The Battle We All Face

by Sweet Tale

Not This Again!

“...and from the rock sample taken at Site F3, I was able to discover that…”

The life of a librarian is never dull. Especially the librarian of Golden Oaks Library in Ponyville. Who would have thought that one of the Princesses of Equestria would choose to remain living in Ponyville!

“...had broken off from a large asteroid that may have hit our planet some seven hundred…”

Princess Twilight Sparkle was proud to be a librarian. Books were her life. Knowledge was her forte. Friendship was her best quality. And that quality was put to the test quite recently. Pinkie Pie’s sister, Maud, had come to visit and her time here was...well, tricky was an understatement.

But Twilight Sparkle knew what to do. With her best friends, they managed to make a friendship with Maud and learn a few things about themselves. Although, that wasn’t all that Twilight learnt.

“In conclusion, the rocks on the Pie Family Rock Farm could quite possibly be thousands, if not MILLIONS, of years old! Further investigation is needed at this time and more information will be added when it becomes available.

Princess Twilight Sparkle”

With her work completed, she let out a satisfied yawn. “Nothing like a whole lot of research before bedtime.” Arching her back, she felt a familiar pop and shuddered at the feeling. “A cup of cocoa and then straight to bed. Spike should be back soon as well." Her horn lit up, casting the spell to copy her work onto other sheets of parchment.

The smell of the cocoa powder flooded her nostrils as she poured it into her mug. Soon, the warmth of this drink will be cascading down her--

*CLUNK*

A noise. A dull thud. It caught her attention.

*GRRRRRR*

A terrible grinding noise fully caught Twilight’s attention. “No...not again.” She hid behind her fridge, keeping her out of view from the library’s centre. “I thought I had him beat!” she shouted in whisper. “No matter, I beat him once. I can stop him again!” Her horn lit, she jumped out and shone it at what had disturbed her library.

Just over three hooves tall, the being was grasping on her recent notes. “FIEND!” The parchment was lit up in her raspberry aura as she tried to take it back. But the being held it tight, not releasing her notes. “NO, GIVE THOSE BACK!!!” Twilight raged.

*GRRRRRRRR*

The being growled again and grabbed her parchment tighter. A few strands of Twilight’s mane pinged out in frustration. Her right eye twitched as her breathing got louder and louder. “You will not destroy my notes!” Reaching into her innermost magical knowledge, her horn lit up once again, pointing it at the being’s head. “Defend yourself against this!”

The being groaned as it took a powerful spell to it’s head. Then...nothing.

“Did...did I win?” She prodded the being with her hoof, hearing an audible thunk as she did so. “Hello?” She prodded it again but still nothing happened. Feeling triumphant, the lavender pony wore a smug grin as she smiled down at the being. “That will teach you to mess with my work!”

*CLICK*

A lavender ear twitched as the being made a faint noise. “No...just can’t...GAH!” She made to grab her notes from her clutches but as soon as she pulled, the being came back to life and grabbed her notes with it’s almighty strength. “NO! NOT AGAIN!” Twilight shouted as her strength couldn’t match the being’s.

Twilight felt terrified as this being, made of such a weak material, was overpowering her with ease. She glared the being down as it continued to pull at her notes. The continuous grinding noise was pure hell to Twilight’s ears as she watched her work being crumped.

“I can’t take this!” Her anger had reached it’s limit. Raising her hoof, she brought it down on the being with immense force.

The being’s head had come clean off!

“HAHAA! Now who’s stronger!” Twilight was hitting her crazy stage, her mane becoming more frazzled by the second. Reaching in, she rummaged around the being’s head, making various thumps and clangs sound out. Pulling hard, she ripped out a small block.

The block was dripping with red liquid and the being went silent.

“Oh...OH NO!” What had she done? All this being wanted was to hold onto her notes. And what did she do? She pummelled it with her hooves and ripped out it’s brain! “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Her eyes becoming misty, she tried her hardest to put the block back into the being’s head. With no luck, she tried once again to retrieve her notes from the being’s grasp. Pulling slowly, it was coming loose! She almost had--

*RRRIIIPPP*

“NOOO!” The tears finally ran down her cheeks as she collapsed against the being’s frame. “Why would you do this to me? What did I ever do to you!” The hooves of the errant alicorn repeatedly slammed against the casing as she broke down - her work now in various mis-matched pieces.

---

The path to the library always seemed longer for Spike due to his size. With a hefty bag of gems slung over his shoulder, he resisted to dive right into them there and then.

“I can’t wait to get these home. I should try making that cake again. Maybe I should ask Twilight to stop me from eating them all.” Spike said to himself, licking his lips at the thought of a huge gem cake.

