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Memories of Flight

A pegasus stallion remembers the emotions he felt when flying.

Entry for EQD's 4th Writer's Training Grounds.
Prompt: "What's it like to fly?"

My first fanfic, so any constructive criticism is welcome.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 1 )

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Silent Strider

Silent Strider #1 · Jan 27th, 2014 · · ·

Nice story (or, rather, scene, as EQD suggested doing).

I would have gone for smaller paragraphs, but that is me.

I would also have attempted to include a bit more detail on the depicted pegasi; apart from knowing that the narrator's love had red fur, there's close to nothing there to create a mental image of the pegasi. When using show characters, specially the mane 6 and main supporting characters, describing the physical characteristics is not that important because the reader can be expected to know how they look, but when using characters you created for your fic a better description greatly helps the reader in being able to create a corresponding mental image.