Urohringr

by Imploding Colon

Ah, Crap, Not This Game

"I think..." Aatxe shuddered, leaning just far enough to stare into the gaping holes that the impacting temple shards had made with the floor of the building's lower hold. "I-I think the worst is over with." He turned and gazed at the other survivors. "The structures have stopped colliding with one another."

Arcshod glanced warily at the rest. "Gil'sanna kiulem messa threatta k'neen?"

Seclorum shook his head. "There's no way to tell. Maybe she got to the control room, or maybe the shape shifters just stopped the chaos themselves."

"What about the Tarkington?" Prowse asked from where he stood far from the invading winds, holding a distraught Props close. "Is the wee temple holding that ship still intact?"

"Believe me, I wish I knew," Aatxe muttered. "But I can't see it from this angle to be able to tell."

"Maybe if we sent somepony to the surface, then?" Prowse remarked. "Took a gander from the balcony?"

"Blaa'kensiel!" Arcshod frowned. "Yul'henna thiulen drenna trennde!"

"He's right," Aatxe sighed. "The game has changed. With the arrival of this pegasus, the changelings are one step closer to acquiring something."

"And what's that, exactly?" Prowse asked.

"I'm not sure," Seclorum grumbled. "But I certainly do not wish to find out."

"Hraak suun veel!" a Xonan warrior shouted from where he and two Ledomaritans were rummaging through the nearby rubble. "Rekk theem laak seen, Arcshod Xon-Nagu'n!"

"Jaat'sanna klehm!" Arcshod hollered back, gesturing with a hoof. "Ree'nostra threnna seemh!"

"What... wh-what's going on?" Props murmured through quivering lips.

"Seems as though the most recent shakedown loosened the rubble blocking the hallway, lassie," Prowse said as his one forelimb stroked her mane. "We might actually have a way out of here."

Props gulped. "Or they might have a way in."

Almost immediately, the stallions around the rubble backed up, shouting in mixed tongue.

Xonans forced Lasairfion to back up to a safe distance. Meanwhile, Seclorum and Arcshod levitated crossbows and immediately galloped towards the hallway. They aimed through the fresh niche formed in the corridor.

"Freeze!" Seclorum bellowed, squinting down the sight of his weapon. "Not another move!"

"Oh, for crying out loud..." Josho grumbled, his glowing horn illuminating his obese figure in the middle of the bricklaid passage. "Look, Secchy, it's me! I'm back from the party upstairs." With a shuddering breath, he limped forward. "Have any of you melon fudges seen Rainbow Dash yet—?"

Thwifft!—PING! A crossbolt embedded into the mortar just an inch from Josho's left hoof, freezing him in place.

Seclorum snarled while reloading his crossbow. "Not. Another. Step."

"Dammit, Secchy! It's me!" Frowning, Josho pointed at his glowing horn. "I'm doing magic, see?! Real unicorn right here!"

"Kenn'astra lemmehn trennda'dren," Arcshod hissed.

"What's he vomiting about?!"

"Changelings can mimic unicorn magic," Seclorum said. "They are what they become. It won't fool anypony."

"Because I'm not trying to fool anypony, Secchy!" Josho growled. "If I was a shapeshifter, would I do something as deliberately stupid as march straight down here to greet you guys?!"

"My old friend wasn't one for winning spelling bees," Seclorum said, crossbow trained. "That could easily be mimicked as well."

"Unngh! Fine." Josho frowned and gestured with a hoof. "Twenty-two years ago, back in our station at Blue Chasm, you and I started a yearly contest that we didn't tell anypony about—"

"Let me guess..." Aatxe strolled up, squinting down the corridor at the supposed stallion. "You drank a bunch of rum and saw who could urinate into the ravine the farthest?"

Josho did a double-take. "How did you—?!"

"Because a changeling shaped like you tried that on us over a year ago," Seclorum said. "And if something that obscure is committed to the hive mind, then there's no trusting anything that you have to dredge from our collective memory." The old stallion exhaled heavily. "Nice try..."

"Damn it to Spark's abyss, what do I have to do to convince you I'm harmless?!"

"You can start by trotting back the way you came..."

