Braeburn’s met the filly of his dreams, and he’s corralled Cheese Sandwich, Equestria’s premier party planner, to throw the biggest wedding Appleloosa has ever seen. Of course, he’s only exchanged letters with his intended, but Braeburn’s sure she’ll be everything he ever thought she’d be.
Braeburn/Cherry Jubilee --- or not; strongly implied CheesePie.
100% approved by Twilight's Library
Reviewed on Seattle's Angels.
Featured on Equestria Daily.
Packed full of fruit and good for what ails you.
If you enjoy this, you may also enjoy its sequel, Slice of Life.
Chapters (1)
I have to admit - this story is pretty good! You had me laughing at just the right times, and my reactions all the way throughout were nothing but positive. Your grammar is very good too, from what I can see. I liked the whole idea you had of a flunked marriage, and the cute little tidbits of Cheese Pie on the side was nice.
This made me smile, and was probably the best I've seen Cheese written in any story so far. The end, even though I got it before he did, was funny and gave me a nice big grin.
I'd love to see more of Cheese's adventures.
4066293 Thanks! The one tricky bit writing it was the contact embarrassment I felt for Braeburn. I almost didn't want to write those bits, and then I realized I had to.
4066522 *party horns*
BEST. COMPLIMENT. EVER.
I'm working on something, although I know it won't be everybody's dish, but the show writers definitely came up with an interesting character when they created Cheese.
Oh my god! Just last night I started a story with Braeburn and Cheese at the Salt Block! I... no words. Crap. Now I shouldn't bother trying to figure out what it's even about... I just felt the urge and a trickle of a beginning came out but for once I wasn't sure where it was going. Other than Braeburn is friends with Cheese.
But I'm gonna read this! So pleased! Your stuff is so much love...
Also I haven't had much sleep so I'm sorry if I sound stupid right now...
4067111 WRITE IT! AND I WILL READ IT!
No, I'm sorry if it scooped your idea! I don't know where this came from, other than Cheese dovetailing with an idea I'd had about Braeburn and Cherry Jubilee for a long time. He was sort of the perfect narrator. I was about to send you this and I even credited our conversation in my blog, so I do hope you're not annoyed.
Your fic doesn't have to line up with mine, and besides, Cheese has been to Appleloosa at least once, and probably more, and there's only one saloon, so who's to say he doesn't hang out with Braeburn there all the time?
Eeedge, sorry--I do hope it wasn't poaching, but I had a lot of fun with Cheese's response to Cherry Jubilee.
4067135
No no no no no! Not at all poaching! Also, I loooooved this so much! It was perfect! Cheese really was the best narrator for this!
Ahhh and the details. I loved the details. And Cheese's thoughts. And the whole way it fizzled. This was magnificent.
Oh man, as for mine, I dunno. I have a tiny bit done. I could show it to you, but I normally don't start writing until I have a stronger idea in mind. This time I just wanted "Cheese and Braeburn are friends" and so I really have no idea what I'm even doing. It's never a good way to go into something. I just really wanted a conversation, I guess, but I didn't get far before I got too tired and sort of ran out of inspiration for the night. I guess I'll give finishing it a shot but gah... I don't think it can compare to this. I'll try anyway.
4067169 Aw, I know what you mean. This popped up because I was trying to write a story with EG Flash Sentry as a narrator. I was trying to make him sound sensitive, and he was just coming out stoned. I'm going to muscle through it anyway, because there's going to be a fun bit and it's a setup for something else, but DANG, Flash is bland.I even tried reading other takes on him, including some great ones, but he just becomes mush when I try to write him. Cheese, I feel as though I could write all day.
And you were thinking of Braeburn as the level-headed one, weren't you? Totally different take.
4067220
True, true.
I know what I said, but I'm really thinking Cheese is the "normal" kind of weird, for lack of a better term. Pinkie is really out there sometimes but Cheese is the kind of guy you could maybe meet. That's not to say Pinkie isn't realistic, she is, but she's one in a million. Cheese is unique and unusual, but he's a less "head in the clouds" type? He's enthusiastic without always being bubbly. Pinkie smiles at weird moments and Cheese frowns at weird moments and they both do it, but more so as I've said. Or something. I'm not really sure. Pinkie is more drastic.
