When Divinity Just Won't Cut It

by BlimpAtomic

Off the Rails

Train rides are long, incredibly dull, and stupid as fuck. But when the best thing you have in terms of a vehicle is an expensive magic carriage, I'll take the stupid train. I'm made of flesh, not bits. I stood on the platform, my singular gray suitcase lying on the floor next to me. The station was small, which was no surprise. The Tundren Station is hardly used at all, considering that a whopping 2,000 ponies live in this town. Tundren isn't far from our ice-born Tower, so at least that's a plus.

Smoke filled the scarlet evening sky as the locomotive approached. Luna's moon began to rise above the mountains, being blocked out only by the giant blue and grey train parked by the platform. The wheels stopped with a hiss as voices began murmuring and ponies trotted to the train.

"All aboard for Canterlot!"

I quickly darted into the first set of doors I could find. I held my ticket up to my eyes. It read "Sleeper Car A, Bed 6." The car I was in had red writing on the far wall, which read "Car O." Fuck. I made my way to the other end of the car, pushing through the set of doors into Car N. Snobby assholes lined every seat. Gotta part the seas, man. Part the seas. My orange aura created two walls of magic on either side of me, pushing away anyone who dared to move. I received a few grunts here and there and one "Why, I never!" from some old bitch with a giant purple hat on. It looked so stupid I wanted to chuck it out the window right there. Refraining myself, I pushed through doors until I finally reached my bed. It was a light brown and a rather small bed, but it looked pretty comfortable. I chucked my shit under the bed and practically dive-bombed under the sheets. They had a blanket and everything too, and I got to stare at the scenery since they had a window right where I laid. Because the mountains of North Equestria are unforgiving, we were gonna take the long way around through the Canterlot Flats. And I really needed my sleep. I was gonna talk to two princesses and a weird asshole soon enough.

I lay in my bed, the night sky starting to set in. I couldn't sleep, as I expected. Too much to think about, and there was never enough time to think about it all. I brushed my charcoal mane out of my eyes and peered out the window. Man, it looked great. The Flats were really beautiful, especially in the summer, as it was now. It was basically one giant grassland, but it just looked so peaceful. I'd have to visit them by myself some time. Patches of soil sprouted tall blades of grass, while others yielded large oak trees and bushes. A few buffalo roamed around, prodding at the grass with their snouts. I was actually a little scared for a moment. The last encounter a train had had with buffalo was pretty dangerous. I mean, it was just for a freaking tree, but I didn't trust them for some reason.

That's a problem with me. I can hate your guts for no reason at all. I can just look at you and think about how many ways you can torture somepony before they give in. And I can't explain it. The more I looked at the buffalo, the worse I felt. Not about my problems, but about theirs. Every year they got pushed farther and farther off their land in the Flats. They negotiated with us ponies, deals were made, and peace was preserved. Of course, the deals were never kept, and the Equestrian Army pushed farther inland. And they took it! The buffalo didn't decide to lose their cool, to say enough was enough. No, they let it happen. It almost made me cry as I lay there. What had they done wrong? The minute a deal I make goes awry, I blow my shit and let loose the dogs of war, because no one fucks with Legion Flare. But this was different. They were the lightning rod here: the group that let things happen to them without retaliating. They went about their meaningless lives, surviving and feeding their young and taking shelter in the Tundren Caves when it got cold. They lived merely to live. They didn't ask for life. They didn't question it either. The buffalo took what life gave them and that was that. So why did we have to make it harder on them? My head seethed in anger. I would've burned a hole in the window with my glare if it wasn't for the incoming call from none other than Rose.

I closed my eyes and let my mind open up. Soon I heard her voice ringing in my head.

"Forgot to call me?" Shit.

"Fuck, yeah, sorry about that," I whispered. "Fell asleep way too fast," I lied. I couldn't help it. At least it made sense.

"Then I'm assuming you also forgot to make reservations at Canterlot Castle too, didn't you?" Every day she sounded more and more like my secretary, but I liked it. I'm a busy stallion.

"Yeeep." I could practically hear her facehoofing.

"I'll call them really quickly and see if we can get you something there."

"No, no," I calmly said. I felt really peaceful now for some reason. "I'll find something else, they don't need my stupid shit right now."

