A goofy little miss that's here to write and draw to her heart's content. Her imagination doesn't know when to shut off.
Sad4,351 stories ·2,622 members
The Writers' Group56,386 stories ·9,291 members
One-Shots18,905 stories ·2,369 members
Slice of Life8,152 stories ·1,460 members
Short Stories5,069 stories ·547 members
This story is a sequel to Midnight Snack
He had wanted to show the other colts how cool his big brother was.
He had wanted them to believe him when he said that his brother was amazing.
He had wanted his words not to be so empty.
But to said brother, they already were. Especially after one screw up that worsens their relationship. As stallions, they can only be angry toward each other now.
A very cheesy followup to a cheesy story. Takes place a few years after the first one.
Page generated in 0.118 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
1,486,519 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
They killed a perfectly good accordion? Imma go murder them?
Plot for sequel!!
Tomato tries taking revenge on his brother by causing a rife between Pinkie and Cheese using his manipulation skills. It works wonderfully, too wonderfully. It does not end well.
I read this almost the minute it came out. I could see what was going to happen, of course, but I still gasped audibly when I got to that part. It's just SO AWFUL. Breaking a musical instrument is -- it's on a whole different scale of bad.
"I should leave a comment right away."
"I'll have to re-read it first. Then I will be sad."
So that's why the delay. The interesting thing is that it sort of puts Cheese in the wrong. At the same time, what does he have left to stay for?
One interesting touch is that Tomato has the same hair as his brother, evidently, and they both bristle it when they get mad, but it's really sad that Tomato has slicked his down. It's as though he's damped down his personality, too.
This was especially interesting:
The Before and After is so extreme that I'm sure that to anypony who knew Cheese Before, the After seems incredible. For some reason, the niceness and charm are very believable, because they were always there underneath (at least, I've always thought so.) The cheerfulness and grins, though--for a second, I wondered if Tommy wasn't right, or at least partially right. Do you think Cheese is actually mostly happy now? I certainly hope so!
For that, and other reasons, I hope someday you'll give us some canon Cheese. I know you have some interesting ideas about him. But I hesitate to ask for it, because I like your current fic so much!
And yes, you have to show us Tomato.
4408980 A writer once tried that, and the results were awful beyond belief. I'm sure it could be done much better, but it would probably be tricky to pull off, especially without falling into all the classic love triangle cliches. On the other hand, Sketcha-Holic does not do cliche, so it probably would be totally different.
I'm still sad. Man. An accordion is so expensive and difficult to fix. I don't even know if you could fix one that's been subjected to that much abuse.
Yea, i know abt that one. You guys were talking about it the other day.
I'm not talking about a petty love triangle, i'm talking about Tomato recognizing that Pinkie holds a special place in Cheese's heart, and purposely sets out to ruin their friendship for the soul purpose of breaking his brother.
I can see him regret doing so after realizing the devastating effect it had on Cheese, but the consequences wouldn't be easy to fix...
4415320
Nah, Tommy's not that petty. The two dislike each other, but not to the point where one has to ruin the other.
I think the situation would be more along the lines of Pinkie urging them to rekindle the bond they had as little colts, and both just refusing to cooperate.
4415446 Yeah, I like that. Pinkie, with her close relationship with her sister, might find it very hard to understand or accept.
Excellent overall! I'm sure that one incident wasn't the only bit of contention, but it makes sense that it might be the worst and most distinctive. From the sound of it, Cheese took his sweet time going back home, if he returned at all, so I think it makes sense if there is so much left unsaid. Not to mention, long after something has happened, it feels like it's too late to bring it up and do much about it. Sometimes being in the past makes a situation worse, especially if no one has let go of it.
4409201
I think that's more of Tommy's bitterness shining through. He looked up to Cheese originally, so he may be revising his prior opinion or intentionally ignoring what he knew before.
Aww, I was hoping for the drama...
I did say he will regret his actions later. The breaking will be a 'spur in the moment', 'I don't know what went wrong', later 'What have I done?!' moment where he was seeing red after a heated argument over years of just being so cold to one another. With Pinkie temporarily out of the picture it will give the brothers a chance to patch up their relationship themselves.
Unless you can realistically think of something interesting Pinkie might do to solve the situation rather than unintentionally unhelpfully impose her ideologies upon them? I mean, she will maybe spur the incentive for them to make up somehow with her Pinkie Charm, but this is a problem they would have to solve themselves.
Either way, I love good drama in a romance or family story
So... Can there be a compromise?