Opening the door, the sight before him was a familiar one. Facepalming with his free hand, he set his gems down and approached the sleeping alicorn.

“Twi?” He prodded her once. “Twi-light?” he asked her in song.

The alicorn stirred before her eyes fluttered open. “Hng...Spike?” She looked up at the machine next to her. “Oh Spike...something terrible happened.”

“Yeah, I saw that.” Helping Twilight to her hooves, he ushered her towards her bedroom. “What did I tell you to do last time it happened?”

Twilight blushed and hung her head low.

“If there’s a paper jam, don’t hit the photocopier.”

Author's Note:

Just a little something I came up with when I was walking home from work at 3 in the morning. Hope you enjoyed it!

Comments

[DBZcrossover fan]

This is hilarious

[GeodesicDragon]

Oh, Twilight. Don't ever change.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Typical Twilight.

[Crab Spy]

Genius.

Absolute genius.

[Blade Star]

So very Twilight.

My Dad actually did something similar, only to a wheelie bin after the bin lorry ate it by accident.

In, this fic makes me think of this:

[Seether00]

I'll just leave this here.

[Swashbucklist]

4110123

Twilight: "Spiiiiiike, yeeeaaah... Listen, I'm gonna need you to work overtime on Tuesday? Greeeaaat."

[Seether00]

4110270

I can totally see Twilight as the terrible boss.

Celestia and Luna can be the Bobs.

[Jake8765]

Haha.

[nothingtoseehere]

4110270 I can set the building on fire. And put strychnine in the guacamole.

[JoeReads]

...
Here's some music to cleanse your brain-muscles

[MultiGamer]

I thought for sure it was her trying to get Spike in the bath after he got back. Like when he didn't want to wash his cheek after Rarity kissed him.

[PoniesAndGames]

fluttershbad:::fluttershysad:

[Dustin Lange]

I just broke out in laughter in the middle of my class, and I had to read it out loud in front of my entire class...
They all laughed!

[Sweet Tale]

4113431 Did they enjoy it?

[Dustin Lange]

4113497
They all laughed till some had tears!

[Knight of Cerebus]

Some music to read this by.

[CelestialKnight79]

I liked it, but it was kind of hard to read. I thought she was fighting some kind of gremlin.

[regspam]

4114386
I guess it was somwhat the point that the "being" being fought is ambiguous.
There wouldn't be a punch line otherwise.

[CelestialKnight79]

4114446
Sorry, didn't mean to ruffle any feathers with my comment. The humor was just lost to me is all.

[LokiPon3]

About halfway through the story, I kept hearing Danny Sexbang yelling, "GODDAMN SPINNAKERS!" in my head.

[lunarstallion]

HA! It was the red ink cartridge!

[Fourpony]

Quick, short, and funny. Mirroring many people's frustrations with everyday evils. I luckily have avoided the dreaded paper jam, I just have to deal with unsupported drivers.

[Nightheart]

i freaking love stories like this.
bravo.

[Dan]

DAMMIT, If I was on the IT staff, I wouldn't hesitate to set her machine to autocorrect "and" to "Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch"

That'll teach her to rough up the eqiupment!

[articunos bitch]

I half expected it to be Flash Sentry when you mentioned everyone's worst enemy. But yes, this is a greater foe.

[Bad_Seed_72]

Ahahaha! Reminds me of the printer at work!

[Kivo Coyote]

Very cute.. true Twilight fashion.

[ImaginaryCatnip]

Splendid, you've made me laugh so hard haha! Liked and Favored you deserve it!

[Sweet Tale]

4118384 *gasp* YOU liked my story?! That has made my day, I freaking love your work!

[Bad_Seed_72]

4119266

Aww! Well, thanks!

[Anyne]

had reached it’s limit

Its, not it's. Its shows possession, whereas it's is short for it is

[ShiningNova]

at first cute little twilight then
nothing could be going on here then
twilight you monster what have you done then
haha I hate paper jams

[Skeeter The Lurker]

Hah!

This was quite clever, really.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[IkioStar]

4124108 It was, wasn't it?

You think it'll get featured?

[Sweet Tale]

4124828 It's still in the 'Popular Stories' section so I'm pretty happy with that

[IkioStar]

4124916 Well, it's in Skeetur's favorites, so you'd never know. I think I'll hold out for a bit. I'm willing to suspect you'll have a lot more visitors soon.

[Loganberry]

"Books were her life. Knowledge was her forte."

Her book... forte?

I couldn't resist it. Sorry. Well, all right, not really.

[SirTruffles]

i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

[SirShadestrider]

Nice one!

[Geoice]

Ahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahahhahahahahhahahahahahah

[Hillbe]

Good one, A cubical hamster machine

[Razzy]

[TheOneAJ]

https://m.