Cheese has strange hobbies and interests and a great sense of humor and he's a blast but Pinkie is without a doubt living every waking moment of every day to the fullest or at least she keeps telling herself that.
Crap, this wasn't even about Pinkie. Braeburn is just silly and I can see him being practical about living but not about enjoying life. Cheese is practical about enjoying life but not necessarily about living. I think that's how you portrayed it and I think that's about right.
And I like this dynamic. I'm betting there's a great amount of pivot between them when it comes to who is more rational at any given moment. Overall, I just hugely support the idea of Braeburn and Cheese as friends. Would you be willing to add him into Canterlot High? I just... it seems even better now. I can just see them screwing up and not even knowing how to explain it to one another and all sorts of slice of life and mild silliness.
On the up side for mine, though now I sort of regret it, I am writing from Braeburn's POV, so that should be interesting. (I think that may also be why I dunno where I'm going. I relate to Cheese twice as much. Braeburn is just enthusiastic about the results of hard work... but he's a sweetie.)
But I'm shutting up about that now.
Flash Sentry... yeah, I dunno. He is bland. He's kind of a generic blank slate dude.
Okay, here's how to spice him up. I'm pulling this out of my butt. Write him as if he were asexual. Like, I'm serious. I know it's gonna be teen at most, but I think that could be interesting. And maybe he isn't sensitive, he's just bored with life but objective and not looking to see the world burn. Maybe he's hoping there is more than life that he's not seeing? If he's human, maybe he just hit that time where the truth about adulthood is starting to filter through and he doesn't know what to think.
I'm sure none of that is fitting for his personality but uhhh... I got nothin' else except this random garbage I'm babbling at you right now.
Maybe you need a reason for why he's sensitive. After all, no one is sensitive without trying to be.
Last note: I loved loved loved Cheese's immediate reaction to Braeburn's mentioning of Pinkie. She has a big scary boyfriend... bwahahahaha. And of course Braeburn dismissed her pretty easily. He does not know... he does not see... the beauty that is Pinkie.
4067287 "Maybe you need a reason for why he's sensitive. After all, no one is sensitive without trying to be." AHA! I know now what I must do! Wrong narrator! I think this will fix it. I do have some ideas for Flash, and I'm quite sure it won't line up with canon eventually, as in soon. In fact, it is more or less making stuff up, but with Flash, what are you going to do? Anyway, he's not the main character. It's really EG Pinkie and Cheese.
Nopony fully appreciates the sheer genius that is Pinkie Pie, but no prophet is honored in his own land, and besides, Cheese is totally biased.
4067417
I'm glad I could help.
Pretty much. We know very little about him. I doubt diverting from canon is much of an issue.
Then why were you tormenting yourself by trying to write from his POV?
And that's also why they're both so awesome.
Also, if you've not seen this yet, I love it. This was what inspired me along all these trains of thought to begin with.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/2/3/542461__safe_pinkie+pie_braeburn_pinkie+pride_spoiler-colon-s04e12_cheese+sandwich_artist-colon-pasikon.jpg
The adorableness... and the teasing. I can't imagine it being anything else.
Also every image I've seen of him with more horse-like legs has been amazing. This needs to be a more common thing with MLP art. I have almost never seen any fanart like that which I didn't like. And I love the super cute and more show-accurate styles too.
Ironically, perhaps, I have yet to see a humanized pic of Cheese that I really liked. They either make him look too girly or the artist just doesn't pull off humans in a way that I care for. Which is a pity because I've seen some with him and cute human Pinkies that had great ideas but awkward technicalities of some sort or another.
I'm too picky... I've seen several of Pinkie on her own that were good. Just... for some reason all his best artists only draw pony, I guess. Not that I really mind. I just never expected that?
*stops rambling now...*
Just when I thought there were no good Cherry Jubilee fics, you write this. Excellent!!
This story was great! I loved it! And especially all CheesePie moments or rather hints.
