I really need to get something to do in here..."

When I saw Rainbow Dash again after her trip, she complimented me for a good job, yet it seemed like she was... disappointed? I pointed it out to her and she got rather defensive. After that... well we started taking snips at each other again, though it was toned down more than before our 'actual' race.

I have isolated myself from the rest of the community again by retreating back home after both my jobs. Groceries are the lone exception to this, though I always head home right after. When Applejack heard about my interactions with her sister and her friends, she asked me why I wasn't continuing to do so. My vague answer was that I felt like I was getting in their way.She didn't look like she believed me.

From the way things seem, she must hate lies. That's good, I'll just keep lying to her and she won't get too comfortable with me.

Current status as is follows:

I'm avoiding Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and the Crusaders. It pains me to do so, but for the good of mine and their emotional health, it must be done.

I don't have to worry about Rainbow Dash and possibly Applejack. They most likely will turn their heads the other way when I leave, which is fine.

Rarity, I need to be wary, but I think I'm in the clear with her. Twilight, I know next to nothing about, other than she's a librarian. For good measure, I'll see if I can't avoid them too.

After all... if you are alone, no-pony can hurt you...

This leads me to my current conundrum. I don't have any books I can read, or any sort of entertainment in place. I could always do various exercises to keep myself fit, but I'm otherwise left with nothing to do.

Looking in my fridge, I spy milk, apples, celery, lettuce, apple juice, onions, tomatoes--

"Oh crap! I forgot sugar and flour. Guess I'm going back to the market again... stupid short-term memory."

When I saw Sugar Cube Corner, I notice two gruff ponies wearing golden armor standing outside the entrance.

Royal guards? Why are they here? Are they somehow in the middle of a drug bust? I always wondered why Pinkie Pie acted so hyper all the time...

Rainbow Dash suddenly jumps out the door before saying, "So... what do I have to do to become one of the Princesses royal guards anyways?"

Wait... what?

"Is the pay good?"

Stoic.

"Hellooooo. Anybody home?"

Anybody?

Still stoic. Rainbow Dash stares at one before making funny faces and noises. When she stuck her hoof in her mouth and made a fart sound, I found it hard to not laugh.

"Oooooh, you're good..." I let out a snort of laughter which made her face me in surprise. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough to see you do all that. Hahaha, that face you made when you stuck your hoof in your mouth. Getting a little puffed there, eh Rainbow?"

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever, I'm going back in. I'm bored." With that, she leaps back into the door.

Still chuckling, I walk past the store, ignoring the guards.

"...Hah, phew... made it!"

Oh good Luna, not again... The Headaches, part six: Return of the Karma...

I turn around, just in time to see the guards block Fluttershy with their wings.

"Halt!"

"Who goes there?"

*Gulp* "no-one... never mind, I'll go home."

Geeze, never knew she was such a-- wait, 'no-one'?

"It's alright sirs, she's on the list." I saw Twilight poking her head out and her hoof on their wings before they retracted them. Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief before heading in.

All I could do was sit there and stare with a shocked expression, brain totally broken.

Sadly, Twilight seemed to have noticed me. "Oh, Zephyr! Why don't you join us? Let him in as well." And with that, she retreats with Fluttershy in tow.

Oh no no no no, she must be somepony important if she can order royal guards like that! If I turn her down, the consequences could be ENORMOUS!

I think the guards actually looked at me when I started having a dancing panic attack, but I didn't care.

I-I guess I have no other choice... I HAVE to do this, or I may as well live outside of civilization for the rest of my life! I would like to try and avoid that.

With hesitation, I walk towards the entrance. The guards didn't block me, so I quickly slipped by.

A lanky yellow stallion walked out of the kitchen with a tray of... mini pies? "How's everypony doing? Good? Good."

The mare that served me the other day was standing next to--

P-Princess C-Celestia?

I had heard tales of her regal and graceful, yet powerful form. White, wearing golden garments, and a billowing mane that looked like an aurora borealis.

I immediately started giving off a cold sweat. I was never prepared to even catch a glimpse of the esteemed ruler of Equestria, yet here she is. It was scaring me... horribly.

I'll just... sit off in the corner and hope no-pony sees me...

