- Member Since 17th Feb, 2014
- offline last seen Dec 13th, 2022
MegatronsPen
Other than a Cybertronian writing utensil, I am an avid brony that is partial to writing novice-level stories whenever an idea pops into my head, whether I like it, or not. It's mostly the latter.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- psp7master · 110k words · 785 74 · 7.5k views
- psp7master · 84k words · 547 39 · 5.5k views
- TheOriginalDash · 15k words · 56 2 · 1.4k views
- Autumntree · 2.6k words · 74 11 · 2.6k views
- psp7master · 1.1k words · 115 9 · 1.1k views
- Wren_Fest · 3.9k words · 35 13 · 1.1k views
- Caineachu · 9.6k words · 61 4 · 1.2k views
- Twilight-the-Pony · 9.2k words · 68 10 · 2.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.112 seconds
Total duration
630 users online
690,454 hits today, 2,123,720 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
All in all, quite good. Very gripping story. A few too many commas where not needed. I will watch and wait too see how this progresses.
3961571 Thanks, I will keep that in mind for the next time. I have a bad habit with putting comas where they are not needed.
3961595 i was always taught better too many than too few. too many can be read around, too few gets confusing.
Last sentence should be fetal.
3961715 Thanks.
**Jimmies.exe has stopped working
Duuuuuude...
This is great. A few grammatical mistakes killed it a bit, but I like it. I need more.
Easily one of the best plots I've ever seen. Can't wait to see where you go with this. /)
3962985 Noted. Thanks.
3963564
I wouldn't go as far to say that but THANKS. 
3962346 Thanks man, I'll tryand wittle out the mistakes the best I can.
I got goosebumps from this keep writing
3965219 Thanks. I'm happy it got that effect. Hope the rest of it does the same. Once I get them out of my head.
3965243 no prob you have talent i cant wait to read more
That prologue is very promising and I hope that you are able to keep that high level. Very nice story.
3966254
I'm already nervous as it is to not let people down, however, I will try my best. I know I can't please everyone, but I would like to at least try... 
DOMESTIC ABUSE!!!
3966467
Heh. Yeah. Sorry about that... 
>>MegatronsPen well I've never seen any plot where vinyl is addicted to things. I know there are others but I haven't read them.
Sorry it took so long to get around posting this; work and family :/ .... As for the story, I'm loving this story so far. Some punctuation errors here or there but all in all a very solid start so far. Keep up the great work! Liked and faved with follow.
3969771 Thanks bro, if you spot any, just throw me a message and I'll correct them with haste.
:
3969779
Will do my friend. Stuck at work ATM but will double check tonight when I get home.
Just a question @MegatronsPen but how often do you plan on updating the story?
3987569 I am 75% the way to completing chapter 1, and I plan to have that chapter up by tomorrow evening, if not Monday morning at the earliest. I do have work - and I work A LOT, so I have little time to write other than when I should be sleeping.
I am going to try and keep the pattern of least, one chapter a week minimum, with up to two if I am lucky. But with a baby and a house to look after as well, it may just be one a week.
I also have another fic idea in the works - some thing I've been working on at my work breaks, which I will be putting up some time soon as well.
I'm sorry if I can't frequently write for the story, but I am trying my best.
>> MegatronsPen thanks, just wondering. I wasn't mad or anything, in case that's how I sounded.
3988101 Nah, you didn't. It's cool.
3988163 okay. Hope the baby grows up healthy. :)
3995235 Cheers.
3995450 This chapter was good, I love the storyline so far. Keep up the good work. /)
It's clearly Down with the Sickness.
3999355 Thanks bro /), highly apprciate the praise. I hope I can maintain this level and interest from people.
I'm looking forward to the Lyraxbonbon myself. Well. Writing it that is.
3999714 Clearly!
4004226
4008907 It's cool man.
Hit a brick wall with chapter 2, hope I can make the sunday deadline.
4013743
What do I DOOOOOOOOOOOO?
Nah, I'll still make it.
Me thinks.
Excellllleeent...
It's Sunday!!
4023916 Oh god. What have I started?
4024369 come on! It's been more than a week! I'm... I'm sorry for yelling...
Quite fine. Sorry for the lateness of the next chapter, but, unfortunately, real life conspires against me.
Real life shall soon know my wrath.
On the one hand, the story seems pretty interesting. On the other, I'm not gonna lie, it needs some serious editing. There's a lot of awkward phrasing, grammar mistakes, and clunky word usage. It could benefit a lot from being put through a few editors and having revised versions re-uploaded. There are groups on the site that do it and plenty of random readers who can as well, all for free.
It can be tough to put your story through that kind of scrutiny and criticism, but it'll do wonders both for the content itself and for your writing in general.
4095876 I know almost all of my stories needs to be put through several revised versions, because I am not a writer by trade nor by hobby. I haven't written anything in my life close to this long or plot-worthy and I am definitely not grammatically correct most of the time. (All of the time.)
Don't take this in a way as if I am swatting down your very sound advice, as it would be immensely stupid of me to do so, because I have been told once or twice also by some friends who I know personally that also live in my area the very exact same thing. And I agree entirely with them and you. But I simply do not have time at present to go out hunting/scouring the groups, joining them, PMing, writing desperate pleas of aid in their forums, replying and/or collaborating with them on a frequent basis, due to my retarded amount of work hours, being a father, and other such in real life nonsensical bullshit I'd rather not talk about, that literally leaves me with one full hour to do anything I want to do on one miserable day off a week.
I really, REALLY want to do a revised edit of all of my chapters in all of my stories, and I really want to have several editors at my beck and call to really iron out the creases and attain that nigh on achievement of 'perfection,' but if I tried doing that now with the zero time I have on my hands, the chapter output on my two active stories would be one... a month.
I know frequency of posting and quantity is not quality, but that is all I can do for the moment. Which sucks balls.
To put things into perspective, it took me almost an hour and a half to write this, while balancing a 6 month old and housework.
Gotta love being a Daddy. Which is a piss poor excuse, but its the truth. 
Actually, to correct my last post, there was a lot of improvement from the first chapter to the second. Editing is always good, but it looks like the prologue's roughness was a one-off thing. Very good development, looking forward to finishing the next chapter and then waiting for more.
4097069 Now that you mention it, I don't think the prologue was ever proof-read or edited by the editor... Gonna run that by him. I'll work on the prologue's roughness, for sure.
4096535 Yeah, I can understand that haha. Well if you'd like, I can do editing. I'm down to two friggin' shifts each week at work until I find a new job, so I have entirely too much spare time. I work quickly, too, and of the people I've helped in the past... Well, now that I think about it, one was Russian and vanished without warning and the other decided to quit writing pony stuff right as he was getting pretty well-known, so I guess I can't actually provide much by way of references.
Really wish SmutAnon had at least left his stories up on here so I could point to the author's note as proof of service, but oh well.
Not going to lie, I did the editing on this chapter and was the main reason for the delay. My internet service provider has been really hard to deal with lately, at least one outage a day for the last month, and work has been killing me lately. My editing was not the best this time either, so I'm sure I missed quite a bit. Oh and my nephew was over all week due to spring break.
4098260 Paragraph 8 from the bottom, now with 50% less italics! Brought to you by me.
I really hope you bring this back soon. This story has such good potential! I don't want to see cancelled on this.