Can you write more? That would be totally great!
Mmm....Cheese Pie.
4067552
You dont see to many human pics of CS cuz he is a ponyfacation of Weird Al
4070340
I like how you unintentionally insult my intelligence, but don't know how to spell the words.
I said I haven't seen many good human pictures of Cheese. That is because he isn't a pony version of Weird Al, he's strongly inspired by Weird Al. Presumably the artist doesn't want to their depiction of him to end up looking exactly like Weird Al, but then they screw up in other ways (and they generally screw up Pinkie too, so it's also a case of technical expertise in these cases as well.)
And that is why I said that I find it ironic.
I've seen good humanizations, but none of those were Cheese and Pinkie in the same picture.
4067552 I think--think, mind you--that the use of a different narrator will make sense in context, but I'm re-thinking it right now and we'll have to see, and anyway you can't know if something will work until you try it, right?
Normally I don't like the horsy style art so much, but it does look perfect on Braeburn, for some reason.
4067938 Aw, thanks! She's under-used, poor mare. I guess she probably doesn't get off Cherry Hill Ranch too much nowadays, although back in the day, whoo Nellie.
4068870 Welp, the plan is to do some EG CheesePie, so I think so: one short one-shot and a long runner.
4070004 Indeed.
4070383 And EG is its own thing, too: not just "human," but its own style. The body types are weird, and then there's the coloration, which on Cheese is (unfortunately? fortunately?) not nearly as weird as, say, Rainbow Dash's. I've noticed a ramping up of EG art, probably as a response to Rainbow Rocks coming out awfully soon. I've been a bit worried about putting a lot of effort into something that's about to get Jossed, but unless they decide to go into great detail about Pinkie having a canon boyfriend who is not Cheese, and they probably won't, I should be fine, maybe with some minor tweaks. There are some artists who have done nice EG art who just haven't gotten around to CheesePie. I've been collecting what I can--one really nice one, but clearly a wedding picture and not something I can use, and this, which I think is sort of cool (the eyebrow is right and the hair sculpt works for it, too):
derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/3/5/567452__safe_rainbow+dash_pinkie+pie_humanized_gun_looking+at+you_weapon_scene+interpretation_pinkie+pride_cheese+sandwich.jpeg
Bonus points for Rainbow Dash standing back there looking like Miss M'arm. Plus, he looks like a smartass, because he totally is. EDIT: My theory is that the guns are the kind with the little flags that say "BANG."
I'm sure FillyBlue would do an AMAZING EG'd CheesePie, but she doesn't do commissions or requests and I'm not going to be an entitled fan about it. I'm not even going to ask, because I would not want to put her in the spot of feeling bad about saying no. She was nice enough to let me borrow her art for "Bombed," and that was more than enough. But if she did, I would jam money through the freaking screen, because if she can do Mare Cheese and Rainbow Power Cheese and Poison Joke Cheese'd Cheese, she could do a hay of an EG Cheese.
Not a bad fic I LOVE it
4071037
Fair enough! Feel free to PM me if you want any feedback. I'd be happy to help if possible.
This is quite true, although I've yet to see him drawn in the EG style (or if I saw it, I forgot about it.) I don't care for the EG style much, unless it is really well drawn. It looks too weird otherwise. But I've only seen people drawing him as a more traditionally styled human, so it wasn't because of that.
There were several I liked in concept but then I either didn't like the art style or it wasn't drawn that well or some other quirk ruined it for me. Of the two I kind of liked, one was sort of bland because they didn't get his hair quite right and the demeanor was too boyishly generic, but from a technical aspect it was great. The other had the right attitude, good pose, and made him look masculine without being beefy, but Pinkie looked like a child in comparison and his hair was just weird.
