Contains R63 M/M shipping between Elusive(Rarity) and Apple Buck(Apple Bloom). Those who dislike this, please move along.
Elusive's air conditioning isn't working, something that doesn't bode well for him in the fresh summer heat. When he looks for someone to help him, Apple Buck offers. What was meant to be a small gesture of thanks winds up becoming a little bit more.
Once again, Mondai Shunketsu helped out a lot with the story. He jumped in to help with a little pre-reading for the second chapter and editing of the story in general. You should definitely go check him out if you liked the story.
Chapters (3)
Interesting. MUST...CLICK...LIKE!!!
4054742 Oh, well thank you.
4054749 Never heard of R63 until now, to be honest with you. I looked it up, so it was easier to understand. After that, I read the story and added it to faves. By the way, remember that story "Dashie"
4054757 Aye, I remember.
4054749 Well, I'm also writing a story that takes place after the events in "Cupcakes." I spoke with the serg and he wants to be in close contact with what I write in it. Yay! My first dark, bloody story on Fimfiction.net
4054769 Nice. Good luck with that.
4054774 I need help coming up with a name, though. I left a sneak peak in my user page all the way at the bottom. Maybe you could read the sneak peek and tell me a few names.
4054774 Please?
4054780 Dude. Look at the title of this thing. Do I really look like the kinda guy that's good with story titles?
4054788 ...maybe.
4054789 Well, if we could kinda keep conversations in PMs instead of the comments of my stories, that'd be nice.
4054791 Okay. Believe me, I understand. That caused an issue a long time ago in my story "Music in our Hearts."
4054796 Icy. Then please make any further replies in a PM. I thank you in advance for your compliance.
Lucy & Buck. Lucy & Buck. Damn it, I should have gotten this!
4055149 Hey, my mind is a puzzle sometimes.
Damn, Chase. excellent work. Oddly enough, Jason found this before I did and sent it me to read. We read It together, and quite liked it.
Oh yes. I'm keenly interested in seeing how this progresses.
waiting for M/M hate
4056405 Here's hoping you'll be waiting a long time. Of course, I get the feeling most people who just dislike that have already just left a dislike and gone on their way. Then again, it may be AC fans that were sorely disappointed this wasn't a crossover.
4056157 Well, considering the awful hour I had this up by yesterday, I'm debating whether or not to post the next chapter at a decent hour and giving up the bump in the update box, or waiting until nearly 10 or 11 and putting it up. I noticed some issues with dialogue in it, so I'll have to fix those before it's ready for posting.
4055703 Oh, well, thank you. I hope you both enjoy the rest of it. I am really hoping to have the next chapter done before much longer. Then it's just deciding whether or not to give up the update box bump in favor of getting the chapter after to bump at a decent time.
Enjoying this so far, don't think I've ever seen this pairing before.
4058252 Makes sense. Most people ship Rarity with AJ or Fluttershy or some high-society character. As for me? I ship whatever strikes my fancy. If I get a good enough story from it, I'll post it here. I hope you enjoy the rest of it when I'm done.
The lesson here: ALWAYS lock the door
Hey! Havel's armor is awesome!
That aside, two things that are mostly unrelated: 1, good chapter. 2, how tough is Gwyn if you don't parry/riposte him?
4064944 Yes, Havel's is awesome, I just remembered my reaction when I saw someone enter the kiln in Havel's. Also:
1) Thank you.
2) It depends on your fighting style and your efficiency with it. If you intend to tank his blows, you probably want to have on full giants+5 and the fire stoneplate ring. Unless, of course, you also intend to use a spear, in which case, just grab good armor, get Havel's greatshield, Ornstein's spear if you managed to take super-Orns last, Silver Knight Spear if not, and just poke him to death.
Just, you know, watch out for the grab. That think has nearly killed me time and time again.
4066418 Huh. So, beating him in 3 attempts using Havel's Armor and two-handing the Black Knight Sword is worth at least a decent amount of bragging rights?
4066651 Likely more than beating him in five with a mage build wherein I only use an Enchanted Great Scythe +5 and full Black Knights.