"Secchy, I'd be insect food if I stay out there! At least tell me if Rainbow Dash made it back or not!"

"Rainbow Dash?!" Props craned her neck. "Josho, did you see her—Mmmfff!"

Prowse shook his head, holding a hoof over her mouth. "Best not to be barkin' up this tree, lassie."

"Mmmmmffff!"

"Alright... Okay! Josho waved his forelimbs. "The blood test, right? Toss me a knife."

"Just leave and don't come back."

"Nuts to that! Toss me a dagger! I'll do the damned blood test—"

A voice grumbled from the shadows, "I bet you would want to get ahold of something to gut them with, ya filthy creep."

Josho spun around. With a gasp, he levitated his shotgun by his side.

Josho stood several feet away, already training his identical manaweapon. As soon as the other obese stallion floated his shotgun, he looked at his double in shock. "Oh, come the buck on! How's that even possible?!"

"You're not fooling anypony, bugjob!" The first Josho exclaimed. "I got here first! Everypony saw it, freak!"

"Oh, no." The second rolled his eyes. "We are not even remotely doing this crap!"

"Then let me have it!" The first glared down the barrel of his boomstick. "Splatter my bug guts all across the walls of this floating turdtropolis!"

The second gnashed his teeth. "Don't tempt me. From this angle I'd hit Secchy and the others."

"Hah!" The first smiled devilishly. "That's a cute trick!"

"Well, I don't see what's holding you back!"

"I have a better idea..." a voice crackled from further up the hall. "Let us shoot you both."

Both Joshos turned to look. Streams of bright yellow mana flew across the dark corridor, consuming them both. There was a stifled scream, followed by the splash of hot fluids across the wall. Seclorum and Arcshod ducked for cover while the survivors inside the Hold gasped and fled with fright.

Razzar and two other Lounge members stood, firingly wildly down the hall.

"Dang it, no! Stop!" Rainbow Dash plowed them over from behind, knocking their weapons to the floor. "Are you friggin' crazy?!" She hovered up, gazing with horror down the corridor. "Josho!"

As the smoke cleared, Rainbow spotted a single black body, half-melted and leaking green juices everywhere.

She felt the urge to vomit. Just then—in a flash of bright light—Josho materialized behind her.

"Unnngh..." The obese stallion collapsed from the strain of his impromptu teleportation spell. Rainbow did her best to support his weight as he panted for breath. "Guh... I can sm-smell the damned thing's friggin' insides..."

"Josho! Are you okay?! Speak to me!"

"Ow..." He hissed, rubbing a bleeding shoulder that was scarred from where a manabeam grazed it.

"Whew..." Rainbow slumped across from him, her ears folded. "I thought I'd just lost a flabby grumpy friend, buddy..."

"You weren't alone..."

"Which... uh... which of the two Joshos were you?"

"I... uhm..." Josho's brow furrowed while his face went pale. "You know what? I'm not all that sure anymore." He pivoted his head and squinted at the cloaked figures helping Razzar up to his feet. "Uhm... are you sure you're you, Rainbow Dash?"

Snarling, Rainbow turned towards the Lounge. "You!" She flew forward, snarling straight into Razzar's mask. "What in Celestia's name was that all about?! You nearly killed my friend!"

"In the time we would have wasted attempting to determine who was real from who was fake, we could instead have been—"

"No, don't gimme any of that crap!" Rainbow jabbed a hoof into his cloaked chest. "You nearly turned my pal into a manasponge!"

"Much like you harmed my crew back in the storm?"

"Dude, you chased us with mana lasers!" Rainbow barked. "What the heck is this?! I thought we were working together!"

"And we most certainly are," Razzar said. "And I am not about to let any shapeshifters complicate such an endeavor."

"You want complications?! I'll give you complications!" Rainbow Dash shook a hoof. "I'll send a complication right up your—"

Seclorum cleared his throat loudly.

Razzar and Rainbow looked into the Hold.

Seclorum glared. "Give us all one good reason not to fill your bodies with crossbolts."

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Rainbow yanked the shoulder of a wincing Josho into view, pointing at the red blood trickling out. "There! Not a changeling! You happy, now?!"

