How Many Ponies Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

by TheSheepMaster

Fun Fact: Zebras are Evil

Zecora just couldn't stop laughing. There was a light bulb trying to climb her wall. And now it was just holding on, staring at her with an awkward smile on its face, and trying its hardest not to lose its grip and fall. It wasn't every day that a zebra got to see a living light bulb, so Zecora was intrigued to say the least.

When she finally stopped her zebrish giggling, she bent down to more closely inspect the creature. Its body was completely see through, and the only sign that it was somehow alive were its still twitching arms and legs, which were trying their best to stay attached to the pins they were on.

For a second time in her life, Zecora had found a creature she knew absolutely nothing about, and she wanted to know more. She left the room for a few moments, leaving the light bulb to dangle in his awkward position.

In retrospect, Larry rather regretted his choice to climb the walls. It wasn't a very good idea, really. There would have been plenty of other ways to save Jeff. Why had he decided to climb the walls...

When Zecora returned, her hooves were covered in a soft, blanket like material. After taking another good look at the light bulb on the wall, she reached down and carefully grabbed it in her forehoof, leaving Larry with no choice but to let go, or risk dying in a very painful manor.

She proceeded to walk out of the room on three legs, using the fourth to hold up Larry. While the moment wasn't by any means fun for the light bulb, he was too tired and scared to protest. Also, she wasn't doing that bad of a job of keeping Larry balanced. Maybe she actually knew what she was doing.

The house turned out to be significantly smaller than Larry had expected. It was huge compared to him, but nothing like the library-tree he'd spent the majority of his life in. In truth, this was probably the smallest house Larry had seen the inside of.

When the zebra finally sat him down, Larry noticed that he was once again up on a table, which to Larry was about the same as a sky-prison, as the only way down was by zebra or by death. Larry wasn't going to die. His life was far, far too interesting for that to happen. And there was no way he'd let himself lose his existence from this, rather than the millions of other awesome ways he could go out. Yeah, he was just going to stay on the table. Using his see-through body, he'd blend in like a ninja.

So Larry sat down on the table and frowned. He felt no need to hide his feelings toward his situation any longer. Really, this was the second in a series of really not very fun days Larry had had. Why was life so cruel to him?

Zecora was still examining him, but from the distance, simply watching the creature to see what he would do. She had really wanted him to do something other than sit and frown, but if that was what he wanted to do, then Zecora would watch. Watching was always the first thing she did when she got to know a creature. She liked to see how fast it took them to crack under pressure.

Unfortunately, the light bulb wasn't doing much at all. It just stayed in the center of the table, frowning at her and leaning back. There was a comment about unwanted splinters, but other than that, nothing. So Zecora brought in some motivation.

"Do you want to see your flying friend? Because I have him in this bin!" Zecora said as she pushed a large basket over to the table Larry was on.

When she walked over and opened it, Larry once again saw Jeff. His friend appeared to be safe. Larry genuinely smiled for a moment, before looking down to the rest of the basket, and seeing what else was with Jeff...

Jeff's wings were extended and in them, he held a deck of cards. On both sides of him there were several lady-owls who Jeff really seemed to be enjoying the company of. And on the opposite side of the basket from Jeff there were several owl sized drinks, which all appeared to be alcoholic, as well as some grains and things for him to eat. The bottom of the basket was covered in a deep red carpet, and the sides were coated in a frilly golden ribbon.

Where Larry had been scared for his friend, he now stood rather curious as to what the frickin heck was going on. Also, why was Jeff getting the fun box?

The Zebra proceeded to slide the basket back away from Larry and put the lid back on. Which had, typed in bold print, "What happens in the box, stays in the box," printed on to it. Larry would facepalm, but that would probably hurt his face.

"Fine!" Larry said. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want to see you talk and move," she said. "Go and obtain your light bulb groove."

"You speak in rhymes?" Larry asked. "Is that like a thing for you? 'Cause it's kinda really weird."

"I like to rhyme a lot, young light bulb, now go and move, and be a light bulb."

"Seriously? You just rhymed "light bulb" with "light bulb"? Why would you even do that?" Larry asked inquisitively.

"I'm not the best, at making rhymes, I just do it to pass the time."

"Yeah, maybe you should choose another hobby then. I mean I'm sorry, but you really aren't that good at it."

"No pony ever insults me, now take that back before I rage at thee!"

"Meh, that's fine. I'm not a pony anyway. I'm a freaking light bulb! Maybe you'll remember me!" Larry shouted as he jumped from the table and onto the back of the zebra who had come a little too close to him in her excitement and was now paying the price for it. "Have you ever been beat up by a light bulb, tyrant stripes? 'Cause today's the day!"

Running quickly down her back, Larry found the cloth he was looking for. The one the zebra had used to pick him up earlier. As he reached down to her leg to grab it, she used her legs to buck him up in the air, where Larry, still holding the cloth in his hands, came down hard on the zebra's neck.

He was locked in an awkward position now. He was hanging on by a cloth, with his feet in an evil zebra's neck, looking her in the eyes and feeling her angered breath on his outer layer. Larry was beginning to think he was set out for this adventure stuff after all. He was one of the strongest light bulbs he knew, and while all this stuff was scary, a part of it was almost fun. He had to remind himself, he was epic ninja bulb, there was no stopping him. He was the light bulb of destiny!

