Because Ponies Are the Size of Cats and They Love to Cuddle

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Introductions

"Hey! Heeeeeeeeey!"

I spin my head to see a figure waving dramatically to us from underneath a spreading polycarbon tree. Aynrandy stands up from a blanket spread over a patch of luscious green grass. A tiny gray thing in a yellow hoodie squats beside him with a bucket full of rocks and pebbles.

"Over heeeeere!" Aynrandy waves harder, his bright teeth reflecting the purple and brown swirls of Jupiter above. "Pony meetup! Woohoo!"

"Yeesh, keep it down, will ya?" I mutter, glaring left and right as I cross the length of the lawn between us. "Let's not startle half of Ganymede."

"Come on, honey!" He chuckles, slapping my shoulder with a laugh. "I swear, you're almost as stonefaced as Michigan over here."

"Don't 'honey' me," I mutter. "And for the last time, it's Maud. For Zoram's sake, don't you know your own pony?!"

"I know she likes saltine crackers. Hah!" He snaps a pointing finger at me. "How about that for equine-human bonding!"

"Have you tried Chex Mix?"

His jaw drops as he slinks away from me. "No waaaaaaaay! Dude!"

"Maud!" Applejack chirps merrily from my arms. She squirms and squirms, and I'm forced to lower her to the ground. "Well, whallop my wither! It sure is a hoot to see ya!" She trots across the blanket and nuzzles the mare cheek-to-cheek. "How y'all been, girl?!"

"Applejack." Maud takes three and a half seconds to blink. "I remember you. Your name has apples in it." Another three and a half seconds. "Just like your cutie mark."

"Err... yeah! It sure does! Heheheh... y'know, come to think of it..." Applejack cranes her neck. "Reckon I never did see yer cutie mark, what with that gray number you were always wearin' when you visited us in Ponyville n'all—"

Maud's gaze remains locked on Applejack's face as she lifts the lower hem of her yellow hoodie. There's the illustration of a brightly grinning clown pony on her flank.

"... ... ..." Applejack scratches her blonde head. "Huh..."

"I feel that it reflects my personality," Maud drones.

"Sure thang." Applejack turns and tilts her freckled face up, smiling. "And howdy, Mr. Aynrandy! I dun think I've had the pleasure of—Whoa nelly!" Her mane flounces as she's lifted up in the air.

"Applejaaaaaaack!" Aynrandy beams, holding her up high with two strong hands. "Look at you! I've heard soooooooo much about you!" He cradles her and tickles under her neck. "Word on the grape vine is that you've been brightening a certain someone's life!"

"Heeheehee!" She giggles, folding her forelimbs up to her chest. "W-well yer certainly a friendly critter! Heehee! I sure hope I haven't put anyone out of a job!"

"Pffft! You kidding?!" Aynrandy shrugs toward me. "I can't make this one smile even if I pretend to play dead!" He turns and smirks my way. "Forgot to shave this morning?"

"Okaaaaaaaaay, Ayn." I reach in and scoop Applejack up. "Time to give the tiny horse back to me..."

"Myeeeh!" He sticks his tongue out. "Party pooper."

"Nothing to poop on, yet. The day's just started." I place Applejack down and strip of my backpack. "Your apples are in there, AJ."

"Thanks a'plenty, darlin'!"

"Maud! Hey, girl!" I set the backpack aside and kneel beside the mare, grinning. "How are you today?"

"The same as yesterday," she throats. "Albeit closer to a final death at the cellular level as a result of entropy."

"She's just a regular bag of kittens," Ayn said with a smirk. "Kittens that don't even mind drowning!" Whap! "Owie!"

I slide my foot back after kicking him. "Don't mind my friend. He means well. Speaking of which..." I sit on folded legs before the mare. "How'd your trip to the moons of Mars go?"

"It was the most exciting time of my entire young life," Maud drones. "Please forgive me, for I am still bursting with enlightenment."

"... ... ..." I lean back towards Applejack. "I can't tell if she's serious or being sarcastic."

"Heh..." Applejack pulls the apples out of her bag and lines them up neatly on the blanket. "Try a little somewhere in between."

"Show him your pet, Maud!" Aynrandy exclaims.

"Wait..." I do a double-take. "They can bring pets now?! The Professor didn't tell me that!"

"Shows how much you know, Dr. Frankenstuckup. Go on, Maud."

Maud reaches into the pouch of her yellow hoodie and pulls out a small stone.

I blink. "A rock?"

"His name is Boulder."

"But of course..."

"I'm introducing him to my new friends." Maud taps the bucket full of pebbles in front of her. "They followed us home from Phobos and Deimos."

"Well, just... y'know..." I shrug with a smirk. "Don't get them mixed up with him, huh?"

"That is highly unlikely," she says. "Boulder is too nervous to jump into the bucket with them."

"Oh yeah?"

"He's very shy around rocks with highly contrasting isotopic signatures."

"Heheheh..." Aynrandy squats down and pets the back of Maud's head. "We've sure learned a lot on our field trip, haven't we, Maud?"

"Terra Firma and Luna formed as a result of the planetoid Theia colliding with earth when it was in its early molten stages," Maud says. "Homo sapiens owe their very existence to a large rock hitting an even larger rock to create a third rock." Three and a half seconds of blinking. "I knew that I was in love with this universe the very moment I set hoof in it."

