- Member Since 9th Dec, 2013
- online
Ponyess
I just recently started to write stories directly towards the FiM actively, though I have been writing for years, publishing numerous stories at Mibba and the eventual pony story, as far as to the MLP
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This... has potential. It's not the best, but editing errors are thick and weedy, and I feel like Daring Do, hacking through the undergrowth to find the story. What I did find.... still confuses me. I see aspects of mental change, physical changes, costuming, and clop, all things I'd love to find more of. But right now the grammar, spelling, and to some degree structure leave the story next to unreadable. If you wold like help editing, please let me know and ill be glad to lend a hoof.
-BrightShine
3730242 Your help may be the best thing to hppen to my stories, I'd be delighted to see what you could do for the story at hoof.
Considering, spel-check only can reach so far, making the story worth reading, even after the story consept was aproved?
3730242 These ARE important aspects of the story, on Purpose.
Just glad you enjoyed them.
Now I just hope you'll enjoy the duration, since I have several more chapters waiting, and yet more to be written.
This story has potential, though it need some work. Please separate the paragraphs with one space between each other. It'll make reading much smoother.
3750798 Thanks.
Mission acomplished. I hope it does the experience more enjoyable, when you're back, for the next chapter, if not before?
3751267 Ahh much better and yes, I'll be around to read your other chapters.
3751444 thanks.
I'm already working on the next chapter.
there will be more after that.
The premise is interesting, if somewhat confusing, but you really should give the story a going over to get rid of the typos.
3805702 asuming it isn't the typose that's in the way,
could you explain what it is that's confusing?
for me as the writer, it can be all too easy to be blind to the details that I see, just because I wrote the story n the first place.
on this opoint, I wrote the story, because I liked the underpinning concepts behind it. I wouldn't, and shouldn't write it, if I didn't.
in my standards, it is a long story, but this may change at any moment, if another story would become longer, because I was inspired to push envaloppies further?
Still, most of what's going on, 'Should' have been explained in the initial part. even if I have introduced several characters and ellements, since this early part.
even with a description that huge i still have no idea what this story is even about.....
3829747 maybe 'a kiss goodnight' had summoned up most of it, at the start?
only that would have missed out on what came the next day, looking at the film, only for Pinkie Pie to pop out?
there's the Halloween ofcause.
3829896 .....also understood nothing in your reply , is it me that's missing something here?....
3829929 hmm, I wouldn't know ..
guess Pinkie never poped out of your tv when you see a MLP film?
you do know what Halloween is, right?
3829954 yes it's my favorite holiday , no that has never happened to me....
3829978 who doesn't love the holiday, yeah .. this is a great part of the story, as it stands.
I guess it isn't commonplace for Pinkie to jump you where you sit before the tv?
only the two sisters have somewhat unorthodox ways in how to prepare for said holiday, even if you don't count Pinkie hopping out of the tv ..
since it is Halloween, none would look twice when Pinkie followed them out, where they meat up with the next girl.
ofcause they had to give her a treat, in their own style,
3830072 ....
3830088 uh, I think you lost me there
maybe the easiest explanation had been to draw it up?
there is a group, where one could ask if someone could consider trying ..
at 14,000 words, it is featured in the list of the longest stories.
Edit: I would need some help with how to move this forwards, from where i currently stand.