4067445 Also, I used Keyboard and Mouse.
4068435 *ecstatic and thunderous applause*
Well that could have gone better. I hope silver doesn't tell applejack. I think then the world would end. Best of luck with the next chapter, great chapter by the way.
First chapter done.
4150689 Your opinion?
I think I like Scooter
4150739 He does appear to be quite the fan favourite.
Well...that escalated quickly.
This is a funny ass fic. I don't normally read M/M, but this is funny!
Oh God. Apple's all like
Elusive's all like
Silver's all like
And Scooter's all like
Inchisting. First m/m ship I've ever read. Usually I stay away from shipping, anthro, r63... yeah, it's not normally my thing.
But for what's there, your characters seem all nice and different to each other. Elusive does seem the "feminine" type. I love characters that just act all "whatever" about things, like Scooter. And Apple Buck is that "ye olde dependable" type, a lot like myself.
I'll see this through. I hope you can make the romance believable because it does feel a little rushed. More evaluation later with reading of later chapters.
Love the awkward build-up to this whole situation. Having the younger ones just burst in like that was pretty funny as well
You go into a decent amount of description when relaying your characters' thoughts, I notice. Although, despite there being a lot of nicely done description, it didn't feel like a whole lot really happened in this chapter.
The dark souls thing didn't really feel that necessary. I know it's like your favourite game atm, but putting as much emphasis on it as you did kinda drew me out of the story. Then again, perhaps I just didn't care for it because I'm not a DS fan.
Welp, one more to go, see you again soon.
Well, fuck, they got sprung.
Anyway, this isn't bad by any stretch. Applejack's and Rarity's attitudes/accents are well-preserved within their r63 counterparts. You've got the makings of a fairly sweet ship here. I just feel like there is so much more depth you could go into. Talk about what they've done while they've been together for so long, things like that. I t just feels like you've put them in this kinda situation for no real reason. We're told that time has passed, but not what happened in said time.
A lot more fleshing out of their relationship would be a good thing to see. And now we finally have some potential conflict! Excellent. If you were gonna get more in-depth next chapter, then just ignore this.
Keep it up, dude.
4171395 Well, as far as my detail of the events between chapters 2 and 3, it was skipped for the fact that it was not interesting. Fairly nondescript romance-y stuff occurred. There were shared meals and evenings on the couch. There was kissing and snuggling. No one else found out between the end of 2 and beginning of 3. The skip was because I wasn't sure who would want to read the lack of any level of conflict. In Chapter 3, there is newly rising conflict, so it's important to the story and the reader, as well as much more likely to interest readers.
If there is legitimate want for how I care to display basic romance between two males in a story, I might make a long chapter with a few of their "dates" after finishing this up. If not, then I'll finish this up when I can once more achieve consistent coherency.
In other news, more-so relevant to you than anything with the story and your comments, I'm working through one of your stories now. Unfortunately, I'll likely have to wait until Thursday to get decent progress made.
4171758 good response.
I like this. And fair enough about the conflict, I'm hoping you pull something kool out
4171882 I like to take some time and consider what my readers want to see. As for the mentions of Dark Souls so often, I did it to keep a track of the time throughout conversations, as well as to keep the world around the conversation more dynamic. If things are going on in the background, it tends to make a scene appear more casual, hence why there was a slight strengthening in focus on the conversation nearing a growth in importance upon the conversation. The events play out as the characters perceive them, in a sense. The more outside detail there is, the more casually the character is experiencing things, and the easier both they and the reader can have little details slip by unnoticed.
It's tiny and hard to appreciate, but when done correctly and used in proper situations, it can be very effective. I call it a stylistic choice, but it's easy to understand why someone might call it a mistake in this particular case. After all, there isn't a whole lot to go missing in the scene. It's good practice, though, and hopefully doesn't make the scenes too off-putting. It may seem, and I may often claim, that I'm just hitting shifting things for the sake of doing so, but I do put time and thought into my stories. It may just be fanfiction about colourful equines, but it's practice, plain and simple.