"Whew!" Applejack shook her head with a dumb grin. "I'm startin' to see the Pinkie in her. Pull her tail and she just goes!"

"Say, Applejack..." I look over my shoulder with a smirk. "How'd you get those apples to become so plump?"

"Are ya kiddin' me?!" She gawks at the three of us, eyes wide. "Why..." She scoops some of the fruit to her hoodie'd chest and explains, "These come from the mid-field orchard that we have growin' right by the south side of the farmhouse! Unlike the rest of the trees in Sweet Apple Acres, the orchard that these babies were hoof-picked from have been finely grafted to the rootstock of their ancestors in order to best preserve the scrumptious taste and fresh budding—"

Aynrandy and I are giggling like mad.

Applejack stomps her hooves. "Now cut that out!" She blushes, hiding part of her face beneath her hoodie's neckline. "Alright... alright! I get it! To each their own."

"God's Hooks!" Aynrandy grins at me. "She's almost as adorable as Maud!"

In an instant, I stop laughing and squint at him. "What do you mean 'almost?'"

"So..." Applejack pushes the apples back in place across the blanket. "When are the others comin' along?"

"Well, I just got off the holophone with Piersmorgan and Rushlimbaugh," Aynrandy says. "They're running a bit late, but they'll make it before too long."

"Anyone else you know from the office?" I ask.

"Pffft! They're all on the Viking's payroll, sweetie. We're bound to recognize them in some capacity."

"Oh, how I wish you'd stop calling our boss that—"

"Oh! Lookie!" Aynrandy shades his eyes as he stares across the park. "There comes one of them now!"

"Who?" I turn to squint. "The Vikin—er... I-I mean...?"

"Hah!" Anyrandy smirks as he stands up. "It's Rickygervais!"

"From accounting?"

"Wowsers, I've never seen her in a skirt."

"Well, you only live once." I stand up, brushing my pants off. "...unless you inhale the dust of Mercury, of course."

"Of course. H-hey! Ricky!" Aynrandy signals with his hand. "Over here, girl!"

She struts up, a petite thing with straight auburn hair. She blinks at us, clutching the shoulder-strap of her satchel. "Erm... h-hi there..."

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"I notice you didn't bring a pony with you," Aynrandy says.

"Well... uh..." Rickygervais fidgets, staring down at our quadruped friends. "That's just the thing." She leans forward and whispers, "You actually let them follow you through the City?"

"Why not?" I ask.

"Isn't it kinda dangerous? I mean, they're so small."

"Ain't no big whoop!" Applejack crosses her legs, smiling up at the stranger. "Besides, we got nothin' like this back at home! I don't mind gettin' an eyeful, even if it means bumpin' into things now and then!"

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Rickygervais instantly kneels down in front of Applejack. "She even has an accent! That's so cuuuuuuute!" A giggle. "You must be Applejack!" She reaches forward, freezes, and looks up at me, biting her lip. "Uhm... is it okay if I hug her?"

I giggle. "Don't ask me!" I point. "Ask her!"

"Uhm, Miss Applejack?" Rickygervais asks. "Would you be terribly offended if I—?"

"Way ahead of ya, sugarcube." Applejack throws herself forward, snuggling the lady's right arm.

"Ohhhhhh! She's so friendlyyyyy!"

"Yeah." I clear my throat. "I've noticed."

"And hello!" Ricky pivots and brushes a hand through Maud's mane. "Aren't you the quiet type!"

"My heartbeat produces zero point ninety-five decibels of sound."

"Oh... well... uhm..." Rickygervais smiles nervously. "You're certainly getting one point two out of me right now!"

"I'm guessing you brought your Article with you," Aynrandy says.

"R-right!" Ricky unclasps her satchel, reaching in with shuffling fingers. "I figured it was the safest thing to summon my little friend once I finally here."

"Well, if you ask me, you should show her the sights sometime!" Applejack exclaims. "Sure would be a shame not to see Ganymede with her own peepers!"

"They're ponies, Ricky," Ayn says with a chuckle. "Not footstools."

"I-I know! It's just that... well..." Ricky fidgets. "This one's kinda... delicate."

"Delicate?" I ask.

"You'll see." Rickygervais pulls out a green felt hoodie, unfolds it, and pulls on the strings. "Aaaaaaand—"

With a flash of light, a petite-petite thing with a peach coat appears before us. Instantly, she gasps, covering her muzzle with a flounce of cyan hair.

"Hey." Rickygervais leans in and strokes the mare's short mane. "Hey, it's okay! It's okay, Coco. We're just outside! That's why it's so bright..."

"Outside...?" With a lasting tremble, the pony lowers her hooves, squinting one cyan eye after another. "Wow..." She sits up straight, jaw dropped. "The sky is purple!"

"Coco Pommel!" Applejack gasps, hopping over Maud's rocks and trotting over to her. "As I live and breathe! How're you doin'?"

"Huh?" Coco looks over. She gasps with a calm smile. "Why... if it isn't Ms. Rarity's friend!"

"Darn tootin'!" Applejack reaches in and shakes the mare's hoof vigorously. "Haven't seen y'all since Manehattan! Is the fashion world treatin' ya well?"

