Tales
As I'm carrying the tray back to our table in the middle of the cafeteria, I can already hear her drawling voice. There's a tinge of pride to be heard in it, and it makes me smile. That's when I hear chuckling voices—many, many chuckling voices. I look to see that a crowd has formed around the table. My heart stops beating for a moment. Is it concern? Something else? I don't know what to think. I just listen, walking close enough so that I can finally see her over the necks and shoulders of so many smiling-faced co-workers.
"And so I grabbed my gal pal Pinkie by the tail and hoisted the two of us over to the far side of the canyon! Mind you, this involved hoppin' from craggy platform to platform! And with a roarin' and bellowin' hydra hot on our keisters!"
Several people coo and murmur in awe. I spot a thirty-five year old secretary leaning over the table with her chin propped up on her knuckles like a first grader. I want to giggle.
"But Twilight was still on the other side!" Applejack says in a low, breathy voice. She's standing between half-empty trays on the table-top, trotting in tiny little circles with a flounce of her blue hood. She gazes wide-eyed at every listening face as she continues, "And the hydra was thirstin' for pony meat! All of the sudden, one of its heads smashed into the canyon and knocked over most of the platforms! There was now a forty foot gap between the cliff where she stood and the nearest stone that could help her cross the canyon! The poor mare couldn't hop that distance, even if she was as athletic as I was! And it's not like Twilight had wings to help her cross! Well... not yet at least!"
Chuckles.
Giggles.
"What'd she do?" a man asks.
"Well..." Applejack crouches low as if she's about to pounce on the meatiest part of this story. Her eyes are mischievous green slits. "Pinkie Pie told her to go on n'jump anyways; take a leap of faith n'all. Now, this sort of thang never came naturally to Twilight, she bein' a practical pony n'such. I dun rightly blame her. I wouldn't have had enough faith to do it myself. But it's not like Twilight had much in the way of choices, now did she?"
"Did... did she jump?" a woman breathlessly remarks.
"Sure did!" Applejack smirks, then licks her lips before charading the act with her petite orange figure across the table. "She stepped back, got a gallopin' start, and threw herself forward for all she was worth... and done missed the platform she was aimin' for by a hair."
The crowd around the table gasps.
"But t'ain't the end of it! Nosiree!" Applejack squeaks. "Before any of us can even try n'scream, Twilight fell on a burstin' bubble of the bog below that threw her straight up—just like a thrown horseshoe—and in a calamitously tumblin' fashion—" She hops three times, causing the trays and cups across the table to rattle. "Whop! Wham! Bap!" One final leap, she she knocks a few pieces of plastic silverware to the cafeteria floor with a grin. "She landed on the other side right next to us! Safe as the day she was foaled! Heh!"
Everyone around us claps and cheers. There are relieved grins everywhere I look.
"What a fantastic little tale."
"I'm so glad she made it!"
"Sounds like that leap of faith worked out for her!"
"Heheheheh... or just pure dumb luck..." Applejack tilts forward the brim of a hat that isn't there, and catches herself doing it. Clearing her throat to avoid blushing, she stands proud and tall. "However y'all wish to look at it, Twilight's certainly grateful to still be around. And, if nothin' else, it sure did clear a lot of cobwebs between her and Pinkie Pie. I dun think I ever did see them mares bond well until after that shindig. Funny how frightenin' things tend to bring out the best in friends, ya reckon?"
More chuckles and applause.
I clear my throat with a smile.
Applejack glances my way, and her smile brightens. "Say, maybe I can come back by here another time and tell y'all another marvelous tale! Like the one where my friends and I single-hoofedly fought off a buncha nasty changelings! Or the one afternoon that my best pegasus friend tried to immortalize me in front of a camera! Heh heh heh... boy did I get her good a week later with a bathtub of whipped cream."
Slowly, reluctantly, the crowd dissipates. I see a few of the cafeteria patrons smiling/winking at me as we pass each other by.
"Glad you brought her by the office for once," a man says.
"She's so adorable," a woman states. "Glad you won that raffle."
"Oh... y-yeah..." I reply awkwardly. "Me too..." I shuffle over and sit on the bench before Applejack, laying my table down.
"Heh... did I ever tell ya about that one, sugarcube?"
"Hmm? Tell me which one?"
"Rainbow Dash and the bathtub prank." She giggles, lungs still heaving from having given the dramatic tale. "Whew-wee! That girl learned to never again sleep on the branch of a tree within buckin' distance of me. Heheheh..."
"Heh..." I smile while digging a fork into alfredo. "Guess the mare got what was coming to her."
"It took her a week to get the stuff out of her mane! Heh heh heh heh!"
"Somehow, from what I know about Rainbow Dash, that's not something that would bother her."
"Heh... reckon yer right. She ain't no Rarity. Not yet, at least."
I raise an eyebrow. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Either she ignores me or she's too excited to register the question. "I see you finally got yerself some vittles." She squats low on the table, her blonde tail flicking left and right as she sniffs her muzzle up close to the tray. "Whatcha eatin'?"
