Your normal teenager wakes up in the Everfree Forest.
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4074363 Everything be sAid
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I will be watching...
With baited breath.
lel
Normal in Equestria, newest genre.
4074363
Truer words were never spoken.
here we go
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Moar, pls~
4077178 holy shit .... what were celestia and twilight doing in there?
4074363
So, you're a reviewer?
I don't usually like self inserts, but this an exception. Well done.
For HiE self inserts, this one is actually bretty gud
YAY!!! HiE self-insert story!!!!!
Please tell me this isnt one of those fics where the person is treated as an animal.....
Oh,Love the story by the way
Also,PRAISE THE SUN!
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how long till she has a brake down from being depraved of normal teen comfort like tv internet iPhones and other etc? we never ask that it just adapt and be happy in the land of ponies with not much with us I be home sick!
4077473
He?
Immediate fave and like. No regrets.
Edit: this could use some editing for typos and what not, but still. I'm predisposed to ladies and their dogs named Possum.
Alright this got me to chuckle and this potentially looks like a well invested story to get behind. I'm enjoying it so far hope for more soon.
4074415 Normal y u do dis.
Dat face
I have to say this is one of the better if not best self inserts ive read and is the first one ive read that has a female human in equestria instead of a male human, nice work
Heh, you kids and your iphones. Probably couldn't even imagine a world before cel phones, the internet... video games. Hope she has a plan when the charge dies in that thing.
The story itself could have used a little more narrative towards the end. While she knows it's the Everfree suddenly, how did she come to that conclusion? There wasn't a sign posted next to her bed was it? Also, I'm guessing her bed came along for the ride, did anything else make it? I'm guessing she doesn't sleep commando so at least she's got some PJ's on. Rarity would have a field day examining artificial materials and machine-grade stitching. At least the language barrier isn't a problem, although when her iris shrunk to pinpricks I was curious if she was partly 'toonified. I seem to recall your eyes would actually do the opposite when terrified so you could see better while running as something was trying to eat you.
Ponies are gonna wonder what's up when her hair starts changing color, fading to whatever those roots are. Do ponies have hair dye? Probably. Tho Canterlot unicorns would most likely use magic for a temporary change of style.
I DEMAND MORE NOW!!!
~Fluttershy
You deserve a HAIRCUT
4078258
Why?
4078279
4078258
Because... hippies?
I must say, I really like this. It's basically what any of us would do if we woke in equestria. I'm looking forward to seeing more.
Nice little story beginning you posted there in our HiE section.
We shall follow thine adventures through our lands of equine greatness for now.
We want to see how thou will manage with our kin.
Luna! Stop that! That's my mobile. Get your own.
Anyhow.
I hope you'll get this one going good.
I just love to see the different types of reactions the humans get when they get into Equestria.
They are mostly with men and up to now not really self inserts, but it's interesting to see a girl self insert for once.
I'll keep an eye on this one.
And by the way, I have my own(not self insert) HiE story up if you are interested. If yes say so and I'll provide you with link and password to the story. It's called As Time Passes by.
Dragon
4077478 oops?
i dont normally follow incomplete stories. and i dont like to follow full HiE stories. after reading the posts and reading the chapter im willing to give it a chance
I think I'm going to like this. Nice start.
You do need an editor (you begin with a run on sentence and the rest of your text is peppered with sentence fragments) but this isn't enough to turn me off.
Good for you, Normal, you are writing the first HIE I expect to enjoy.
wtf iz dis wher is tha obligatory clop scene?
This is perfectly
*puts on shades*
normal.
May the many eyes be watching this one....
Interesting.
I will second JMac's statement that you need an editor:
The sentence structure is awkward; perhaps consider the following: "A scowl slid across her face as she read this, replacing the bright smile, and her eyes flicked..."
"Shrunk" or any other synonym also works. "Dilate" means to grow wider or expand; if they dilated to the size of pinpricks, they must have been even smaller than pinpricks to start with.
An apostrophe denoting possession is required: the paw belongs to your average lion, therefore it is the average lion's paw.
"Underbrush" is one word.
Fucking greatest story ever
11/10
4080726
Thank you. As soon as I locate my laptop I will try to fix those first thing. I always struggle to notice my own grammatical errors...
Not bad for a self insert, I'll be awaiting more. Just be sure to describe yourself to the audience a bit more. Remember, we don't know you as well as you do.
WOW A HIE SELF INSTERT STORY! Woa My Own Tale, save some inovation for the rest of us. (Sarcasm)
4085481
4081771
Aye, aye captain. I will only do it in pieces though. Blocks of description can be worse for one's own tale than no description at all. If I recall though I've already, in a short span, mentioned hair color and paleness of skin. I already have planned future descriptions for future chapters too.
4104692
As soon as I finish typing the next chapter I'll update it.
4104703
I'll see if I can work them into it for you!
This was so ordinary it's weird.
encore
no, seriously though, continue or I will
killhug, yea, that's wat I meant4239997
I am continuing it! I promise!
goodohh...can I have oatmeal
That's pretty Normal to me.