4419624
Family is very important to Pinkie. I think all she has to do is talk to Cheese when they're alone together, get him to open up about his feelings, and try to inspire him to make up with Tommy because she realizes that's what Cheese genuinely wants and doesn't have the courage or the forgiveness to do. It's not an unhelpful imposition, unless Cheese is in denial, but I think from the way these are presented, that both brothers would actually prefer to be friends. They simply can't see eye to eye, because they've been carrying that hurt around with them for such a long time.
If anything, I think Pinkie would create more realistic drama by visiting Tommy later and trying to appeal to him as well, as a sort of surprise for Cheese, which unintentionally upsets them both. Maybe Cheese wanted to do this on his own and now his brother is feeling more obstinate because Tommy thinks Cheese sent his girlfriend to patch things up, instead of doing that in person. Then Tommy might think that, after that incident, Cheese is only offering lip service for his meddling girlfriend's sake. That sort of thing is much more interesting to me, but then maybe I'm just weird.
Anyways, sorry I was imposing guys, I'm a bit of a melodramatic person though I try not to be. Heh...
4408980 yes if only said couple didn't posses some type of early detection system that warns them about such things
... oh wait!
Gosh darn it. I was so distracted by trying to write my stories that I forgot about catching up with yours. Boy am I regretting waiting so long. Let me just say, your whole series of stories with Cheese and Tomato is just awesome!
I've really enjoyed reading through each one.
Your ability to write believable OC's always amazes me.
Not only do you come up with a great backstory for Cheese, but you add a brother into the mix while still feeling completely realistic. Not an easy task, let me tell you. You've got me hooked on your characters and their backstories, especially Tomato. I can't wait to read more with your other stories!
Just an muscial instrustment!? JUST AN MUSICAL INsTRTUMANT!
TOMMY DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FLIPPING IMPORTANT A MUSICAL INTRUSTMENT IS TO A MUSICIAN!? its like their child for gods sake! I am sorry but i dont blame cheese one bit for not forgiving him that is the most insenstive cold hearted thing to do when you mess with a musican's equiment you apologize no excuse no oh but its just a object blah blah. I i feel so bad for cheesy 
My friend went through the same thing when someone touched her accordion she beat the living daylights out of them the guy was trying to pour beer on it for some reason and you should have seen her face she was like 
4407653
Can i join you? I can call my friend she could give a good ass kicking she's an accordionist herself and if you touch it you're dead XD
4419624
Pinkie isnt a zealot she woudlnt force her ideologies on others that's mean she isnt mean. oblivious as hell though but not mean. I have five siblings and we are all on pretty good terms so maybe i am missing something here,...
5186692 Yes, please, tell me all about your moral superiority by advocating that Cheese not forgive his brother, suggesting murder on somepony that didn't do a crime worthy of that, and bragging all about your violent friend.
But in all honesty, it's not the breaking of the accordion that Cheese is angry about in adulthood (after all, he got a new one). He's still carrying the weight of his shyness, his resentment of mom's overbearing nagging, the merciless bullying he received, and the jealousy he had over the attention that Tomato received for his good grades and his sociability. He's just hiding it deep under his smile and love of his career.
Tommy's completely oblivious about this resentment--he's under the impression that he was just annoying, clumsy, and unworthy of being forgiven. It's part of his motivation of trying to grow up so fast.
Ten years would be too long to hold a grudge about a musical instrument, even if you did value it.
If I ended up breaking my sister's violin, she would be pretty ticked. If she still was holding a grudge against me for that after ten years, I'd be pretty ticked that she didn't let it go. Because really, what's more important, a musical instrument, or your sibling?
And lastly, it isn't that Tomato's not willing to apologize, it's that he didn't have his chance before Cheese ran away, and now he believes it's too late to do it now that they're both adults. Plus, he's afraid that Cheese won't believe he's sincere.
So, while I don't blame Cheese for running off, I also don't blame Tomato for being so bitter. Breaking a musical instrument stinks for both parties, but it's not a crime worth killing someone over.
5189213
So you know you arent entitled for forgiveness you earn it if someoen broke your prize possassion i like to see you continue to preach about how you would forgive and how anyone who gets mad at their friend or sibling over it is a horrible person. People have a right to be upset and people have a right to not forgive.
