The Reggie Kush Story

by yourfanfictionnarrator

Chapter 5

“… Um, hi.”
The strange old pony licked his lips. He gurgled up something fierce and spit it out onto the ground, causing Reggie to flinch. He cleared his throat and turned back to them.
“My name’s Harry Whole. Who are you?” He said.
His voice was sinister and raspy. The mucus in his throat gurgled when he talked.
‘This feels like a horror movie’ He thought.
“My name is Reggie, and this is Sugarberry. We’re kinda-
“Well isa pleasure ta meet you Eggie and Bugarberry.”
“It’s uh…. Yeah right. Look we’re kinda lost here. We were trying to find the Fat Colt Fryer in the town square, but we got a little sidetracked.” He said.
“Well I’ll be a daddy’s limp doge. My wife works at dat place.”
‘What the hell is a doge?’ Reggie thought.
Meanwhile Sugarberry took comfort in knowing this crazy pony had a wife. At least that meant something. He wasn’t too crazy for his wife, so either he had a really tolerant wife, or he wasn’t as crazy as he seemed.
“Well, that’s cool. Do you know how to get there?” Reggie asked.
“Only from mah house. I kin take you dere.”
There were a number of questions Reggie wanted to ask right now. The first one was, ‘Why the hell would I follow a creepy ass guy to his house?’ The second was, ‘Where the hell is this guy’s accent from?’ Most of his other questions had something to do with the old pony’s appearance, but he decided not to ask them. Or any of his questions for that matter.
“I dunno. Do you think you can just point what direction it’s in.” Reggie asked.
The old pony released a throaty sounding whine.
“Well, my house is in dat direction.” He pointed is hoof to the right. “And from there….”
He looked forward in concentration. His eyes gradually changed to a confused look.
“I can’t remember.” He said.
_

“So… hehe, this is your place huh?” Reggie asked.
Sitting stationary about 10 feet away was a weather worn rusty old mobile home. Holes were popping up through the outer walls here and there. The roof was dented in some places and the ground was a mess with pine needles.
The old pony hacked again.
“Yeauhp. ‘Dis here is mah home.” He said proudly. “It looks better on the inside. Come on in.”
Reggie’s pupils dialated simultaneously with Sugarberry’s.
“Haha, yeah no thanks. Can you just point us in the direction –“
“I got’s french fries from ‘Fat Colt’ in mah fridge ta tide ya ova if’in ya want.” He interrupted.
His ears perked like a dog.
“Food?”
The old pony opened the front door and invited them in. Reggie cautiously followed him into the house.
“What the fuuuuuuuck!” Reggie said in awe.
The inside of the house was like a fucking best buy. The walls were gloss white and decked out with shelves full of priceless electronics and mementos. His appliances were top of the line and everything was spotless.
“We’z got company sweet pie.” He shouted.
Reggie and Sugarberry looked at every inch of the house exchanging looks of astonishment with each other. They stood at attention to the sound of clip clopping hooves toward them.
‘I wonder how ugly this chick is.’ Reggie thought.
Out of the shadow emerged a young mare with a bleach blond salon quality mane and expert makeup.
‘Holy SHIT!’
Reggie’s eyes nearly bulged from his sockets.
‘I mean, Sugarberry is an easy 7 but this chicks a 10!’
“Is this your daughter?” He asked.
The old pony chuckled.
“Daughta?”
“Hello there, I’m Harry’s wife, my name is Glory.” She said. “Harry, you should have told me we’d have company, I would have put on something nice.”
“You look purty like a bowl of fruit baby.” He complimented… at least, Reggie thought that was a compliment.
“Wait a sec, if Harry’s last name is Whole and your name is Glory-
“You two must be famished.” She interrupted. “Sit down over here and I’ll get you something to eat.”
Harry grabbed a case of some kind off of the floor with his mouth and placed it on the table.
“A’Course, first…-“
He opened the case presenting 4 large cigar size blunts and two packs worth of hoof rolled cigarettes.
“We gonna have ta get high.”
Reggie slammed the door shut.
_