Yeah, I highly doubt they'll give her someone else. Even if they do, they won't really play it up very much so it's not as if you couldn't just make that an old boyfriend of hers and Cheese is her current one. I know what I said about discussing the whole "toss away pairing" approach, but in the circumstances where we don't even know the character, I don't really consider it an issue. I can't possibly imagine a brand new EG boyfriend character getting much screentime... Flash Sentry barely got any in the previous one and he had a role to play. This guy is doomed to be in the background even more. Even in these circumstances, to just ignore said character and not force another pairing on them is best. It's unnecessary and it can be assumed the guy will move on over time. The only reason for mentioning him dating anyone else would be if he broke up with Pinkie to be with said person and she's mentioning it because she's mad. It's kind of a non-issue, ya know? Not that I think you would, I'm just explaining my distaste for this concept.
However, I don't like the idea of Cheese being shoved off because we know him, we like him, and I feel it's more dignified to give him some proper attention if he's going to be brought up at all in a case where Pinkie is dating someone else or simply ignored for the most part (saying Pinkie liked him but it hadn't developed into anything so far.) Unless Cheese's interaction is an important plot point for the story, which I would like, it's kinder to let him be off on his own and doing whatever because he lives a life outside of Pinkie. If that makes any sense.
I realize in the Ron Weasley example it gets messier, but it's the same. If you have to do it, show the realistic ramifications on the friendships and such. Don't just shove them out of the way and pretend that puts an immediate band-aid on it. Better yet, make it in AU, if there's no getting around the pairing, the way there is with Cheese (since he's not officially with her yet.)
Er, but I'm getting off topic. I just like getting on my soap box sometimes and since we had this discussion before, I thought it was relevant to bring up here.
How did I miss this one? Oh well! This is now my current favorite.
He looks kinda young, but then they technically are. He could be taller/lankier with maybe a leaner face, but since it's a profile and he does have a rounder head overall (it's really only in the jaw and only sometimes pronounced) this totally works. Definitely best hairstyle thus far. The shading could use some work and maybe the curls are a tad funky on the side, but you're right. It works really well. And I love Pinkie! They got her hair just right and I love her expression, especially when combined with his.
I also love the guns... just realized they resemble their cannons! Bwahaha... definitely the kind that have little flags in them that say Bang! Or else spit streamers and confetti. And yeah, RD in the BG is fantastic bonus.
I actually really love the clothing. The shirts aren't what I'd expect them to wear, but anything else might have been too garish. I think my only real complaint is that I wish his belt/top of his pants were his fur color.
Sorry, I know it's not yours... I just analyze everything forever.
Agreed, I think she'd make an amazing pic of EG CheesePie.
Also... did you see the Alicorn Cheese? I died. He looks so happy.
Breaburn and Cheese being buddies fic? heck yes. Have I ever mention how much I love how you write Cheese Sandwich?
Cherry was also very lovely in this story
4081020 Thank you! I love writing him. I'm hoping I can keep him in character during the next project.
I was stunned to see that there weren't that many fics about Miss Jubilee. That seems a pity, since there's so much you could do with her. She has kin in Manehattan (admittedly, I made that up,) and plenty of previous relationships. I feel really bad for her here. Whatever she said to Braeburn, she knows probably that this was her last chance, and she clearly saw "you're too old" in his eyes. That's got to have hurt. In the unlikely event that Braeburn were to re-think this, I think she's been so hurt she wouldn't really be able to respond well, and besides, there's a very real age gap that probably wouldn't have been good. Cheese Sandwich, on the other hand, got the message loud and clear that Cherry Jubilee is one smokin' lady, and there he agrees with what her niece Cherry Blossom has heard about her (in another of my fics) that her Auntie Jubilee is the prettiest filly for miles around. Oh, well, you never know, Miss Jubilee. Where there's life, there's hope.
This was almost my idea for a Cherry x Braeburn fanfic....good thing I switched because you made this.
4086561 Aw. Well, the world definitely needs more Cherry Jubilee, so get crackin'. Considering how many fics there are of almost every Dash ship in existence, I think there's room for more Braeburn/Cherry Jubilee. But I'm glad you liked it!
4108194 I see you've used Cherry Blossom in another story.
4110203 Ee-yup! I like doing that kind of thing. I don't want it to be something where people have to know that, but it's fun for me and maybe fun for readers, too. Plus Dodge Junction is under-used, so why not?