"Mmmf... Uh uh uh..." I nudge her nose back gently with the blunt end of my fork. I swallow and say, "The rules, remember?"
She rubs her fuzzy orange muzzle and squints at me. "Ya reckon I've got the memory of a goldfish? I'm not about to do anythang that could hurt myself."
"Besides, it's nothing you'd like."
"If y'all insist." Applejack blinks, then winces slightly. "Was..." She inches slowly away from my plate, her hooves daintily raised away from it. "...was it once alive?"
I try not to choke from giggling with a mouthful. I swallow the bite down with a glass of fruit punch and smile her way. "Please, Applejack. I think you should know by now that I wouldn't eat anything like that in front of you."
"R-right..."
"Now the table two spaces down..." I point from afar. "...they're enjoying some lasagna which is chock full of—"
"Uh uh uh uh uh!" Applejack waves a hoof at me, tilts away, and hoists the hood over her head. "Dun even try to humor me!"
"Whoah—careful." I point at her hooves against her hood. "If you pull any tighter, you'll—"
"Send myself back. I know."
"I mean, if you're hungry and you want a bite of apple, then be my guest," I say. "Or—heh—if you're nauseous and need an outhouse to hurl—"
"Pffft! You kiddin'?" Applejack lowers the hood and smirks at me. "I dun just got here, darlin'. Why'd I leave so soon?"
"Just saying..." I shrug. "You're not a prisoner, y'know."
"Right... right..." She hops down onto the bench beside me, turns around three times, and plops down on curled legs. "Forgive me if I seem a little... oh, I dunno..."
"Excited?"
"I'm just glad ya decided to show me where ya work after all!" She gazes over her shoulder, smiling at various passer-by's. One or two co-workers wave, and she happily waves her hoof back. "You've got so many friendly ponies—I mean people here."
I nod while taking another bite. "Mmmf... they're nice to work with."
"Ever gone partying with them?"
I smirk. "We don't exactly have hoedowns here on Ganymede."
"Yeah, but y'all got ways of havin' fun, don'tcha?"
"Mmmm..." I wave my fork around. "Yes and no."
She squints at me. "Why do I ge the feelin' yer usually in the 'no' department."
"So, what if I enjoy a little bit of space and solitude compared to the next person?"
She snickers... then outright giggles, covering her muzzle with a hoof.
I glare at her. "What?"
"Nothin'. Yer just somethin' else, ya know that?"
"Hmph..." I dig through the alfredo some more. "So..."
"Hmmm?"
"...Equestria's a lot more dangerous than I imagined."
"Huh?" Her bright green eyes blink. "Oh..." She gazes down, smiling bashfully as she fidgets with the ends of her hoodie's sleeves. "Well, shucks, we get into a tussle with creepy bad guys from time to time, but we always seem to end out on top..."
"Just like Twilight Sparkle did?"
"T'ain't always luck, mind you," Applejack says. "Lot of it comes down to teamwork, friendship, and the Elements of Harmony."
"I guess I just never thought... well..." I sigh a bit. "Never mind."
"No, tell me!" Applejack gazes up at me, her freckled face awash in concern. "Y'all know that I'm the first and last pony you can be honest with!"
"It's no big deal. Just me."
"Darlin'..." Applejack stands up straight, her jaw tight. "You best be 'fessin' up before I start bucking chairs over."
I blink at her. "You wouldn't?"
She continues glaring at me.
"Zoram on fire, you would."
"In a heartbeat." Her nostrils flare as she smirks. "So out with it, partner."
I sigh. "I guess I just... mmm... always thought Equestria was nothing but sunshine and rainbows."
"Well, we never had ourselves any of yer fancy nuclear wars or famines or poverty issues, but it's hardly the safest place to go out for a stroll, from time to time."
"'Cuz of hydras?"
"And changelings and diamond dogs and parasprites and roadside brotherly charletans..." Applejack rolls her eyes. "Whew! Flim and Flam. Dun ya even get me started on them hooligans."
"Heh..." I dig through my food without meaning to. "Guess I just never... th-thought I'd have a reason to worry about you whenever... y'know... you go back to your world."
"Awwwwww... dun sweat it, darlin'."
"Shouldn't I?"
"Now listen here." She leans in, stroking her cheek against my elbow. I feel the precious warmth of her heartbeat through the gesture. "I may be a petite lil' pony gal here and now, but back in Ponyville? Back in the place I call home?" She gazes up at me with a calm smile. "I'm a regular iron pony, ya hear? I can hold my own against the worst Equestria has to throw at me. Ya got no reason to worry about me. No more than I have to worry about you."
"Me?"
"Heheheh... dun sell yerself short, darlin'." She pats my side with a tiny hoof. "You have a way of grabbin' this world by the horns, even if you don't realize it."
"Heh... or by the net-gloves."
"Right. Them too."