"Partially..." Seclorum motioned with his crossbow. "As for the rest of you?"

Before Rainbow Dash could open her mouth—

"Gladly." Razzar held up a fist, then gestured towards his cohorts. "Brothers?"

In synchronized motion, the six figures pulled their right gloves off, revealing rust-colored scales and yellow claws. Without hesitation, they unsheathed tiny daggers from within their cloaks and sliced a tiny cut across their arms. They held their hands up, revealing the dribbling red blood in the light of Josho's horn.

Rainbow Dash blinked. She turned to look into the Hold.

The survivors' gaze fell on her.

With a sigh, Rainbow pulled her saddlebag open and rummaged inside. "I swear, at this rate, Belle and Eagle Eye are gonna think I've gone all depressed." She pulled her trusty hatchet out, bit onto the handle with her teeth, and—wincing—made a tiny incisision across her forelimb. Grunting slightly, she spat the blade back into her midnight satchel and held the bleeding wound up for the group to see. "Voila. Totally not Rainbug Dash."

"Good..." Aatxe shuffled up. "Now you can start by telling us just who in the blazes these new characters are."

"I would be glad to oblidge—" Razzar began.

"No." Aatxe pointed at Rainbow Dash. "Let her speak. We trust you slightly less than we do her at the moment."

"Jee, how flattering," Rainbow muttered. "Well, guys, you see, it's... like... this..." Her eyes drifted to the side, reflecting the shuddering figure of a melancholic mare. "...Props?"

The engineer sniffled, avoiding Rainbow's gaze. She bit her lip as she shivered at Prowse's side.

"Props, what's the matter, girl? Why are you so—?" Rainbow stopped speaking. Her ears instantly folded as her jaw fell agape. A dry gulp, and she droned: "What's happened?"

A tear ran down Props' face. She looked up, muzzle all a'quiver. "Rainbow Dash... I... I-I'm so sorry..." She choked on a sob. "There's nothing I-I could have done! I-I would have fallen too! Unky Prowsy—he saved me! I wanted to dive after them... but... but..."

"Where... where's Pilate?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Props hissed through clenched teeth. "He's dead, Dashie..."

Comments

[AppleTank]

"My old friend wasn't one for winning spelling bees," Josho said,
---Should be Seccy.

Also, let us note that since Pilate was saved by Elma!bug, he should be fine, if blind until he learns how to echolocate. And I really hope Elma didn't suicide or lose her mind. Since Ebon prolly going to be in the same sailboat.
*ba dum tish*

[Aatxe360]

The confusion and flips are more tangled than a forum mafia game.

Pilate. His head hasn't exploded yet. Did they already forget?

[Pilate]

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

[alamais]

Boy, they need a better bugtest--people are gonna be gettin' tetanus.

[SugarPesticide]

rust-colored scales and yellow claws

So they're probably reptilian. I wonder if they're something like basilisks; that would certainly explain why you can't see their faces.

[Jake The Army Guy]

Props hissed through clenched teeth. "He's dead, Dashie..."

Ugh, so apparently we're playing this game instead. Yay.

Twenty-five pushups and Twenty-five, ):(. Knock 'em out!

[Booster Spice]

When did peoples fall through holes? During the manafire? Well, its a good minute or so to the ice below, so if Dash gets going she should be able to catch up, and thats if the winds aint so strong that Pilate is being the stripy body board with Prowse steering.

[RoboRed]

The game has indeed changed.

Scales, eh? Hmmm...

[not_a_rainbow]

4239202
think of it this way, now you can have a much more dramatic resurrection!

[not_a_rainbow]

welp, things are lookin a bit better. Just hope we can get this storm turned off soon.

[Starlit Skies]

The title literally says it all.

[IceKitsune]

Ok so they are likely some form of lizards, neat.

[Nevlamas]

stream1.gifsoup.com/view/143332/nc-genius-o.gif
That's three theories in a row that weren't complete nonsense! I'm bucking perfect!

Lizards are badass.

[zaponator]

Pilate is notoriously good at falling off cliffs and not dying.

[ThatPoemGuy]

You know, that changeling's lack of caring about the blood test has me worried.
What if they've learned to fake that too?