"Uh-hh-hh-hh!" Coco's voice undulates as she wobbles on the other end of Applejack's hoof-shake. "I-I-I gue-gue-guess you c-c-could say that!"

"Applejack," I gently chide.

"Whoops!" Applejack winces and takes a step back. "I beg yer pardon." She tips a hat that isn't there. "Reckon I ain't used to bumpin' into thangs in this world that's smaller than me."

"You got one thing right..." Coco gulped, backing into Rickygervais as she stares around the wide, wide park. "Everything here is big."

"You mean to tell us y'all ain't used to it?!" Applejack chortles. "Yer from Manehattan, girl!"

"Yes... but this is big and different." Coco gulps.

"If you're so easily overwhelmed, why volunteer for the experiment in the first place?" Aynrandy asks.

"I-I was dying to know what kind of fashion you humans were into." Coco relaxes into Rickygervais' arms, smiling up at us. "Clothes on bipeds... it means thinking vertically. It's a mind-expanding concept, and already it's influenced some of my designs back home." She looks up at me. "I particularly like what you're wearing."

"Heh..." I shrug with a smirk. "I just threw it on."

"Yes, but it's so vibrant."

"Well, you obviously have a taste for beauty, Coco." Aynrandy kneels besides Ricky and pats the mare's head. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He freezes in place, his eyes bulging. "Holy Zoram, she's so soft."

"I knowwww..." Rickygervais coos, hugging the earth pony tighter. "You should see the photos she brings with her! She wears a tiny little collar with a tiny little tie back home! Eeeeee! So adorbs!"

Coco rolls her eyes. "Yes, yes... Say, that reminds me. Ricky? Could I have my sewing kit? Pretty please?"

"Sure thing, sweetie!" Ricky pulls out a pair of needles and some yarn from her satchel. "Here you go."

"Thank you so much..." Coco glances across the way at the other ponies. "I-I tend to relax better when I'm doing at least a little bit of work."

"Must be pretty dang annoyin' to not be able to sport what yer designin'," Applejack says, then gestures to her Article. "With these bulky hoodies in the way and all."

"Heehee... I don't mind!" Coco smiles. "Mine keeps me nice and warm." She turns to Maud. "Yours is especially complementary. I don't think I've seen the color yellow put to such good use, Ms.—?"

"Maud Pie," the mare drones. "Have you ever tried making a dress out of rocks?"

"Erm..." Coco fidgets with her needles. "C-can't say that I have."

"That is unfortunate." A three and a half second blink. "I need something to wear for a dance."

"Oooh! You mean the Grand Galloping Gala? Fall Formal?"

"No, the Dance of Rocks in my home town."

Coco bites her lip, ears folded.

"It's all the rage," Maud adds.

Silence.

"Whew-wee!" Applejack beams. "Off to a rollickin' good start!"

"Are we early?" Rickygervais asks.

"Just barely!" Aynrandy exclaims, pointing down the nearby path. "Here come two more!"

"Really?" I turn around. "Where?"

"The ones walking up right behind the runaway stray dog."

"Huh?!"

"D-dog?!" Coco leaps into Rickygervais' arms. "Wh-where?!"

"Ayn, that's not a dog," I grumble. "It's a pony... I think."

"Whatever it is, it's coming in fast—WHOAH!" Aynrandy has to jump as a yellow thing in a red hoodie barrels underneath him and immediately tackles Applejack.

"Ooof!" Applejack falls back.

"AJ!" I gasp.

"Yeeeeeeha!" a mare in a blood-colored Article tosses her green ponytail back and grins ecstatically down at Applejack. "Well, butter my hindquarters and toss me off the kitchen table and see which end hits the floor first! How ya doin', country bumpkin?!"

"I... reckon I-I could be breathin' a might better..." Applejack winces.

"Chickadee!" A young adult rushes over, panting for breath. "Please! We've b-been through this!" He wipes his pale brow and wheezes. "What h-have I told you about runnin' off like that without me?!"

"Awwwww... but I can't help it, Snowed In!" She throws a beaming grin over her shoulder and trots merrily in place, hoodie flouncing. "It's so nice and opennnnnn out here!" A breathy guffaw, and then she starts to shiver. "N-not like that cr-cramped sweatbox you pr-pretend to call an apartment!"

"I'm so sorry for this..." The man looks at me, extending a hand. "Edwardsnowden, marketing." He pants some more and throws on a dumb smile. "As you can see, my spry friend Chickadee here is quite the handful."

"Chickadee?" Aynrandy says with a blink.

The mare winks up at us. "Or Ms. Peachbottom, if yer feelin' nasty."

"...sometimes," Aynrandy blurts.

"Just a homely ol' mare from Mustangia who never once dreamed that she'd be runnin' laps out here among the stars!" She exhales, inhales, and leans down to nuzzle Applejack. "And I'd be absolutely flummoxed to think I'd be runnin' into one of my best friends in the whole wide world of Equestria again!"

"Erm... I-I believe you've lost me, darlin'..."

"Oh, don't be silly, gal pal!" Chickadee throws a forelimb around Applejack's shoulder, snickering with her eyes happily shut. "Heeheehee-Snkkkt! Train station? Flower print luggage? Tour of the Crystal Castle?"