Looking around, I spot an incredibly nervous Twilight with a rather calm Fluttershy-- Damn these headaches... -- walking towards the Princess.

"Oh, you and your tender, loving care of little animals. I just know Princess Celestia is gonna love that about you. I mean, I hope she will... I mean, of course she will!" She was twitching a lot.

"Wow, Twilight. I thought I was the only one who got nervous at social gatherings."

My thoughts exactly... oh, why did I have to eat four apples for breakfast today?

"Oh, it's not that. I just want the princess to approve of my friends." This caught me off guard. My mind started reeling with reasons as to why Twilight answered directly to her Highness.

"But she's met us all before."

Ungaaaahhhhhhh...

"And read about you in my letters." I started having an internal panic attack. "But this is the first time she's spent any real time with you. I want everypony to make a good impression. "

"Well, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Besides, it's just a casual get-together, right?" She was looking around, slightly nervous.

"Don't touch me!" I look over to see Rarity in one of the dresses I saw at the boutique. "Watch the dress! Careful, you're gonna spill that on me! Oh, oh, that looks delicious. What is it? Oh, does it stain?! Keep it away from me!"

Why did you wear it, then? I wanted to ask out loud, but my want to be left alone kept my mouth shut.

Fluttershy winced slightly. "Or... perhaps not that casual."

Ya think? The tension in the air is so thick, you could cut it.

"Uh... which is the salad and which is the appetizer again?" I notice Applejack with a bib, which made me force down a painful snort of laughter, and sweating. "And which am I supposed to eat first?" She reached for different food three times before saying, "oh, never mind. I'm not hungry."

Ironic. The country bumpkin is one of the few polite ones. Besides, everypony knows that first comes the appetizer, usually soup, then the starter or salad, followed by the main course, and finishing with dessert or pudding. She probably regrets not looking it up before coming here.

"It's okay, Twilight. So our friends' manners aren't perfect. I doubt the princess will even notice."

Que something to happen in three... two... one...

"Whoo-hoo!" Pinkie Pie was jumping all over the place. "Cupcakes, candies and pies, oh my!" she hits herself with a pie. "Oooh! Chocolate fountainy goodness!" She gets her head covered in chocolate. It hardens, then cracks open, with her somehow chewing some.

Yup, she still scares me...

Suddenly she's by the Princess. She says, "you gonna eat that?" Before promptly eating one of her cupcakes out of her magic.

My reaction was similar to the two catering the party, minus the loud gasp. After pulling away the pink pony with a "hey", they apologized and filled the tea cup every time the Princess takes a sip.

Ok, I have no room to judge, but that's being a little obnoxious--

The cup overflowed. "Gotcha!"

...Wut?

Twilight, who happened to be nearby, let out a whimper before the Princess turned towards her and Fluttershy. "And what about you, dear? Fluttershy, is it?"

Time for me to block that conversation out. My headache is already there, no need to make it worse...

---

It continued for a while like this. There have been ponies looking at me curiously and the few who tried to talk to me only got a few vague responses. Princess Celestia suddenly stood up and said, "I'm sorry, everypony. I'm afraid I have to cut the party short." Twilight looked like she was stopped herself from spitting out her drink. "The mayor has requested an audience with me. Royal duty calls. Thank you for a wonderful time. It's been a joy getting to know you all better."

As she said that, she looked around the room. When her gaze rested on me, I shrank back further into my corner. Luckily, she got up and exited the bakery without second thought.

I was still plastered to the corner, feeling like I just avoided a cannonball. Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew she was gracious ruler, but my default paranoia being multiplied by my apple-induced high-strung nature put me on edge... to the extreme.

After most of the ponies have left, I quickly took my exit as well. I still had business in the market--

"HEY"

Look Ma! I can see an entire village from up here. Freaking Pinkie Pie...

After slowly making my way back down, I made sure to land in the market in order to grab what I still need.

---

Princess Celestia, Town Hall.

---

"... And that concludes everything I needed to say. Thank you for taking time to listen to my concerns. " The mayor was talking to Celestia about general issues and the current status of Ponyville.

"I assure you it was no trouble on my part. However, I am slightly curious about a deep green pegasus stallion that I saw during the party earlier."

