When Divinity Just Won't Cut It

by BlimpAtomic

Meetings in the Dark

I sat alone in the dimly lit library, my fiery-orange fur lined with sweat and my thick, charcoal hair covering my eyes. I pored over a book, narrowing my eyes as I read every line over and over, constantly in search of something I'd been unable to find. Dammit, dammit all, I thought as my brain grew weary and my eyes fell shut.

Once upon a time, someone did something stupid. Very, very stupid. Surprisingly enough, this was Discord. The maniacal, immortal slimebag that had caused havoc in the world for as long as it had existed. For living as long as he had, he had grown so bored. There was very little to do, having already done everything there was to do. So he played God, creating something so immensely powerful that even he had little to no control over it. Its very existence was a contradiction. Discord created pure energy. This is the first of a series of fuck-ups by Discord.

We know that energy cannot be made or destroyed. Rather, it's converted between various forms. But do you really think Discord cared? Of course not! He enjoys nothing more than sticking his hideous tongue at any and all laws of the universe. Anyway, what he created was not alive. But it had a being, if that is to justify my point. In fact, upon the minute of its creation, it took to immediately destroying the area around it. That being said, it was created as only a tiny amount of energy, but because energy has no real mass, nor does it take up a certain amount of space, its size fluctuated easily. It had no control over what it did, bolts flying everywhere from it. Its body, if you will, was textured something akin to space and our concept of what electricity would look like. Sparks constantly flying, it rampaged across the world. With nothing to stop its infinite power, it seemed that the world would come to an end.

All things must come to an end, of course, but it was not yet the world's time. Our beloved Star-Swirl the Bearded cast a spell on it, magically sealing it in Tartarus. The seal itself was put into the guardian of Tartarus, assuring absolute safety. History was recorded, and time passed in such a way that little was remembered about it. Immortality does not come with great memory, but Discord never forgot what he'd done. He didn't feel bad about it, no. He was scared. Truly, undeniably scared. If something of such incredible power could be free once more, he knew that his little games would be over. Discord was no longer playing pranks and breaking physics. He was dabbling in the affairs of the universe, and that was something he didn't trust himself with.

More terrifying yet, unbeknownst to Discord, was the possibility of what is known as essence binding. For a brief time, Star-Swirl the Bearded had transferred his being into the body of energy. Now, as a comparison, we've all seen some sort of movie where we've given something mechanical free will. I, Robot for example. Multiply that by at least 200, and you can see what this was like. On its own, the energy was undoubtedly a threat on the world. However, its damage came from it merely existing. With Star-swirl's knowledge of magic and his complete control of it, it could have been the end of everything. You simply can't give something like that any sense of free will. Sure, it may not have been its own, but imagine if somepony else had found that first! Star-Swirl left almost immediately, also afraid of the power it had. He refused to let his own morals direct something like that.

Discord did not want this great failure of his to be remembered, but such things were already written down. Rather than try and track down this information, he decided that it'd be better to make sure no one but the damned could get to Tartarus. And when you're dead, you really aren't gonna do much. Essence binding wasn't that common either, but it was certainly used a lot more than a spell like the one Discord made. He wrote down his spell for getting to Tartarus and kept it inside of him. He was immortal, and in case he needed it for whatever reason, he'd still have it. I could explain all the ways in which this could go wrong. But in short, I'll just say: Discord done goofed. This is the second way Discord fucked up.

And last but not least, to put the icing on the fucking cake of slaughter and chocolate, Discord once again fucked up. And by Discord, I mean reproduction. By reproduction, I mean my parents. And by my parents, I mean Sombra and...well I have no fucking clue who my mom was. When you've got a crazy love for dark magic, an empire, and way too much ambition, you just don't make a child. Nothing good comes of it. Sorry dad, but you fucked up. Some wonder child, huh?

"At this again?" I quickly opened my eyes, taking in everything around me. A little puddle of drool had formed where I'd been resting my head. Rose quietly walked in wearing the traditional black cape of the Tower. You see, we live in this kinda establishment meant mostly for the studies of magic. Dark magic, if you're gonna be a nitpick. I greeted her with a quick kiss, then looked back down at my work with her taste still fresh on my lips. Damn she was beautiful. Ya ever see one of those mares where they're more cute than they are sexy? Yeah, that's what this is like. Akin to her name, her mane was like a red-scarlet kinda color, and it went really well with her creamy white skin. She looked like the moon, but on fire! She put her foreleg around me as she started reading, her dark eyes scanning everything.

"You know I can't pry away from this kind of stuff. Been trying to, but it ain't letting me." She gave a little smile, but her eyes were concerned.

"I know, Flare, but this is getting out of hoof. You don't even know if it's true or not." She was right on that, but I was always the superstitious little bastard. I didn't worry and all, no, but it was just one of those things.

"But if it is, then-" She cut me off, putting a hoof to my mouth. I hated that, but I wasn't gonna stop her now.

"Even if it is, there's nothing you can do about it. Haven't you already dedicated yourself to this enough?" I smiled, if only briefly. I stood on my hind legs and levitated her into the air with my right hoof, an orange aura surrounding her. She loved it when I did that. "See? Example A!" she yelled. She was almost near the ceiling, but it was hilarious. I brought her back down and went back down on all fours. "Dear Celestia, I still can't believe you did that crazy thing. You lost so much blood I had to nurse you back to health my self!" She pointed a hoof at me, trying to look upset. She couldn't hold it, though. Rose was too damn cute to be threatening. She broke her frown and smiled as I kissed her again.

"I know," I whispered as I held her. "And I love ya for it." The crazy damn thing she was talkin' about was...well, what I just did. I read in this one manuscript about being able to control magic through your appendages. But you had to connect the nerves in those appendages to the main nerve between the magic node and the brain. I had fucking Ollie do it. He was the Tower surgeon, but it was a risky choice, 'cause the bastard's always drunk. Luckily, I caught him when he was sober, so he helped me out with that. He's a good guy, that Ollie. But it's hard to trust people here. You can't even trust the stuff you're fucking around with.

That's the thing about dark magic. It's just like regular magic, but it has a few twists in it that make it better. Like, you can cast certain spells that you couldn't do with normal magic. Like putting images and scenes in other ponies' heads and shit. It's pretty fucked up. Sometimes, you can't even tell someone's been messing with that stuff until out of nowhere they pull out this dark aura that just blows you away. Big shot Canterlot jackasses have been studying it for awhile, but they won't use it unless absolutely necessary. The bunch of cowards are scared of it. In the North here, we've already taken it in. In fact, we're not far from Canterlot. But anyway, we've been pretty much rejected from towns and shit because we practice this stuff. It's a shame, but we're gonna do it anyway. You can either let it happen, or you can just delay the inevitable. Rose smiled a little bit before I let her go.

"Now look, let's just get some sleep already, alright?" she said as she grinned coyly. "If you behave, I might just show you something new I've been working on." I knew where this was going, and so did my little buddy.

"Yes ma'am!" I saluted before trotting up the stairs behind her. Dammit Rose, I'll never get tired of you. You're just too much fun.

Author's Note:

And...here...we...go.

Comments

[Mr Ignorable]

You haven't seen mentally unstable until you've looked at this and laughed from 0:35 to 1:00

[BlimpAtomic]

3777769 Welp, this is the thing that has broken me. I just, I don't even know....Oh no....

[Starlight Nova]

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