"Crystal... Crystal..." Applejack's eyes twitched. "Land's sakes! The Crystal Kingdom, of c-course!" Applejack nervously reaches up and pats the mare's shoulder. "You... uh... been breakin' any cross country records lately?"

"Shazam! She does remember me!" Chickadee hoists Applejack to her hooves with one firm yank. "Really now, Honest Applejack, with all them trees you been buckin', it's a shame you can't handle a friendly lil' hug!"

"A hug is one thang..." Applejack winces as she straightens her hoodie. "A bull-charge is another."

"Hah hah hahhhh!" Chickadee slaps Applejack's side, nearly tossing the mare over once again. "You kids from Ponyvegas say the darnedest thangs!"

"Ponyville, actually—"

"Snowed In!" Chickadee spins and grins up at her human friend. "You saucy bent-back mule! Why didn't ya tell me that one of the best friends to the Princess was gonna be here!"

"Uhm... b-because I didn't know?" Edwardsnowden smiles awkwardly. "But—seriously—could you keep it down a little, Chickadee?"

"Why, what in the Sam Hill do ya mean?!" Chickadee cackles as she trots in happy, happy circles. "This is just my inside voice! Hah! I use it all the time since I hate bein' inside all the time!"

"Horseapples..." Applejack rubs her ears and glances up at me. "Coulda written that fact in the sky!"

I giggle.

"I like her," Maud says. Aynrandy gives her a double-take.

"Hey Edward!" a feminine voice calls from the distance. "Who did Chickadee tackle this time?!"

He twirls and motions her closer. "It's alright! No broken bones! Anyways, we're here! This is the get-together, alright!"

"Check it out, Doc!" A blonde woman shuffles up, smiling at a tan unicorn stallion trotting at ankle-level to her. "Anybody you recognize?"

"The appropriate term is 'anypony,' Ms. Thomyorke," the stallion says, adjusting a pair of bifocals as the wind kicks at his soft brown bangs. "Though, in your case, the idiom can be forgiven to cultural as well as biological differences."

"Whoah, now who in the hay might that be?" Applejack cranes her neck. "Hah!"

"What is it?" I ask her.

"Not the doctor I was expectin'. But, fine and dandy all the same." Applejack waves her hoof. "Yoohoo! Hey Doctor Horse! Over here!"

The stallion pivots with a flounce of his white hoodie. He squints across the way, then smiles curiously. "Applejack...?"

"Heheheh!" Applejack trots over. "Well, what a coinkydink! How are y'all?"

"Doing splendidly, Applejack!" Doctor Horse bows before shaking her hoof. He clasps her forelimb and leans in with a smirk. "And your friend, Rainbow Dash? Is she keeping off the wing she injured?"

"Pffft... Are you blowin' smoke up my saddle? Doc, that was over sixteen months ago!"

"Ah, yes. Well..." He leans back, adjusting his spectacles once more. "Time flies when you're saving lives."

"Reckon it does."

"How's Apple Smith doing? Is she in need of more vitamins?"

"Heheh... Granny's doin' just fine." Applejack winks. "All thanks to you, Doc. That new hip has been helpin' her move her flank around Sweet Apple Acres like she's sixty again!"

"Well, that's good news. Good news indeed." He steps back, gawking up at the skyscrapers stretching around the park and above us. "Isn't this place absolutely splendid! Did you know that this moon was once an icy rock incapable of supporting complex life?!"

"I reckon I got the big picture at some point or 'nother."

"They spent over a century terraforming it! The Homo sapiens living here had to adjust to the extreme level of electromagnetism coming from the host planet, Jupiter!"

"Well..." Aynrandy chuckles. "I now know one pony who's relishing in this Experiment."

The blonde chuckles, smiling at him. "Yes. Just talking to him brings me back to Xenobiology 101 at University of Callisto." She squints and points. "Say... aren't you—"

"Aynrandy. Assistant Producer."

"Ahhhh! Someone with his name on the credit roll!" She offers a hand to shake. "Thomyorke. Sound editing."

"That doesn't surprise me in the least." Aynrandy takes her hand and kisses it. "With a voice full of honey like that..."

"Oh... so it's that kind of a picnic." Thomyorke rolls her eyes and giggles.

Aynrandy smirks at her, then glances at me.

I roll my eyes.

"Hey!" Rickygervais points at the stallion standing among us. "He's got a horn on his head!"

"My good lady, the name is Doctor Horse," he says with a smirk. "And as for the growth of cylindrical alicornia from my forehead, there's a perfectly logical explanation for that." He clears his throat. "You see, I am a unicorn."

"No friggin' way!" Aynrandy slaps his brow, jaw agape. "You mean it?! An honest-to-Zoram unicorn?!"

"Is it so strange?" Doctor Horse gestures with a sleeved hoof. "Humans evidently possess many races and genders. Surely ponies too can be just as varied."

"So... like..." Rickygervais squints. "Can you do magic with that?"

"I most certainly can." Doctor Horse grins. "It allows me to operate on the most critically of wounded patients with the greatest of ease, not to mention assemble complex medical equipment without breaking a sweat!"

Ricky, Ayn, and I stare at him with blank expressions.

