A Wanderer’s Dream

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In every wanderer's life there is that day. That day when they get sick of always moving, sick of their friendships withering away, sick of not having a place they can call home. In the life of Cheese Sandwich, this day has come.

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2014. 03. 23. This is 100% Approved by Twilight's Library

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 16 )

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markul

markul #1 · Mar 16th, 2014 · · ·

No speaking but still self describing
awesome.
i m sure this story can get interesting, you should write more on it

Servant Phoenix

Servant Phoenix #2 · Mar 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4092325 I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

I'm not planning to continue, because my two goals were met with this story:
-Giving a character a choice between freedom and love
-Practice narration

Not to mention that the possible sequel of this story would be a CheesePie shipping, and we already have loads of those.

Bluegrass Brooke

Bluegrass Brooke #3 · Mar 16th, 2014 · · ·

Amazing job with this! Your style was so enjoyable and easy to flow along with. You managed to capture deep subject matter in such a simple story. I love stories dealing with Pinkie and Cheese. This deserves many more views. A wonderful read.

Alto Spark

Alto Spark #4 · Mar 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

That was awesome! I loved how the animals made him remember his, uh... acquaintances! And you added a nice amount of depth to his character in so little words.

I think you should write more stories about Cheese Sandwich, but I think everyone should write more stories about ~~best pony~~ him, so what do I know?

Servant Phoenix

Servant Phoenix #5 · Mar 16th, 2014 · 2 · ·

4092534
4092545

Wow, thank you . I'm honestly surprised as this was a completely new way of writing for me and I didn't know how people will respond to it. I'm glad you both enjoyed it.

And yes, Cheese Pie is best pair ever. I was planning to write a shipping story about Pinkie Pie and an OC, but then Pinkie Pride came, and Cheese Sandwich is so perfect for our beloved pink mare that I can't find anypony to be able to even challenge him for her heart. (Maybe Discord... maybe.)

Yildun

Yildun #6 · Mar 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Hrmmm. I like this a lot. You explored some very important concerns for Cheese. I liked the use of his environment to examine his thoughts, though the connections to the ponies (beyond Pinkie) were a little tenuous (and I don't think he could see Ponyville from where he was. Maybe just in his mind. Also, I think by now the ponies of Manehattan do know him, but that's a quibble.) Overall though, this was very nice. Short and sweet.

4092366
You could still write a CheesePie fic though. Just because other people have written one doesn't mean that you can't.

Nashuuna

Nashuuna #7 · Mar 16th, 2014 · · ·

I must say that it was one of the greatest stories I've read recently. It was not only cute but very well written. I liked that Cheese's thoughts here were very deep and mature. Also I'm a big CheesePie fan so a little hint for this pairing at the end of the story filled my heart with joy. I hope that you'll write more about them. Anyway keep up the good work! And by the way, greetings from Poland!

scoots2

scoots2 #8 · Mar 16th, 2014 · 3 · ·

Niiiiiiice.

And I don't say that lightly at all. This was NICE.

Weirdly enough, the one thing I found distracting was all the flower names. I mean, yes, there they are, and it's great for the reader that you're being specific, but since it's narrated POV Cheese, I wasn't sure the names would make an impression on him.

At least you're giving him a choice, right?

4092366 "Not to mention that the possible sequel of this story would be a CheesePie shipping, and we already have loads of those."

Hasn't stopped anyone from writing AppleDash, or TwiDash, or FlutterDash, or. . . .

The main thing is that this is the moment where writers have to start getting different and inventive, not that they couldn't before. What we mostly have is "Pinkie and Cheese throw a party, they fall in love," not that this is bad. I'm not saying you have to do a sequel, but there's *plenty* to do with a sequel. He moves to Ponyville and does . . . . what, exactly? There's a whole lot between deciding that maybe he'll try going back to Ponyville and having a matched set of raspberry chocolate foals. Especially since this is Pinkie Pie we're talking about. So, yes--don't feel pressured to do a sequel, but don't feel discouraged because there's a bunch of CheesePie. I'm GLAD there's lots of CheesePie.

(My two bits. And congrats.)

SirTruffles