Insanity is only those of the vivid imagination
Over a thousand years she has been alive. That means that Celestia has had hundreds of mares and stallions as her mate. Each one leaving a sizable hole in her heart once it was time for life to take its final course. And after a thousand heartbreaks, she finally finds what she considers the one. But will she be able to take the eventual heartbreak?
As a final option, Celestia does the only thing she can to make sure her and Twilight's life together is not spoiled by time.
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I haven't read the story yet, but this description seems kind of... odd. By using similar wording, you establish a connection between these two things, implying that Celestia simply picks a new lover every year with regularity, which I don't think is intended since we are talking about her having her heart broken over and over.
I'd recommend rewording it to avoid the "one thousand years == one thousand lovers" connection.
Nice little story, always nice to see more shipping with Twilight and Celestia also nice to see Rarity with Luna not a ship I often see.
Some minor errors;
"Because I don't know if I can loose her too.", should be Lose not Loose
The white unicorn watched as the lavender paced back in forth in her room, missing the word Unicorn here
"More like right now." said a groggy eyed Shining Armour as a purple thirteen alicorn bounced into the room, slightly awkward phrasing perhaps this instead, "thirteen year old purple alicorn"
I noticed only a few spelling/grammatical errors, but other than that I really enjoyed the story
Technical issues aside, now that I've actually read this... I'm left very confused, my willing suspension of disbelief, in pieces.
It's true that giving up immortality in order to live and die with one's true love has been an established trope since before Tolkien did it, but you can't have the characters take it for granted. It just... makes no sense.
Choosing not only to die for someone, but that others should also die for your sake, is not a decision that should be taken lightly. Choosing to die when you are perfectly capable of making your love immortal, just so she doesn't have to see her friends die—something that has even odds of happening anyway, if they're even still close after all that time—would be hard to justify even with a whole story devoted to it. The way you glossed over it... doesn't work for me.
Sorry
Not bad for TwlCel
Now more TwiDash for you
Over all very well done, quite a change from the usual Emotality fics that pop up. Still there is one thing that bugs me... Much like 3733983 I have a issue with the immortality subplot, not quite for the same reasons but still.
3733983 I have to agree, but it was still not bad for a first try. It had spelling and pacing issues, basically. Which are signs of inexperience, not incompetence. I think that Dragon could make something interesting out of this.
Although the use of Celestia surrendering her immortality and having a little filly with Twilight do seem rather a lot like...tell me, do you read the Twilestia Collab, Dragon?
3734219
Sadly, I have not. The only group collabs I've ever read is Dislestia, Twiluna, and Chryslestia.
3734311 Okay. Well in that case you have some good ideas, too. You just need some more time and care in developing them. I look forward to working through these ideas with you ^^
3734320
Yeah, I sometimes have the problem of wanting to either get it done or get to an idea I have set up later on or, and this pisses me off to no end, I just tell more than I show, and it tends to rush it all along more than needs to be. And I look forward to working over these ideas with you as well. ^_^
I love how u made bakmah
Where's the fourth wall gone?
That was an awesome fic.
3733983
This, so very much this. And the whole "we don't have enough power" thing regarding the rest of the elements: so, what, they're not even going to consult the Element of Magic on how to fix that problem?
The dialogue is a bit out of whack and you need to work on your spelling and grammar.
Finally!!! One that isn't sad. Slightly bittersweet but not really sad.
3734219
I am, actually, debating on wether or not to partake in the prompt collab
This was a VERY good story
3775732
Would have loved to actually read about this incident