Satch
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Have you read Fallout: Project Horizons?
Good to know that he's got a friend after such an occurrence to cry with.
'can't wait to tell her friends' huh? Spitfire won't have to get information from Soarin. Stupid bitch will give herself away.
-
Okay, now for critique:
Very descriptive, and rather saddening. I really can't help but pity the guy.
Grammar and punctuation was good too.
And then Soarin killed the mare along with the baby the end
383888
Sounds about right.
383888>>383893 wire coathanger
That is all.
Will she sue him for alimony?
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384034
Non-magical mind-control at it's finest!
Ah man, that last line was like: "The nightmare ain't over yet, beotch!" hahaha
383854 I have, how come? If you mean it has "indications/hints" towards male rape, in that case, yes. But it's just referring to it, acknowledged it had happened. Never seen one before where it was actually "done". And besides, it kinda "meh's" out later as the number of male rapists greatly exceeds the female ones in the wastes. Same was in FoE. Not a single female one was mentioned throughout it. And all of BJ's rapists were male. Anyhow, enough rambling hehe, I actually got a story soon done about P-21's life in the stable.
383885 Glad you liked it. It was supposed to be rather sad and all that.
And who says the mare had "normal" friends? And as said, he wouldn't have much plausible evidence to show.
I hoped it managed to be a bit "icky" (or whatever to call it), since I tried to capture a quite air of discomfort with it.
383888 Doubtful he'd ruin his life as he'd just gotten it back on track again. But would likely either freak out, become terrified or be filled with rage.
383957 9 months into a 11 month pregnancy? Seems plausible...
383987 Who knows? Gummy does.
384034 I will take this as you liked this quite a bit... and while no sequel (or prequel) is planned atm, I got another male rape fic coming out within a few weeks. Al-bit allot more brutal on the violence part.
384202 I take that as the very short chapter 2 worked
Was a bit doubtful it would manage the "number limit" of words.
385353 Does it matter? he's got nothing to lose in fact,IMO the fangirl took everything from Soarin's life.But this is your story and you do whatever you want with it so, I won't push this.
And as for the sequel I suggest either Spike,Caramel or Bareburn don't worry I won't rush you or anything,take your time
385374 Actually, he has much to loose. He finally had gotten back on track and was going to practice so he could re-join the wonderbolts, if he'd kill her, he'd likely get locked away for even longer, and likely loose his friends too. And not exactly sure how a sequel to this would play out, but it's nothing I will dismiss as a possibility ;P
385747
best music if you mean most unfitting music ever.
The guy(s) in the song enjoyed themselves. Soarin did not.
386075 Would guess it's just someone either trolling, trying to be funny, or just generally hating on the story.
385353 The overmare rapes P21 in front of BJ when they return to the stable while Rampage is getting eatten in the cafeteria. Though she only sees like the middle of it and not the begining or end of it.
386258
Ah.
386444 Ah, yeah, true. But that is the "designated one crazy place" where *gasp*! Females are even capable of being rapists. There was one other, and that was a faction/gang of females. And with a stated "it's a huge majority of males only". And no mention of it otherwise, it does fall flat on that aspect. I have respect for it in the sense it does mention it, unlike FoE that does not even hint at, or acknowledge. Despite having a few times where it should have been visible/mentioned.
386504 These types of fics tend to get quite a few people that are like that.
383885
Her "friends" probably include, let's say, a bunch of rocks. And a bucket filled with turnips.
386722 Oh yeah, that laser gang that operated out of Diamond Tiara's laser factory. I forgot about them. FO:E just has Xenith's time in Fillydelphia for the whole rape thing.
...Didnt Diamond Tiara work in the prison system and kill herself in the bathroom a couple of days after the balefire bombs fell to avoid geting raped to death by the prisoners in FO:E?
Theres a rape fic out there where Spike gets raped by Gilda and another where he gets raped by Fluttershy.
384034
Uh... The power of Christ compels you?
Anyhow, I have to say... Wow. Equestria's police force sucks. Not exactly news, I know. As soon as that poor, poor foal is born she needs to be taken away from that nutjob!
386776
and sir lints-alot?
386950
Definitely.
We need a sequel. A sequel filled with vengeance.
386781 FoE had Xenith, several wastelander mares, few of which was described as either "dried blood" or "blood streaking down their hind legs". One of which was when Calamity shot a colt. And Pip was about to get raped by the slaver/raider stallion in Fillydelphia. The slaver/raider mare shown no indication to even have thought of doing such a thing, her demeanor even shown enforcing that "it's a male thing." Said mare was about to get raped by Red Eye's troops before the arena even. And Diamond killed herself to avoid being beat and eaten alive (and possibly raped) by the starving prisoners as she was the warden there. Nothing in FoE ever really hinted towards mares being capable of rape in it, only female victims were ever shown or mentioned.
Which I find rather sexist towards both genders. PH is better that they actually exist story wise, even if it's pretty much a "cult" that does it. Basically, it's if you're a mare, be scared to get raped by every stallion you come across. If you're a stallion, just avoid Flasher territory (and as they're all dead now, no risk of it) otherwise just expect to be killed or robbed by random ponies you come across. I even did a calculation if going by the about average % of our world. ~65 % of all males are soft wired to be dominant, and 65 % of all women are soft wired to be submissive (just rough, average numbers) if we take all those as rapists, and the ~65 % of the population being female, at 10000 ponies, you would have ~2250 (I think it was) rapists each of both gender.