The stallion blinks. At last, with a sigh, he summons a bright glow through his horn. "And it allows me to do things like this." Suddenly, half of Applejack's apples and a few of Maud's pebbles are floating in a tight circle above us. "Ahem... Tadaaaaaaaa..."

"Wowwwwwwww..."

"That's so spectacular!"

"How do you do that?!"

"It's actually quite easy to explain, both scientifically and practically," Doctor Horse says.

Thomyorke smirks. "Plus, it's a real help around the apartment when I need the dishes done."

"Yes... well..." Doctor Horse sighs as he places the objects back down. "It's the least I can do to repay my dear friend for her constant hospitality."

Ziiiiiiiiiiiip! Chickadee wobbles to a stop, grinning into Doctor Horse's face. "Is it true?! Are you a real doctor?!"

"Uhm..." He leans back, sweating. "Most assuredly." He squints through his bifocals. "And you are...?"

"Chickadee—though it probably shows up as 'Ms. Peachbottom from Mustangia' in the medical journals."

"Erm, I-I'm afraid my services are relegated exclusively to Ponyville—"

"You gotta tell me, Doc!" Chickadee twirls and shoves her flank in his face. "Is it a bad thang if my pelvis makes this noise?" She then stretched one leg up and down with a persistent SN-SNAP! SN-SNAP! SN-SNAP!

"Erm... n-no..." He grimaces, slowly backtrotting until he's standing safely on the other side of Thomyorke's legs like a frightened kitten. "That's something that needs looking at." He gulped. "Preferably at a chiropractor... in another universe."

"Well, darned if I dun know what's makin' that rattlin' sound, but it seems to spring my legs into action mighty quick!" Edwardsnowden facepalms and sighs as she carries on, "Why, did I tell you about the one time I outgalloped a hydra?!"

"I... d-do not believe we have had the pleasure of meeting before, much less engaging in informative discourse—"

"So this hydra was chasin' me across Mustangia's Central Gorge—right? And I says to myself, 'Chickadee, you could either die here and get a statue made out of you, or you could outrun this dag-gum thang and be like a livin' statue for the rest of yer life!' Of course, I was bein' all figurative-like, because if I was to be a livin' statue then I'd resemble one of them Cat Sketchy Frenetic patients that lie on their flanks all day gettin' bed sores inside your hospital! Heheheheh!"

"Erm... I-I believe the term is 'catatonic schizophrenic' and I find it highly inappropriate to refer to them in such a jocular—"

"So, this whole heapin' bunch of heads start snappin' at me, and I'm shreakin' my purdy little head off, and then I see this gap in a thorn bush off to the side so quick as lightning I dash to the right and—"

"Hey... pssst!" I squat down low. "Applejack!"

She backtrots from the conversation and looks at me. "Yes, sugarcube?"

"Do you... like... know everypony?" I squint suspiciously.

"Heheheheh... awwwwwwww shucks..." She fiddles with the end of her tail, blushing slightly. "Reckon I do get around a lot, bein' with the Elements of Harmony n'all..."

I smirk. "Or maybe just your name gets around."

"Nawwwww... I ain't that special! It's Princess Twilight Sparkle! She's the celebrity, not me!" She holds her breath as I scratch behind her ear.

"I didn't think it was possible for me to feel more proud of you," I say.

"Darnitall..." She hisses under her breath. "In front of Maud is fine—but dun make me blush in front of the others!"

"What's the deal with that one with the green mane, anyways?"

"Oh, her? Me and the gals got her mixed up with a mare named Miss Harshwhinny once."

"... ... ...Miss Harshwinny."

"Eeyup."

"I... I-I fail to see... like—"

"Heeheehee! Me too, darlin'. Me too."

"Uhm... h-hey!" stammers a voice from behind.

Every person and pony swivels to look.

A petite girl in her college years stands in a colorful hoodie, short skirt, and tights. She clutches the straps of a backpack clinging to her shoulders. "Hope I-I'm not too late!"

"Wow..." Aynrandy walks over. "Guess things are picking up! Hey there, Rushlimbaugh! Got lost on the way from the cute factory!"

"Pffft..." She rolls her eyes. "Nice to see you as ever, Ayn."

"Heheh... Thanks for making me feel special." Aynrandy looks at me, then at the girl. "I don't think you two have met. Rushlimbaugh?" He points my way. "This is—"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!" She leans down, planting her hands on her knees. "Look at all of the adorable little ponies!" She squeals inwardly. "This place is like heaven on earth all of the sudden!"

Maud blinks. "I was not aware that I was little."

Coco giggles. "I was."

"Well, join in on the party!" Thomyorke exclaims. "But you have to have a pony first!"

"But I got him right here!" Rushlimbaugh grins over her shoulder. "Come on out, Flash!"

An orange muzzle pokes out of her backpack, followed by the head and neck of an athletic young stallion. He tosses back a blue mane and blinks at the park's surroundings. "Whoah... are we finally here?"

"Yeah. Took me long enough." She bites her finger and blushes. "Sorrrrrry."

"Heh! Don't sweat it, Rush!" He chuckles. "Still, I probably could have carried us both here if you let let me."

"I know you would want to, Flash." Rushlimbaugh rolls her eyes with a smirk. "But don't forget you're kinda sorta tiny here."