"Thanks, AJ." I reach down and scratch her behind the left ear. "I don't remember asking you to give me a motivational speech, but you somehow always deliver."
"Ooooooh..." Her eyes roll back as she leans into the head scratch. "If I-I'd have known I woulda been gettin' an ear rub as reward, I woulda plum called you the Monarch of Saturn."
I giggle and say, "Jupiter."
"Whatever." She fwomps against me, legs curled up as she gladly accepts the ear-scratch. I almost swear she's purring. "Mmmmm... I think I love cafeterias..."
"Heeheehee.... I think you do too."
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Cute little bit; wonder when the new line of temporal-dimensional-hoodies comes out and who'll get to visit the human world as well?
Too adorable...as usual.
ouo
tussle
Saturn has no monarch, as it was overthrown by a scientist rebellion thirty years ago that placed a computer in charge. We haven't heard much from the Saturn colonies since, but I hear they've made great strides in cloning technology and have taken to using color coded uniforms to indicate authority across the spectrum.
God damn this is adorable and a hilarious play on medium SF. I wish I had more thumbs to give you.
4466699 Did anyone else just imagine a certain mint-colored unicorn with a Lyre cutie mark tearing around looking for a hoodie?
So so cute
4466835 I'm not entirely sure why but your avatar had me suddenly picturing rarity as a mudkip
I never did like Aj for her pride and stubbornness, but this is a really sweet and cute side of her. I love this little thing you are making here.
Oh my god this is so adorable I'm going to die.
This continues to be almost unfairly cute. Eagerly looking forward to more.
4466835
What's the name of that one place they built, again? Gamma District?
The image of a tiny, hoodie'd Applejack, waddling around on a table while telling stories to a crowd of humans hanging on her every word is probably the cutest image I've had flit through my mind in quite some time. Every time this story updates, it's like a dose of endorphins right to the brain.
And I'm curious to see who the next pony will be (you know it's coming, for better or worse). Rainbow Dash or Lyra almost seem too obvious. Besides, I don't think I'm prepared to have Lyra in a hoodie again. Still too soon.
4467112 Lyra in a h-h-h-h-h-h...... hhnnngh!
4466849 Hee, I've been thinking about that since Chapter 1!!!
For whatever reason, I feel like the next hoodie pone is gonna be Rainbow.
Also, 'fancy nuclear wars'
I think you mean "a" here.
With that outta the way, by the Night Angels was that cute. I d'awed all over myself.
4466849
Assumption number one when dealing with a story involving humans and ponies? Lyra should never be obsessed with humans. Takes a little something away from the fic if she is.
Well isn't this a wonderful surprise to wake up to! Great chapter! hehe, loved how Applejack told the story about the PInkie Sense it was very in character and believable, and just DOWN RIgHT ADORABLE!!!
Dawwwwwwwww she's teh cwuuuuuutesht evurrrr!!!
Ill bet anyone 10$ that explanation came from the author reading comments....
Thats what us readers are here for
That could've gone differently.
awwwwwww... nice to see AJ making more friends :3
4467112 I still haven't finished that other story with Lyra in a hoodie...
The Sprawl and Jupiter. Yeeeaaahhh....I'm hoping that A certain spacey engineer doesn't exist in that universe.
4466993
can I have your computer?
After a day of surprises and disappointments, this made me smile broadly.
4468601
No, like the great pharaohs who were my ancestors I am going to have my computer mummified and laid to rest with me.
4468983
I'd laugh my butt off if someone did that in real life.
4468983
...
excuse me while i go rewrite my will...
AMD!*
*All My D'awes!
4470439 cdn.dice.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/amd_logo.png
amd swag
4470587
Hey, isn't that the logo for Advanced Magical Devices? They are big on Personal Casting (PC) platforms. Here's an extract from my story This Quiet Earth, where Princess Twilight and Starswirl the Bearded are discussion magical technology:
4470800 LOL
4467919 that it has, that it has...
This is so fun to read! Makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
You're missing a 't' by the way.
4465136 derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/31/641138__fluttershy_questionable_brony_downvotes+galore_artist-colon-ponyboogers_danny+devito.png
4482888
Is that supposed to be Danny DeVito?
Edit: Learned how to read. Never mind.
Ha! Maggiethatcher! Priceless!
Rainbow Dash, have you been visiting G3 again?
Hypocrite...
4818353 How is that being a hypocrite?
5800385 Because she asked if her food was once alive, yet she eats veggies and fruit, and those were once alive. It's just hypocritical for her to ask if it was once alive, when all the food she eats was once alive anyways. She should have asked if it was once conscious.
5800429
I'm pretty sure you knew what the author meant.
Heheheh, another great chapter well done, nice job! :D
Hold on.
If ponies are the size of a cat...
How large is Princess Celestia? Or Chrysalis, for that matter? They'd be so smol.
this chapter feels... very cursed
are ponies some kind of cognitohazard? because humans are not this simple