Don't talk like that about my friend please you don't know her you don't know what she went through and I have moral superiority? Who do you think you are judging me or my friend If you were a musician you would understand me and my friend's rage. But whatever i am wrong I guess yeah I was saying I understood how cheese felt and you just jump on me like I just flamed you I could easly say you are acting morally superior but I won't. Like I said since you don't play an instrument you wouldn't get the heartbreak of seeing your accordion break so to you it would be silly to hold a grudge or react badly but to them they have every right to after all people have a right to not forgive you ever. If I offended you sorry I just think because I can empathize with a character it must mean I think i am better then everyone is a huge thing to jump to I never mean to come off as arrogant or holier then thou. Besides we don't know the whole story maybe the guy was pestering my friend for months and this was the last straw. It better to get the whole side of the story before jumping to the conclusion that she is violent. So go on keep making me feel bad over a reaction that I felt was right. Oh I think i know what you meant by when I said I wanted to kill him. I was joking along with that first post about killing him for the accordion i wouldn't really do that no one would not even my so called violent friend.
5189845 Word of advice, avoid a wall of text and present your argument clearer. What I got was a little muddled and confusing.
Not to mention those uses of Flutterrage seriously put me off (as was that reply to OtakuBrony534--that made me think you were conspiring murder).
You didn't exactly paint the best picture of your friend, either. I was honestly really concerned about that behavior--I mean, sheesh, I get mad when somebody messes with my drawings, but violence is taking it way too far. Last I checked, violence doesn't really put anybody in a positive light in real life...
Though, what kind of jerk would want to intentionally pour something on an instrument? That's just stupid.
Next time, please don't give me anything you don't know the whole story about--I'd end up getting even less of the story than you have, and well, we'd have this mess.
Speaking of the whole story, this is not the only story painting a picture of the Sandwiches' childhood. Did you read any of the others? If you haven't, it should paint a better picture of this situation.
I'm sorry if I misconstrued your argument, and that first line of mine... I was being sarcastic, I wasn't suggesting that one of us was better than the other. Admittedly, it was a poor choice of words. Never try sarcasm on the Internet.
Darn it, coming off as arrogant, this is why I don't reply to comments all that often...
5190449
*sighs* it's fine really. I admit I came off a bit passionately I sometimes speak with my emotions. Sorry I just got so carried a way I wasnt thinking things through. Don't worry she just yelled at him and told him he needed to pay for it if it didn't work anymore. Violence will not solve anything in fact it makes the problem worse.
Yeah I was only messing around and I think they were too with how the comment was worded. Btw sarcasm is hard to detect on text that's i am careful with my sarcasm I dont want to accidently come off rude. So again I am sorry I had no idea it was sarcasm please dont be mad at me! oh god I feel foolish now.
I am reading Brooke's fanfic and Scoots I need to read others since there are more headcanons out there.
5190608 Yep, best to cool down and think these things through before you comment. It's perfectly okay to empathize with Cheese--just don't assume that Tommy's not feeling guilty about it, even if he is angry in the latter scene. Besides, I wrote this back in May... I was still tweaking Tomato's character back then...
Hey, make the jerk pay for it--that I can get behind.
Besides, I'd be pretty miffed if someone threatened my sister's violin like that. Don't need to say the same for my sister...
And yes, I'm an idiot for trying to pull off sarcasm in this discussion.
Oh, good, those authors are great!
Everybody (well, all those who write Cheese Sandwich fanfiction) does have their take on their expansion on why Cheese ran away. I'm just one of the few who weaved a brother into his backstory. 
5190695
Of course he's feeling guilty he honestly loves his brother in a way Cheese and Tomato's relationship reminds me of me and my younger brother we were close as any sibling could be but as we got older we sadly drifted apart because we no longer had things in common :( It broke my heart seeing this happen to them as well it was painful but that was the whole point to make it heartwrenching. I understand that this story was made when your OC was still being created so to speak btw he's a good OC and good OCs are hard to come by these days.
Agreed.
No you're not an idiot you're awesome it was my fault anyway if anyone needs to get some sense knocked into them its me. You are so awesome really and I would love to continue to follow your work.
People sometimes have no respect for personal property so yeah also the violin is a cool instrument it sounds pretty.
They really are aren't they?
Even though most people havent give him a sibling I am glad you did in way it makes it more fun to write family drama and to just make an OC with a purpose other then the OC. Tommy actually has a personalty and yeah I like the blog its fun to follow. I really think with giving him a brother it further shuts up the people who say Cheese is just weird al as a pony since weird al himself is an only child and cheese isn't so that means their theory is silly. Seriously you don't see people saying pinkie is the Andrea pony I don't think you're suppose to associate the character with their actor.