This is Australia...

[RomanCandle]

4239825
OMG yes I freaking love lizards.

[KMCA]

wouldn't be the first time he's fallen to hs death

[Ms_Fruit_Bat]

This is going to get ridiculously bloody just from the changeling checks.

[Jonathon Smythe]

He's not dead! He's just pining!

4240024 ...Oh, Sonuvabitch.

[Cynderfall]

Oh great...

[Lone Gazebo]

Trope Averted, There was no guess the Josho. Pity it came from lucky laserblast from Lounge rather than, we know and hate changelings so we made a device to figure out. A useful development like that. On other note Lizards, Dragons. Lounge .... Lounge Lizards. They're Lounge Lizards. -facepalm- ok, Not dragons then There goes cool Idea number 3.

[Hap]

4239828 That's three sound theories in one day, none of which involve abnormally-sized ponies. Kinda makes me feel like Riverdancin'.

[Hap]

4241055 Not sure. If the blood doesn't leave contact with the changeling, can they continue to manipulate its appearance? As in, the blood test only counts if the blood is no longer touching the creature in question - it must fall to the ground, or be on a blade held by someone else.

I mean, a changeling can imitate clothing, it stands to reason they could imitate a bloody wound as well.

[CasualMarshmallow]

If Pilate dies, now that's a real plot twist.

[Lone Gazebo]

4241269 Valid Point especially with the mimicked Shotgun Joshobug had.

[That_one_guy]

He's not dead, just feeling useless and wallowing in a snow drift.

All of these imposter shenanigans are probably distracting from something much worse. The REAL changeling threat right now is someone we'd never expect. But right now I'm just wondering when Ebon gets fucked over because that's imminent.

also lizardmen

[Lightning Bearer]

So, some kind of lizards, eh? I suppose that makes sense, considering that the next continent over seems to have its share of reptiles (if Elma [or rather, the turtle "Elma" is based off of] is any indication). Certainly more internally congruent than humans.

Also, all this changeling jazz really has a lot of potential for mindfuckery, especially with all the split parties and presumed deaths, don't it? I like.

[VNilla]

There are so many balls in the air right now, I'd forgotten that no one knew that Pilate's alive. Here's hoping they don't leave him behind.

LIZARDS!
(Wait, how are lizards functioning in a cold environment?)

[Unwitting Brony]

What with so many of the Jury's crew being scattered around Stratopolis... I sure hope that, when they finally leave, nobody gets left behind because everyone thought they were dead.

[dafiltafish]

"I'm not quite dead yet... Actually I think I'll go for a walk"

[Super Trampoline]

4239202 /)

[whizzball1]

I'm just going to point to the title and go on my way.

-Spirit

[Future Regret]

PILATE DOES NOT TAKE FALL DAMAGE

[Zecoro]

4527033 damn right

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

You know, I've said this before, but I REALLY hate these Changelings. They have royally screwed everything, and just look at what they did to the group of survivors! They're paranoid beyond all belief, and rightfully so! I cannot wait for them to be rid of.

[Seraphimus]

Pilate has been dead almost as many times as shell. He's fine :\

[Hazard]

Nah, he's fine. "Elma" saved him. Of course, they don't know that.

[Regidar]

Don't worry, Propsy, Pilate may be cold, wet, and terrified out of his mind (much like me on prom night), but he should be otherwise unharmed

[TheGreatEater]

6050330

Oh! That's so true!

[arancaytar]

"He's dead, Dashie"

I swear one of these days Skirts is going to actually kill Pilate from a fall, and none of us will believe it even after they've buried him.

[arancaytar]

4527033

This entire world has fall damage disabled.

[Tim the Planes-pony]

"I swear, at this rate, Belle and Eagle Eye are gonna think I've gone all depressed."

In their defense, she was depressed, so they would have a good reason to think that.

06/02/2017 16:25 UTC

[The Lone Ranger]

Props hissed through clenched teeth. "He's dead, Dashie..."

Ha you fool he can't die that way. Everyone knows that

[hypervelocity]

The blood test is good, but man, gross and painful.

[Luminous Tune]

10427191
Hope they don't die if blood loss from all the blood testing.