386813 Well, it's not like such occurred would be common, plus, they didn't really have much to go on, technically. (I actually have no idea of lubricant leaves DNA trace, and if ponies would have DNA tracing. But if Soarin would have enough courage to muster up, he could possibly describe the mare.
387609 There was some talk about a possible sequel with called "Hellfire" (or something) starring Spitfire, and a promise she made.
388677
You're right, of course. Also, I remember how brilliant Celestia's royal guards conducted themselves when her pet was missing. They really do suck. badly.
390110 Crime's such a rare occurrence they barely have any experience with it... although, gotta say the hospital had a rather good security.
Yeah, I was going to say, did he even report it? Male rape is probably even MORE under reported than female rape.
390435 He rather likely did. If not, Spitfire did it for him. And in Equestria, I would see both genders having about a as high rate of it. Or well, as low. Possibly not, but if going from the FoE world, it would be, if not more mares doing it.
But irl, it is allot more under-reported. Equestria is an entirely different place thou.
I would think he did to, with all he has to lose and how she was trying to get pregnant; but people dont always react the way you expect them to, especially after such a traumatic experience.
My concern at the point where the story left off, is how do ponies contact the authorities (do they have phones? Or would someone have to go get someone directly.) I'd be tempted to tie her up but I'd be concerned about harming the filly.
At the very least, he would have a better description of her. That night he must have missed a lot of details (unsurprising) since she is still running around when she needs to be in a mental facility.
388662 Where'd you get those hard and soft wired numbers?
391549 Yeah, it's partially what I went with him, it can be up to the reader. He could have told them, and a search begun, but she could be over in Dodge Junktion or Neigh Yokel or something by the time it properly began. Or he was so filled with shame/fear that he managed to convince Spitfire to just drop it, never talk of it again. (apart from their therapeutic sessions) And yeah, while allot of different emotions might stir as he sees her, he (and Spitfire) would very likely be reluctant to harm her as it'd harm the innocent foal, it didn't do anything wrong, just it's delusional mother. As for way of contact, scrolls or mail seems to be the "long distance" way.
391786 With the gender ratio, I went with the show standards which seems to be around 60-75 % females. And I think irl equines got something like that too as less males are needed for them. And with the "wiring", I went with a few science things I've watched. A large majority of males are soft wired to be sexually dominant, and that's usually up to ~20 %. And same with females, but for sexually submissive. This is greatly affected by how we are brought up. Just like sexuality. Most humans can pretty much be taught to be bisexual at least. Especially females, since our base attraction is not bound to gender, but what qualities a good partner has for our current environment.
my reaction:
401915 I'm going to guess that's a "blank" response? Or did something fizzle?
I loved this story. Female-on-Male rape is so underdone and rarely written well. This story made me very emotional and that is quite rare. I felt for Saorin, especially since his virginity was stolen from him in such an awful manner and she purposefully got pregnant.
Reading your comments, you’re a little off about male/female rape ratios. There ARE more female victims than male, and WAY more male rapists. It is the same with stalking, but there are female perpetrators and they can be just as brutal as the men. You completely captured that. *applause*
Again, well done. I hope to see more stories like this from you.
447009 Glad to hear you liked it.And yeah, as said, it's rarely done, and even less done "well". (and tbh, female rape is underdone as well imo) And I tried to make it emotionally impacting.
And I actually meant in Equestria, I think, if it was that comment. I know irl that it's waaaay more males that does it, and female victims. But I was talking in comparability to the Equestrian standard.Which has more females, and most of which never had our worlds "treatment". Again, I hope it's the right comment I am thinking off here heh.
And well, I have written another one, my P-21 story. It's however set in the FoE universe, and quite allot more messed up. Especially in the "can be just as brutal as men". I've had several guys tell me they mentally "ouched..." and wanted to cover their groins, so I guess that's a "mission accomplished"?
Also, on a side note: Sore in the night will actually get a sequel due to popular demand.
I cracked up at "It's a filly"...I almost dropped my laptop.....I would love to see a prequel to chapter 2....
451444 "Cracked up" in which way? xP
And as said, due to popular demand this fic is getting a chapter 3.. and 4 ;P
Will prolly take a few weeks though, got quite a bit on my plate atm. And I'm not very efficient xD
453038
By cracking up I meant laughed really hard....Since you're planning more chapters, take you're time, haha. No rush.......longer it takes better it will be I suppose?
453127 Ah, okay. And while I can say it wasn't mainly intended to be "funny", I have a really bad habit of trying to add humor to my work xP
Meh, the ending made me laugh :P
453241 As said, not original intent, but a partial intent ;P
lol
More chapters, you say? Intriguing!
Cannot wait to find out whether they'll be about what happened before Cloudkicker showed up at his doorstep, or about the fallout from her doing so.
494095 Hum, have to say I hadn't really thought of the "aftermath" up until the... chapter named "Aftermath" xD
Will have to give that a ponder. It's currently behind 3 other projects atm though.
494200 I shall wait patiently!
494558 I'm afriad that will likely be required
Ok, all I got was a purple blonde pegasus, now who could that be?
OH FUCK, I know who it is.
p.s. Thank you wiki>>708572
Edit: now I have to re read to see if I'm correct
708593
Have to say it was a tad bit confusing comment, but the rapist has been figured out in the comments already