"Pffft. Says you."

"Pffft. Says me!"

"I... I-I don't get it," Rickygervais remarks. "Who's he?"

"Only the coolest little guy to ever come out of Canterlot!" Rush unzips the backpack. "Flash, show 'em!"

"With pleasure!" Fwoooosh! In a blue-and-orange streak, he shoots up out of her backpack, does a backflip, and hovers above her with bright feathers and an even brighter smirk. His black hoodie is the only thing stopping the purple sheen off his orange coat from blinding us.

"Whoahhhhhhh!" Edwardsnowden gasps, jaw dropping. "They... th-they have wings too?!"

Doctor Horse sighs. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to take hours to explain?"

Thomyorke nudges him with a smirk. "That's half the fun, sunshine."

"Hmmm..." The aged stallion smiles calmly. "True enough..."

"How..." Aynrandy slumps down beside Maud, dumbfounded. "How is that even possible?"

Rushlimbaugh giggles. "It's simple! Flash Sentry here is a pegasus! That makes him—like—part horse and part bird!"

"And all style" Flash adds with a smirk.

"And giggles!" Rushlimbaugh smirks mischievously. "You forgot 'giggles!'" She yanks him down into her arms. "C'mere!"

"What—No! Rush!" He fights and thrashes about as her fingers run all over his tummy. "Hahaha—Rush! Haha! Quit it!"

"Does the Royal Guard surrender?! Huh?! Huh?!"

"Hahahaha—I give! I give! Jeez! 'Uncle' already!"

"Heeheehee!" She cradles the pony and rubs noses with him. "Who's my favorite soldier? Huh? Huhhhhh?"

"Mmmmmm..." He avoids her gaze, forelegs curled to his chest as his orange cheeks fight an irresistible blush. "I-I am..."

"Yupperooni!"

"So..." Edwardsnowden scratches his head in wonderment. "He can fly?"

"Naturally," Doctor Horse says, nodding. "Every pegasus pony can fly."

"But... with the hoodie and all?"

"And how!" Rushlimbaugh beams. "I've seen him do loopty-loops around the upper spire! One of my favorite things to do is chillax on the balcony with a strawberry smoothie and watch the little fella get his exercise!"

I wince. "That sounds kinda dangerous..."

"Heehee! Not with the latest safety features!"

"Could he fly right now?" Rickygervais asks.

"How about it, Flash?" Rush ruffles the stallion's mane and smiles at him. "Wanna give a demonstration?"

"Heh... sure!" He smiles bashfully. "I've put on shows for the Princesses before!"

"That's good in my book! Ready?" She hoists the petite stallion over her head. "Contact!"

"Contact!" he salutes, wings oustretched.

"Aaaaaaaaaand wooooosh!" She tosses the pony forward.

We all flinch—only to witness the stallion easily gliding over our heads. Flash Sentry loops up, twirls, glides vertically along a glossy skyscraper's surface, then dives backwards in an aerial somersault. He comes down low, spinning and fanning us all with his spread wings.

"Wowwwwwwwwww..." Rickygervais, Edwardsnowden, and Thomyorke collectively coo.

"Whew-weeeee!" Chickadee spins in a circle, hops, and perches atop Maud's bucket of pebbles. "Now this is what I call a picnic! I haven't been this electrified since I was a wee little filly!"

"He certainly is..." Coco Pommel blushes slightly. "...agile."

"The low gravity of this moon is a major factor of his current manuevers," Maud drones.

"Uhhh..." I lean down to Applejack's level once more. "Don't tell me... you know this pony too...?"

"Hmmmm..." Applejack rubs her chin, squinting at Flash Sentry's swiftly darting figure. "Reckon his face does ring a bell, but I can't quite put my hoof on it."

"Really?"

"Maybe Twilight would know. She pays attention during our trips to Canterlot more."

"I bet Hercules is out there alone somewhere, trying to call a cab."

"Huh?"

"Heh... never mind."

"Darlin', you perplex me sometimes."

"At least you're honest enough to admit it."

"Darn tootin'."

I hear a series of heavy footsteps. Applejack, Ayn and I look over while the rest of the group continues to watch Flash Sentry's high-flying stunts.

"Uh... h-hey..." A frail fellow in a button-up shirt and slacks waves at us. "Sorry I'm late."

"Church of Zoram's that way, buddy," Ayn says, snickering.

The guy's eyes fall razor straight. "Very funny. It's me, Ayne. Piersmorgan from marketing?"

"Yes, yes, we know." Aynrandy shakes his hand. "Better late than never, huh?"

"S-sure thing!"

"So, where's your pony?"

"Oh, she's right behind me." Piersmorgan gulps. "Say... uhm... not to sound weird or anything, but..."

"But what?"

"Was there—like—anything wrong with you guys' ponies?" He smiles nervously. "Like... a defect or something?"

"A defect?" I make a face.

"Piersmorgan, these are ponies," Aynrandy says with a chuckle. "Living breathing creatures, y'know? We're not talking about toys or robots or anything that can break down."

Piersmorgan blinks. His face pales slightly as he looks down to the ground. "Oh."

Ayn and I exchange glances. "Why?" I ask. "Is your pony acting strangely?"