“So if I just tell you where I got it from, I don’t have to go to jail?” Sobbed the young mare.
“That’s right. You just tell me who it was and you’re off the hook.” Lied the cop.
“No gay rape?”
“No gay rape.” The cop said comfortingly.
_

There was a knock at the door.
Dragon Chaser let out a groan and set his needle down on the couch.
“Dizzy Twister, get the damn door!” He yelled.
No response.
The door was knocked on again.
“Ughh, for shit’s sake.” He said.
He hid the needle under the couch.
“I’m coming.”
He opened the door.
“Woah, look, it’s McGyver.”
The cop was not amused.
“Do you know how to pick locks?” He asked.
“Are you Reginald Kush?”
“Who’s asking?”
The colt pushed his sunglasses up and pulled out his wallet. There was an ID on the front.
“EQI, Equestrian Bureau of Investigation.” He stated.
“Yeah I know what it stands for. And no, Reggie is my roommate.”
“Mind if I ask you a few questions?”
“Not today guy.”
“Excuse me?”
“I know my rights, and no, I don’t feel like answering any questions right now.”
The cop’s eye brows sank.
“Oh, sorry to hear that.” He said.
He lifted a hoof as if to wave goodbye, before plowing it into Dragon Chasers throat and tackling him into the house. He choked for air as he stood back up.
“You, you can’t do that!” He yelled.
“Oh yeah? Who you gonna call?”
He pulled out a switch blade and sent it gliding through the couch’s head cushion.
“Now, hippie. Where is Reginald Kush?” He demanded.
_

Reggie blew out a few smoke rings before picking up another hoof full of fries, and shoving them into his mouth. He gazed at the hospitable couple.
“Man, you two really know how to make a colt feel happy. How did you two meet?” Asked the conversation craver.
“Well,” Glory Whole began. “It all happened at this public bathroom-
“Nevermind, I don’t need to know.”
Reggie took another drag.
“This weed is really great, what is this here? Dutch Poison or Blue Dream or something?”
“Well how ‘bout dat. This boy sure knows his plants. Your close but na. It’s a cross called Dutch Dream.”
Reggie was having a wonderful time. That hard shell of solitude was finally beginning to break. One day, Reggie hoped he would have lots of friends. Good ones like them. One’s who wouldn’t judge him for his talent. One’s that enjoyed his company just as much as he enjoyed theirs. Nothing truly brings ponies together like weed.
“It’s fantastic. I’d love to trade some seeds with you some time. Have you ever had Red Queen of Hearts?”
The doorbell rang.
Harry’s joints popped as he stood up.
“S’cuze me, ah’ll be right back.” He said.
He clip clopped to the door and pulled it open.
“Can ah help you stranger?”
The colt’s sunglasses flashed in the light as he looked up.
“EQI, I’m looking for somepony who was last seen heading into these woods with a pink haired mare. His name is Reginald Kush; he has a multicolored mane and purple fur. Have you seen anypony like that walk through here?” He asked.
Reggie and Sugarberry looked at each other with wide eyes and small pupils.
Sugarberry mouthed the words ‘What’s going on’
Reggie mouthed back ‘I don’t know
“Hide under the table cloth.” Glory Whole whispered.
She lifted it up and they obliged.
“Sorry offica, hadn’t seen nuttin like dat. Sounds dangerous, ya think you’n tell me why dey’re so important?”
“Afraid I can’t. Thank you for your time.” He said. “You seem to be enjoying your meal, have a nice night.”
“Thank ya kindly now. Good luck.” Harry yelled back.
He closed the door. Reggie and Sugarberry came out from under the table cloth.
“So… care ta explain?” He asked.

Author's Note:

So, yeah, I know. It's been a while. But this was no doubt my favorite chapter. It was lots of fun to write and though it took forever, it was worth it. Summers here, so expect more chapters. And remember, happy smokin.