Still locked onto the zebra's angry face, Larry looked her dead in the eyes, smiled, and used all his strength to loosen the cloth and swing under her body, hard, while yelling as loud as he could, "you can't rhyme!"

Larry chuckled. Nasty zebras were no match for him. He was strong, fierce, and powerful. Swinging up through her hind legs and onto her back again, Larry wrapped the cloth rope around her body as tight as he could. Larry then kicked off her back and landed on the floor, where he ran out the cracked door to her hut and into the forest, where he thought up a plan.

***

Spike was having a nice morning, and it almost made up for what had happened the night before. Twilight had almost completely covered him in bandages for his wounds, and made him breakfast, and given him a few of the "good" gems, and was even writing to the princess herself for a change. Something about needing to brush up on her writing skills anyway. But best of all. Best of all Twilight had invited ...Rarity, to have breakfast with them. Now that is a good morning for a dragon.

When they were done with breakfast, Spike went once again, but this time accompanied by Twilight and Rarity, to find Twilight's friends, since unsurprisingly, Rarity hadn't known anything about animate light bulbs - even though the idea of one have her a "brilliant" fashion idea - they decided to go to Fluttershy's first. If anypony was going to know something about this, it would be her.

As they made their way to their freind's cottage, Spike made sure to stay close to Twilight, and especially Rarity. If he was going to go down again, he wanted his last sight before imprisonment to be something beautiful, or in Twilight's case, someone he cared deeply for. He would kinda prefer to see Rarity in that situation, though...

The dirt road was matted with hoofprints from hundreds of years and thousands of ponies. Twilight decided to talk about this and the ways time changes things, but Rarity was concerned about her hooves getting too dirty. Spike was just staring at Rarity, and thinking of how beautiful she looked in the bright sunlight, and the way it glistened off her hair with such elegance.

So not one of them noticed when a zebra ran through the clearing in front of them while shouting some sort of rhyme about a terrible light bulb.

Spike certainly didn't notice. No mortal sound would distract him from the glorious essence of his lady's mane.

Twilight didn't notice because she was far too busy admiring the time-worn road they were standing in the middle of.

And Rarity didn't notice, because she was complaining about her hooves and what the dirt would do to them, all while secretly noticing the little dragon below, awkwardly staring at her and unconsciously making kissy faces.

The only one who did notice was a squirrel in one of the trees, who in a past life had been a human residing on the planet Earth, named Bear Grylls. Nopony understood his chirpy squirrel noises, but he did, and that's what mattered. "And here you notice the zebra in its natural habitat. Watch as it moves in its unusual pattern, running for its life from the carnivore behind it. Let's see what we have here. A mountain lion? A cheetah? Blimey, it's a light bulb. That's something you don't see every day, folks."

The squirrel scurried off to find some nuts, while thinking about what parts of the light bulb could be edible. He would really have to look into that at some point.

Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, and the midget purple dragon all finally noticed the screaming zebra when it hit them, literally. Zecora had been too occupied with her - and it was actually really hard to do right - rhyme screaming, and looking behind her to make sure the light bulb wasn't gaining on her. She was a genuinely scared little zebra, and she needed someone to hold her.

As it turned out, she was in luck. She landed on the two ponies and the dragon with a smash, and suddenly, she wasn't the only one screaming. They didn't have to do it in rhymes though, lucky them.

With a leap to the top of the pony/zebra/dragon pile, a certain lightbulb stood tall, arching his back up and shouting out as loud as he could, "I am Larry the light bulb, hyper ninja defeater of all!"

And the destiny was fierce that day.

Author's Note:

A wonderful friend has done something wonderful for me.

Comments

[ChaosSapphire]

It seems well need a higher power to catch this errant lightbulb.

We will need, the derp.

[TheSheepMaster]

3869411

Good idea!

[TheSheepMaster]

3869521

I'm glad you like it.

[HyperBlossom7]

This just gets funnier and funnier!

[High Overseer]

This is the best fic about light bulbs in existence

[The Princess Rarity]

"I am Larry the light bulb, hyper ninja defeater of all!"

This is my new battle cry.

[TheSheepMaster]

3869691

Woo!

[MythrilMoth]

risk dying in a very painful manor.

A painful manor? Is that like, the house of a rich S&M freak?

[Carabas]

Tolkein ain't got shit on this, if I may use my most formal reviewing parlance. This is hilarious, and I can only assume this lightbulb's vague quest will end in the best sort of unspecified glory.

[TheSheepMaster]

3886571

I forgot to reply to this... weird.

I'm not sure if this beats Tolkein, but I appreciate the thought. And yes, Larry is going to "unspecified glory" all over the place.

[DismantledAccount]

I only read the newest chapter now. And now I'm sad.
I wanted to laugh like that days ago.

[TheSheepMaster]

3893265

I'm glad you enjoyed it, oh wolf of the night, who associates himself with the great number that is two hundred and eighty nine.

[DismantledAccount]

3893277

...
...

[TheSheepMaster]

3893304

Ok then. Woooooo.

[TheSheepMaster]

3907146

It might.

[Lag Incarnate]

And that's why you don't mess with anything made out of glass and/or metal.