"Well... uhm... I-I don't think 'strangely' is the word for it."

"Is she sick? Ill?"

"No. The Article's safety protocols are working properly n'all. It's just that... well..." He fumbles and fumbles with his fingers, smiling with a trembling expression. "She's really not what I expected..."

"In what way?"

"I-I mean she's mostly harmless! But I c-couldn't help but wonder if there was s-some sort of disturbance in the quantum dimensional transfer that could have caused her to act all—"

Suddenly, from the distance, a voice picked up like a sickly whale-call. "Pierced Morgan?! When the Great and Powerful Trixie demanded that you carry her, she expected it to get done! Now where have your simian legs taken you off to this time?!"

Ayn and I are instantly wincing.

Piersmorgan twirls around, cupping his hands around his mouth. "C-coming, Trixie!"

"That's the Great and Powerful Trixie, and don't you forget it!"

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shoot." Applejack gnashes her teeth."

"But of c-course, Trixie—I-I mean Great and Powerful Trixie!" Piersmorgan trembles.

"Now come back and pick me up this instant! Your insufferable space concrete is doing absolute murder to the hooves of a brilliant artist!"

"Yes, ma'am! Right away, ma'am!" Piersmorgan turns towards us, chuckling awkwardly. "She's... uh... sh-she's very dainty..."

"Yes..." Aynrandy winces as he digs into his ear. "I-I'm sure."

"Pierced Morgan?! What are you waiting for?! The Great and Powerful Trixie has summoned you!"

"I-I was just breaking into a sprint!" Piersmorgan runs towards the distant path where a blue speck in a purple hoodie waits by a park bench. "Don't y-you worry your Great and Powerful Head over it!"

"I had better not! Ungh! Look at this purple sky! Who ever heard of a purple sky?! Did the Great and Powerful Trixie land in the Smooze Dimension?!"

I wince, then glance down to see Applejack grimacing just as hard, if not harder. "Uhhhh... Lemme guess." I kneel by her and place a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. "Somepony else you know?"

"And how." Applejack gulps. "Uhm..." She looks up at me, eyes thin. "Sugarcube?"

"Yeah, AJ?"

"I think I-I'm gonna need some of that Chex Mix right about now."

"Heheh..." I start unzipping the backpack. "Sure thing."

From a distance: "C-careful! The Great and Powerful Trixie's shiny coat is super sensitive!"

Applejack hides her face deep within her hood. "Better m-make it two bags..."

Comments

[Grabnock]

Holy shit 3. Is it bad if I'm silently hopin for a fourth?

You spoil me...

[Tatsurou]

Okay, that last pony to appear was pricleless!

[RoboRed]

These names...these people's friggin names...

Oh dang...Trixie...

[Dante225]

Maud's cutie mark is now incorporated into my head cannon

[PiMan]

I thought Trixie had improved since season 3, but you portray her as every bit the egotistical showmare she started as.

[Sir Top Hat]

Bring out the applejack Daniels! We gots one heck of a party!

[Purgamentum]

I'm kinda wondering if the ponies are only tiny because of Science! and a new version of their coats will make them bigger..

Mostly because I want to see the ponies herding the humans around and teasing them.

[ManWithThePan]

"Heh..." I shrug with a smirk. "I just through it on."

I think you meant "threw."

[Moonshine-Dusk]

[EverfreeSparkle]

5023848

[TheHiddenOne]

Ricky Gervais, Edward Snowden, Rush Limbaugh, Thom York and Piers Morgan?

If I wasn't laughing my ass off, I'd ask what the hell is wrong with these people's naming customs!

[Noble Cause]

... three chapters. Three. Oh, hot DAMN, you are too frigging good to us! You've been sorely missed, man! How've you been?

And Skirts? These chapters have made my entire week awesome. Thank you so much.

Also, Trixie in a hoodie is strangely adorable. I was REALLY surprised by the doc and Chickadee, though! ... Coco and Flash in hoodies sound too cute for words, for that matter.

[Dirty Bit]

Maud's gaze remains locked on Applejack's face as she lifts the lower hem of her yellow hoodie. There's the illustration of a brightly grinning clown pony on her flank.

"... ... ..." Applejack scratches her blonde head. "Huh..."

"I feel that it reflects my personality," Maud drones.

Too funny That was a genius idea of yours

I forgot how energetic Chickadee can be Doctor Horse and Flash were the most unexpected for me.

[mexfan]

5023754 I think she is actually being portrayed worse than her first apearence. Trixie is standoffish and arrogant but Im pretty sure she is not this much of a primadona. After all this is a mare that travels through equestria in a wood wagon alone and has worked in a rock farm to earn bits.

I hope there is a reason for this. If thats not the case then lets consider her and alternate universe Trixie. I mean if there is a dimension where Pinkie is an amoral murderous psycopath then there must be a dimension where trixie is.......like this.

[Lightning Bearer]

Oh my god, you got a wonderful little assortment of ponies here. I'm particularly happy about Coco and Trixie. And I love what you've done with Flash.

Also, who in Satan's outhouse looks at their newborn daughter and says, "Let's call her Rushlimbaugh. Yes. That is a good name for our progeny."

P.S. - You may already be aware of this, and have simply disregarded it, but Maud's cutie mark was actually briefly visible in the show.