The mayor thought for a moment. "You mean Zephyr Earthwing?"

"Indeed. I know that most of the ponies in town couldn't attend the party, but when I saw all the Ponyville residence after my sister's return, he was not among them."

"Oh yes, He moved in a short while ago to be the new Wind Manager. However, a lot of the residents think he's weird."

Celestia frowned. "Weird? Please elaborate."

"He's rather... 'out there'. He interacts with ponies just fine one day, the next he's shutting himself in his house refusing to come out."

Celestia frowns. "Interesting... how much interaction has he had?"

The mayor sighed. "Not much. The only ponies who interact with him all the time are Rainbow Dash and the Apple family. To me, it sounds like he intentionally avoids interaction unless it's necessary."

The Princess mulled over it with a bit of a sad look. She often encourages her subjects to have meaningful friendships, which is one basis of her rule. To have one of her subjects intentionally avoid such a thing made her sad.

"I'll have my faithful student look into it for me. From the reaction I got from him during the party, talking to him myself would not be very productive..."

---

Zephyr Earthwing, Town Plaza.

---

I had taken notice of a few posters depicting some kind of bird being put up by the guards from earlier. Luckily I recovered from my apple-induced high-strung nature, so when they suddenly appeared behind me to ask me about "Princess Celestia's pet bird," I didn't rocket back into the sky.

Finding what I forgot was more of a pain then I realized. The flour was easy enough, but the sugar was oddly scarce.

Guess there's nothing more to it... I'll just head back home and bake some--

I notice a bird looking similar to the one on the poster sitting next to it. It suddenly drew Very pronounced eyebrows and a mustache in such a way, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Bwahahahaha. Ok, that's gold. A bird drawing facial hair that detailed is actually pretty funny." I stopped laughing when a few feathers fell off said bird. "Are you molting?"

It ran off and clamored on top of the fountain statue. on the other side was Applejack, Rarity, and--

Oh sweet, merciful Celestia, not Pinkie Pie!

Suddenly, Pinkie Pie was lifted by Fluttershy. "Excuse me!"

"Hi!" I facehoof. My headache returned AGAIN, but I was curious as to what Fluttershy was up to.

Didn't help when I started snickering in laughter when Twilight picked up Rarity, who responded with "Put me down!"

"What in tarnation?" Was all Applejack said.

Fluttershy looked around, worried. "Sorry, but we've gotta find--"

"The Princess's pet bird!" I look up at the now almost featherless bird.

I'm sorry, but that cough seems exaggerated.

"Philomena, come down from there! You'll hurt yourself!"

Suddenly, Philomena started going through some overly dramatic death rattle, before falling off the statue.

"I'll catch you!" Fluttershy rushes forth in an attempt to catch the bird.

Only for it to spontaneously combust.

The girls all gasped while I deadpanned.

Fluttershy started crying.

* * *

"I-I-I o-only w-wanted t-to h-help!"

"You tried your best. That's all anypony could ask for..."

* * *

I hoped none of the ponies on the other side of the fountain notice me on the ground, clutching my head in pain.

The next thing I heard was, "oh, stop fooling around, Philomena. You're scaring everypony."

I look up in time to see ash swirling up into the sky, suddenly forming a red and gold bird in a flash of light. I had to avert my eyes, as my headache wasn't subdued yet.

Fluttershy was the first to speak. "I don't understand! What is that thing? What happened to Philomena?"

Celestia smiled at the bird perched on her foreleg. "This is Philomena. She's quite a sight, as I said. But nothing unusual for a phoenix. Isn't that right, Philomena?" There was a squawk of confirmation.

That explains a lot...

"A... A phoenix?"

Celestia gave an explanation of what a phoenix is, oddly whispering one part. "I'm afraid mischievous little Philomena here took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Fluttershy. Say you're sorry, young lady."

When Philomena gave an 'I'm sorry' squawk, I fought the urge to say, "that's you! That's how dumb you sound. I didn't want anypony knowing I was right there, eavesdropping.

I quickly got off the ground and hide on top of a nearby house, looking out onto the scene. I notice the phoenix flying around after giving a feather to Fluttershy. Rainbow Dash whispered something, and Philomena tickled the noses of the guards, causing them to laugh. Everypony else but me started laughing as well.