5191445 Siblings--you love them and you hate them. But the cool thing about them is that they end up becoming your best friend once you're adults. I see it with my mom and her siblings, and my dad and his siblings. Of course, when siblings are estranged like these two are, it makes me sad. Especially when it roots from favoritism and poor communication.
Still, I thought it was fun to play with the idea, since most Cheese Sandwich siblings I've seen were either irredeemably unsympathetic jerks, flat characters, in total awe of their awesome brother (not that I blame them, but siblings are pretty darn critical), or my least favorite... Maud clones.
Of course, creating a relative for a canon character is often treading dangerous ground. Thankfully, Cheese is a side character, so he's fair game... unless some militant Weird Al fans decide to police me, scolding me on not getting Weird Al's background right.
I'd like a degree of separation between character and voice actor, thank you very much.
But anyway, I've had practice in creating OCs. Been doing it since I was just a little girl. Not to mention I've always loved watching shows with well-done and believable characters.
But I definitely agree that an OC should have a purpose--at least not one that's "save Equestria and get it on with (insert one or more Mane Six member or Princess here)" and "angst angst angst family killed by changelings angst angst violence angst angst" or "angst angst i'm a poor human with a crappy life i wanna go to equestria angst angst angst..."
Ugh. I'll just stick with my grumpy and conflicted little ketchup squirt. He manages to be more interesting than Mr. Whiny Angst above. Hmm... that would make a hilarious parody character...
And yes, the violin's pretty.
My sister gets better and better with each day, especially when Mom plays the piano along with her.
5192209
Exactly I could not agree more with that. Favortism is and should be frowned upon I really hate it when parents play favorites with their kids it is very cruel to make one child feel unloved while the other gets more love. You dont earn love for heavens sake its unconditional. I still hope things are still cool between us I honestly feel bad.
Oh god no those are as bad as the dreaded mary sue! I admit I was jealous of pinkie and maud's relationship I wish me and my siblings got along with each other that well we are closer now then were as kids dont get me wrong we look out for each other even if we live in different cities. I have five siblings yeah we were a big family my mother was very laid back she wasn't too strict and she certainly didn't get overbearing for some reason when i think overbearing i think Lois from Malcolm in the middle....
At least as a proud Weird Al fan I can seprate him from his character and those who cant and put Al's past with cheese seem to have a difficult time with separating character from actor and I like my character and actor separated too because cheese isn't the exact clone of Al and Pinkie isn't the exact clone of Andrea. Besides Al's parents were supportive and loving and overprotective over their son so again cheese's past was completely different even with little we got in the show I had a bad feeling about Cheese's parents.
And the HIE stories those are just as awful along with the mary sues ugh. OCs are really hard to write good and i am glad you took effort to make your OC good most wont.
[quoteAnd yes, the violin's pretty.
My sister gets better and better with each day, especially when Mom plays the piano along with her. ]Aww that's pretty sweet. 
5193080 Don't worry, we're cool. *tries desperately to find a thumbs up icon but fails*
And in this case, the parental favoritism (over academic performance and their mother's dislike of the accordion) seriously undermined Cheese and Tomato's relationship. Although both of them don't really like their workaholic zombie of a dad and their overbearing nag of a mom. It ain't all out abuse, but it still created a lot of misery for the kiddos.
Funny thing, Tomato was originally the unfavorite for being so hyper and annoying, not to mention their parents didn't want a second foal--he was an accident. He seriously resents being a "plan B" after Cheese became a party pony.I'm not one to judge big families--my aunt had eight kids, my other aunt had seven, and another aunt adopted 10 kids. Compared to that, my family of four kids feels small...
Still, for years my big bro resented not having a little brother... only three younger sisters. If I could sum up my childhood with him... it would be PURE TORTURE. I'm just thankful he grew up and only has minor teases that are actually pretty funny.
Even if I don't consider Cheese an entire cut-and-paste pony version of Weird Al, it's still fun to make those references and pull some personality traits and experiences from some of his songs. And believe it or not, Tomato has a couple Weird Al references of his own...
Yeah, some people don't get that OCs take effort in order for them to be believable.
Creating an OC sibling of a canon character takes even more effort. Tomato took several weeks to create and his ask blog was a lot of help in developing his character further, including some of his own silly little quirks that remind the audience he's related to Cheese.
As much as I associate Cheese with Al, you’re not making me mad for giving him a different backstory, I think difference if something the character needs a little of. Of course, I left a comment on a different story saying I disliked associating Cheese with Al so much, and it’s true.