[Aatxe360]

Thank you sooooooooooooooooooo much!

These updates have been a real treat, like Applejack's Chex Mix(Holy crap, that would be an awesome product).

Now I need to go away before I lose the picture of this adorable picnic.

[Hydrawolf]

5023898
A universe where people know how to make meatloaf correctly.

[superdjd1226]

5023848 he was implying she was pregnant from being a whorse

Oh well i was personally hoping for a well known OC to be one of the ponies

like a certain Pegasus mare

[Dry Monkey]

Did we just run out of names or what?

[TheTownCrier]

I think I'm suffering from adorable overload.

[Raistlin]

Piersmorgan: "Of all ponies, I had to pick the tsundere"
Trixie: "What was that?"
Piersmorgan: "I mean...more rubs, oh Great and Powerful?"

[Talguy21]

Trixie *almost* made up for Brad. ALMOST. This story is now under very close watch.

Everything else has met my expectations of this story though, save for the choices for ponies, of them I could have only foreseen Trixie.
That is to say great! But I'm keeping an eye on Brad.

[Talguy21]

5023924

It's bucking TOM!!!

I love the team so much!

[General Spritz]

5023744
Wanna know something cool?
You can see Maud's cutie mark in the episode.

[GMD]

D'aww... you added a bunch of ponies nobody knows!

[pahnazd]

Well, there's your party pooper in the form of Trixie. Unless they pull off a massive prank on her

[Anatinus]

...Dang. And here I was hoping that the last pony was Bulk Biceps... the big lug would have scared the pootis out of the humans present.

[Arcshod]

Lyra was there too. Nobody noticed.

[Applejinx]

I think my headcanon about the names is, it's so far in the future that they don't carry the least bit of contextual meaning anymore. It'd be like getting worked up over the name Robert, or Charles. Note how they're all run together? They're a bit long, but might not even be stressed the same way as their sources. For instance, Aynrandy might have the stress on the first syllable only.

[Scarheart]

Trixie...someone would figure a showpony who hauls her own wagon from town to town would know a little bit about standing on her own two hooves.

[Aurora Dimmet]

5024608

Dig the swell hoodie.

[Aurora Dimmet]

Godsdamnit Brad, go home and stare vacantly at pictures of Twilight.

Still, this is shaping up to be a helluva lot of fun.

[PropMaster]

I'm actually loving the fact that Flash is being included. Awesome set of chapters, and we know that our protagonist is definitely male, if there was doubts about that still.

[Leftover of Saikano]

Not what I expected when I saw my favorites updated, but I love this. I need to do some fanart now.

[PiercingSight]

You live! I gotta read these chapters now... preparing for HNNG!

[Snowstreak]

...Flash Sentry...

We're doomed.

Suddenly, from the distance, a voice picked up like a sickly whale-call. "Pierced Morgan?!..."

Waitaminute.

"...When the Great and Powerful Trixie..."

Yup. Now we're doomed.

[exsnaggerwes]

Pierced Morgan?! When the Great and Powerful Trixie demanded that you carry her, she expected it to get done! Now where have your simian legs taken you off to this time?

Best Pony has arrived.

[PiercingSight]

"I just through it on."

lolwut. Read that again.

>sewing poni
>crazy poni
>magic poni
>pegi poni
>bratty poni
Well, now it's a party.

[Jphyper]

I noticed two spelling errors. Well, they're more like word usage errors.

"As I live and breath! How're you doin'?"

breathe

"I just through it on."

threw

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

5023878 I'm waiting for Douglas Adams and David Tennant.

[MTDragonslayer7]

I pin my head to see a figure waving dramatically to us from underneath a spreading polycarbon tree.

I believe you mean spin.

I've seen him do loopt-loops around the upper spire!

"loop-de-loops"

[Phxntxm]

loopt-loops. The fuck are loopt-loops?
5023754
Also this. I'm curious how you're going to portray her further, but I don't like what I see so far. Also why did this comment get a thumbs down?

[Leoshi]

Adorable.

[Bronze Statue]

"Come on out, Flash!"

nooo....

Flash Sentry here

nonono....

Maybe Twilight would know.

GODDAMMIT, NAPPA!!!

And then Trixie shows up, apparently after taking Shouting(tm) lessons from Mr. Torgue, Princess Luna, and the Demoman from TF2.

[Jet Cannon]

Ah, someone else comes up with the idea of Coco potentially liking Flash! I knew I wasn't crazy! Now I just need to write it...

[BradtheBrony]

5024304 5024708 *Looks around the story* I don't know what pot you two are smokin', but mind if I get a nickel-bag off y'all if you're seeing ME somewhere in the story?

[Wacky]

5023744 Yours and mine both!

5023975 I was hoping for Derpy too, but still glad with the cast we all got.

5025512 Don't be knocking Flash down. There's nothing wrong with his character or concept. It's mostly just a bad reaction from some fans who wanted Twilight to remain single...though I am now left wondering how he managed to convince her to be let on the test team for the hoddies?....

[Talguy21]

5025615
Not you... The *other* Brad.

[Moonshine-Dusk]

5023933 It is not worth the consequences!

[GMD]

5026003 Unless you're a heartless anti-brony.