4110342 I think it's wonderful.
*Grins and applauds* Very nicely done. I won't deny the ending made me groan and laugh. Definitely going to check out the sequel.
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
And have a like on top of that
4159473 Thank you! I'm really pleased about that.
4144283 Hope you like that one, too!
4159489
You're very welcome
HAH!
The levels of awkward in that one were terrific… and that second last line. Icing on the cake!
Hmm…
Huh. "Party of One" first aired April 29th. Close, but I'm not sure if that's what you meant or not.
In any case, a most enjoyable comedy of errors, with delicious CheesePie overtones. Thank you for it.
4526410 The Hub's actually posted a "Happy Birthday, Pinkie Pie!" message on May 3rd.
Thanks!
Congrats on the SA feature.
4526481 I was sitting here thinking ". . . Starswirl Academy?" and then I realized it was Seattle's Angels. My mind is blown. Wow. Thanks for letting me know.
quickmeme.com/img/d6/d6ea88d7e899e56ab3975a0e1e92800892fe147d15d498cf86bec0bf30f355ef.jpg
Interesting... Guess I'll have to check out the sequel. In the meantime, an upvote for you.
4526854 I got a Gatsby, too? Wow!
4529933 Thanks! I do hope you enjoy the sequel. Personal bias, of course, but it is one of my favorites.
Rather bittersweet, but Braeburn was rather naive during the whole thing.
This story was great. It had enough awkward moments and disappointment seeded within to make me feel sorry for Braeburn, but what made it really great was that little punch at the end (the "pity party" had me
).
Cheese Sandwich felt so... different in this fiction. He seemed more mature.
I like it. Even the goofiest characters need some serious moments.
Very interesting portrayal of Braeburn.
I find that I like - and pity the poor guy as he goes around being sweetly naive
Well worth reading.
It is nice to see that the Bison and Ponies live together in piece.
CheseSandwich develops an eidetic memory and the ability to do mental mathematics. I wonder what source of these abilities could possibly be.
It is too bad that it did not workout between CherryJubilee and Bræburn. 1 raises apples and the other cherries.
Fan-tastic!
I'm sorry to say that this story didn't really work for me, likely beacuse I was expecting something different.
I've never really gotten a feeling for what either Braeburn or Cherry Jubilee were like in their letters, so I wasn't actually able to compare that with the impression they then gave each other in person. That's where I expected the humor to come from.
5235283 Sorry it didn't work for you, but that wasn't really the point of the story. The story is intentionally an in medias res depiction of the failed meeting and the aftermath. It's even in the title: "Mr. Lonelyheart Meets Miss Lovestruck." I thought it was clear enough from the way Braeburn acts that his letters are an exact reflection of him, and that hers are more or less as he describes them. Adding the letters would have slowed things down, and wouldn't have made sense from the POV of the narrator (Cheese), unless Braeburn had dumped the letters in his lap and told him to start reading.
So again, I'm sorry it didn't please you, but I think it is because you were expecting something that it wasn't going to be.
5235357
I have to agree that adding the letters themselves would have slowed things down and wouldn't have made much sense, but I do believe there were other ways, and pretty natural ways at that, to introduce the audience to its contents. As I recall, Braeburn doesn't tell Cheese Sandwich much about the mare he is about to marry and we as the audience only get to know her from when she arrives by train. At the same time, I do believe it would have been perfectly natural for Cheese Sandwich to ask a little bit about Cherry Jubilee, as it was her wedding too that he was supposed to organize, and for Braeburn to answer him accordingly. I would say that would have been an opportunity to intrudice a summary of the letters if you had wanted to do so.
But about the content being clear enough, I strongly have to disagree with that. I'd say that the premise of the story stems from the fact that they both believe they painted a perfectly clear picture of themselves, but inadvertently distorted the other one's by adding their own expectations to it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I would have liked to learn more about these expectations to really see how much they were belied.
Not bad ^^ i enjoyed cheese
That last line killed me, I couldn't stop snickering at the idea of Cheese throwing a legit "pity party."
5242876
5344450 Thank you!