I took my leave after that. I felt that my presence was insignificant, something I accepted a long time ago...

Unfortunately, for my current mindset, the Princess saw me fly away.

Comments

[amiamera]

Ok here's a more thorough critique of the story than my one original comment from the one chapter. First off you're story is one that both intrigues me and has numerous issues that turn me off. First, you want some type of pre-reader or reading the chapter backwards once (ie sentence by sentence or paragraph by paragraph) to catch the very simple typos and other errors (such as a missing end quotation mark).

You're story has a pacing problem but the source of that problem is a bigger problem with numerous scenes within your story. You forgot to ask yourself why you were adding things. I have to ask why you decided to tie this story into the episodes of the show. By doing so you have limited your story significantly and are forced to have things happen that neither advance the plot, the protagonist, or the relevant portions of the setting. I'll point to the most recent chapter, chapter 12. The first half of the story is a rehash of "Bird in Hoof" with absolutely nothing relevant to our protagonist happening. Nothing relevant happens until the conversation between Celestia and the Mayor. That's a lot of wasted words that don't serve any real purpose. You're goal with every scene is that it should serve more than one purpose.

Another point along the same lines of not asking why is the addition of certain language. In a novel or any form of published writing have you seen someone describe the situation in terms of "dawww?" Further, why add things like fourth wall breaking Pinkie Pie which so far has served no purpose to the story other than having fourth wall breaking Pinkie Pie. I could point to other instances but the point still stands. For further help with you're writing, I'd recommend listening to Writing Excuses as they cover, in earlier seasons, items such as making sure a scene serves more than one purpose and why.

Another issue tied into the pacing is your lack of direction and focus. We seem to have unrelated scenes and rehashes of what has happened sometimes (example of the protag listing his current standing with everyone) and having some scenes that advance neither character nor plot nor relevant setting. I say relevant setting both times because advancing time relative to the episodes of the show isn't relevant as it doesn't directly affect the main character most of the time to the point where you are wasting words by bothering to reference and tie into the show.

[Chazonic]

4812126

By doing so you have limited your story significantly and are forced to have things happen that neither advance the plot, the protagonist, or the relevant portions of the setting

The protagonist part of this is actually deliberate, though I may have been a bit too vague on that detail, and for that I apologize.
Said protagonist isn't contributing much because he feels that 'less interaction equates to a lower chance of becoming attached to anypony else'. I'll be sure to go into more detail as to why he's like that in the future. Having a more... modified version of the canon episodes will be more of a focus after this point in time, outside of more original chapters.

Other than that, I feared such issues with my story would pop up sooner or later. After all, trying to get the personalities of the official cast down, especially Pinkie Pie, is a bit unnerving for me.

The D'aww part was my attempt at a cute moment, though while it seems cute to me personally, I guess it came off as more cringe-worthy to other people like yourself.

We seem to have unrelated scenes and rehashes of what has happened sometimes (example of the protag listing his current standing with everyone)

The protag listing current standings is another example of his paranoia, though I guess once again, I was being too vague about it.

I'll be sure to check out Writing Excuses to see how I can improve at all.

Though one thing I'm curious about. Taking my stupidity with some of my writing into account, along with how thorough you were with your critique, Why did you fav me regardless of it all? I know you said it intriques you, but for some odd reason it confuses me.

[amiamera]

4812734
I think I just realized another issue that may be a partial cause of the bad pacing and general dissatisfaction I have with the protagonist to a certain degree. By the nature of his creation he is very non-proactive and that means that he is only reacting which makes for a normally less interesting character for an audience. We like characters who want to do or go for something (that's a positive version. Avoiding something is NOT doing something or NOT wanting something and therefore not something that is generally preferred).

[Chazonic]

4813062

He WILL become more proactive in the future. Not saying anything specific, but I kinda had it in mind for 'character development'. Course it may have been a bit too much, and using the whole mood-swing excuse again would just come off as lame...

What to do...

[Neutral Boy]

This is going to be something interesting now that Princess Celestia has caught an attention to Zephyr.

[Dragon of Shadows]

The cup overflowed. "Gotcha!"