"If you insist." She immediately dropped the stern secretary voice. "Just, please be careful there. Love you dear."

"Love you too, Rosie." I smiled a bit as I ended the call with my magic and sealed my mind off. Magic calls: one more reason that being a unicorn is always better. The other races can bite my furry orange ass.

We pulled into Canterlot Station in the dead of night. My brain hadn't allowed me a second of sleep, which sucked considering I had nowhere to go. I wearily shuffled out of the train carrying my bag behind me. This station was huge, and it was alive, even at an hour like this. The giant central plaza was filled with assholes in suits and tourists in floral shirts with huge fucking cameras. The station looked great, but I could hardly tell where I was going. I trotted through the narrow tunnels and up some concrete stairs, stumbling out on some dark-lit street. The moon still shone brightly, but I couldn't see shit. Large penthouse apartments and borderline palaces lined the cobblestone streets. The city was beautiful, but it made you feel like shit since you knew you were way too poor to live there.

I wandered around for awhile, gazing at everything like I was in a museum or something. I lounged on a pine green bench and dropped my suitcase behind it. This'll do for a bed, I thought. I took off my cape and draped it over the back of the bench. I got a bit more comfortable and tried going to sleep again.

"You come here often?"

I nearly shit myself. I turned towards the voice on my right. Man, this poor guy. He was clearly homeless. He smelled like a cesspool with his dark brown mane and light gray fur. Little patches of dirt and grime mottled his coat, which was unkempt and disgusting. Did this guy not bathe at all, or was he beyond caring at this point? If cleanliness is next to godliness, then this stallion was Satan himself. His wild green eyes scanned me over, and my hoof went immediately to my bit purse. He looked innocent enough, but even "the greatest city in Equestria" had to have its share of street trash. When he took no action, I relaxed a bit more, although a bit disturbed at his sudden appearance.

"Uh, no," I said in the calmest voice I could muster. This guy was really unsettling, even if he hadn't done anything.

"Yeah?" he grunted. He had a really deep and stern voice. "Thought as much." He turned away, closing his eyes. Guess he was trying to sleep too. But I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked atrocious, sure, but he was just so...I don't know, captivating? I couldn't explain it, but he was just so chill with everything around him. Is this the results of not giving a fuck anymore? I need to try that. He opened one eye and I turned away, pretending to sleep. "You got something to say?" he asked sleepily. He seemed friendly enough about it, so I decided a conversation wouldn't hurt.

"Name's Flare. You?"

"Jade," he said. He was wide awake now. "I must look pretty good, eh?" He gave me a smug look.

"You're a fucking model," I said sarcastically. He was a good sport about it, so we both had a little laugh. "I don't know, man. Didn't think there'd be homeless in this city."

"Of course there are. You kiddin' me?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, I really thought there wouldn't be. I mean, Celestia runs this city herself. Thought she'd care more about us, ya know?"

"Pfft," he chuckled. "Hell no. She keeps her eye on the power, and if that means making the rich powerful, then that's what she'll do." I was a bit shocked at his conclusion, but he sounded like he knew his shit.

"Man, that's gotta suck ass," I sighed. "Life must suck for you, huh?"

"Not too bad," he replied. "What about you?"

"I don't do too much. Kinda involved in dark magic and shit like that." I expected him to leave at that, but he stayed. That was nice. We're shunned pretty much all across Equestria.

"Cool," he nodded. "But tonight, you're worthless." I wanted to beat him upside the head for that one. I was about to, but I stopped. He wasn't completely wrong. "All alone on a warm summer night, sitting on a park bench trying to sleep," he continued.

"In that case, none of us are anything much, huh?" I asked.

"Yep," he nodded. "It's all about how you take it. So, how will you take it?" I looked at him, the same calm look he had plastered on this whole time leaking into my own expression. He gazed off into the night sky.

"I'll just deal with it," I said as he smiled.

"There ain't a better way," he said as he turned away. I closed my eyes and started to think. Now I knew why he was so interesting. The fucker shouldn't have been so happy. I was tired of seeing punching bags everywhere I looked. Did no pony at all bother to care anymore? Jade was swell and all, but it looked to me like he gave up a long time ago. But no matter what, as I fell asleep on that damned bench, he was right. We're all the same, festering pile of shit.